• Published 10th Mar 2014
  • 1,625 Views, 22 Comments

The Muffin House Rules - Brolkier



Something seems different about Ponyville's resident mailmare, but nopony can quite put their hoof on it. Whatever it is, it's causing quite a stir in Ponyville, and everypony can't get enough of her.

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Act 5 - If you had fillies, you'd understand.

Act 5 – If you had fillies of your own, you’d understand.

“What do you mean you can’t change my eyes back!?” Derpy yelled at Doctor Stable, who was sitting behind his desk.

Doctor Stable adjusted his glasses, before answering the disgruntled mare.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Hooves, but the entire process is irreversible. The whole purpose of medical surgeries is to fix problems, not cause them.”

Derpy stomped her hoof on the ground.

“But there was nothing wrong with my eyes before! They weren’t a problem!”

Doctor Stable then leaned on his desk, placing his hooves together.

“Then why did you agree to have the surgery Mrs. Hooves?”

“Because!...because…” Derpy tried to respond, but found that she was having a hard time coming up with a reason.

Doctor Stable leaned back in his chair, letting out a sigh.

“Again, I’m sorry Mrs. Hooves, but there’s nothing more that I can do for you. My medical stance prevents me from going back on a case such as yours, and even if I could, I wouldn’t know where to start with changing your eyes back.”

Tears began to form in Derpy’s eyes.

“But…but this was all a big mistake. I should never have changed my eyes, and myself like I did. Because of all this, my own filly won’t even speak to me.”

“My condolences to you Mrs. Hooves.” Doctor Stable told Derpy.

Derpy turned around, and began to walk out of the office. She pushed open the door, but turned back to Doctor Stable one last time.

“If you had fillies of your own, you’d understand.” Derpy then closed the door behind her, and walked down the hall.

She still couldn’t believe it; “She could never go back to the way things were?” Those words echoed in her head, as she continued to walk. Derpy passed by some windows, overlooking the ground below. A cloud in the sky moved in front of the sun, causing enough shade to form, so that Derpy could see her reflection in the window. The mare she saw in the reflection wasn’t her. Her eyes were “normal”, and they appeared to look into her very soul.

Derpy placed on hoof on the window, blocking her reflection. Tears began to form once again.

“I just wish I could go back to the way I was. Stopped myself from ever being so stupid as to change myself. If only I could turn back time.” That last word sparked something in Derpy’s mind. Time, yes, she could just go back in time! She was married to the only pony in the universe, who had the capability to travel to any point in time! The Doctor!

The sun finally came back out from behind the cloud, as Derpy flew down the halls, and out the main entrance.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

The Doctor held his Sonic Screwdriver in his hoof, as he was trying to make calibrations to one of the machines in the TARDIS.

“Just a few more seconds, and everything should be…” The Doctor almost finished his sentence, but was cut short by Derpy bursting through the door of the TARDIS, causing him to drop his Sonic.

“Doctor, Doctor!” Derpy called out loud.

“Ah, yes, what is it Derpy?” The Doctor replied, while reaching down to pick up his Sonic.

Derpy spied The Doctor from behind the center console. She quickly made her way around the TARDIS, and jumped on top of The Doctor, pinning him to the ground.

“Doctor, you’ve got to take me back to before I got the surgery! I just can’t take it anymore!”

The Doctor was more than confused at this point, as he tried to turn himself around from underneath Derpy.

“What? What do you mean take you back?”

“I want to go back in time, to before I got that stupid surgery, so that I never let my eyes go to my head, and I never make Dinky cry. Please Doctor!”

The Doctor finally managed to roll over, and was met by the stare of Derpy’s weeping eyes. A couple tear drops fell and hit his face.

“I’m…I’m sorry Derpy…but I can’t.”

Derpy’s eyes grew wide, as she was starting to be overcome with fear.

“What? What do you mean you can’t? You’ve a time traveling pony, of course you can!”

The Doctor turned his gaze away, before he looked back at his wife.

“The event of you getting your surgery done is a fixed point in time, I can’t take you back. I also can’t allow you to go back in time and try to talk yourself out of it, as it would cause a paradox in the time space continuum, and the universe might collapse on itself.”

Derpy shook her head from side to side.

