Chapter 11
Chapter 11: I Become A Backstabbing Winner
Having to move with an army sucked.
Sure, it was an army of stealthy insects that could fly, and since they were all made in the same image their attributes were more or less the same with the exception of the handful of changelings that had been raised to be field commanders. But, the fact they flew slower than me was what made me gnash my teeth. I wanted to be in the Crystal Empire in minutes, not hours!
It was only after I crossed the Crystal Mountains that I had an idea to solve my problem, but by then, it was already too late to kidnap Rainbow Dash and use her as something my changelings could copy in the hopes of increasing their flight speed. Not a single one of them would have been able to do a Rainboom as I was probably the only one that could hold enough mana to pull the move off…although if the ability had anything to do with the whole Elements thing, even I would…well, I could probably still do it.
I was a god after all.
Realizing I had gotten a little off track, I shook my head to discard the wasted thought and focused on the matter at hand. Would have been cool to show off in front of her though. Then she would have been even more into me. And if she had a problem with it? Well, that was what mind control was for!
That was my last thought before I spotted a tower in the far distance and signaled for the changelings to descend. Having an army that could blot out the sun was cool and all, but I needed them at least close to the ground to get things started. Plus, it was nighttime, and I couldn’t even see the moon for all the clouds dropping a foot of snow on me a minute anyway.
Once on the ground, I sent out a pulse of magic to locate the edge of Chrysalis anti-teleportation field and frowned while trying to examine it. Changelings knew three ways of entrapping our prey in such magic, and unfortunately, Chrysalis was using the most painful one to deal with. It was centered around the caster herself and also detected meddling because she had to concentrate to maintain it. Which that meant she knew someone had gone and poked it with a stick.
I walked through what once had been the weather controlling circle of magic that was supposed to keep the cold out of the Crystal Empire, and flew forward until we reached the train station. The snow had long since built up and halfway covered the train that Twilight and I had ridden in on together just last night. Or was it two nights ago? The constant activity made it hard to tell.
I gritted my teeth at my own bumbling idiocy for that incident. If only I had taken up the Alicorn Amulet and killed Chrysalis sooner, none of this would have been happening! Then we could have stayed in Ponyville…or gotten around to getting Twilight the kingdom she deserved. With a castle instead of a stupid tree house! Titles of nobility for her friends and estates worthy for the heroes they were! The fact that none of them had been given ANYTHING AFTER SAVING THE WORLD MULTIPLE…
Doing my best to get all that junk out of my head, I checked my reserves. The stopover in Ponyville hadn’t been too draining to the mana pool I had to draw from, and the amulet had managed to refill a good third of the way on the flight over. It gave me a good estimate of how fast its reserves filled up, but I didn’t need to wait a whole ten hours for a full recharge, what I had was good enough.
“Well, time to get this over with, shall we?” I mumbled to no one in particular before clearing my throat and speaking up.
“Let the unworthy Queen of the Changeling’s come forth! Let justice be done upon her!”
A stolen line, but fitting all things considered.
It had the desired effect as well, as did the presence of my army. This time, there were no mental magic attacks from fifteen miles away with a squadron of goons to carry the food for her, this time, hundreds of little black dots came flying out of the Crystal Palace, if not the entirety of the group that Chrysalis had brought with her. At first, they didn’t look like much. But as the seconds passed and the swarm came closer, it began to fill my vision. However, the only one I had eyes on was the insect with the glowing hairdo.
Chrysalis floated over and landed in front of me while the rest of her part of the swarm stayed in the air. “How are you still alive?”
“Luck mostly,” I lied. It wasn’t as if the bug could ever hope to kill me. “The hive has decided that I would make a better leader Mother. Step down and I’ll end your life quickly.”
The monster glowered at me. “Do you honestly think I will stand for this?” Chrysalis demanded. “Who are you to challenge me, child?” She turned her attention to the other insects. “I am the one who has brought victory to the hive. With the power I possess, Celestia and Luna will be crushed AND EQUESTRIA WILL BE OURS!”
“Are you even listening to yourself now?” I yelled back. “While the unicorns could still raise the sun should Celestia disappear, the day they go extinct is the day everything on this planet dies! Look around fool, continuing on our path of hunting creatures to extinction will lead to our own fall if the ponies die out!”
Chrysalis laughed. “You are the one who is short-sighted, child,” the insect replied. “Once I have taken down the sisters and gained control of the sun and moon, all the other races of this world will offer sacrifice unto us in order to keep the day and night going. No longer will we have to hunt for our prey, but they shall be freely offered.”
Oh crap. …I hated to admit it, but…her idea wasn’t half bad. Hell, wouldn’t be the first time an archaic culture sacrificed things to try and affect the stars. Her idea may not nearly as good as mine of course, but still…not half bad. Although, it was still half baked, and I could use that to keep my army from deciding to turn on me. “You actually think you can control the sun and the moon?” I laughed. “You expect the hive to believe that? You really are a moron!”
