Chapter 2: The Second Date
“I feel as if we stand out somehow.”
“Oh please, no one’s even looking at us.”
The God Emperor looked up from his piping hot coffee, all the ponies in the cafe instantly turning their heads away and trying to look like they weren’t staring. Many of the ponies that hadn’t calmly walked or run for their lives out of the cafe stared at the two with jaws hung agape or looks of pure disbelief. Smiling wryly, the Emperor nodded his head, picking his cup up with his large, clawed hand. “I suppose you are right, my dear.”
Celestia smiled as well, though her’s was of a more nervous variety. After the Emperor’s appearance at the castle, Celestia had taken him to the local cafe down the street. It was quaint shop, which made a pretty mean cup of joe to boot, and was currently the site for a date between two of the most powerful beings in the galaxy.
Celestia’s mind was abuzz with questions. What the Emperor’s world, or rather, universe was like, what was his past, why his followers tried to kill her on the spot, why he was sort of dead when she last met him, or what his real name was. But all she could manage was a couple of nervous glances to his stunning features and sips of her coffee, her words failing her to first date jitters. Well, it technically counted as their second date, but this was their first one without Celestia’s life on the line.
The God Emperor folded his leg over his thigh, how he was able to manage such a feat while wearing such constrictive armor Celestia didn’t know. Celestia had to magically enhance his seat so his great weight wouldn’t crush it underneath him, but even then he looked a bit on the ridiculous side sitting in a chair that looked like it was made for a child compared to his massive size.
“So, Princess Celestia, you’re probably wondering about my abrupt appearance into your world,” the Emperor began.
Celestia nodded, hiding a smile behind her cup. “It isn’t every day a portal from another dimension opens up at my doorstep, especially with such a strapping—I mean, um… pleasant surprise such as yourself.”
Grinning at the blush on Celestia’s cheeks, the God Emperor nodded his head. “Yes, it was quite a surprise for me too. Though not in the way you’d think. I fully believe I should be dead right now, rather than talking with you over cups of coffee.”
“Dead?” Celestia asked, arching a brow. “But how? You seem perfectly fine to me.”
“Well, technically I was dead. I’m just not anymore.” Catching Celestia’s perplexed look, the Emperor held up a hand. “Allow me to explain. Before I arrived in your world, I had died. My body’s life had finally come to an end, meaning my soul was free from its physical trap on the golden throne in the palace.”
“But wait, wasn’t the reason you needed me in the first place was so that you wouldn’t die?” Celestia tapped her chin, wracking her brain. “That cultist, he said the plan was to rejuvenate you. And I saw it! The moment I donated most of my magic to you, your body started healing. Well, it was going at an incredibly slow rate, but still, I thought for sure your body would repair itself.”
The Emperor sighed, shaking his head slowly. A dark shadow seemed to pass over his majestic features, clouding them of their earlier radiance so that only a dullness remained. “That was never the plan, Celestia. I knew I would die someday. My own mistakes had caused mankind to nearly fall on the brink of annihilation, even after everything I did to make sure it excelled. Even when on the golden throne my err of judgement cost humanity much strife and pain. The own people became mere slaves to a cult that worshiped me like a god. People were ruled by fear and death, while those vile in heart became rulers of the torn fragments of the once glorious Imperium of Man.” The God Emperor gritted his teeth, his clawed fist closing tightly and shaking. Now the dullness became a razor sharpness that enhanced his features to those of pure rage. Already from where she was, Celestia could sense the anger that was bubbling inside the Emperor’s heart. A fury that could start and end galaxy-spanning wars, destroy entire planets beneath its power, and even battle with the gods themselves.
Celestia slid her chair over to the Emperor’s side, and laid a single hoof on his knee. Looking up to him while he looked down to her, Celestia smiled, patting him fondly. “There, there, no need to get upset. This is a date, remember? Just relax, and I assure you, everything will be alright.”
The Emperor’s anger fizzled out beneath Celestia’s touch, a momentary perplexed look lighting his eyes. Shaking his head, a bitter smile formed on his lips, though he still glanced at Celestia with a fondness in his eyes.
“You are right, Celestia. Thank you for reminding me that. Even if my people once worshiped me as a god, I am far from perfect.”
“No one is perfect. We can just be the best we possibly can. Even as an immortal myself, I know there is still much to learn and do in my lifespan.” Celestia picked up her cup with her magic, and took a few meager sips as she returned to her side of the table.
“Truly, your wisdom is only second to your beauty, my dear,” the Emperor said, nearly causing Celestia to spit out her coffee as her face turned a bright red. Chuckling mildly, the Emperor relaxed in his seat. “Though now, I guess that’s all behind me. The world I once knew had changed drastically from when I last ruled it hands on. And now, I’ll never get the chance to again.”
“You mean, you can’t return?”
“I mean, I choose not to return,” the Emperor answered.
Celestia’s eyes widened, and her mouth hung open. “But… but they’re your people! How can you abandon them like that!”
“How can I not?” The God Emperor rested a hand on the table, nearly making it break in two. “Because of my own blindness I allowed mankind to be corrupted by the forces of Chaos. Then for 10,000 years it lived in a period of technological stagnation and intellectual repression by a fear mongering cult that sullied my name to spread terror among my own people.”
