He's the God Emperor of Mankind, and she's Princess Celestia of Equestria. With these two dating, you can expect almost anything to happen. Hopefully Equestria survives their relationship in one piece...
The God Emperor of Mankind is in Equestria, and he's looking for love. Good thing for him that Celestia is looking for the same thing. The problem is that he's a warmongering immortal monarch, and she's a benevolent alicorn princess, so clearly they'll get along swimmingly. Here's hoping Equestria survives their relationship!
Luna knocked her hoof repeatedly against Celestia’s bedroom door, the noise of hoof banging against wood echoing down the castle’s empty halls. “Tia! Tia, please, come out of your room! You’ve been in there for days!”
“Go away, Lulu!” Celestia called out from the other side. “Leave me to wallow in my filth and what remains of my dignity!”
Luna stopped knocking and paused. “Sister, I know for a fact you’re the biggest neatfreak on the planet. Besides, you lost what little you had of your dignity long ago, back when those pictures leaked on the internet with you—”
Celestia opened her door and stuck her head out, a look of pure fury on her face. “Luna, I thought we promised never to mention that incident every again?”
“Yes, we did,” Luna replied, sticking her tongue out at her sister while squeezing herself through her doorway into Celestia’s room. “You should know by now I’m an awful promise keeper.”
Sighing as Luna shoved her way inside, Celestia slammed her door shut. “Well, not that you’re in my room, what exactly is your plan?” Celestia asked, her frown only deepening as Luna hopped into her bed. “Convince me to leave? Blackmail me somehow?”
“Nah. I was thinking I’ll just stay here until you finally spill the beans about what’s bothering you.”
Celestia scoffed. “You can’t seriously believe that I’ll just say what’s wrong if you just stay here long enough?”
Luna stretched and grunted, scrunching her body on Celestia’s sheets to get more comfortable in her bed. “Pretty much. I’m already comfortable. Now all we need to do is a waiting game.” Luna winked. “And this is coming from the mare who waited a thousand years to leave her imprisonment on the moon.”
“...Damnit.”
With a groan, Celestia climbed into bed as well, laying down next to her sister as both stared up at the ceiling. “Well, I have to begin this, I guess I should start by saying that I’ve been a bit… unhappy, as of late.”
“You don’t say?”
Celestia glanced at her sister. “The witty sarcasm isn’t helping, Luna.”
Luna shrugged. “Just trying to help break the mood with some humor, dear sister. But please, continue about what is bothering you.”
“Well, I just feel like I’m getting nowhere in life. Like I’m just drifting down a never ending river that I’ve traveled for hundreds of years now with no break in the lull of the monotony.”
“Wouldn’t the recent events of me returning, Discord’s return, the changeling invasion, and that incident with Sombra count as breaks?” Luna asked.
Celestia pouted, her cheeks filling with air before she released it in a half-hearted sigh. “I suppose. But the breaks I’m thinking about are more… related to me, that is.”
“A bit selfish now, Tia?” Luna snickered. “Where’s that generous spirit of yours?”
“Beaten into a bloody pulp by my selfishness,” Celestia replied dryly. “I mean, I do care about Equestria and my little ponies. They’re my top priority at all hours of the day and night. The thing is, because they’re my top priority, I have no time to think about myself. My needs. I’ve always put them to the side for the good of Equestria. But the thing is… I’m just tired of it.”
“Well, it’s to be expected, dear sister. No ruler can be a leader for so long before realizing they need to focus on themselves rather than their country every once in a while. Only way to stay sane, I suppose.” Flipping onto her stomach, Luna smiled at her sister. “So, what does Celestia feel like she deserves more than anything in the world for all the hard work that she’s done?”
Celestia’s pupils rose to her top of her eyes, her hooves tapping hesitantly together underneath her chin. “Weeeeeell… I guess someone to love wouldn’t hurt. It’s been so long since I’ve actually had someone I could call my own sweetheart.”
“But isn’t that why we put you on a dating website in the first place?” Luna asked. “Heck, I made you the bio and everything.”
Celestia rolled her eyes. “Ugh, don’t remind me. Luna, that site was a dead end from the start. There wasn’t one date I had that didn’t end in disaster or me getting physically or mentally injured.”
“Well, there was that one date…”
“I nearly died!” Celestia reminded her.
“I saved you, let’s not forget about that.”
“But still, I came closer to death than ever before on that date!” Celestia covered her face with her hooves and groaned. “Not to mention, my date just happened to be dead.”
“Well, from how you described him before, he was actually quite handsome,” Luna said, holding her head up with a hoof underneath her chin. “When he wasn’t decomposing that is. Ruggedly good looks, chiseled jaw, wavy hair, a body to die for, baby blue eyes like pools of sapphire that spoke to the very soul itself…”
“You’ve been reading my diary again, haven’t you?” Celestia declared, tackling Luna out of her bed and to the floor. “Where did you find it this time?”
Luna teleported out of her sister’s revenge driven hold, appearing on the other side of the room. “Taped behind the toilet seat, but it doesn’t matter! You had a good date for once, or at least potential suitor before it all went to Tartarus! Why don’t you call this guy again for a second one?”
“I can’t!”
“Nonsense, you’re a princess, of course you—”
“I just can’t, Luna,” Celestia replied sharply, her early anger giving way to despair. “I just… it just can’t happen.”
Noticing her sister’s hurt feelings, Luna stepped closer, but Celestia turned away from her, drawing closer to the balcony overlooking the castle below. “Sister…”
“Luna, he was more amazing than anyone I could possibly imagine,” Celestia whispered, her mane still flowing in the air even with no breeze to speak of. “In those few seconds we were together, I saw him for what he truly is. Beauty so great everything else paled within his presence, an intellect unmatched by even the greatest minds in the world, a cunning so resourceful it could build from nothing something so great it outshines all else, strength that could move mountains with just a push, and a pride for his people, his species, that held true even through the worse of events. It was like staring into perfection itself, Luna.” Celestia shivered. “And all I want to do now is wrap perfection in my hooves and never let go.”
“But sister, if he was to one to ask you on a date in the first place, can you not arrange a second?”
Celestia shook her head. “I wish it was that simple, Luna, but it is all for naught. He is of a different world. One much more violent, bloodier, grittier, and all around darker than our own. He needed me for my help, and I fear that is all he wanted me for.” Celestia shivered again, though in a much more disgusted and less lustful way than before. “Plus, in his current form, he’s still a mummified corpse, that will probably remain that way for who knows how long.”
“Well, that’s certainly a deal-breaker in any relationship.” Luna went to Celestia’s side and offered her the comfort of a one-winged hug, all while nuzzling her sister’s cheek affectionately. “But do not despair, dear sister, I am sure there is someone for you out there. All you have to do is wait and see.”
“But Luna, I am sick of waiting. I want that someone now,” Celestia said, her voice cracking. “I… I’ve waited for all my immortal life now, and still nothing! I thought at first I didn’t need someone in my life, but after these past few dates you’ve forced me on, I know now I must have someone at my side. I need someone. And no matter how long I wait, I just have to accept it won’t happen.”
“Tia, please, don’t be like that.”
“Be like what, Luna?” Celestia asked, pushing her sister away. “Be accepting in my cursed fate? Because I already accepted that long ago. Now I just had to be reminded of it again!”
“Sister—”
Celestia slammed her hoof on the floor, cutting Luna off. “Don’t sister me, Luna! If you hadn’t forced me on those dates in the first place, none of this would have happened. I would have just been compliant in my destiny to remain unloved!”
“Please, Tia—”
“I’m never going to have someone in my life! You know it, I know it, a pony with eyes knows it! Now just stop rubbing it in!”
Luna pressed her hoof against Celestia’s lips, ending her tirade before it reached peak supernova levels. “Sorry for the choice of words, Celestia, but would you shove a sock in it and just listen?”
Both sisters stood still, silent as can be. Surely enough, a sound could be heard. Like a piece of paper being torn apart. If that piece of paper was the universe, that is. Down below, in the castle grounds, a hole in the fabric of spacetime could be seen opening up, and with it energies from another dimension were dispersing into their world in an onslaught of power unlike anything the sister had ever seen before.
“...Well, that’s certainly different,” Luna remarked, leaning over the balcony railing to look at the newly made portal.
“Yes, quite so,” Celestia agreed.
After a few seconds of staring at the portal, Celestia and Luna locked eyes, both of theirs filled with fear and the appropriate amounts of sudden realization.
“We should probably check that out,” Luna said.
Celestia jumped off the railing, spreading out her wings to catch a breeze to ride all the way to the bottom of the tower. “Already ahead of you!”
Both sisters made a mad flying dash to the ground, landing before the open portal leading to whichever chaotic dimension it belonged to. The energies running rampant from it was like a bursting dam, destructive and sweeping away all in its path. Celestia and Luna could barely stand before it without kneeling a bit from its sheer power alone.
“Sister, what could it possibly be?” Luna asked, holding a hoof over her eyes so that dirt wouldn’t be kicked up into them.
Celestia gritted her teeth, taking a step closer. “I’m not sure!” she answered. “But… but it seems familiar!”
In fact, it was. That strange place, the plane between worlds, the space of existence that was both there and not there. There was where she met the God Emperor of Mankind. In a blackness filled with teeming chaos, fighting creatures of the most horrifying might in a never ending battle of wills, his entire existence being nothing but pain and an unknown sorrow that she still couldn’t put her hoof on.
Yes, she remembered what it was called. The Warp. A place where the God Emperor battled against the forces of Chaos each and every day, her best guess for doing so is to make sure they don’t harm his species.
Celestia drew nearer, an unexplainable urge making her go closer to the plane of endless chaos. Luna held out a hoof, shouting, “Sister, what are you doing? You’ll never survive what’s in there!”
“But Luna, he’s in there too!” Celestia shouted out.
“Tia, stop!”
Celestia ignored her sister’s pleas, insteading taking another step, and another, all for the purpose of being close to the Warp. And from this Warp, she could see a figure draw itself closer. A figure clad in gold armor of the finest degree, bathed in a light of holiness unlike any other.
The portal closed. From its remains stood him. The one Celestia had been pining over ever since she first laid eyes on him.
The God Emperor of Mankind stood as tall as a tree before the princesses, his head blocking out the sun. Looking down to Celestia, his hardened expression softened in an instant, a small smile that made Celestia’s heart melt appearing on his cheeks. “Ah, if it isn’t you.”
“Me?” Celestia asked, her voice filled with awe.
“Yes, you.” The God Emperor got down to one knee, allowing them to look somewhat eye to eye. “The one who helped save me. Celestia, Princess of Equestria. It’s been a long time.”
“But that only happened a week ago,” Celestia said.
He chuckled, his voice that of honeysuckle and dew-covered roses. “For you, it might be. But in my world, or universe, rather, time runs much differently than your own. But that doesn’t mean I forget the service you fulfilled for me, and the debt I swore to keep to you.”
“Okay… I’m a bit on the confused side here,” Luna mentioned. Neither Celestia or the God Emperor paid much mind to her, however, much to Luna’s chargin.
“Please, Mister God Emperor, it was no trouble, really.” Celestia blushed, becoming flustered just looking into his eyes. “I-I was just helping you out is all.”
“Ah, but it was no mere help you imparted unto me, my dear. For what you did saved countless trillions of lives all across the galaxy. Both myself and all of mankind cannot thank you enough.”
“Um, hell, guys, still lost here!” Luna shouted.
Celestia’s face only grew redder. “R-really, it was nothing. D-did you say… trillions of lives?”
He smirked, nodding his head. “Yes. With your power, I managed to fight off the forces of Chaos that much longer. What you have done is a greater service than anyone has ever done for me before. Mankind cannot thank you enough for your deed in its survival.”
“You know what, forget it!” Luna turned around, waving goodbye to the pair. “Enjoy the lovey-dovey eyes! I sure don’t!”
“If that’s true, then why did your guards try to kill me?” Celestia asked. “And why aren’t you with your people now?”
The Emperor sighed, a sigh so deep with grief that Celestia couldn’t help but frown. “The reasons for that is a story I do not think you would enjoy hearing, but I suspect would like to know nonetheless.” Getting back up to two feet, he asked, “Perhaps a story you wouldn’t mind hearing over a cup of coffee?”
“You’re… seriously asking me out on a date?”
The God Emperor chuckled, shrugging his ridiculously large shoulder pads. “Hey, I didn’t get to call you like you wanted me to. I’m thinking this could make up for it.”