“Observe,” Chrysalis replied before looking up to the air. First, she fired a ball of condensed kinetic energy into the clouds that detonated and blew an open hole in the sky large enough to remove the snow around the Crystal Empire and reveal the stars and moon above.
For a moment, I was struck by indecision. If Chrysalis actually could move the moon, it would probably take a good chunk of her energy reserves, but meant I would lose my army. While wearing her down would have helped me, there was no way I was up to fighting her and the ninety-five hundred changelings that surrounded us if they turned on me.
Even I would have been hard pressed to take care of that many of them.
So while the bitch queen had her attention on the skies, I quickly circled around to her side and leaped towards with my hooves extended while flying at full speed. “In that case, I challenge you for leadership of the hive in trial by combat!” I yelled.
Chrysalis noticed the motion a bit too soon for my liking, telling me I should have kept my mouth shut. But when she only brought down her horn to counter mine like I was hoping, my hooves reached up and took her in the lower neck where it met the barrel and I grabbed on for all it was worth while pushing her eastward as fast as I was able to fly before she could get her wings working properly or figure to how to knock me off.
Even in Equestria some laws of physics still held. In this case, when a changeling slams into another of comparable size going at a few hundred miles an hour, that changeling has to move.
Of course the idiot didn’t try to use her own hooves against me. Like everything on this planet with a telekinetic horn, they just used it for everything and neglected a good old pair of hooves. Unlike me, who had the foresight to be a pegasus for a week so I could get used to using them... Well, it hadn’t really been my choice, it was more like destiny had thought I needed a little extra practice with them and stuck me with the Flash Sentry role so I could brush up on them.
So with destiny’s foresight helping me out, I was able to get Chrysalis a good half mile away from the city before an eruption of magic from her horn caused a blast of kentic energy that managed to force even me away from her.
I slid along the ground and recovered before taking back up into the air and flying right back at her again while casting a tiny bit of magic on myself while Chrysalis began pumping magic into her horn for a spell.
“Insolent-”
“SHUT UP”
Judging from how the changeling monarch wobbled in flight, the amplified voice I used at least disrupted her concentration. Although I wouldn’t have been too angry if the magic had blown out her eardrums and maybe killed her equilibrium. Still, I moved in for the kill by channeling a great deal of magic in my twisted horn to increase its tensile strength in the hopes of piercing her armor.
Then my head felt like it exploded when Chrysalis’s hoof became wrapped in green fire to strike my horn as a counter attack, and the next thing I knew the changeling queen struck me dead center in the chest with a spell that shattered the chitin armor I had been wearing and sent me careening into the ground.
Ugh, where the super anti-magic armor when I really need it? I asked myself. Stupid Aztec storm god mantel, I was even willing to accept the existence of Daring Do if I could have taken that thing into combat with me.
Not that I needed it of course, but it sure as hell would cut down on the headaches.
“Did you honestly think you could challenge me?” Chrysalis shouted.
“Can you honestly hear what I’m saying?” I asked before conjuring a good ton of snow right above the queen’s head to buy me time for a takeoff. The stuff melted a two seconds later, and she was on me in three.
Still, it did give me enough time to pump half my mana into my horn and focus it into a single shot that struck the changeling queen dead center. It was a concentrated, focused burst that hit with the force of…well, something really forceful that knocked the changeling queen back several hundred feet until she slammed into the ground and bounced a few times. After a good minute of travel, she finally came skidding to a stop.
Above her I mentally congratulated myself on my victory…then she got back up and seemed to pop a crick out of her neck before looking up at me with a frown. The scene was quite depressing on two levels. The first being that Chrysalis was apparently unharmed in the slightest, and the second being that if she had managed to roll with a forceful blast that took half of the energy I had left.
Which meant there was no way in hell I would be breaking through her exoskeleton.
“You know for an uber god amulet of awesomeness, you’re starting to really suck red kryptonite,” I mumbled to the Alicorn Amulet.
Down below, Chrysalis let out a laugh and slowly rose to my level in the sky. Whatever minor damage I had done, she had probably already healed on her way up. “I can sense your fear child.”
“Oh, please don’t tell me we can rule Equestria as mother and son,” I deadpanned.
Apparently, Chrysalis didn’t get the reference and her mouth twisted into a snarl. “Now you wish to beg for forgiveness child?” she demanded.
That’s right get a dialogue started, I told myself. Since she was cheating and the whole ‘hit her really hard’ plan didn’t seem to work, I needed time to formulate another one. Stupid chatter would give me that.
“Oh come on, do you honestly think your plan has any chance of working out in the long term? You couldn‘t even come up with a decent idea for killing Twilight Sparkle, and now you think controlling the movements of the heavens is going to help you? I‘m the one who thought up everything Chrysalis, and I can think of plenty of reasons why yours is going to fail.” I asked her while going over the facts I knew. Changelings didn’t need defensive spells because we were always wrapped in our natural armor, which was reinforced by our magic. In essence, we always had a protective shield in place. But, that shield wasn’t without flaws.
Chrysalis scoffed. “Now you’re stalling for time?”