“I don’t care about boxes Doctor, I just don’t want to lose the love of my daughter. Dinky hates me!”

The Doctor managed to worm his way out from under Derpy, before he spoke to her again.

“Derpy, Dinky doesn’t hate you, she’s just disappointed that you weren’t there for her, we all were.” He reached up and placed a hoof on Derpy’s cheek. “No one hates you Derpy. You made a mistake, that’s all. We still love you.”

Derpy looked away from The Doctor, trying to sniffle up her tears.

“Sniff. But it feels like more than a mistake Doctor. You and Sparkler both saw how she just ran by me last night. It broke my heart, and I feel like I broke Dinky’s.”

The Doctor wrapped his hooves around his wife, hugging her.

“Derpy, everything will be alright. We’ll get through this, together.” He stopped hugging, and placed his hooves on Derpy’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s go get Dinky and Sparkler, and just talk this out.”

Derpy shook her head.

“No! I can’t look at my daughter’s again with these eyes! I won’t be able to speak to them again, not until my eyes go back to the way they were!” With that, Derpy turned and ran out of the TARDIS.

“Derpy wait!” The Doctor tried to call out to her from the door to the TARDIS.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

Derpy wasn’t sure how long she ran before she collapsed. With the idea of going back in time no longer an option, and knowing that the ponies at the hospital couldn’t help her, Derpy felt like she had no pony left to turn to. She started to think of what other options she had left.

She could go to Twilight? Twilight knew a whole bunch of amazing spells, and maybe she could find one to fix her eyes. Although; “How do you fix something to something considered broken?” Derpy dismissed the idea.

What about Zecora? She lived in the Everfree forest with all sorts of strange things, and knew even stranger remedies. Perhaps one of her mysterious cures could help her. Then again, just the thought of going into the Everfree forest by herself frightened her, and she didn’t know for sure if Zecora would even be able to help her. Derpy had a hard enough time just trying to understand her when she spoke.

One last thought. She had remembered how she had seen other ponies face go all weird, whenever they were hit on the head by something, like when she accidently dropped that piano on Twilight. However, even if it meant getting her eyes back to normal for a little bit, Derpy wasn’t sure how long the look would last, or if there would be any other side effects to hitting herself in the head with something. Also, she was pretty sure her family wouldn’t be very happy with the idea of Derpy hurting herself, just to change her eyes back.

Derpy sat there on the ground for a few more minutes, until she finally decided that maybe The Doctor was right. As far as she could tell, her eyes were going to stay like this for the rest of her life, and she was going to have to deal with them, and her family, together. With that, Derpy stood up, spread her wings, and flew home.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

Back at the Hooves household,

The Doctor walked out of the TARDIS in the backyard. He had moved it back there, and behind a tree, after Sparkler had lectured him about leaving the TARDIS in the house again. He couldn’t help it? He wasn’t fully used to driving with hooves yet, so when he had programmed the landing destination, he had been off by about a good twenty feet, or hooves, in this universe.

The Doctor walked back into the house, and into the kitchen. He opened up one of the cupboards, and pulled out a muffin, which he brought over to the table. He sat down in his chair, and was about to dig into the muffin, when he heard Derpy walk in the front door.

Derpy looked down, both in the sense of feeling down, and in looking at the floor while she walked. She didn’t start talking until she walked into the kitchen.

“Hey Doctor. After thinking it over, I guess you’re right. I should take responsibility for what I did, and try talking to Dinky again.” She walked over to The Doctor, and picked his muffin up off the plate. “I mean, it was my decision to get my eyes fixed, and if I had the courage to stand behind that decision, then I should have the courage to make up for my mistakes.” Derpy took a bite of the muffin, talking while chewing. “I owe it to Dinky to be a good mother, and I don’t want to let her down again.” She then took another bite.

The Doctor, still staring confused at his wife, finally answered her.

“Well I’m happy to hear that Derpy, and I agree that it would be best for you to try and make up with Dinky. Sparkler and I will support you as well, so there shouldn’t be any problem with us becoming a happy family again. But now that that’s out of the way, could I have my English muffin back now?”

Derpy froze, repeating what The Doctor had just said in her head. Her eyes began to cross in different directions, as she finally managed to taste the muffin in her mouth. She immediately ran into the bathroom, and proceeded to vomit out what she had just eaten.