Coughing into her hoof while regaining back her regal aurora, Celestia lead the way to the nearest cafe they could reach. “We’ll see,” Celestia said, “but make sure to throw in a crumpet or two with that cup of coffee to sweeten the deal.”
“I’ll be sure to,” the God Emperor agreed with a laugh.
The God Emperor looked up from his piping hot coffee, all the ponies in the cafe instantly turning their heads away and trying to look like they weren’t staring. Many of the ponies that hadn’t calmly walked or run for their lives out of the cafe stared at the two with jaws hung agape or looks of pure disbelief. Smiling wryly, the Emperor nodded his head, picking his cup up with his large, clawed hand. “I suppose you are right, my dear.”
Celestia smiled as well, though her’s was of a more nervous variety. After the Emperor’s appearance at the castle, Celestia had taken him to the local cafe down the street. It was quaint shop, which made a pretty mean cup of joe to boot, and was currently the site for a date between two of the most powerful beings in the galaxy.
Celestia’s mind was abuzz with questions. What the Emperor’s world, or rather, universe was like, what was his past, why his followers tried to kill her on the spot, why he was sort of dead when she last met him, or what his real name was. But all she could manage was a couple of nervous glances to his stunning features and sips of her coffee, her words failing her to first date jitters. Well, it technically counted as their second date, but this was their first one without Celestia’s life on the line.
The God Emperor folded his leg over his thigh, how he was able to manage such a feat while wearing such constrictive armor Celestia didn’t know. Celestia had to magically enhance his seat so his great weight wouldn’t crush it underneath him, but even then he looked a bit on the ridiculous side sitting in a chair that looked like it was made for a child compared to his massive size.
“So, Princess Celestia, you’re probably wondering about my abrupt appearance into your world,” the Emperor began.
Celestia nodded, hiding a smile behind her cup. “It isn’t every day a portal from another dimension opens up at my doorstep, especially with such a strapping—I mean, um… pleasant surprise such as yourself.”
Grinning at the blush on Celestia’s cheeks, the God Emperor nodded his head. “Yes, it was quite a surprise for me too. Though not in the way you’d think. I fully believe I should be dead right now, rather than talking with you over cups of coffee.”
“Dead?” Celestia asked, arching a brow. “But how? You seem perfectly fine to me.”
“Well, technically I was dead. I’m just not anymore.” Catching Celestia’s perplexed look, the Emperor held up a hand. “Allow me to explain. Before I arrived in your world, I had died. My body’s life had finally come to an end, meaning my soul was free from its physical trap on the golden throne in the palace.”
“But wait, wasn’t the reason you needed me in the first place was so that you wouldn’t die?” Celestia tapped her chin, wracking her brain. “That cultist, he said the plan was to rejuvenate you. And I saw it! The moment I donated most of my magic to you, your body started healing. Well, it was going at an incredibly slow rate, but still, I thought for sure your body would repair itself.”
The Emperor sighed, shaking his head slowly. A dark shadow seemed to pass over his majestic features, clouding them of their earlier radiance so that only a dullness remained. “That was never the plan, Celestia. I knew I would die someday. My own mistakes had caused mankind to nearly fall on the brink of annihilation, even after everything I did to make sure it excelled. Even when on the golden throne my err of judgement cost humanity much strife and pain. The own people became mere slaves to a cult that worshiped me like a god. People were ruled by fear and death, while those vile in heart became rulers of the torn fragments of the once glorious Imperium of Man.” The God Emperor gritted his teeth, his clawed fist closing tightly and shaking. Now the dullness became a razor sharpness that enhanced his features to those of pure rage. Already from where she was, Celestia could sense the anger that was bubbling inside the Emperor’s heart. A fury that could start and end galaxy-spanning wars, destroy entire planets beneath its power, and even battle with the gods themselves.
Celestia slid her chair over to the Emperor’s side, and laid a single hoof on his knee. Looking up to him while he looked down to her, Celestia smiled, patting him fondly. “There, there, no need to get upset. This is a date, remember? Just relax, and I assure you, everything will be alright.”
The Emperor’s anger fizzled out beneath Celestia’s touch, a momentary perplexed look lighting his eyes. Shaking his head, a bitter smile formed on his lips, though he still glanced at Celestia with a fondness in his eyes.
“You are right, Celestia. Thank you for reminding me that. Even if my people once worshiped me as a god, I am far from perfect.”
“No one is perfect. We can just be the best we possibly can. Even as an immortal myself, I know there is still much to learn and do in my lifespan.” Celestia picked up her cup with her magic, and took a few meager sips as she returned to her side of the table.
“Truly, your wisdom is only second to your beauty, my dear,” the Emperor said, nearly causing Celestia to spit out her coffee as her face turned a bright red. Chuckling mildly, the Emperor relaxed in his seat. “Though now, I guess that’s all behind me. The world I once knew had changed drastically from when I last ruled it hands on. And now, I’ll never get the chance to again.”
“You mean, you can’t return?”
“I mean, I choose not to return,” the Emperor answered.
Celestia’s eyes widened, and her mouth hung open. “But… but they’re your people! How can you abandon them like that!”
“How can I not?” The God Emperor rested a hand on the table, nearly making it break in two. “Because of my own blindness I allowed mankind to be corrupted by the forces of Chaos. Then for 10,000 years it lived in a period of technological stagnation and intellectual repression by a fear mongering cult that sullied my name to spread terror among my own people.”
“But that doesn’t mean you just abandon them like that. Do you not care for them at all?”
“That is exactly why I choose not to return. Mankind must learn to survive on its own, without me. All I brought it was trouble and failure. Only a man can rule mankind.” The Emperor closed his eyes, sighing deeply. He opened them again, lifting up his golden, clawed hand and staring at it dully. “And I am no man.”
“Mister God Emperor, please—”
“Never call me a ‘God’ again, Celestia,” the Emperor snapped. His expression softened as he saw the hurt in Celestia’s eyes. “Just… please, don’t. I can handle others using such a term for me, but even if I’m not a man, I am no god either. I don’t want you using it because I don’t want you to see me as one.”
“I don’t,” Celestia said, looking into his eyes. “All I see is someone with regret in their hearts and pain in their past. But beneath that, there is someone with a heart that genuinely wants love and peace.” Celestia touched her own chest, right above her heart. “A heart I can relate to.”
A faint smile sprouted on the Emperor’s lips. “And me as well, my dear.”
A silence fell over the two, one enthralled with the other, these two beings of power and strength stuck in their own little world.
That is, until a waiter appeared at their table, drenched in sweat while his knees shook like a tree in a hurricane. His attention was focused solely on the God Emperor, who stared down at him with alien eyes and a physique so terrifying the waiter had to force himself with great pain even to approach them. “S-sorry to interrupt y-you t-t-two,” he stuttered, his teeth clattering together, “but all the o-other patrons h-have left, and we d-don’t want to go out of b-b-business, so…” He winced, running out of the empty cafe as fast as his hooves could take him. “Oh, please don’t kill me, I’m too young to die!”
As the two of them watched the waiter flee for his life, Celestia said, “Maybe we should go somewhere else for our date? Perhaps somewhere with a less likely chance of a ponies running away just at the sight of us?”
“You lead the way, my dear,” the Emperor agreed, getting out of his seat.
Walking past him, Celestia bumped against his knee, looking up and smiling. “And maybe you’ll finally spill the beans at how you managed to die and come back again, hmm?”
The Emperor winked to her, following Celestia out of the cafe with a duck of his head at the front door. “Perhaps. Only if you reveal to me the secrets of this Equestrian way of making coffee. On Terra, never have I tasted such a wonderful brew.”
“I think I can manage that,” Celestia said, giggling like a school-filly with the God Emperor following behind her like a giant, gold-plated shadow.
“I really must say, these treats are delicious,” the Emperor praised, stuffing another cupcake down his gullet with great haste. His jaws had barely finished consuming its sweet flavor before a new one was thrown in as well, meeting much of the same fate as the first.
Celestia smiled, using her magic to pick up a napkin and wipe away a smudge of icing that was on the God Emperor’s flawless cheek. “Nopony in Equestria can cook a cupcake quite like Pinkie Pie, that’s for sure.”
“And speaking about Pinkie Pie and cupcakes, guess who has the second batch done?” Pinkie appeared between the two, a tray of freshly baked cupcakes balanced precariously on the tip of her nose. “And I added extra sprinkles to this pair, just like you wanted!” Pinkie said, setting the tray down and trotting away with a bounce in her step and hum in her voice.
The God Emperor smirked, already grabbing another delectably sweet, pink cupcake with the claws of his gauntlet armored hand.
“It is interesting how that pink one isn’t terrified at my appearance,” the Emperor said, popping the first cupcake in his mouth. “Thus far every Equestrian I’ve seen other than you and your sister had a look of pure terror in their eyes. But this Pinkie had no such fear.” Chuckling, the Emperor shook his head. “In fact, far from it, she seemed happy.”
“That’s Pinkie Pie for you. From what my student, Twilight Sparkle, has said about the mare, she’s just about the nicest and most friendly pony you’ll ever meet.” Smiling gleefully, Celestia raised a hoof to their private table, covered in assorted sweets and treats all specially made for the two in the colorful bakeshop. “She even got the entire bakery empty just for us to continue our date.”
“That’s mighty generous of her,” the Emperor agreed. “What interests me even more is how you managed to get us here so quickly.”
“It was a simple teleportation spell,” Celestia said, waving her hoof passively. “Really, it was no big deal.”
The Emperor chuckled, licking a stray sprinkle off his lip. “Oh, but it is. You did it all without the Warp or technology. That itself in an accomplishment I thought I’d never bear witness to see.”
“Oh yes, the Warp…” Celestia perked up and looked up to the Emperor’s eyes, her own widening in an adorable manner. “Would it trouble you to tell me about it? I just find everything about your world fascinating.”
The God Emperor’s earlier good cheer disappeared in but a moment, his hand stopping in its descent for the next cupcake. His lips were hard-pressed together, his expression solemn and losing much of its illumination. In fact, his entire form seemed to become dimmer, like a lamp running out of oil.
“The Warp… isn’t a pleasant place,” he said slowly, his honeysuckle voice now gravely and dull.
Alarmed, Celestia reached out and held his monstrously huge hand with a hoof, her own appendage dwarfed by his. “Look, Emperor, I’m sorry if I’ve troubled you. I never meant to.”
Looking down at her, he smiled faintly, nodding his head and patting her hoof gently with a single finger. “I know, Celestia, I know. It is not your fault. It is my own for being trapped in such a dismal place for the better part of ten millenniums.”
“I still can’t believe you were stuck there for over 10,000 years,” Celestia whispered softly, remembering her own experience in the other plane of existence. Just pure, unfiltered chaos, all the time and never ending in its voidless form. And then, those figures in the blackness, filled with such vile darkness and malicious intents she still got a cold sweat just thinking about them. “How did you survive?”
“The answer to that is an even more unpleasant explanation than the Warp.”
Celestia’s head lowered, dejected, her ears drooping down as well. Noticing her disappointment, the Emperor frowned, the usual brightness and good cheer from the princess blotted out like a cloud blocking the sun.
“Look, Celestia, I…” The God Emperor’s usual facade of utmost confidence and sophistication fell apart for just a second. In his eyes, Celestia saw a look of utter terror. Horror and fear stacked up year upon year, century upon century, all adding up to ten of thousands of years in living in complete and utter fright. yet beneath at that was a heart more courageous than Celestia had ever known, brave enough to fight this fear and overcome it, even as it grows more stronger with each day. “We technically just met, and there are many things I have not told you yet because I think it’d be better for us to get to know each other first. In time, yes, I will tell you about the Warp and my experience in it. But now isn’t the right time for it. You understand?”
Celestia nodded. The God Emperor’s eyes once again shined their usual confidence, full of resolved vigor. But Celestia knew there was something deeper to those eyes, and the man that used them.
“Well, if you can’t tell me about the Warp, can you at least explain to me how you managed to die and come back to life again?” Celestia asked, leaning closer over the table. “Is it like the same process of a phoenix? My pet, Philomena, often does this.”
“Wow, so in this world, phoenixes aren’t myths. Who would’ve thought?” The Emperor chuckled dryly under his breath, going back to gorge himself on another cupcake. “In a way, yes, it is like a phoenix. My body reincarnates upon my death. Except this time, it wasn’t supposed to come back. In fact, I was destined to fade away, my spirit lost to the Warp upon my death.”