I frowned at the changeling. Since when had see gotten an IQ upgrade? Did love double as brain food or something? “No,” I assured her with a fake smirk while I circled her slowly until Chrysalis was between me and the city of crystal. “But since this will all be remembered by the hive mind, I really need to say something cool before I kill you. So, you can you give me a minute to think of a nice one liner?”
Not even a second later, the changeling’s horn lit faster than I could ever hope to charge mine, and she added her less than original catchphrase to give the magical beam a little extra kick. “DIE!”
Too close to dodge, I pumped as much magic into my hooves as I could and blocked the beam with my armored hooves before there was a bright flash. The next moment I found myself flying through the air absent my own will. For a minute I wondered why I could no longer feel my fingers. Then I hit the snow and slid until the ground was kind enough to put a rather large rock in my way that cracked when I hit it.
Okay, keep it together, I told myself while black spots danced across my vision. I was pretty sure that was a bad sign.
One of the black spots started to radiate with power, and I barely realized it was Chrysalis before she shot at me again with a green magical energy bolt from a hundred feet up.
I accessed the amulet’s library of spells and conjured a few tons of solid granite in midair for Chrysalis’s attack to strike and blow into little chunks, then I scrambled to my feet as fast as possible when I couldn’t feel half my body and got into the air fast enough to avoid a trio of quick bursts Chrysalis sent through the cloud of debris towards my general location.
Options ran through my mind as I sped away from the queen. Think, think, think…our outer shell reduces magical and physical damage, and I can’t break through it with one shot, and I can’t hit her enough times repeatedly to eventually crack it.
With the queen still above me, I dodged and weaved to avoid potshot after potshot thanks to our distance giving me more than enough room to get away from the attacks. If Chrysalis was trying to kill me, she was starting to get stupid again. So I was pretty sure the bitch was just playing with me. I made a mental note to do some gloating before I killed her. But the chase was serving its purpose. Unfortunately, I had long ago crossed into the area that the snow was falling on and it was getting somewhat annoying.
Mental magic is out against changelings…so…I don’t really have some tricky trick to pull out and smack her with here, do I? I needed to penetrate her defenses or go for a weak point. Unfortunately, the only real holes in the defense of a changeling’s armor were their mouth and eyes. And to hit her with a killing blow, I’d probably have to stab my horn into one of them before releasing a concussion blast strong enough to pulp her brain.
Well…it’s…doable, I thought to myself. All I would have to do is out horn fight a being that was confident enough to go at it against Celestia and stab my much shorter appendage into a small vital point that was quite literally half her field of vision. No…biggie.
After another energy beam struck the ground beside me I twisted and fired a magical blast of my own. Just like with pretty much everything else I threw, Chrysalis didn’t even bother dodging the attack and it struck her. A second later, the conjuration magic changed the air around her into a cloud of black smoke, obscuring her view as I flew upwards as fast as I cloud.
A blast of hurricane force winds blew away the smoke before I could reach its edge, and then Chrysalis met my charge with another eruption of magical force that expanded outwards from her in a sphere that made me feel as if I had gotten hit by a semi-truck going seventy.
Between the sound of…something breaking and the air rushing out of my lungs, I managed to tell myself, right outward shockwave forgot she could do that, before crashing into the snow below hard enough I’m pretty sure my left arm, or whatever the hell it was, became dislocated when I landed on it.
Pain was pushed back by whatever changeling’s used to pass for adrenaline, and I rolled onto my back in time to see Chrysalis slam into my stomach hard enough to crack my outer shell. I would have let out a manly cry of pain, but air had yet to be reacquainted with my lungs.
Then I got punched, or kicked in the nose as the parent to child abuse continued. After the fourth blow, I learned that a changeling’s natural armor might have been a bit weak around that area, because I heard a wet crunch and blood started dripping into my mouth from the thing that had once been my nasal cavity.
Once I was thoroughly beaten within an inch of my life, Chrysalis finally seemed to lay off a little, then looked down at my chest. “What’s this little one?” she asked while grabbing hold of the Alicorn Amulet. “I can feel a twinge of power within it. Is it the reason for the change in your magic?”
“Well you’ve got your mystical do-dad, and I’ve got mine,” I replied after taking some effort to suck in some breath.
Chrysalis smiled at me. “I think I’ll take it then. With the Crystal Heart empty and those crystal ponies not feeling very generous, I need a new toy to play with.”
Oh god, you mean she ate the whole thing? I asked myself while the changeling yanked on my jewelry. Of course, with her stupid make sacrifices to the changelings to keep the sun in the sky plan, Chrysalis really didn’t need the love battery to keep the hive fed for the next few decades. With the entire population of the world to give tithes, she could expand her influence across the whole thing as long as she didn’t get too greedy and eat everything…which she would. That was her problem with your cliche villains like Chrysalis and Hitler, they always wanted more.
She reached down and pulled at the amulet for a few moments while I lay motionless. I couldn’t help but think back to one of the older Wolverine VS Hulk comics where the Hulk ripped Wolverine in half while the mutant was thinking to himself, ‘stupid adamantium, unbreakable metal my ass’ before the Hulk tossed him off a mountain. I was really hoping that wasn’t the case with the amulet.