“But that doesn’t mean you just abandon them like that. Do you not care for them at all?”
“That is exactly why I choose not to return. Mankind must learn to survive on its own, without me. All I brought it was trouble and failure. Only a man can rule mankind.” The Emperor closed his eyes, sighing deeply. He opened them again, lifting up his golden, clawed hand and staring at it dully. “And I am no man.”
“Mister God Emperor, please—”
“Never call me a ‘God’ again, Celestia,” the Emperor snapped. His expression softened as he saw the hurt in Celestia’s eyes. “Just… please, don’t. I can handle others using such a term for me, but even if I’m not a man, I am no god either. I don’t want you using it because I don’t want you to see me as one.”
“I don’t,” Celestia said, looking into his eyes. “All I see is someone with regret in their hearts and pain in their past. But beneath that, there is someone with a heart that genuinely wants love and peace.” Celestia touched her own chest, right above her heart. “A heart I can relate to.”
A faint smile sprouted on the Emperor’s lips. “And me as well, my dear.”
A silence fell over the two, one enthralled with the other, these two beings of power and strength stuck in their own little world.
That is, until a waiter appeared at their table, drenched in sweat while his knees shook like a tree in a hurricane. His attention was focused solely on the God Emperor, who stared down at him with alien eyes and a physique so terrifying the waiter had to force himself with great pain even to approach them. “S-sorry to interrupt y-you t-t-two,” he stuttered, his teeth clattering together, “but all the o-other patrons h-have left, and we d-don’t want to go out of b-b-business, so…” He winced, running out of the empty cafe as fast as his hooves could take him. “Oh, please don’t kill me, I’m too young to die!”
As the two of them watched the waiter flee for his life, Celestia said, “Maybe we should go somewhere else for our date? Perhaps somewhere with a less likely chance of a ponies running away just at the sight of us?”
“You lead the way, my dear,” the Emperor agreed, getting out of his seat.
Walking past him, Celestia bumped against his knee, looking up and smiling. “And maybe you’ll finally spill the beans at how you managed to die and come back again, hmm?”
The Emperor winked to her, following Celestia out of the cafe with a duck of his head at the front door. “Perhaps. Only if you reveal to me the secrets of this Equestrian way of making coffee. On Terra, never have I tasted such a wonderful brew.”
“I think I can manage that,” Celestia said, giggling like a school-filly with the God Emperor following behind her like a giant, gold-plated shadow.
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Id quit like a gold plated shadow...
4295450 There is no evidence to assume that the Emperor had such an opinion of himself. And even then he is just only human. Giving the circumstances the Emperor did far better than other human could have.
Not to mention that with the thrones [Apparent] failure around the year 41M 999 [Which coincides with the fact the throne was only meant to function for ten thousand years] and the mention that there were massive uprisings within the Imperium at the end of the forty first millennium seem to indicate that with the Emperor "Gone" mankind as a unified force [which even then can only just defend themselves] has crumbled.
My only complaint is that the chapter ended to quickly!
So with that in mind, GIVE ME MOAR!!!
I like this representation of him. He seems a lot like Celestia. I hope we get a name out of him, though.
Am I the only one who thinks she's taking him to Sugar Cube Corner?
Well, since the eye of a hurricane is the calm, stormless point in the center, I feel that Waiter was doing remarkably well for approaching the two most powerful beings in the universe.
Lots of ponies have names that are synonymous with their jobs. Why would Celestia assume that God Emperor wasn't actually the God Emperor's name?
I can't wait until the Emperor tells Celestia about the Primarchs and what happened to them
4294756
O please don't misunderstand I am sorry if I came off being dickish I did not mean to say that you should change the terminology you are using in this story. As many people also believe that some immortals can die and you using this definition of immortality is not new. I simply wanted to let you know that other people use the literal definition of immortality in which the being can not die.
I am sorry for any misunderstandings and did not mean to call you out. I understand that most people don't care for such moot points and if you don't want to discuss it that's fine. Your readers understand what you mean by immortality and that's what matters.
4296073 Duh, going to the third most powerful beings ground.
Can't wait to see the God Emperor manning up and return to God Emperor'ing once his romance with Celestia blossoms fully.
4295420
Duh. Doesn't change the fact that they're gonna go ape shit when they see Celestia because until then, all Xenos they've seen are totally screwing over humans. Do you think they can comprehend that there's an exception?
4295450
The Emperor was 55,000 years old just prior to the Heresy. You sit here and make assumptions from the perspective of someone who is more than ten and less than forty, who is BUILT to not last much longer than one-hundred. The Emperor has the combined knowledge of those who were constantly reincarnated throughout Mankind's history from the Stone Age to beyond present day with all their experiences intact. He is literally the pinnacle evolution of Mankind, the most evolved and perfect biological specimen of humanity. Indeed, with enough time all of humanity is meant to become just like him. But even with that, he can make mistakes, and most of those made were not specifically his fault. He could not control his prognostication (nor could any psyker), so he could not know what was coming the times he had to make a judgement call, with a 50/50 chance, and ended up going the wrong direction. Even a being who is so beyond us as to be like a god, cannot know everything. Even the Old Ones, who created Mankind, and the Eldar (and their gods), and the Krorks, and (inadvertently) the Chaos Gods, and possibly the Tyranids, were blindsided by the C'tan Star Gods and the Enslavers. The Old Ones had technology that allowed them to fold and control the universe with mere quasi-impossible geometric shapes. And they were ambushed into near-oblivion by some transdimensional headcrabs.