“But why wasn’t it?” Celestia asked.
The Emperor looked to her, and winked. “That’d be you, my dear.”
“Me?”
He nodded. “Yes. When you granted me the gift of your magic. It not only prolonged my life somewhat, it also granted me the gift of a new life upon my death.”
“But… but how is that possible?” Celestia shook her head slowly, her lips pouted together. “My magic shouldn’t be able to bring someone back to life!”
“Not magic, my dear.” The God Emperor held up his palm, and in the center of it, an orb of golden light began to form. The energy radiating from it was unlike anything Celestia had ever witnessed before.”But something much more different.”
“What is it?” Celestia whispered, leaning closer to stare at the orb of light.
“Psychic energy. One of the most powerful substances in the world.” Closing his hand into a fist to kill the light, the Emperor smiled to her. “Would you like to see more?”
Celestia smiled as well, her horn basking in a golden light much like the one he had just radiated. “Only if you’d like to see a magic show of my own.”
“I’d be glad to,” he agreed.
“What?” Pinkie bellowed from the kitchen, flying through the door at a breakneck speed. “Princess Celestia is gonna do a magic show? I gotta alert the town!” Before either immortal could correct her, Pinkie was off, leaving only a dust cloud behind her.
“This type of event occur often?” the God Emperor asked.
“More often than you’d think.”
Looking back to the tray of cupcakes, the Emperor shrugged and picked up another baked good to consume. “At least the cupcakes make up for it, thankfully.”
“That is quite the crowd the pink one managed to amass in such a short amount of time,” the God Emperor commented, rubbing his chin. “Does she have time-bending powers of some sort?”
“Oh, don’t be silly,” Celestia assured him. “Only unicorns can do that. Though it does tend to blow up in your face in a paradox…”
“All it does in blow up in your face in my world.” The Emperor glanced at Celestia and winked, his infectious smile making her lips perk up as well.
Starting back to the crowd, the entire plaza in the center of town was filled with the citizens of Ponyville, all drawn together in front of Sugarcube Corner. After news had spread about an alien creature performing a magic show with the princess herself, ponies from all around gathered to witness the amazing spectacle.
Bouncing with an endless energy about her, Pinkie Pie appeared between the two menacing powerhouses and raised a megaphone to her lips. “Welcome mares and gentlecolts, to the first ever Ponyville Magic Show! Featuring, Princess Celestia and...” Pinkie hopped on the Emperor’s shoulder, taking care to avoid any spikes from his shoulder pads, “The God Emperor of Mankind!”
The Emperor turned his head to her, only for his eyes to widen momentarily in surprise at her disappearance. Glancing back down, Pinkie was in her previous position, shouting to the crowd of onlookers.
“How did she know my name?” the Emperor whispered to Celestia.
Celestia merely shrugged, tapping her hoof knowingly. “I’ve asked my student, Twilight Sparkle about it several times, but even to her that mare is a mystery.”
“Is your student here today?”
Peering into the crowd, Celestia perked up, waving to a purple pony making her way through the mass of pony bodies. “Oh, there she is! Twilight, Twilight, I want you to meet someone!”
Once the ponies in the crowd knew that Twilight was nearby, they instantly parted for her, the alicorn mare trotting at a relaxed pace towards the duo. The Emperor noticed that she too had wings and a horn, apparently royalty indicators along with evident showcases of how power a pony is magic wise. Since Twilight’s horn was shorter than Celestia’s own, the Emperor guessed she was less powerful than her teacher.
“Princess Celestia! It’s so good to see you visiting Ponyville on such a fine day!” Twilight greeted her teacher, the two embracing momentarily. Taking a long glance at the Emperor, which was needed since it took her a good ten seconds for her eyes to reach from his feet to his head. “Oh, and is this your friend?”
“Date, actually,” Celestia said, her white cheeks blushing a shade redder.
“Date?” Twilight’s neck craned once more to properly take in the Emperor’s size. “With… with him? Is he even a pony?”
“Actually, I’m a man.” The God Emperor’s smile faltered for a short moment. “Or, well, I used to think I was.”
“How did you two even meet?” Twilight asked, her eyes glancing between the two over and over again.
Celestia scratched the back of her neck, her blush becoming more prominent now. “Ah, well, we actually met on an online dating website…”
“While I was still in a state between life and death on my golden throne.”
“In which I helped him stay alive for a prolonged period of time after donating some of my magic to him.”
“In which I was reincarnated after my eventual death.”
“To stay here, in Equestria, with me,” Celestia said, her face positively red now. “I-I mean, not specifically with me, in the castle. We’ve only just started dating, after all. Taking things slow. I suppose I can get a servant to prepare a guest room—”
“Celestia, my dear, please, it’s fine,” the Emperor assured her, bending down on one knee and patting her neck. “I’m okay with staying wherever you deem is appropriate.”
Celestia’s eyes closed and a blissful smile spread out on her cheeks, the patting of her neck with the Emperor’s surprisingly gentle hand an absolute dream. That dream was soon shattered by the awkward cough of Twilight Sparkle, who was obviously trying to look as if she wasn’t paying too much attention to the couple.
“Well, I’ll be hanging out with my friends then,” Twilight said, pointing a hoof back to several other mares waving to her. “But after the magic show, we all should really catch up! It was great talking to you, Mister God Emperor, and you too, Princess Celestia!”
As Twilight trotted away to rejoin her group of friends, the Emperor said, “How strange it is that she didn’t even flinch at my appearance. Even most of the ponies of this town seem largely unaffected.”
“The ponies of Ponyville have seen many a strange sight over the years. Nothing they couldn’t handle, of course, but after the daily occurrences of the strange and benign turning up at their doorstep, they have remained amazingly resilient to terrifying foreign factors, and even stay resolute as a close-knit community that help and support one another.” Staring up at him with a sheepish grin, Celestia added, “Plus, I’m your entourage. That pretty much guarantees that you’re not some freaky monster about to munch on their faces.”
“Oh please now, munching on faces is too barbaric for one such as myself.” Holding his fist before himself like he had something trapped in his hand, the Emperor made a biting motion and said, “Now, legs, that’s where the good meat is at.”
Celestia stifled a giggle, only to be momentarily knocked on her rump by the force of Pinkie’s megaphone voice blast. “Okay, are the contestants ready?”
“Ready for what?” the Emperor asked, using one of the claws on his gauntlet to dig into his damaged eardrum from Pinkie’s powerful yelling.
“Why, the magic show, of course! Whoever puts on the best performance gets the prize of a super-triple-quadruple-double-decker chocolate ice cream cake with hot fudge filling and an entire layer of sprinkles and whipped cream on top!” Pinkie licked her lips, saliva practically flowing like a river from her mouth. “Not to mention icing.”
Looking over the crowd of ponies, most who were cheering for a performance to commence, the Emperor chuckled lightly and crossed his arms. “Well, well, quite the publicity stunt that pink one managed to pull. Ingenius, I have to admit.”
“Plus, a good round of fun, don’t you think?” Celestia asked, a confident smile on her face.
The Emperor flashed his own smartly grin. “Oh, you know it. It’s gonna be a treat winning that chocolate cake all to myself.”
The two were now circling each other, the crowd at a respectful distance to look on in anticipation. Power energies could be sensed filling the air, making it spark and fuzz like the two were traveling through a static sea of power.
“So confident so soon that you’ll win it, Emperor?” Celestia asked, her eyes glowing a light golden hue.
The Emperor’s eyes flashed bright blue, a golden aurora covering his armor. “It’s not confidence, my dear, it’s knowing a firm fact. That fact being that when a cake made from Pinkie Pie is on the line, I know I’m going to win it.”
“Excellent,” Celestia whispered, her horn shining a radiant light as magic poured out of her. “I like a confident man.”
“I like a confident woman.”
Celestia grinned. “Then let’s see who’s more confident!” she shouted, letting her power set forth a tidal wave of magic.
The God Emperor lifted up his gauntlet bound hand, the claw sparking with the fires of psychic might flowing through them. “Yes, let’s!”
“Ooooooooh man, this gone be good!” Pinkie said, standing off to the side while munching on some popcorn from her bag.
The God Emperor and Celestia met together in a clash of power energies clashing against one another. The ponies in the crowd awed and ooed, completely entranced by the rare yet amazing spectacle before them. Both of the contestants were using their powers to force the other to concede, the force of wills a standstill as the Emperor’s psychic energies dueled against Celestia’s magic in the form of force-fields that wouldn’t let up.
“So, you think your magic has a chance against my psychic powers, huh?” the Emperor asked, pushing his wall of power against Celestia’s own, forcing her back a step.
Wincing, Celestia scowled, a smile still clear and bright on her face as she pushed the Emperor back as well. “Not just a chance. A full blown advantage.”
The two broke apart, their collective energies hovering in blue and gold sparks that slowly fell to the ground. The ground was shaking from their collective might, the air filled with a hum that seemed to shimmer in the light.
Grinning, the God Emperor held up his claw to the heavens. “Then let us see how far this advantage shall take you, my dear!” A bolt of lightning fell from a now darkened sky, nailing his gauntlet directly so that the electrical sparks that flowed forth across his arm turned a brilliant blue. Closing his claw into a fist, the sparks dissipated into an electrical discharge that surrounded the God Emperor in a blinding light of sparks and bolts of lightning, earning him a loud cheer of approval from the audience.
Celestia scoffed, dusting her shoulder off nonchalantly. “Is that what you call power, Mister Emperor? I’ve seen better stuff from a foal.” Celestia’s horn shined so bright that it took on the intensity of the sun for a moment, causing all but the God Emperor to look away. As the power kept on building up, flames licked Celestia’s hooves as an inferno formed beneath her. Before too long, an entire tornado of pure flames formed around her, turning the ground immediately near her into lava while ponies all around backed away to avoid the extreme heat. “Now this is how far my advantage shall take me, my dear!”
Holding a hand above his eyes, the God Emperor chuckled, nodding his head. “Impressive, impressive indeed. You’d put any space marine out there to shame.” The Emperor’s playful smile turned into a full blown smirk as he swept his crimson cape over his chest, the entirety of it transforming into a billowing fire. “But I am no mere space marine!”
The flaming cape surrounded the Emperor in a halo of light, outclassing Celestia’s fiery tornado as the clouds parted from overhead and the sun itself shined down upon him. The God Emperor levitated in the air, the field of flames surrounding him only growing brighter and more spectacular by the second.
“For I am the Emperor of Mankind!” he bellowed, withdrawing his massive fire sword from its sheath. The intensity of light now was almost unbearable, yet it was so beautiful no one in the crowd and not even Celestia herself could look away. “Leader of the Imperium of Man, Ruler of the Golden Throne, and Father and Guardian to All of Humanity!” He pointed his sword directly up to the sky, a ray of sunshine reflecting off the fire-induced blade. The entirety of the Emperor was covered in light, the man himself appearing like a Sun God of the most fiery wrath who has come down to bestow his judgement on mortals. “And I have won this contest!”
The Emperor’s blinding radiance briefly turned supernova, then dissipated into a field of light that spread out over the sky like a storm, destroying the clouds that had gathered in one fail swoop. He came descending to the ground like a comet, touching down in a cloud of dust that did nothing to dull the radiance surrounding his entire body like the sun itself was was his heart.
Celestia and just about everypony in the crowd were stunned, jaws hanging low to the ground in utter astonishment. Her magical tornado of fire disappeared in an instant, Celestia’s wings drooping to the ground in an admittance of defeat.
“That was… that was amazing,” Celestia whispered, her eyes moving from the sky to the Emperor and back again. “How did you even manage to do that? The energy itself was far beyond anything I could ever imagine.”
“It is the presence of the Warp that guides my powers. Unlike your magic, the power that I use is from a source that is endless as it is all powerful, a literally endless supply of psychic energies to draw from,” the Emperor explained, returning his blade to its rightful place. “I only used a small source of that power, however. I did not want to turn this town or your ponies into a burning crater, after all.”
“Wow, so much different than magic,” Celestia noticed, tapping a chin to her hoof as she inspected the glow on the Emperor’s golden armor. “For us magic users, the power comes from us alone, no outside sources. Although…”
The God Emperor arched a brow. “Yes?”
Celestia smiled, her horn once more powering up for a new spell. “I bet your psychic powers can’t do this.”