“Ugh!” Chrysalis grunted as she went to tugging on the jewelry with her magic. “Why won’t this thing come off!”
I chuckled at her attempts. “Sorry, but…the necklace can only be removed from my body by the one who wears it,” I told her before giving the monster standing on top of me a snaky grin. “Even after I die, the magic of the amulet will still be bound to me since I’m never taking it off. Tough luck.” It was a lie…far as I knew, but hey…getting to spit one last time in the bad guy’s eye was well worth it.
After seeing me snatch a victory from the jaws of defeat…sort of, Chrysalis let out a cry of rage and slammed her hoof down onto my chest where said magical artifact was, and I grunted while trying not to cough up too much blood from the damage. I also noticed that blowing bubbles with a mixture of blood and whatever passed for snot in my nose felt weird. But the mind notices those sorts of things when the body is in trouble.
Then Chrysalis reared up in an all too ‘this is the end for you’ in of way before her hooves burst into green fire. She brought them both down on the Alicorn Amulet which rested atop what would have been my collarbone had I been human.
For the fourth or fifth time that night…to be honest I didn’t know and didn’t really like the idea of keeping score of how badly I was getting my ass kicked, the world exploded in pain. I felt my external skeleton shatter and my internal one not fare much better before the green fire washed over my body. It seemed to seep into the many cracks my armor had developed as it surrounded my body in a conflagration for several seconds.
When it was over, I felt a new rush of pain and panic overtake me as I realized just how seriously screwed I was. I still had about half the amount of magical energy I started this fight with, but there was no way Chrysalis was going down from that level of attack. I was going to die, and what was worse, the fact that this only increased my heart rate sent new waves of pain throughout my body all the faster with every beat.
Chrysalis on the other hand, seemed to have found something uproariously funny, because she threw back her head and gave one of those diabolical evil laughs that villains just love to do before the bad guy’s about to win.
I had to wonder what all had changed between the moment that I was hopelessly outmatched a few seconds ago, to when I was hopelessly outmatched at this very moment. Then she showed me, after reaching down to grab a piece of my chest and rip off some of my exoskeleton with a sickening tearing sound, she raised the Alicorn Amulet up into my field of vision.
For an ancient artifact of ultimate power, it looked pretty…totaled. The gemstone in the center had been shattered, and turned from a bright red to dull maroon. Although I was a little more disturbed that the wings had been dented around the piece of my outer layer that she had just peeled off. Even through the pain, I managed to get a thought in my head. She broke the damn thing, I told myself while thinking I’d been gypped on my super magic artifact. It was no wonder I felt like crap. Whatever false sense of confidence the amulet had provided went up in smoke, and I found myself being smacked with a cold, hard reality: I was so royally screwed.
“Any last words?” Chrysalis asked me as I struggled just to breathe. Surprisingly, she actually waited around for a minute while I got my mind in order and air into my lungs.
It was a strange thing, looking up and seeing I was going to die. I didn’t reflect on my regrets or past mistakes, what was the point? Kicking myself for being an idiot on so many things wouldn’t have changed the past. So, I thought of something to say that would really piss the changeling Queen off, send her into a frenzy and maybe have her use so much power blowing me to pieces that it would have cost her a long-term victory.
As least I tried to. In the middle of trying to come up with an explication of how Chrysalis was going to lose in the long run, my changeling eyes that were used to extremely low light conditions caught sight of something rather large coming through the clouds and filling the sky with the image of a giant rock.
It actually took me a moment to realize that was I was seeing was a huge meteorite descending on us at a somewhat less than possible speed.
So with a giant meteor that was about to crack the earth in two headed towards us. All I could do is smirk and say, “Luna is best princess.” Then I laughed at our impending death, and pointed to the rock descending towards us. I didn’t care how hard her armor was, the sheer weight of how many tons of rock I was looking at would juice her organs.
Chrysalis turned and looked behind her, and I continued to laugh like a madman while her horn lit up and…a meteor big enough to kill everything in a thousand-plus miles just stopped in midair. A moment later, Chrysalis lowered her horn and fired a single blast at the rock held in her telekinetic grip, and the entire meteor just up and vanished.
I gapped at the sight while my brain tried to form a coherent thought other than: That’s just not fair. So what if unicorn horns were the middle finger ponies gave to physics? Seeing something that big just get removed from existence like it was nothing had been pretty discouraging.
The four alicorns I saw hovering in the air above us were also a sight that made me wince. Celestia and Luna were flanked by Cadence and Twilight as they descended from above what had been the cloud-bank to just a few hundred feet off the ground.
“All this time…you were drawing me away from my palace!” Chrysalis said through gritted teeth.
With the slight possibility of me not dying in the next several minutes becoming a possibility, my survival instinct kicked in and I gulped down all the HA-HAs and every smarmy comment that came to mind…and there were a lot of them.