“Oy! They’re not that bad!” The Doctor yelled out to his wife.

After finishing, Derpy then walked over to the sink, and began to wash her face. She grabbed a towel from the rack, and dried her face off, before looking up into the mirror.

Picking what was left of his muffin up off the ground, The Doctor heard Derpy scream from the bathroom. He dropped the muffin, and ran to the bathroom door, opening it when he arrived.

“What is it Derpy!? Are you alright!?”

From The Doctor’s angle, it looked like Derpy was just staring into the mirror, speechless, until she finally said something.

“Doctor, my eyes, they’re…they’re.” Derpy turned to look at The Doctor, a big smile on her face. “They’re back to normal!”

The Doctor’s jaw dropped, as he stared at his wife’s face, her eyes now looking in different directions, just like they used to.

“H..h…how? How did?...”

Gleefully, Derpy responded.

“It must have been your muffin Doctor! It was so bad, that it actually caused my eyes to go back to the way they were! Yay!”

The Doctor continued to stare, speechless.

Derpy wrapped her hooves around her still confused husband. “Oh, this is wonderful Doctor! I need to go tell Dinky and Sparkler right away! Thanks, bye!” Derpy then rushed out of the bathroom, and headed out the house to go find her daughters.

Still dumbstruck, The Doctor began to talk aloud to himself.

“But…but how did?...My…my muffin….What about my muffin?...How did?...”

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

It took time, but not a lot of time, for things to get back to normal in Derpy’s life.

After explaining herself to Dinky, and apologizing for her letting her eyes get the better of her, the little filly forgave her mother. Dinky even put on an encore show for her mother, as long as she agreed to be the bush that Dinky would get to point to.

Sparkler had already understood the situation better than her sister, but she forgave her mother all the same, and was happy to have her back to her wonderful self. She was also glad to have her around more again, since keeping her father in line was more a two mare job.

The ponies of Ponyville knew it was too good to last, but were still happy to have Derpy as their mailmare, even if packages wound up at the wrong houses. They hadn’t realized until now, that it was because of Derpy’s mistakes that they were able to interact with each other more often, due to returning packages to the right owners.

While he had to take away Derpy’s promotion and raise, Special Delivery was glad that he had his old mailmare back. With Derpy getting so much praise, the other mail ponies had to work twice as hard as before, which put more pressure on him to keep things fair.

Photo Finish was forced to get rid of all the pictures of Derpy that she had taken, since no pony outside of Ponyville, would ever believe that they were the same mare, had they met her. She returned to her spontaneous inspiration photography, now focusing on a mare who had a unique way of sitting.

Doctor Stable still continued his eye surgeries on other ponies, whom luckily didn’t have the same eye issues as Derpy. However, he found himself receiving frequent letters, all regarding medical seminars, and other interests of his, only to find out that they weren’t real.

The Doctor now hoards all of his English muffins in the TARDIS, so as to keep others from eating them, and to make sure not a nook nor cranny existed, to be filled with pears. While he lives in a strange world, with whom many would consider a strange wife, he still couldn’t be happier.

As for Derpy. She learned that even though some ponies may judge her, or make fun of her, and that there may be ways to change herself; that it’s best to just be who you are, and not let anypony change that. Because, if you change yourself, then you may lose sight of what made you special to others.

Author's Note:

It was a joy and pleasure to write this!

I hope all of you enjoyed reading this, and I thank you for your support, and the time you took to read it all!

A hoof to you all! /)

Comments ( 8 )

MUFFINS DESTROY EYES D:

This was a great story. I hope that you can write another one just as good as this :twilightsmile: And a brohoof for derpy /) :derpyderp2:

I find that last paragraph to be one of the best things I have ever read in a fanfic- or any book for that matter- ever!
You defanitly deserve the follow, fave, and like you got from me!

Too bad I can't give you more than that...:pinkiesad2:

I thank you all for your support and following it to the end! :pinkiehappy:

If I could ask for anything, it would be ideas for another story, but if not, I'll see what I can come up with next. :derpytongue2:

Hnnnnng hearts attack.....*while dead* good story.

5030505 Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it. :derpytongue2:

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