Military Brony. Saving lives one pony at a time.
Cloudy Airy decides to take a trip to Canterlot one day, trying to escape the monotony of his busy life. What he finds when he arrives however, are two spectacles that he'd never seen before. One for his mind, and one for his heart.
Cover art credited to dA user: RatofDrawn
Idea courtesy of SmileHDFan from my "I want to hear from you!" blog post.
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This was pretty good, I enjoyed it, a couple things really stuck out however.
The whole (MOVE) and (KICKING PAST SELF) looks really bad and unprofessional. Considering these are Cloudy's thoughts, perhaps you could put them in italics instead?
Also, who SAYS sigh? Don't put it in quotes unless they actually said it. If someone sighs, try to put that in as a description.
E.G
She sighed and turned to walk out the door, "What am I going to do with you Cloudy?" Because I am completely out of ideas.
4302051
Good points, and thanks. I admit that I had thoughts on those as well, so I guess I'll go ahead and make the changes.