“That’s my palace,” Cadence shouted from her place next to Celestia. “And yes! While…your former companion drew you away from the palace, Luna and Celestia were able to free me and Twilight as well as all of my subjects and the pegasi you tricked into coming north!”
I ignored the fact the pause probably meant Cadence had no idea what my real name was, and frowned. Well guess that explains the meteor. Although, even at this distance, I don’t think the city would have avoided… wait…that means they were trying to kill me and my entire army! Fuck you…whoever put Luna up to it. My money was on Celestia.
I was actually surprised to see them at all. But, I supposed with the changeling army just sitting around waiting for me or Chrysalis to win like I had told my numerically superior forces to do before this whole thing started, attacking us now was a better option than just going home, building their own army, and attempting to retake the Crystal Empire after it had been properly fortified.
Chrysalis apparently thought the whole thing was rather funny by her chuckles. Apparently forgetting about me for the moment, she walked up and out of the small crater that her beating had pounded us into, and looked to the four alicorns glaring down at her.
“Two of you couldn’t even hope to harm me, and you think four is going to make a difference?”
What the hell are they doing here anyway? This wasn’t part of the plan…
-Ponyville 10 hours ago-
“…this is why I don’t hang out with you,” I told the orange mare.
Still hopped up on red kryptonite as I had been at the time, I was pissed off enough to magic AJ’s hat a few sizes larger, then let it drop over her head before the thing clapped shut and muffled her complaints.
“I have come as agreed,” Celestia growled. “Now release them!”
With AJ basically muzzled and the rest of the girls just looking at me in confusion for the farm pony’s too soon announcement showing my awesome righteousness and all that, I turned to Celesta and rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I never said anything about releasing them. Besides…” I looked over to Rainbow Dash as she glared right back at me. “Half of them would buck my teeth in the second I did,” I replied before turning back to Celestia. “Eh, quite frankly, I’m surprised you showed. Nice to know you care for them even a little. After you gave Twilight that cutie mark swapping spell that ruined their lives with no way to change them back unless she did what the so-called greatest unicorn ever couldn’t help but wonder if you just think of them as…oh let’s just go with every pony in Equestria while we’re at it, they’re your pets in your little toy kingdom.”
While Celestia glowered at me, Rarity asked the obvious question. “H-How do you know about that?”
“Oh um…me and Twilight might have mentioned it while we were looking for Daring Do,” Rainbow told her.
Before the anypony could jump on Rainbow for blabbing, I stepped in and saved her. “Actually, I knew about that long before you voiced your doubts Rainbow, not to mention the fact you left out the part where Fluttershy’s animals had tied you up in a kettle and were fixing to cook you alive,” I told her. And the real scary thing was that those animals still lived with Fluttershy. I did not understand ponies at all!
“I also know about the Iron Pony competition the Running of the Leaves and the horseshoe game that basically caused it, what Rarity was really doing for that week she was in Canterlot with her ‘sick’ cat, the kind of party Pinkie throws when nopony is friendly to her for too long, the fact Big Mac has Twilight’s old doll somewhere tucked away in his house, and to just skip to the end of this little song and dance and show you all something to prove I’m not a normal changeling that just used mind control magic to learn your darkest secrets,” I said before accessing the amulet’s library of spells and creating a projection of light and sound that played out the part of Magical Mystery Cure that only Twilight and Celestia had been present for, complete with musical accompaniment from my memories as a human.
By the time it was over, most of the mane six were staring opened mouthed, and even a few of the hidden residents of the town had come out to watch the show until their goddess waved them all back inside. Celestia looked only a little impressed. “The imagery of your thought projection needs work, that whole sequence was far too flat and lacking in detail,” she told me.
Well of course it does, it’s a cartoon you idiot, I mentally told the horse. Although it was kind of creepy how their colors matched up, but were just…really detailed 3D. A week in Ponyville and I still hadn’t gotten used to that.
“Just how do you know of this?” the sun goddess asked.
“Well I’ll put it into words your tiny little brain can comprehend,” I replied. “I belong to a race of beings who have learned to use a magic that allows us to view other worlds through…well, a mirror. It’s not really a mirror, but it’s the closest thing you are going to understand. One day while I was feeling bored out of my mind and a little depressed, a spark of magic caught my scrying spell’s attention and I ended up seeing the whole Nightmare Moon debacle when she was cleansed by the Elements of Harmony. It kind of caught my interest, and so I had my spell latch onto an important event and record it for later perusal after it cut off a lot of the boring stuff. So you don’t have to worry about otherworldly strangers watching you sleep or anything too personal. And the…visual change was a side effect of seeing things through a looking glass.” Ooo I like that, okay from now on human voyeurs use looking glasses.
“Why?”
I shrugged. “Boredom mostly. My race has pretty much explored all we can where we come from, learned all we can, perfect society and so forth. There’s not that much left to do besides escapism. We have sports and games and such, but there’s no real excitement or mystery to it. Even interpersonal relationships get stale after awhile when we all do as expected,” I told her before smirking. “But to see a story unfold, watch beings actually discover things about life for the first time and the joy they experience from it. It revitalizes us, lets us look at things from a new angle or perspective.”