The spell came into effect in an instant, flashes of light and puffs of smoke appearing here and there among the crowd of ponies. From where there was once a hedge now stood a chocolate cake three ponies high. A fountain nearby with a statue spurting out water was now producing fruit punch instead. And from a chariot appeared a fully automated carriage with surround sound speakers and extra large cupholders.
The God Emperor stood dumbfounded, holding a clawed hand to his head as he stared at the changes Celestia made with wide eyes. “You… you completely changed those objects?”
“That’s correct,” Celestia replied, a smug grin clear on her face.
“And not just teleported and replaced them with something else?”
“Nope. I changed each and every one of them with magic.”
“How interesting.” The Emperor’s astonishment took a quick turn into fascination, his keen eyes inspecting the changed objects with a careful scrutiny. “It appears the entire molecular makeup of the objects changed and were replaced to form these new objects. The science behind achieving such a feat are astounding and would require the most complex technologies mankind has to offer, yet you managed to do it all by yourself, and all with magic as well. Utterly amazing.”
“It’s not too much of a big deal,” Celestia said, a slight blush on her cheeks. “I mean, the spell to turn water into fruit punch is one even a foal could learn.”
The Emperor winked to her. “But still, to me, it is fascinating, which you fascinating as well, my dear.” Reaching out a hand to her, he asked, “How about we call this a draw?”
“A draw?” Celestia asked, a devious look on her face. “And before you seemed to confident.”
The Emperor shrugged, his smile growing wider. “Well, I have to keep some fair face by not conceding to you altogether. So please, my dear, show mercy on me.”
Humming under her breath, Celestia nodded and shook her hoof with the Emperor’s hand. “Well, I am known for being merciful. Plus, you’re much too cute to say no too.”
“I could say the same thing.”
As Celestia’s blush grew a shade of red darker, Pinkie Pie dropped out of nowhere, throwing confetti and ribbons everywhere. “Princess Celestia and the Geom are the winners! That means both of them get the prize!”
“Prize!” Celestia cried out, already licking her lips.
“Geom?” the Emperor asked, scratching his head while arching a brow.
“Short for the God Emperor of Mankind, silly-head,” Pinkie said, already attaching a party hat to his head while situated on his shoulder. She slide down his arm like a slide, giggling all the way down.
Sighing, the Emperor poked his tiny hat that was extremely disproportionate to the rest of his massive body. “Well, I have been called worse…”
“Oh come now, I think it sounds cute,” Celestia said, following Pinkie back to the bake shop. “So, Geom, you ready for some cake? Better hurry up, because I get extra hungry after a victory.”
Smiling, the Emperor ducked beneath the doorway and joined the mares for some justly earned cake. “Yep, I’ve definitely been called worse. Although, with someone as beautiful such as yourself saying it, I think I can get used to it.”
The Emperor laughed, Pinkie joining in with her own giggling as Celestia’s blush covered her entire face in a field of red.
Celestia and Luna walked side by side down the empty castle halls, nodding to the occasional guard they passed by who performed a curt bow to their co-rulers. Soft rays of sunshine from the setting sun streaked through the stained glass windows situated against the hallway walls, casting a dull, golden colored illumination upon the pair.
“Well, dear sister, you’re looking quite regal for the Grand Galloping Gala preparations,” Luna mentioned. Luna arched a brow at the extra accessories added onto her sister’s appearance: extra eye shadow, red blush, bright crimson lipstick, a gown of the finest satin red that hugged her sides generously, and her mane dolled up into a ponytail that caused many an eye to stare at with astonishment.
“Oh, all I added was a touch or two of make-up. No big deal,” Celestia said, a small smirk brightening her face.
Luna tapped Celestia’s side with her shoulder and grinned. “Oh really? It wouldn’t have anything to do with Mister God Emperor of Mankind, would it?”
Celestia’s cheeks blushed even redder than they already were. “Geom? He’s just a guest is all.”
“A guest who just happens to be your date?”
“Well… uh…” Celestia bit her lip and turned the corner before Luna could spot the shadow of doubt in her eyes.
Luna hurried to her side, brushing the tips of her wing along Celestia’s back. “Tia, you haven’t even asked him yet?”
“Well… I’ve been busy is all.” Celestia shook her head slowly. “A-and with running the country and all of my other duties, I just haven’t had the time.”
Luna blocked Celestia’s way, looking at her sister with a disapproving frown. “Sister, sister, sister, I expected better from you. You’re over a thousand years old, and you still can’t even ask a guy out to a dance?”
“Hey, you’ve never asked a guy out either!” Celestia pointed out.
“That’s neither here nor there. Geom has been living in the castle for the past two weeks, and all the two of you have done is go out for coffee or walks through the park. And now you have the perfect shot at a truly romantic date with him, and you won’t even take it?”
Celestia shuffled her hooves, looking everywhere but her sister’s eyes. “I want to, Luna, I truly do. I’m just, well, how do I put this?”
“Scared?” Luna guessed.
Celestia snorted. “Scared? Of Geom? Heaven’s no, he’s one of the nicest, sweetest men I’ve ever met. I could never be scared of him.”
“From what I’ve heard of Twilight in Ponyville, he unleashed a power that outshines even you, dear sister.”
Celestia frowned. “I am not scared of his power, Luna, because I know he’ll never use it on me. I trust him, so I respect rather than fear him.”
“Then instead you fear what he’ll say perhaps?”
Celestia didn’t speak, instead, her head and ears drooping downward. That was all the answer Luna needed.
Taking a step forward, Luna lifted Celestia’s chin up with the tip of her wing. “Sister, you know that of course he’ll say yes if you ask him to accompany you to the Gala, right?”
“I do know that, Luna. I’m just not sure what else he’ll say…”
Luna titled her head, ears perked up. “Whatever could you mean?”
Celestia sighed. Her eyes shifted to the window, where the light of the sun upon the stained glass caused a rainbow pattern to fall on the floor. There, she stared for several seconds, the light becoming dimmer as time went on.
“Luna, I find Geom fascinating. The way he walks, talks, thinks, and even the way he looks, it all seems so… so… so perfect. Like he really is a god he proclaims himself not to be. Yet there’s something else behind that beauty and kindness. Something I’m not sure I want to see.” Celestia gulped, her eyes downcast. “He still hasn’t told me anything about his world. Not because he doesn’t want to, but because I don’t have the heart to ask him. After his performance at Ponyville, all I could remember was him in that dark void, fighting those monsters. Fighting them for 10,000 years, he told me. And I keep on asking myself why? Why did he fight these horrors, why doesn’t he return back to his people, who does he instead choose to remain here?”
“Yet you can’t ask him yourself?” Luna shook her head. “Celestia, do you fear his answers?”
Celestia nodded.
“Dear sister, your relationship with Geom cannot last unless you have it in your heart to grow closer to him. I’m sure he wants to open up to you, yet you yourself have to take the effort to reach out. If you truly believe that you two have a chance, then you’ll do it.”
Celestia’s head stayed low for a moment or two longer, but then her neck rose up so that Celestia’s smile met Luna’s own. “When did my little sister become so wise?”
“Romance novels, dear sister,” Luna said, turning around to trot onward. “Read a few dozen of those, and you understand this type of stuff in a cinch.”
“I would like to think that my relationship with a near god-like entity why I myself am an immortal alicorn princess is a bit more complex than what you’d typically find in a romance novel,” Celestia said, returning to her sister’s side.
Luna chuckled mildly. “Oh, Celestia, next to teen paranormal vampire romances, your relationship is one of the most clichéd.”
The God Emperor sat in his room, crossed-legged in its center. His eyes were closed and his breathing even and tempo with the beatings of his heart. He had no need for air anymore, but the action allowed him to easily slip into meditation.
As the universe spun in its perpetual motion around him, the Emperor was an unmoving island in the sea of existence. As the waves of Chaos broke and crashed against his shores, he stood tall in his eternal fortitude, never giving way to the all the storms the Warp had to offer.
Here was the prison he had spent the better part of ten millennia. Trapped in his undying battle against the forces of Chaos, he fought on a daily basis their gods, standing tall before the most vile and malicious power in the galaxy. He never gave way, lost ground, or even gave the merest hint of surrender against the Chaos Gods.
Yet even that was not enough to stop them.
Opening only his eye in the void of the most maddening darkness, the Emperor spotted the horrors that Chaos has caused. The Imperium of Man was broken and scattered, humans fighting on the very edge of extinction just to survive. Chaos never let up, throwing everything it had to stamp out one of the last forces of resistance against them.
However, even though the assault against the Imperium was relentless and the odds hopeless, mankind never gave up. In fact, they pushed against the forces of Chaos with equal levels of ferocity, mankind’s drive to survive a will that not even the mightiest Chaos Gods could shatter. The Emperor may have left mankind to stand on its own when he had died, but that did not mean mankind itself lost the will to live. In fact, with him gone, the Emperor noticed something new in his subjects.
A new reason to survive, perhaps?
The Emperor’s concentration was broken, however, before he could determine this answer. A knock at his door was the reason, so the Emperor got up to answer the door.
Celestia was there to greet him, looking positively resplendent in the most royal way possible. “Why hello there, Geom,” Celestia said.
The God Emperor bowed low to one knee, head now at eye level with the princess. “And a hello to you too, your majesty. Might I say you look quite ravishing this evening.”
Celestia’s blush spread all across her face and threatened to turn redder than even her lipstick. “Why thank you. Kind words from you are always a pleasure.”
“But not as much as a pleasure to give them, my dear.”
Celestia giggled, her laugh ringing like silver bells. “Oh wow, keep this up and you’ll have to be renamed the Emperor of Flattery from now on.”
The Emperor smirked, returning to his standing position, slightly crouched due to the low ceiling of his room. “Any title from you is an honor, Celestia. As is your presence, which I am guessing has something to do with the events planned for later tonight?”
Celestia coughed into her hoof and ended her merry chuckle. “Why yes, about that. The Gala will soon be upon us. Most of the nobles and social elites in Canterlot will be arriving there. Along with my student Twilight and her friends from Ponyville as well.”
“Ah, yes, I have fond memories of the pink one, who is conveniently named Pinkie if I recall correctly.” The Emperor shook his head and chuckled. “What a comical one she is. It will be quite the treat to meet with her once again.”
“Yes, well, I was hoping we could meet her together. If you’d be so kind as to accept my offer as to be my date to the Gala this evening.” Celestia turned her head away and bit her lip. “That is, if you have no other plans for this evening. I’d hate to be a bother.”
“A bother?” the Emperor asked, arching a brow while a smirk teased his lips. “Why, my dear, spending an evening with you beats any plan I could possibly conceive of. So that’d be a yes to accepting a date with the most beautiful mare in the universe.”
Celestia waved a hoof while her cheeks grew warm. “Well, I don’t know about the entire universe…”
He nodded. “Trust me, you are. I’ve seen the entire place.” He tapped a chin and shrugged. “Not as impressive as one would think.” Looking back down to Celestia, he said, “I’ll be just a moment, and then we can be off. I need to slip into some evening attire.”
“Wouldn’t your armor do?” Celestia asked, having never witnessed him dressed in anything but the foreboding battle armor.
“Not for a party. Let’s just say what I have in mind is going to wow everyone.” The Emperor winked. “And in more ways than one, I can guarantee.”
The Gala was abuzz with nobility of all kind mingling with the uppercrust of Canterlot social elites, all while enjoying the best music, food, and various alcohol supplies the castle and perhaps all of Equestria had to offer. It was the most sophisticated and exclusive event the castle had all year, and, of course, Celestia was bored out of her mind.
She once again had greeting duty by forcing on a friendly smile and waving to a bunch of stuck-up big whigs whose combined egos could crush the entire mountain Canterlot resided on. If anything, Celestia dreaded this night more than any other, considering the fact that for the last few centuries it only grew duller and more drab as the minutes ticked by.
But not this year. This year, she actually had a date! The thought actually made Celestia’s smile genuine for a moment.
“You seem happy,” Luna said, surprising Celestia at her sister’s sudden appearance.
“Well, of course. It is the Gala, after all,” Celestia answered.
“I remember back in the day that you mentioned you dreaded the Gala more than getting your wisdom teeth pulled out with a rusty wrench at the dentist,” Luna reminded her with a smirk.
Celestia rolled her eyes. “Okay, okay, maybe I’m a bit more excited for this one than the countless others.”
“I think actually having the guts to get a date might be a factor in that.” Luna scanned the crowd of ponies gathered in the castle door entrance. “So, you know where mister tall, golden and handsome might be at?”