So really, your argument doesn't hold water.
Thou are a spongeous god.
All hail the sponge!
He who build ship the size of the star!
4297238 You sir are my hero, also I am curious on how the god emperor met Celestia or why he likes her X3
My name is swimmingly.
There's gonna be something bitter beneath all this sweetness.
The moment it comes, all who appreciate it can simply say 'Easy come, easy go.'
4297600
To answer the second part of your question. I assume the GEoM cares for Celestia becasue she has succeded where he failed by successfully leading her people while still caring for them as her own children. He also sees a kindred spirit, someone who cares about those under her lead to the point where she would gladly die with a smile on her face to save even ONE of her ponies. Much as GEoM would do for all of humanity(heretics included).
4297611 well then
NOW THE REAL LOVIN' BEGINS!
I like to think that I am a bit more emotionally stable then that.
4295450
4296005
How about all of you just shut up, step back, and realize that you are arguing over something that is completely irrelevant to your lives.
4298001 what video?
4297900 It is not irrelevant if I enjoy it. And I really do enjoy annoying this one.
Few mistakes in this but it's still good.
This is turning out both hilarious and d'aww-worthy. I can't wait for the next chapter!
However...
People in the comments, I have one thing to say to you...
STOP CALLING HIM THE GOD-EMPEROR!!!
Seriously, knock it off. It's just not what he wants to be called, and you should respect The Emperor's wishes.
Or else.
4299529 No offense, but we don't(Or just I don't) know his real name. We can call him Emperor, but I don't think he would like that either.
4299867
Nah, it's just that I don't want the Big E pissed off. He's always hated being called that. Just look at what happened to Lorgar Pre-Heresy.
4297611 Interesting...
4291948 THE EMPEROR SPEAKS TO ME! THANK YOU, M'LORD! Wait… you approve of my idea?
Collapses from sheer squee
Zealot: Great Emperor, what do we do with that one?
The God Emperor is showing some weakness, eh? That's amazing… Ah, well. Now mankind might actually make some progress… bloody Forces of Chaos are too tough for me to beat in any of my games… might've been me being sloppy, but still...
For what it's worth, the giant clawed "hand" is a power gauntlet, not his actual hand.
Secondly, I expected massive canon deviance. Didn't get that.
I know Big E made some pretty huge errors in judgement in his time, but how on Earth does he think humanity will survive without him? Did he forget about the Astronomican or something? It's also a bit odd that he'd abandon mankind after thousands of years, especially after all that work he'd put in. The tools he needs are all there (the Space Marines, the people's undying loyalty), all he needs is to put the boot to the Ecclisiarchy and High Lords and put himself at the helm again.
The story is still shaping up to be pretty good, though. I want to see where it goes from here.
i59.tinypic.com/5dp0rb.jpg
D'aww. This is cute. I look forward to seeing how you ruin it.
4296852
YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL!!!!!!!
4303779
I already know that, but gauntlet seemed a bit awkward to write. Also, I'll try to stick as close to canon as possible for the God Emperor (barring his death and all that jazz, which is probably the only deviance).
4305247
I'll give PLENTY of reason for why he does this, don't worry about that. Like Celestia Uses An Online Dating Website, the chapters will most likely be shorter because of the biweekly update schedule, but I'll be sure to give a proper explanation and reason backing up the Emperor's decisions and behaviors, don't you worry about it.
4305455
I am tempted to use this art somehow...
4305477
It shall be glorious.
4296073
The Emperor of Mankind. ToM. Tom!
This sentence bought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
its physical trap
Somepony give this guy a raise!
Or a knighthood - they're cheaper in the long run.
Well, it would seem he forgot that he was the only thing preventing the warp from overlapping with reality. Also, what about the astronomican? I hope Celestia convinces him to return and fix his shit. At the very least, it is his responsibility to atone for his mistakes by fixing things and making up for them.
Heresy! No Xenos filth could gaze upon the glorious countenance of the Omnissiah without spontaneously combusting.
4543073 That and how terra would be immediately overrun by chaos the moment he died seeing as how the golden throne is the only ting keeping the web way shut. Of course we could complain about lore (WHY DID YOU FUCK UP THE LORE SO HORRIBLY! AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH!) or we could enjoy the story.
Wait the Emperor left humanity? HE FUCKING WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Goes into a blind panic involving many blammed guardsmen
Y'know, the Ecclesiarchy might burst a collective vein upon hearing their "God" Emperor not wanting to be called a deity, I can wholly respect that. He isn't perfect, nobody is, and he acknowledges that. In essence, he made the right choice leaving the collective crap-hole Humanity has become. I'm sure Magnus and Horus would appreciate it.