Celestia let out a long, knowing sigh and nodded her head. “I suppose I can understand that sentiment,” she admitted before meeting my eyes. “And if everything you said is true, what are you doing here? Or perhaps I should ask, why are there not more creatures that are like you here?”
“Because coming here was a complete…well, I don’t know,” I admitted. Even I had lapses in my genius level of creativity sometimes. “One minute I was at my home in front of a looking glass, then there was a…surge of power, and the next thing I knew, I woke up in the changeling hive as the newest member of their royalty. Then I got tasked with the mission of getting rid of Twilight Sparkle and infiltrated her royal guard unit by striking them while they were on their way to Ponyville and replacing them. After that, I threw away the queen’s orders and decided to just wait and see what happened. I had no intention of actually following my orders, but I had to at least hang around the area.”
Applejack, who had been silent up until a moment ago, said something beneath her hat, and I was forced to let her out to see if she was at least talking sense. “That still don’t excuse what you did!” she told me.
“And what exactly did I do?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.
A loud humph came from Celestia before she spoke. “You stand there with five mares and a hatchling in your grip next to three guards in a cocoon and say you have no knowledge of wrongdoing?”
“Really? You’re really going to start this whole moral high ground thing with me Tia?”
Celestia blinked. “Tia?”
I frowned at the complete lack of recognition from the alicorn. “You’ve never been called that?”
“…not once,” Celestia replied, thoroughly killing SO much in the way of fannon with those two simple words. It made me a little…disappointed actually.
“Hey, Fairy’s right, Princess Tia totally sounds more friendly than a full on Celestia!” Pinkie explained.
I turned and gaped at the little pony, taking a moment to work what she had just said through my head. “W-what did you just call me?”
“Fairy,” Pinkie said before launching into one of her light speed explanations. “Because you’ve got those clear wings, and magic, and you’re a changeling, and your name is Omnifarious, but Omni just sounds too silly and Ious isn’t much of a nickname, so your Fari, but since it sounds like Fairy when you say Omnifarious! So you’re new nickname should be Fairy!”
Unfortunately, she was done before I had the time to take away her mouth, so I just groaned and looked back to Celestia. “Look, long story short, I knew Chrysalis would try something eventually, I just didn’t think it would actually work! If she had tried for the Crystal Heart while Shining Armor and Cadence had been there, they probably could have handled her the way they did at the wedding, but since they came down for my stupid promotion celebration…which they probably wouldn’t have if they thought Twilight’s emotional state was just fine instead of about to attend Flash Sentry’s funeral…and I got distracted by…well, Twilight to see where everything was headed in time.”
With my story finished, I glared across the way at Celestia, daring her to challenge my claims with her stupid wannabe all-knowing crap. But she showed a modicum of intelligence by simply nodding and giving me two words. “I see.”
Then she deferred to my superior intelligence. “Then given everything you’ve said and done to bring me here…I take it you have some sort of proposal? A plan of attack? Being a changeling, you would know the Queen’s capabilities better than anypony. And considering you claims, I take it you know Equestria’s capabilities if you truly can…well, I have seen the proof, so I suppose you do have a magic to peer through the veil between worlds.”
I frowned at her, but this time only in confusion. “Actually, I really don’t know much at all about Equestria’s military potential. And the stuff I’ve gone over since coming here just involves unicorn magic and a lot of history that nopony ever talks about. Why would you think I know anything about that?”
“You just said your scrying follows important ponies,” Celestia challenged.
Oh…I get it… I repressed a smile while thinking of a way to break this to her in the most cruel way possible. “Yes, the Elements of Harmony, and Princess Luna. From time to time, there are also snippets of the Cutie Mark Crusaders as well as Spike, but those are the only focuses.” Translation: You’re not important and SPIKE is more interesting than you!
If Celestia had been affected by the news, she didn’t show it. “I see,” she said while clearly hiding her tears.
“And we don’t need an army,” I told her.
“Yeah! We’ll take care of that overgrown bug ourselves!”
For the first time since obtaining ultimate power with the amulet, a shiver of fear ran down my spine at Rainbow Dash’s words. I whirled on her in a fury. “You will not be doing anything of the kind! You ALL will be staying right here where it is safe even if I have to put this stupid town under another giant magical fish bowl to make sure that you do!”
Before the others could protest, I whiled on Celestia. “And if my plan does work, you can take care of all of this without losing a single pony in battle!” I told her. “I draw out the queen and engage her in one on one combat, having the changelings under my control,” when I take control of them that is, but she doesn’t need to know that, “sideline hers until the duel is complete. That will leave you the time you need to rescue Twilight and the others.”
“Why would you be willing to take all the risk?” Celestia asked, ignoring the cries of MOTHER from the ponies floating behind me.
“Oh, I have no intentions of doing things this way for free,” I assured Celestia. “What I want is…”
I groaned as I looked up at the sight above me, with the four alicorns floating in the sky while Celestia and Chrysalis bantered back in forth like all big shots did before the big showdown. I didn’t really care to listen, using a good portion of my remaining magic to heal my body was more important.