“He told me he’ll arrive later tonight,” Celestia told her. “In his formal attire as well.”
“Formal?” Luna asked, arching a brow as her smirk grew wider.
“Well… more formal than that armor he normally wears, at least.” Celestia furrowed her brows, biting her lip. “I just wish he’ll arrive already.”
“Look at you, sis, already a gawking marefriend on her coltfriend’s back all the time,” Luna laughed. She playfully poked Celestia’s side with her shoulder and winked. “Oh dear, they grow up so fast.”
“Oh, shush you. Do I need to remind all the nobles here which princess still sleeps with a nightlight?”
Luna’s eyes went wide, and her head slowly turned so she stared directly at Celestia. “You wouldn’t dare,” Luna whispered through her teeth, joining Celestia in waving and smiling the new arrivals to the Gala.
Celestia nodded. “You bet your moon-loving ass I would.”
Sweating up a storm, Luna’s eyes glanced all around for a saving grace. Luckily for her, her’s came in the form of the one person Celestia was looking forward to spending time with above all else.
“Wow, I have to admit… your coltfriend cleans up nicely,” Luna said, pointing to where the Emperor entered the Gala.
Celestia’s cheeks grew red, and she gulped. “Wow… he sure does.”
The God Emperor of Mankind’s evening attire was quite the spectacle for many of the ponies crowded around him. His intimidating and ridiculously sized armor was replaced with an evening attire of a crimson, buttoned up coat with black breeches. However, the similarities to his battle-hardened getup was still noticeable, such as the armor outfitted for his legs along with brilliantly golden gauntlets on either arm. To complete the look was his usual red cloak, this time with a fur lined finish, along with a single shoulderpad of armor with a wing of the most fiery orange attached to the front, appearing to be from some exotic bird of some sort whose beauty knew no bounds. Of course, he still had on his golden wreath atop his head, the shiny, interlocking leaves a further attestment of his Emperor status.
Celestia was so caught up in his stellar appearance, she hardly noticed him walking up the stairs leading up to her. Once he was before her, Celestia came to a stunning realization.
“You’re… shorter,” Celestia said. This time when she craned her neck back to stare at his face, it took much less effort. The Emperor’s typical height of nearly twelve feet tall was shrunk down to the much more manageable height of seven feet. “I mean, not in a bad sort of way, in a g-good sort of way! Like… um…”
The Emperor held up a hand and chuckled. “Please now, my dear, it is quite alright. I know what you mean.”
Celestia blushed, while Luna gagged and pointed at her tongue sticking out. “Well, I see you two are acquainted with. Have a nice night,” she said to the two, the duo ignoring her as they stared in the other’s eyes. Luna rolled her eyes, slinking away into the crowd of nobles and Canterlot social elites. “Sheesh, how hard is it for a moon princess to get some appreciation here? Or at least someone who doesn’t look too shabby…”
Turning her reddening face away, Celestia’s eyes scanned the intricate beauty of the Emperor’s new suit. “Wow, Geom, you weren’t kidding about the surprise. You look amazing. And I had no idea you could turn smaller as well.”
The Emperor shrugged one shoulder, brushing a lock of extra exfoliated hair from his face. “When one has powers that are considered god-like, my dear, it is not too much trouble to change their appearance to their own liking. Of course, I prefer my other form, since it is the one I am most familiar with.” He smiled and winked at her. “But for you, I decided something a bit more… formal would be more to your liking.”
“Well, I am definitely liking it. Really liking. In fact, I’m loving it!” Celestia covered her mouth with a hoof and inhaled several deep breaths. Coughing under her breath, she held out a hoof to the Emperor and asked, “So, Geom, would you be ever so kind as to escort me inside.”
“It would be my honor, your majesty,” he answered, gingerly wrapping his fingers around her hoof. The two walked hand in hoof to the Gala, entering the ballroom just as it was abuzz with activity. The party had just begun, and what was in store for the two of them was an evening of merriment and delights.
That is, if the Emperor didn’t immediately release Celestia’s hoof and shift his eyes all around the gala, which was in full swing.
Sensing something wrong, Celestia rested a hoof on the Emperor’s knee. “Geom, is something wrong?”
The Emperor of Mankind glanced down at her for but his moment, right before his eyes returned back to their tedious search of every inch of the ballroom he could spot. “Yes, there is. There definitely is.” The God Emperor reached a hand into the shadows of his cape, a fiery red light glowing from within its confines. “Something is amiss, I can just feel it. Something… wrong.”
A sinister cackle filled the air, many a noble halting their party time interactions to remain silent and see if they could hear the laughter again a second time.
“Something like Chaos,” the Emperor spat.
Before the duo, Discord winked into existence, appearing from out of nowhere. His freakish appearance of mismatched animal body parts left the Emperor with a grimace in response, while Celestia just frowned and rolled her eyes. To match the bizarre makeup of his body, Discord wore a barely matching bow-tie and top hat with a coat that looked like a rainbow puked and then spilled it cuts on it.
“Celestia, hola! Welcome-o to the party-o which is the Gala… o.” Discord shrugged, sipping the rest of his margarita glass, sans the actual margarita. Shifting his oddly sized eyes to the God Emperor of Mankind, Discord’s gaze halted on the fiery sword he was currently withdrawing, then to the Emperor’s face, which was consorted in a rage that could send countless warriors fleeing in the opposite direction rather than face him. “And who’s Mister Needs a Haircut over here?”
The God Emperor drew out the rest of his sword and pointed the tip at Discord, the ground itself shaking when he spoke: “Listen close, God of Chaos, for my voice shall be the last you ever hear! I have made it my unwavering and endless endeavor to kill and destroy your despicable kind and any others that dare defy the Warp for their own twisted gain! And now you, like countless others, shall perish beneath my blade!” The Emperor was upon Discord in but a moment, his sword’s blade just mere centimeters away from Discord’s neck.
Discord rubbed his chin and nodded, taking careful precautions to not slice his neck open, then glanced over at Celestia and then back at the God Emperor. “Wow, Celestia, you sure do know how to pick them out, don’t ya?”
Celestia sighed. “I knew something like this would happen. I just knew it.”
Discord sipped through the crazy straw that circled around his body and ended at the drink he was holding up with his reptilian foot while the God Emperor’s flaming blade pressed against his throat. Putting on a pair of shades to shield his eyes against the blade’s bright sheen, he asked, “So, tall, dark, and roid-rage, you mind putting down the butter knife and act like an adult?”
“How dare you speak to me like that, you Chaos scum!” the Emperor hissed, pushing his blade closer so that it began sizzling Discord’s coat.
“I know, right?” Discord disappeared, leaving a small and quickly dissipating smoke cloud behind. Sitting on the Emperor’s shoulder now, Discord ruffled the disgruntled godly entity’s hair. “Usually I’m not the first to hop aboard the act mature train, but when I’m being threatened of my threat being cut out while simultaneously burned, I become the conductor.” Discord pulled his arm up and down several times and blew smoke out of his ears. “Choo, choo!”
The God Emperor attempted to swipe Discord off with a cleave of his blade, but the troublesome draconequus was already gone. “Damn you Warp trash!” the Emperor shouted, his head swiveling all about as his grip tightened on his blade. “When I get my hands on you, I’ll show you a fury that would put even the orks to shame!”
“Don’t you mean orc?” Discord asked, popping complimentary hors d'oeuvre in his mouth.
The Emperor thrust his sword forward, Discord’s only saving grace being his plate, which prevented the rest of the fiery blade from stabbing Discord in the gut. How exactly it did this was still up to the question.
“No, it’s ork! They make it a point to remind you of that! It’s really annoying!” The Emperor pushed into his thrust, turning the silver platter to molten liquid, but unfortunately there was no molten Discord as well.
Discord appeared next at Celestia’s side, eating some very well done mini wieners due to the Emperor’s handiwork. “I must admit, Tia, deary, your date is quite fun. Definitely worth popping over for a visit to meet. Along with these scrumptious wieners as well.” Discord chewed on another one and paused. “Wait… I thought you ponies were vegetarians?”
“Prepare to meet the jaws of death, you Chaotic piece of waste!” the Emperor screamed, taking to the air in an aerial attack. His sword was pointing straight downward, prepared to plunge right into Discord’s chest in a final strike. However, Celestia moved in the sword’s path, the scowl on her face more fiery than the sword.
“Geom, enough of this!” Celestia demanded, not budging an inch even as the sword neared closer.
The Emperor stopped in midair, the tip of his sword inches away from Celestia’s muzzle, the fires reflecting in her eyes. He dropped to the ground, slowly lowering his sword to the floor.
“Ooh, Geom! Is that Prench? Preek? Another ponified word of a country’s name?” Discord asked. “Ooh, ooh, how about Prussia? Wait, no, they untied under—”
“Quiet, Discord!” both Celestia and the Emperor shouted at once.
Celestia returned her attention back to her date, who was starting to lose some of his ruggish charm the more enraged his expression became. “Geom, would you mind explaining to me why you decide now would be a good time to attack one of my guests?”
“Guest?” the Emperor chided. He threw up a hand and pointed at Discord, who currently had a halo hanging above his head while he whistled an innocent tune. “He’s your guest? Do you make it a habit to have mass murderers and genocidal monsters over for a spot while you’re at it?”
Celestia furrowed her brow, and took a step forward, poking her hoof against the Emperor’s stomach. “Oh, so you think insulting my intelligence is going to excuse you for nearly killing Discord? Is that your game now?”
“Discord, do you know what’s going on?” Luna asked him, approaching closer.
Discord snapped his fingers, a bag of popcorn and extra large soda poofing in his arms. Taking a sip from his overpriced drink while he offered some of the popcorn to Luna, he shrugged. “No idea, but I can tell it’s already getting good. And to think, Twilight told me the Gala was boring and I shouldn’t show up. Ha!”
“My game certainly isn’t letting some abomination like him walk around freely, that’s for sure!” The Emperor glared at Discord with a gaze so malicious that if looks could kill, Discord would have been annihilated down to the smallest atom.
“The only abomination I can see here is a certain someone throwing insults all over the place and trying to behead my friends!”
The Emperor’s jaw dropped. He stared at Discord, who waved back along with Luna, both their mouths filled with buttery popcorn, then back to Celestia, then back to the duo and finally to Celestia once again. “That… that thing is your friend?”
“Weeeeeeeell…” Celestia scratched the back of her neck and coughed awkwardly.
“Oh, you betcha!” Discord slid next to Celestia and threw an arm around her shoulder, Luna already in his other arm’s grip. “Us three go way back! Sure, we kind of disconnected for a few centuries, but now we’re closer than ever before!”
“You can’t be serious. You just can’t.” The God Emperor held a hand to his temple and sighed deeply. “Do you have any idea what him and his kind are capable? Any at all?”
“I know he can distort the fabric of reality to suit his own needs and ends,” Celestia remarked, slinking out of Discord’s grip. “Also, he used to rule over Equestria as a tyrannical ruler before Luna and I put him out of commision. Which had to be done twice, actually, most recently by my student Twilight and her friends a while back. And even then, I gave Discord a second chance to prove his worth, which he did.” Celestia kicked her hoof on the floor and avoided the Emperor’s gaze. “Along with a third chance as well.”
“And even then, you consider him a friend?” the Emperor asked.
Celestia looked up at Discord, who was pouting his lip as his mismatched pupils grew ridiculously large. Luna was currently having trouble breathing while locked in Discord’s hold, but Celestia didn’t bother to notice.
Groaning under her breath, she muttered, “Yes, he is my… friend. I use the term as loosely as possible.”
Discord threw his arms around Celestia and sobbed in her shoulder. “Oh Tia, dear, I knew you cared, I just knew it!”
The God Emperor let out a long held in breath from his nostrils. Then, turning away from the pair, he slowly shook his head. “Then that is all I need to know.”
He started walking forward, not even bothering to look back. Shoving Discord to the side, Celestia called out, “Geom, wait, where are you going?”
“Anywhere but here,” the Emperor replied bitterly, voice as cold and sharp as a steel razor. “I thought this world was free of the Chaos’ presence, but it looks like I was wrong. Nowhere in the galaxy or universe will I be free of them.”
“But Geom, what about me?” she asked, stopping a few feet away.
The God Emperor stood still. Slowly, he glanced over his shoulder, eyes colder than the void of space itself. “I am sorry, Celestia, but we’re through.”
Celestia nearly collapsed to her knees. “Wh… what?”