Regenerating my exoskeleton was out of the question, but I was able to pop my foreleg back into place and get some feeling in my hooves again. Movement also become possible as the sun and cockroach queens babbled, although it was just a delay of the inevitable.
I had been acting with my own little super weapon, and had gotten my ass handed to me rather thoroughly when Chrysalis was barely even trying. If sun butt was able to pierce the grand bitch’s defenses, I’d turn into a mare and play out a fucking clop scene with Flash Sentry himself!
And just why were they here? It didn’t make any sense!
Okay, just stop focusing on that and think, I told myself. I still had about thirty-five percent of the mana reserves had had since the start of the fight, there must have been something I could do!
A petrifaction spell…was transformation magic, and thus no use against changelings.
A want-it-need spell cast on a rock for a distraction…was mind magic, and therefore also useless on changelings.
A conjuration of an electric collar or something similar…wasn’t in the purview of my changeling magic without the alicorn amulet.
I resisted the urge to groan as to keep my apparently forgotten presence out of Chrysalis’s mind for a few more seconds. She had forgotten about me with the appearance of Celestia since I was no longer a threat, and that was the only chance I had of surviving until…she had put the alicorns in comas and turned around to finish me off.
GOD DAMN IT THINK YOU IDIOT! I shouted at myself. The only hope I have is striking at a weak spot in her armor. That means the left eye, the right eye, or the mouth. Those are the only real holes in a changeling’s defenses!
I glared up at the changeling queen with hatred in my eyes. All of which I’ll never hit! Stupid changeling queen and her stupid invincible…wait a minute…she’s a queen…that means she has to have some kind of…oh god, I’m not actually considering this…am I?
Chrysalis threw her head back in laughter.
Yeah, okay…I am, I thought to myself as I rolled over onto my stomach as quietly as I could and took aim.
Despite my weeks of not wanting to think about it, I did know my own changeling anatomy…including the opening where the eggs came from. A part of changeling anatomy that wasn’t protected by our outer covering all that well.
So that’s where I jammed my horn. Chrysalis’s laugher came to an end, and I released 99% of my remaining magical energy as a blast of destructive power meant to fry her organs in one giant burst.
The laughter stopped.
We both fell over.
And I managed to just finish removing my horn from Chrysalis's feminine weak spot before the alicorns landed.
“Thou hadst hope this is removed from final cut, young changeling queen,” Luna spoke, making me extremely confused. When the hell did she go back to Shakespeare in the Park talk?
Twilight was beside me a moment later. I expected to be chewed out but all that I could see in her eyes was worry. “Flash! Flash, are you alright?” However, her emotions told a different story. She was angry, confused, panicked, glad, relieved and-
“Fear not, young Princess Sparkle, for the evil of Queen Chrysalis has been undone!” the Princess of the Night said as lightning flashed in the background and she…struck a dramatic pose?
Forcing myself to get enough air to talk, I asked the question that needed to be. “W…Why?”
“Flash, save your strength,” Twilight told me, confusing the hell out of me even more when all my logic said she should be crying over me be a changeling or…something. “And umm…I think you have some…stuff on your…horn.”
But, even with Twilight pleading with me, I couldn’t stop myself. “Why…is Luna…acting crazy?”
“Umm…I really don’t know,” Twilight replied. “She’s been like this since I was released.”
“You’re the one who told me she has the most fans and why,” Celestia deadpanned. “And I hide nothing from my sister.”
“Indeed! If Our supporters through the looking glass do prefer Our speech to be in the royal We, then it shall be so!” Luna proclaimed dramatically while Celestia rolled her eyes and Cadence raised an eyebrow at the mare’s antics.
After taking a step away from Luna, who was striking another pose, the Princess of Love looked over to her aunt. “Okay, crisis is over. Would somepony please explain to me what’s going on?”
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Out of the two *ahem* exposed weak points, I think he chose the better one.
I'm really interested in this explanation^^
Okay, that was gross even by my standards... Or maybe not. Could we have a picture or something?
Next chapter, pls!
Anti-Vaginal burst-slam attack was pretty clever move.
Backstabbing winner. Ugh.
4294729 encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSpGZcgFxBBjX8vkC7FMYStfLHXewnaDlT-NkZHiHE-Y-7r3speb1992w
I definitely dont want to see that
4294544
Yes, it would be most amusing to hear Celestia try and explain what Fairy told them.
4295385
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSpGZcgFxBBjX8vkC7FMYStfLHXewnaDlT-NkZHiHE-Y-7r3speb1992w
Yep, I'm sure no one wants to see that.
4294477
For else it would be a shitty attack
4296057
in my fic, changelings don't have a digestive system. All the food they take in is covered to green goo they can regurgitate later as moldable chitin that can be crafted into cocoons, armor, and the like. Hince why the main character has to throw up before going to eat so he has room to hold more material.
And that's why only the queens would have a soft spot behind them as it is the exit for when it comes time to lay eggs.