“I cannot be in a relationship with someone who would possibly be on friendly terms with such a vile monster such as this Discord fellow. I’ve seen what the Chaos Gods do to those they acquaint themselves with. I have already witnessed too many good friends, comrades, soldiers, and even my own son become corrupted by Chaos. I won’t let another grow close to me when I already know they’ll betray me, just like all the others.”
“But Discord isn’t like that! He’s a Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, not a god!” Celestia explained, pointing to him. “Sure, he used to be evil in the past, and recently he was quite evil, actually, but he’s changed his ways… I’m pretty sure! But still, you can’t let him ruin such a good thing we have going, can you?”
“Oh hey, did he mention Chaos Gods?” Discord asked, his legendarily short attention span snapping him back in the conversation.
Celestia slowly turned her head towards Discord, eyes uncomfortably wide while her pupils were mere pinpricks. “Discord, I swear, if you don’t shut your mouth right now, I’m gonna—”
“Oh man, those guys. Real crazy bunch, am I right?” Discord chuckled and shook his head, sighing in content. “Man, I remember that group from college. They were the wildest frat house you could possibly imagine. Why, this one time, they threw a party so large and out of control, it caused over a dozen stars to implode! Ah, good times, good times…”
“See? You see now? He is nothing but a derelict monster with a soul just as black as the very abominations I made my life goal to fight!” the Emperor said.
Discord rolled his eyes, which popped out of his head before he caught them with his tail to throw them back into his sockets. “Oh please, I haven’t hung out with those four in forever. Although there’s a fifth you can I’m quite acquainted with.”
“I don’t care if you write each other letters. Those damned beings have been a thorn in my side for tens of thousands of years, and I refuse to associate with anyone involved with them!” The Emperor turned back around and continued on his way.
Celestia’s lower lip trembled as tears began to pool in the corner of her eyes. Looking to Discord, Celestia jumped on his chest and clench his neck tightly in her hooves. “Discord, do something to bring Geom back! Anything!”
Ignoring her chokehold, Discord arched a brow and crossed his arms. “Why me, since he’s your boyfriend?”
Celestia’s mane and eyes blazed into an inferno that put the intensity of the sun itself to shame. “Because if you don’t, I’ll make you beg me to turn you into a stone statue once I’m through with you!”
Gulping while both his eyebrows and beard burned to ash, Discord took out his flip phone from his ear and dialed a button, the beep of a call going forward being heard.
“Okay, easy now, burned draconequus fur is not something you want to smell. I just took care of all of our problems, so nothing to worry about.”
“Really?” Celestia asked, the fires in her mane dying down.
“Sure,” Discord replied, just as the beeping noise on the phone ended.
“Hello?” a eerily menacing voice asked on the other line.
“Yo, Khorne, what up? It’s Discord. You know, from college, remember?” Discord asked. “Listen, do you mind doing me a solid and calling up your bros to come down for a visit here in Equestria? I just ran into an old buddy of yours that’s just burning with excitement to catch up with you.”
“Sure thing, Discord. Keep it real,” Khorne replied.
“Word,” Discord said, before flipping the phone shut. Returning his attention back to Celestia, he smiled. “See, now with the Chaos Gods showing up, we can get them to explain to Geom that I’m not such a bad guy after all! They can definitely vouch for me!”
Celestia was staring while still atop Discord with her jaw dropping so low it nearly reached his chest. Luna was following her example, and any pony remaining in the Gala that hadn’t hightailed it out of there at the first indications of violence was currently doing the same. Finally, the God Emperor of Mankind himself turned back around, jaw dropping to the floor as the entire dance hall’s collective eyes were focused solely on Discord.
Rubbing his now beardless chin, Discord nodded. “Wait, no, don’t explain it to me, I see it now.” He sighed, slapping a hand to his forehead. “I forgot to mention to them to show up in formal wear only. Just imagine how embarrassing it’ll be for them once they show up!”
“Discord, how could you possibly think bringing those Chaos Gods were a good idea?” Celestia asked him, shaking his neck like he was a ragdoll. “How?”
Discord’s head flew off his body, flying through the air before it landed in the punch bowl. His body ran with desperate haste to his side, returning his head back to his neck while he spit and sneezed out punch. “Well now, that wasn’t really necessary, was it, Celestia? Do try to be civil when you have guests around.”
Celestia’s mane flared up into a torrent of flames once again, but the steady hand of the Emperor on her shoulder halted her anger for but a moment. “Celestia, it’s no use trying to reason with this nitwit now. What we should really be worried about are the Chaos Gods arriving at any moment. And once they do, everyone here will be doomed.”
“What?” Celestia balked.
“Well, along with the entire planet. Although I would be surprised if they managed to find a way out of the Warp.” The Emperor shrugged. “Most likely they’ll consume all the souls on the planet and turn it into rubble without even having to step out of the Warp.”
“Oh, they can make a physical presence,” Discord chimed in from the fondue table.
“What?!” both Celestia and the God Emperor shouted at the same time.
“Equestria’s magic makes it so that the Warp’s presence is… what’s the word for it?” Discord snapped his fingers, several snack foods falling into the fountain of melted cheese, before he muttered, “Chaotic!” He laughed, consuming several of the cheesy food items with gusto.
“But how?” the Emperor asked. “For them to escape the Warp and take on physical bodies beyond their own realm should be impossible.”
“Think about what you have already witnessed while you’ve been in Equestria, Mister God Emperor, and tell me how much your definition of impossibly has changed?” Discord laughed, a single snap of his fingers turning the floor into pure gold.
The Emperor fell to his knees on the floor, staring at his golden reflection off of it. “No… no, it can’t be. With Equestria’s magics, they can actually leave the Warp?”
“Duh, how many times do I have to repeat myself? Sheesh, they’ll only be here for five minutes at least, no need to blow a gasket,” Discord said, brushing his foot along the floor and chuckling when gold coins exploded outward like kicked dirt. “They’ll only be here to prove my good name, and perhaps help themselves to some of the free food. Man, that Slaanesh guy… girl… thing, include the word free in anything and he’ll be all over it.”
“Discord, quiet! You have possibly doomed all of Equestria, and I really only have patience to deal with one impending disaster at the moment!” Celestia hissed to him. He shrugged, but went about his business of skating on the golden floors without a care in the world. Turning back to the God Emperor, Celestia noticed that he was back on his feet. “Geom, what are we going to do?”
The Emperor sighed, shaking his head slowly when he turned away from her. “We? There is no ‘we’ here, princess. There’s only me. The Ruinous Powers are my enemy, thus they are my problem to deal with.”
“But they’ll be in my country! I just can’t let them harm my little ponies!” Celestia argued, stomping her hoof down to further cement your point. “I don’t care if they are your enemy, if they enter my domain, they’re mine too!”
“Don’t you understand you’ll only get killed if you try to fight against them?” the Emperor asked her. He turned back around, a sorrowful frown tinged with worry on his face. “You have no chance standing up to them.”
“What do you care? From what I remembered, you just broke up with me five minutes ago!”
Discord ‘oohed’ in the background, shouting, “You go, girl! Tell him like it is!”
The Emperor glared at Discord, who quickly shut his mouth and grumbled. Looking back to Celestia, he said, “Listen, Celestia, what I said before was rash and unthoughtful, and I’m sorry. It’s just that… the Chaos Gods have been my enemy for so long now, anything associated with them I automatically assume is evil and wrong. Even you.” He held a hand up to his forehead and applied pressure on the bridge of his nose. “That was wrong of me, and I know that now. You’re better than that. Better than me, even. It is only now that I realize that trying to stop the Chao Gods since the birth of my existence, I have become the one thing I hated the most. Even my own people worshipped me like I was one of those monsters. And it’s because of them I can’t even return home.”
“Geom… I had no idea you felt this way,” Celestia said, tears on the verge of breaking out.
“Then it is my fault for not telling you everything from the get-go, Celestia. Just like how everything else is my fault.” The Emperor’s hand turned into a fist, psychic energies channeling forth until is his entire arm was covered in its mighty power. “Mankind’s downfall, my exile in the Warp while my body slowly rotted away, my people being turned into savant cultists living in constant fear of repercussions from the very people trying to protect them, and even the Chaos Gods coming to Equestria. All my fault. Every single last part of it.”
Celestia took a step forward, resting a hoof on the Emperor’s shaking fist, his psychic power not daring to harm her. “Geom, you cannot blame solely yourself. Not everything is your fault.”
“Then whose is it? Who can bare the burden of dozens of millennium's worth of guilt other than myself? Who could possibly be held responsible for Mankind other than it’s God?” he asked, spitting the last word out.
“Geom, you said it yourself, you’re not a god.” Celestia fluttered upward, then laid a single kiss upon his cheek. “And neither am I. We’ll defeat this threat together, no matter how great. We may not be perfect, but at least we can be imperfect with each other.”
Sniffling broke their attention and brought their focus to a teared up Discord off to the side, who was blowing his nose into a tissue while Luna napped against his side. “Beautiful, just beautiful!” he cheered, waking Luna up as he clapped his hands together. “Totally worth the real life experience instead of buying it on DVD!”
“Huh? What? What did I miss?” Luna asked, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Ugh, I’ve been on night shift too many times to deal with this type of stuff.”
Discord flicked at her tiara. “But aren’t you the Princess of the Night?”
Luna huffed. “Doesn’t mean insomnia and lack of sleep aren’t biting me in the ass right now.”
“Attention, everyone, we can discuss troublesome sleep cycles later,” the Emperor said. He drew his sword up high, a shower of fire covering his body like a blanket out flames. The inferno lasted but a moment, but as his blade returned to its normal fiery consistency, he was once more decked out in his golden armor, with his size once again a fearsome height. “For right now, we have Chaos Gods to deal with.”
“An excellent plan!” Discord proclaimed, snapping his fingers. He crossed his arms and showed off a satisfied grin. “There. All the ponies in the castle and Canterlot are in Ponyville right now. I know how rowdy those Chaos Gods can get.” Discord hummed under his breath and rubbed his chin, beard having returned with a vigor. “I wonder if I should order any pizza?”
“No time,” Celestia said. She turned to her sister and asked, “Luna, the Element Bearers are probably in Ponyville due to Discord’s magic. I need you to get them to the Tree of Harmony, and prepare for an attack against the Chaos Gods. But only if I say so. We still don’t know what we’re dealing with, but better to be safe than sorry.”
Luna yawned, then nodded her head weakly. “Ugh… sure. Geez, I really need a coffee.” And with that, Luna teleported away.
“So, Geom, you have any idea when these Chaos Gods will be here?” Celestia asked, her back still turned to him.
“Actually, they’ve just arrived,” the Emperor said.
Turning around, Celestia was met by the presence of a rather large hole in the fabric of realspace that led directly into the heart of the Realm of Chaos itself. From there, she spied three figures drawing close. Just from looking upon them, Celestia sensed the unbelievable power emanating from their forms. It was like the might of a thousand suns and then some were trapped in their bodies, just looking at them threatened to blind her.
“Get ready to fight,” the Emperor said, pointing the tip of his blade at the fearsome four that had been his most hated enemy for countless years.
Just then, Discord ran up to the four, a load of pizza boxes balanced on his hands. “Hey, guys, guys, I got the pizza! Hope you like anchovies and pineapple!”
“Celestia, remind me again how he’s your friend?” the Emperor asked her.
Celestia opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. “Honestly, out of everything that’s happened thus far and will happen afterward, that fact still weirds me out more than anything else.”
The God Emperor of Mankind gritted his teeth, steadied his battle stance, and prepared for one of the most difficult battles of his life. Just beyond the hole in the very fabrics of realspace that led to the chaotic dimension of the beyond known as the Warp were his most hated and fearsome enemies. The Chaos Gods, beings of inconceivable might and power that twisted the Warp to their own desires and warred with humanity for thousands of years so that they might take over the entire galaxy. But as for now, their only bid was to enter into this world, where its magic granted them physical forms that would not typically be allowed.
Celestia scooted over closer to the Emperor, her horn already aglow with magic energies while her mane started to spark before the first signs of an inferno. “So, Geom, how difficult are these Chaos Gods to fight? Can they be defeated?”
“Only sparingly,” the Emperor answered. “Each defeat makes them stronger, and normally they do not align themselves together to defeat one threat. When all their powers are combined, it is nearly impossible to beat them. All I’ve managed was to contain them from spreading further for the last couple of thousand years.”
“Can they be killed?” Celestia asked. “Not that I’m saying that’s the only option to stop them, but if it comes down to saving Equestria, it would become a possibility.”
The Emperor chuckled. “If they could, I would have done it long ago. Whenever one is threatened to cease to exist, the others arrive to save him. While they may squabble and fight petty wars with one another—as is their nature—with one of them gone, the Warp becomes calmer, meaning they become weaker. It’s either all of them or none of them.”
Celestia sighed. “Great. There’s two of us and three of them. The odds aren’t in our favor then.”
The Emperor’s stance faltered.“Three?” he asked.
Celestia nodded, peering deeper into the hole leading to the Warp. “That’s all I can make out. Three figures, growing closer by the second.”
“But there are four Ruinous Powers. Where can the fourth be if his brothers have already arrived?”
“Well, you’re the expert on them, so tell me which one is missing,” Celestia said. She bent her knees and prepared a devastating spell the minute the Chaos Gods dropped by.
“Well, there’s Nurgle, the eldest of the four,” the Emperor noted as the first figure entered this world. “He is the Plague Lord, having complete control over pestilences and decay. You can probably tell just by looking at him. Which you should try to avoid doing for your own good.”
The appearance of Nurgle did indeed match the likeness to his title. A gigantic husk of rotting flesh that’s only claim to life were the putrid diseases growing inside it and the maggots eating away at the flesh, Nurgle was every bit the embodiment of death and decay he so claims to be. His skin was a vast array of colors from putrid green from moldy brown and even a bloody black ooze that leaked from every open wound on his body. Nurgle’s own exterior was also his interior, many of his rotting organs hanging out of his ruptured skin like some twisted, perverted joke of a smashed piñata. Past all the boils, leaking puss, oozing noxious juices and overpowering stench that burned one’s nose hairs, Nurgle’s face remained as one of a jolly grin from the demented smile of a grandfather like figure, said grin spilling forth a vile bile along with jagged, razor sharp teeth.
While Celestia’s face had turned a shade of green similar to Nurgle’s skin, she dared not breathe in through her nose, lest she perish from the scent of rot incarnate.
“Looks like the next one is Khorne, the Blood God. As expected, he’s all ready for battle,” the Emperor spoke, breaking Celestia out of her disgusted trance after seeing Nurgle. “Whatever you do, avoid looking him in the eye. His gaze is unpleasant if you don’t enjoy witnessing the deaths of trillions of beings himself and his cultists have murdered. He isn’t called the Lord of Skulls for nothing.”
Khorne’s face could not be seen behind his helm that was similar to that of a skull, but even from here Celestia could hear the snarls and growls. Taller than even the God Emperor, Khorne stood an imposing figure that reeked of violence like Nurgle reeked of decay. He wore armor that looked to be as if fashioned from those of his fallen enemies, twisted and beaten into a hulking mass of brass and black iron that gave him an appearance of a living weapon. Spikes lined his back and every available free space on his armor, each decorated with the impaled skull of a defeated foe. In one hand he held a massive two-handed sword that seemed to be able to slice through reality itself, a blade so large it made the Emperor’s look like a toothpick. And finally was the constant dripping sound of blood oozing from the openings of his armor, a red rust of dried blood staining his armor an even shade of crimson.
“Ah, and it appears Tzeentch arrived as well. Keep an eye on this one, Celestia, for he is the God of Sorcery and Changer of Ways. His magic may even surpass yours,” the Emperor warned her.
Celestia could not look away, but from what, she still didn't’ know. Out of all the Chaos Gods she has seen thus far, Tzeentch’s appearance was by far the strangest. With the body of a giant bird of prey, Tzeentch neither had feathers or wings. Instead, his skin was composed of constantly shifting faces that leered or mocked Celestia in a never ending variety of dialectics and tongues. Tzeentch had no neck to speak of, his head literally on his body where an imposing beak that whispered arcane secrets stood. His eyes glowed with an internal blue fire that promised secrets that could shatter the mind and lies that could change your fate. Above his head stood horns that rippled with an arcane might that put even Celestia’s own to shame, Tzeentch’s power so great it practically flowed out of himself like a river and surrounded him like an ocean. He was mysterious, familiar, dangerous, secure, all these things and more to form a body that was both inconsistent yet cemented itself as one of the fundamental truths in this universe.
“So, with all three of them here, that only leaves Slaanesh,” the Emperor said. His grip around his sword tightened, a frown that looked to be as if etched in stone overtook his visage. “Of course, leave it up to the Prince of Pleasure to pull a surprise at the last second.”
“Hey, guys, it’s me, Discord!” Discord bellowed, waving to the three Chaos Gods that had just entered through the hole in the Warp. He ran up to the three, showcasing the mountain of pizza boxes. “I got some pizza for us! Just like college, remember?”
“Did you get the pineapple toppings?” Nurgle asked, tongue rolling out like a decayed snake.
“Sure did!” Discord opened one up, offering it to the ruinous god. “Along with anchovies for Tzeentch as well!”
Nurgle balked, his tongue returning to his rotting jaws. “Anchovies? Ew! Disgusting! Who in their right mind eats their pizza with anchovies?”
“You know, you could always pick the anchovies off,” Tzeentch said, which was repeated multiple times from all the faces along his body. He picked up a slice, already removing some of the pineapple slices. “Furthermore, only a moron would eat his pizza with pineapples.”
“Ah, forget this! We already had Chinese, you fat sacks of shit!” Khorne bellowed, swiping the pizza boxes out of Discord’s hand. Glaring at Tzeentch, he slapped his pizza slice out of his hand, much to the chagrin of the Architect of Fate. “Discord, you called all of us out here, so there better be a good fucking reason for it! I got skulls that need collecting and blood that needs spilling!”
“Oh yeah, right!” Discord turned towards Celestia and the God Emperor, snapping his fingers and then pointing at them. “You guys remember the God Emperor of Mankind, right? Well, he has a new girlfriend, and the two got in a little spat over me, since Geom here isn’t too friendly to Chaos Gods apparently. Kind of bigoted in this day and age, I know, but this is why I called you guys in to help.” Returning his gaze to the three Ruinous Powers, Discord smiled and held a thumbs up. “You guys mind being bros and assuring Geom here I’m cool? It’d really mean a lot.”
“The God Emperor,” Nurgle wheezed.
“Alive?” Tzeentch hissed.
“And still with his skull?” Khorne shouted.
Discord hummed under his breath, tapping a claw to his chin. “Wait a minute… weren’t there, like, four of you in your dorm? Where’s Slaanster? You know, the Slaanmeister, Slaaningtons, Slaan-a-lam-a-ding-dong. That guy… girl… thing.”
The three traded a grin, though Khorne’s only way at expressing pleasure was for blood-soaked drool to leak from the bottom of his helmet.
“Oh yeah, Slaanesh did mention something about arriving in style,” Khorne said, a predatory chuckle escaping his lips.
“Yeah, yeah, said she wanted to be a bit fashionably late!” Nurgle laughed, the action causing boils all along his body to pop and spewer out toxic fumes.
“Leave it up to the Master of Excess in All Things to come up with a grand entrance!” Tzeentch said, not sharing in the other’s laugh but smirking deviously all the same. “I predict quite a rowdy appearance from him soon enough.”
“Geom, any idea where the fourth one is?” Celestia whispered, her attention for who to shoot at next divided amongst the three.
The Emperor’s eyes scanned all across the banquet hall, but he couldn’t spot the missing Chaos God anywhere. “No, but if I know Slaanesh, he’d probably show up in the most unexpected ways possible.”
Just then, the Emperor turned his head towards the ceiling, holding up his sword to defend himself. But nothing was there.
Lowering his weapon, the Emperor shrugged. “Huh. I could have sworn he’d try to sneak attack me from ab—” The Emperor didn’t manage to finish his sentence, already falling through a hole that had appeared beneath him in the floor. From it Celestia could hear giggles that seemed to resemble that of a little filly and screams of a tortured mental patient all at once.
“Oh, wait, there’s Slaanesh!” Discord turned back to the three and grinned. “Looks like the gang is back together after all.”
Once Discord finished uttering those words, all three Chaos Gods punched him in the face at the exact same time. Khorne took extra measures to throw a kick at Discord’s groin region as well, hitting it square on.
“Wait!” Discord screamed. He held his hands over his bruised and battered face, cowering beneath the gazes of all three Chaos Gods. “What are you guys doing? I thought we were bros?”
“As if we’d be bros with such a weak and pathetic, sniveling whelp like yourself!” Nurgle jeered, spitting a toxic wad of decay that melted the floor at Discord’s feet.
“Now that you’re buddy-buddy with the Big E himself, you’re nothing to us!” Khorne bellowed. “And not only that, you’re friends with one of these meatsack ponies! Disgraceful!”
“And not only that, but this creature is the apparent leader around here instead of you,” Tzeentch reminded him, his arcane fires glowing a ghastly dark blue for but a moment. “You put our name to shame for allowing such a thing to transverse inside your realm, Discord. You are no bro of ours if this is the result of your rule in this pitiful world.”
Discord got back up to his feet, hopping from foot to foot while he pulled up his dukes. “Oh, you think I’m just going to let you guys beat me up like that?” He faked some punches and jabbed left to right, his toes on fire as he circled around the three Ruinous Powers. “Well, you got another thing coming! Since this is my realm, the odds are in my favor, so you’re gonna have a pretty—”
“Oh, but this isn’t your realm anymore, is it?” Tzeentch asked. The demonic bird of prey turned to Celestia and pointed a single claw at her. “It’s hers. Which means your power is equal to our own in here.”
Discord was picked up off his feet as he felt two slimy hands clamped around his arms which were then forced behind his back. “Which also means there only needs to be two of us to take you out,” Nurgle whispered in his ear, most of the hairs on Discord’s face vaporizing from Nurgle’s breath.
Tzeentch punched Discord in the gut, which was quickly followed by another fist as Tzeentch started an even pace of pummeling Discord. “Hey, Khorne, you want in on this?” Tzeentch asked.
“I believe—ooph—Khorne has—ugh—better things to do with his pre—my kidneys!” Discord screamed, his voice turning up a few notches and then some.
Khorne turned away from the three and waved his hand passively over his shoulder. “Nah, I have something better in mind.” Khorne dragged his massive sword behind his back, each step bringing him close and closer to his prize. A sitting duck pony princess who was too shocked by the events transpiring around her to beat a hasty retreat. “I’m gonna kill the Emperor’s girlfriend!”
“Wait, girlfriend?” Celestia asked, seconds before she remembered to dodge to the side to avoid getting her head cleaved off.
Khorne’s sword smashed into the ground and set off an earthquake, causing the entire castle to shudder and shake at the seams. Cracks ran through the floor like a flood, and the path of destruction of the sword’s fall didn’t just stop where it landed, but continued like a wave across the floor and up and walls and even the ceiling of the banquet hall. Picking up his sword like it weighed less than nothing, Khorne turned back towards Celestia, chunks of the destroyed ceiling falling around the pair like hail.
“When I’m done with you, I’ll add your skull to my throne. You should be honored. I’ve never had a pony on there before.” Khorne pointed the tip of his sword at Celestia face, a maddening laugh escaping from within the confines of his skeletal helmet. “But I’ll assure you, once I’m done with this planet, they’ll be plenty of them.”
Before Khorne could take a step forward to make good on his promise, he was knocked back by a magical energy bolt slamming right against his chest. Celestia’s horn was aglow with power fueled by desperation and anger. While Khorne was only pushed back a single step, it had set him off balance, so that another shot nearly sent him toppling over.
“I’ll never allow you or your kind to hurt my little ponies!” Celestia shouted, her voice booming in the traditional Royal Canterlot Voice. “I’d rather see you dead than allow that to happen!”
“Yes! Let the violence feed your power! It only makes mine stronger!” Khorne laughed, taking a running start before he leaped in the air to plunge his sword at Celestia’s neck. She teleported at the last second before his blade could make contact, his sword instead embedding itself in the floor and causing a large chunk of the room to just explode outward into the gardens and courtyards outside the castle, rumble raining everywhere as far as the eye could see.
“Let’s see how strong you are after this!” Celestia bellowed, appearing directly behind Khorne, his back vulnerable to her. Building up as much energy as she could muster, Celestia released it in a hellish ball of pure magic, the inferno impacting with Khorne’s back with a force that sent him falling to his knees. His entire body was consumed by flames, his armor fusing to his skin and parts of himself melting to fall into a pool around his feet.