4296122
Now you are just ruining my bad pun
by the way, love your story
4296122
Well this story is going to end soon, so are going to make a sequel maybe with Sombra as the main villain or maybe some G1 villains like Grogar and Tirek?
And if you're here some Ideas:
And where was Discord when all of that was happing?
Might edit this post later.
4296747
Yes there's going to be a sequel.
Getting to Ponyville is easy, LIVING THERE is the challenge.
4296771
I can see it being similar to this show 3rd Rock from the Sun.
Uhm...That attack was...disturbing...The mental image is a bit much for me...
And so...he become the changeling queen...and love is provide to the changeling by magic cloning...technology...magic...whatever.
He just turned from an average human male to a relatively powerful changeling queen with an army.
That is cool.
Uhm...
I'm surprised at how many downvotes this has... it's certainly better written than 90% of the HiE fics on this site.
The looking-glass explanation is well thought out compared to the "You're all fictional" line that gets brought out occasionally.
Luna is surprisingly into this.
4296122
So our protag is SHE? Or he? Knowing your changeling lore i think its first. But protag hold masculine features...im confused.
4296771
Wanna protag`s doodle art?
4298074
In the strictest sense the main character is an it. Changelings are gender neutral. Omnifarious simply had more masculine facial features while Chrissy had more feminine but they are both equally non-gender. Like when you get a man-ish looking girl or a pretty guy, just because they look like the opposite gender on the outside doesn't make it so.
4298708
So. He is hermaphrodite?
4298739
it's more like a jellyfish and other marine life that can fertilize their own eggs. You're thinking in mammalian terms while there's plenty of insects and fish that really defy the boy/girl classification by reproducing in a way that basically clones themselves.
A changeling queen would be a hermaphrodite in a sense that they could be either gender if you used very limited definitions, but in a wider sense the reproduction system is just so different that it defies a gender classification.
Think of it like this, what kind of gender would you give a jellyfish, or a single cell creature like an amoeba?
4298873
Ah...poor Twi...
4298873
dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/81530720/Omni.jpg
eh, they might work it out. i mean hes only a genderless changeling royal that has a negative reputation, along with creating the plan that allowed chrysalis to gain the Crystal Heart in the first place, and basically cause the entire problem....so he may have a chance, if the alicorns don't kill him first
And thus, with an act of ovipositorial matriregicide, the reign of King Omnifarious The Impaler has begun.
gaped
Is part of that paragraph missing? I can't tell why they would cry out "mother" during that scene.
Omg! A changling Queen killed by getting a magic blast in the vagina? One of the funniest shit I have ever read!
*in the voice of ShadyVox*
Fairy, what are you doing? No, don't put your horn in there. Oh g** no! Don't put it in there! This is getting really strange.
...
*back in my own voice*
I shouldn't have read this while eating lunch. I think I just lost my appetite... due to guilty pleasure.
I will admit. Outside Caligula I've never heard of anything where where someone jams something into a vagina to kill a girl... You've done it XD
You know, that would have been the perfect opportunity to say "boop."
Chryssy's death reminds me of he end of this.
Wow that was an undignified way to go. I had to read it twice to make sure it was what really happened....
Then I laughed until I fell of my chair.
Well, this was... weird.
5080547
No, it's a great place to reference Die Hard.
Yippie-kai-boop, motherfucker.
4835449 I'd say Vlad the Impaler, but I'm not sure if he killed many women that way as I doubt there were many female invaders of his kingdom.
6116206 That's the scary thing about Vlad, he also impaled villagers that broke his laws and foreigners that just happened to be on his land in order to send a message to their homelands: Don't Fuck with the Lord Impaler.
I had to resist the urge to shove my hove into Pinkie’s skull and let whatever passed for grey matter inside that thing leak out. “And how do you know we were changelings
hoof
http://www.gotquestions.org/how-can-I-be-saved.html
God, what a blast
finally gave this story a like after almost reading though it in one day, entirely because of the last few paragraphs.
MOONPONY BEST PONY
damnit luna, come here ill give you a hug
Winces. Ouch.
To be honest I was thinking about this weak spot myself when she was thinking about which 'holes' Chrysalis had. But I didn't think Fairy would actually go for it!
Disadvantage of this of course is that this way of defeating a great threat is a tad...anticlimactic. Maybe that's only my view, but I expected explosions, tearing flesh, and some final last words, and so on.
Okay now I understand the situation and I admit I like it,...at least more now.
Fairy uses Kakashies 1000 years of death on Chrysalis.
IT'S SUPPER EFFECTIVE!!
Changelings
changelings used
gaped
fanon
whirled
hadst best
me being
but if you say that, it sounds like "Princestia"
I see Pinkie's continuing the Aladdin gig ("Laddie!")
Hmm. Story in the feature box lately about that.
8084060
now that's what i call a "critical hit"!
8291299
Chrysalis was visited by the not so happy Fairy.
Right in the baby cannon...
Well. That happened. I was not expecting that to happen, but I guess that's why it did...
Did MC just? ..............okaaayyyyyyy
Keking.