Khorne remained on his knees, unmoving. Celestia sighed in relief, a noticeable sweat having formed on her forehead. Relaxing her stance, she chuckled. “Well, that wasn’t as hard as I thought it’d be. I think Geom may have been exaggerating about how tough these guys actually are.”
“Actually, no, he was pretty damn accurate,” Khorne replied, getting back to his feet with a hop in his step. The flames that had consumed him before were depleted, leaving his armor a smokey black. His armor itself didn’t look worse for the wear either, it already repairing itself like it was an alive entity. Within seconds, Khorne was back to his usual self, with almost no indication of injury at all. “As for you, I’ll enjoy spreading your blood across all four corners of your world!”
Khorne lifted his sword up high in the air and charged at Celestia, slashing and hacking in an aimless pattern to reach her. Celestia herself could only dodge and duck at Khorne’s attacks, his sword so ridiculously big that even with the intensity and speed of Khorne’s thrusts, Celestia always maneuvered to avoid them.
After an stab that nearly took off the majority of her head, Celestia growled, her mane once again blazing to life as a large quantity of magic that had been storing up in her horn was sparked to life. “Okay, enough of this!” Celestia poured the majority of her magic into her next attack, releasing it like a damn fit for bursting right at Khorne’s chest. “Let’s see how strong you really are!”
Khorne was flung back, his feet digging into the floor. Tiles and cement piled up at the back of his feet, but the God of Blood made no indication of a stagger or of being struck. When he finally came to a rest, he adjusted his sword to rest on his shoulder. He glanced down at his chest, then chuckled. There was a gigantic hole in his armor, allowing a clear view for anyone looking through to see the other side. Celestia could have practically flown right through it with no trouble at all.
However, the hole was slowly being filled up, the meat nothing but a dark and twisted representation of the Warp refilling to its proper structure while the armor melted to fit back on the skin. Just like before, Khorne was completely healed, Celestia’s attacks utterly useless against his amazingly rapid healing process.
“Stronger than you,” Khorne laughed, taking his sweet time to approach the speechless princess. Swinging his sword off his shoulders and taking a running start, Khorne leaped through the air and readied his blade for the finishing attack to tear the pony asunder once and for all. “And that’s all that matters!”
Celestia could only stand and watch as the sword descended towards her. She knew moving out of its way was useless. Anything she threw at him just brushed right off him. Khorne was truly invincible, and no amount of fighting could stop. Not from what she’s seen. The utter despair and hopelessness she was experiencing only grew with the approach of Khorne’s sword. Now was truly the end.
Well, it turned out it wasn’t the end of her, but rather from what just exploded out of the floor.
The Emperor of Mankind glanced over his shoulder and smiled at her, still looking immaculately handsome even when covered in dust, grime, and sizzling liquids. Those liquids turned out to be the blood of his enemy, Slaanesh—a sexually horrible monster that made straights and queers shiver in ecstasy and make even a rock question its sexual preference—who was currently pierced by Khorne’s sword. Although pierced isn’t the right word for it. More like gruesomely impaled to the hilt, splattering everyone other than Celestia with his blood.
“Khorne…” Slaanesh whispered. Blood pooled from his fanged mouth, his purple skin turned a few shades whiter and most of his torso now a mess of broken bones and flesh. “You fucking faggot, you fucked me with your own sword!”
Khorne shivered. “Geez, you’re getting off on this, aren’t you?”
Slaanesh patted Khorne’s gore-covered sword and smirked. “Like you aren’t.”
“That’s enough you two.” Geom pushed Slaanesh forward with his grip and sent both Gods of Chaos sprawling back to their brothers, all of whom were still punching Discord in his various bruised and battered organs.
Tzeentch took a moment of respite from beating on Discord to glare at Geom, all before he barked out a laugh. “Ha, how predictable from the Emperor himself!”
“Actually, I was planning on ripping Slaanesh in half and then sticking both pieces of him down Khorne’s throat.” Geom titled his head and chuckled, pointing the end if his flaming sword at the gruesome foursome. “But that worked wonders as well. Anyone else wish to meet their end at my blade?”
“Currently Slaanesh is meeting the end of Khorne’s blade,” Nurgle pointed out. “Like, not in a metaphorical sexual way like you’d think, which is really a first on Sl—”
“We already know, you moron!” Slaanesh said, still trying to tug himself off of Khorne’s sword, but it was deeply wedged inside him.
Tzeentch muttered under his breath and continued to kick Discord in the shin. “Fine, no need to be a drama queen. We still have those two to deal with.”
“Don’t worry fellas, I have a plan,” Khorne said, swinging his mighty sword about. Slaanesh was still attached to it, and was currently crying out in pain and dizziness from all of Khorne’s swinging. And, of course, he had an erection all the while. “We attack and kill them both!”
“Sounds good to me,” Nurgle agreed.
“I’m gonna puke! And not in the good way!” Slaanesh added.
Tzeentch clapped his claws together and nodded. “A modest proposal, but one I find agreeable. All at once, eh?”
“What was that?” Khorne asked, already ahead of the group. Technically Slaanesh was first since Khorne had it pointed at the God Emperor, but he was definitely the front-runner, with Nurgle lagging behind him.
Geom moved his sword protectively in front of Celestia as both a shield and a view-block from the sickening sight of the charging Chaos Gods. “Celestia, stay back. You don’t want to fight these guys.”
Celestia gritted her teeth. “Already tried it once. Didn’t work.”
“Not even a scratch?”
With a smile, she shook her head. “Nah, I got a scratch alright. A big hole through Khorne’s middle, actually. He just healed it back up on the fly.”
Geom arched a brow. “A hole? Even through his thick armor? Could such a feat be possible?”
Celestia’s horn glowed for a moment, then a fireball of pure magic sprouted from her magical reservoir and zoomed down the room to impact with a concussion blast against Khorne’s face. It took most of his helmet away in an inferno of ash and molten armor goop, which actually caused him to break stride for a moment and allow Nurgle to gain the lead. But in only a few seconds he was back to normal and charging towards the duo, screaming a bloodlust louder than ever.
“Yeah, seems pretty possible to me,” Celestia said, a satisfied smirk on her lips.
Geom nodded, then withdrew his sword from in front of Celestia. “Yes, that could work.” He barked out a laugh rich with cheerful glee. “Of course, it’s so obvious, why didn’t I see it before?”
“What now?”
The Emperor held up a single clawed finger to her, which was then followed by him decking Nurgle’s face once he got in a close enough proximity. Since Nurgle was moving at a breakneck speed without any intent to stop, most of his face was crushed into a sickening patty of broken flesh and bone, which just got worse off when Geom slashed it with his fiery sword. Nurgle went flying back across the room like a rotten ball of disease and girlish crying.
“You obviously have influence over this world. Meaning this section of the Warp still conforms to your magic. The Chaos Gods aren’t used to this type of magic, and thus they’re susceptible to its power. Meaning that even if it doesn’t take them out, it still affects them in a such more significant way than my own psyker powers. Which means…”
Suddenly, Khorne came in like a steamroller made out blood, skulls, and screaming Chaos Gods. Geom’s and Khorne’s clashed together in a test of steel, with Slaanesh unfortunately in the middle of it. Every strike, parry, and jab hit him in turn, and the Emperor’s fiery sword certainly wasn’t helping things.
“Which means you have to hit them with everything you got, Celestia! No holding back! I’ll take care of the rest!” Geom yelled out to her. He ducked, barely avoiding Khorne’s blade and Slaanesh’s desperate struggles. “Just trust me.”
While her first few efforts proved to not be fruitful, Celestia collected a great deal of magic in her horn regardless, following Geom’s advice. She didn’t think it would work. In fact, she was almost positive it wouldn’t. She saw how these Chaos Gods reacted to her magic. It was all a useless effort. All of it.
Yet she trusted Geom more than her own doubts.
A small vortex of her magic spiraled from her horn, soon becoming a tornado of golden light that blinded all in its path. The shimmering vortex of light shot across the room right towards Geom and Khorne, who were still locked in deadly battle.
With a sly side-step to the right, the Emperor avoided the blast of Celestia’s magic. Khorne, however, wasn’t so lucky. Slaanesh hadn’t been lucky since the beginning of all these events and was, of course, hit directly by the magic as well.
The tornado tore into the two of them like acid on paper. Khorne’s armor flaked off and some sections were even ripped to shreds, spatterings of blood popping up all across his ruined body. Slaanesh got the worse of it, already wounded greatly with Khorne’ blade still stuck in his midsection and little to no armor protecting himself—because apparently assless chaps and leather belly-shirts were more important that protection. In only a matter of moments most of his skin had been flayed from the bone and those bones in turn were becoming riddled with fractures and cracks. Yet in only a few seconds they were already healing from their wounds.
That is, until they were electrocuted with a stunning lightningbolt from the God Emperor himself.
Half of Khorne’s body blew up right down the middle, most of the left side dissipating into rusty dust, while Slaanesh on the other hand mostly turned into goop. At least he finally got off of Khorne’s sword, sans most of the lower part of his torso turning into fleshy soup. Although by his smile he seemed to be enjoying it. Of course.
“Celestia, it worked!” Geom yelled out in joy. While Khorne was hopping on one foot, Geom slashed him into another half with his sword, reducing the Blood God to a mere head, semi-torso and shaking fist. “Your magic weakens then while I can finish them off! Perfect!” Geom pointed his sword at Nurgle, who was still struggling to his feet from the face-smashing he had received at the Emperor’s hand. “Quick, hit the damned one while he’s down! Preferably in his weak region!”
“What?”
“Groin! The groin!”
“Oh, right.”
Celestia conjured up a fireball the size of a four-seater chariot, then used what magic she had left to flip Nurgle onto his back so that the resulting impact could hit him squarely on his balls… or whatever Chaos Gods had for genitals, anyway. The resulting scream probably deemed it the right area to hit.
Nurgle had stopped, dropped, and was currently rolling on the floor in an attempt to put the flames out when the Emperor appeared like an eagle soaring overhead, striking down with a fury over his prey. He struck his opponent down on his chest, Geom’s sword parting through Nurgle’s diseased flesh like a hot knife through butter, and with a quick flick of his wrist the Emperor had cut open his chest and stomach to the air… which turned out to release one of the most horrifying and burned smells ever imaginable.
Holding a hand to his face to keep from retching, the Emperor pointed the tip of his blade at Nurgle’s wound, the fire of the sword growing to a higher intensity until it was a white flame of the hottest temperature. “Finally, I can end this once and for all.”
“Where’s Discord?” Celestia asked.
“Ah, yes, excellent question. See, I was wondering how our ‘brother’ managed to get this little slice of Warp all to himself without any of us knowing about it.” Tzeentch smirked, and then all of the couple dozen or so faces of his followed suit. “It would appear that this world all the space around it is very, very strange indeed. So, naturally, I beat him up for the information on how he acquired it. Very, very, veeeeery interesting, I have to admit.”
Geom frowned. “What are you getting?”
Tzeentch chuckled, tapping his claws together as he observed his two opponents. “What I’m getting at is the key. Or rather, keys. The keys that Discord used to completely control all aspects of this world’s Warp to mix the two realities with one another. You see, he didn’t just open up a hole to the Warp. Discord combined this space with it.” Tzeentch sniggered. “Ironic how this very tool was the key to his downfall as well.”
Celestia’s eyes went wide and her jaw dropped down low. “No,” she whispered shakily. “You… y-you couldn’t have…”
From Tzeentch’s cloak appeared the Elements of Harmony, which he showcased in a dramatic fashion to the duo. Each of the crystal gems glowed not in their usual, cheerful light, but now with a dim luster that was engulfed in a pale blue aurora. “Oh yes.” Tzeentch snapped his fingers together, and right beside Celestia appeared a beaten and battered Discord in frozen statue form. “I did. And with it the walls between the Warp and this world shall be forever shattered until only one reality is left!”
Geom took a step off of Nurgle’s body. Khorne and Slaanesh were slow to get up, but they were steadily healing from their grievous wounds all the same. Tzeentch approached the two with a tedious slowness, the Elements of Harmony spinning around him as electricity and magic crackled from surface.
“Celestia, is this bad?” the Emperor asked, for the first time his voice uneasy.
“Oh, I can already answer that for you, sweetums,” Tzeentch said, pointing a single claw at Geom. Tzeentch’s eyes glowed with a vile blue light and a single beam shot forth from his claw at the Emperor.
