The Muffin House Rules

by Brolkier

Act 3 - I see!

Act 3 – I see!

Derpy took another look at her reflection in the mirror. She placed a hoof on it, trying to see if it was real. She then focused on her hoof, as Doctor Stable levitated the mirror away. She moved her hoof from side to side, in front of her face, watching it.

“Wha…what are my eyes doing?” She asked the three other ponies around her.

The Doctor was the first to respond.

“They’re following your hoof…together.”

Derpy still had a hard time believing what she was seeing. Normally, she had never been able to focus this much on any one thing, and what’s more, her vision had never been this clear before.

“How do you feel mom? Are your eyes alright?” Sparkler asked her mother.

Derpy stopped staring at her hoof, and instead, looked around the room.

“I feel fine, and my eyes feel…amazing! So, so this is how everypony else sees things.”

Doctor Stable spoke up, as he levitated his clipboard in front of himself.

“I very glad that you’re able to see just fine. If you don’t mind though, Mrs. Hooves, I’d like to run a couple tests, just to make sure that your vision is still alright.”

The Doctor stuck his hoof out in front of Doctor Stable, pushing his clipboard out of the way as well.

“No need for that Doctor. I believe that I have just the right test to see if her vision is alright.” The Doctor reached behind his tie, and pulled out a piece of paper that he had grabbed from the TARDIS before the three of them had left that morning, and had placed in the folds of his tie. “Alright now Derpy, tell me what this card says.”

Derpy looked at the paper, before gleefully announcing what it said.

“Free muffins in the lobby! Yay!”

The Doctor then tried moving the paper back and forth.

“Does it still say free muffins?”

“Yep! Oh, can I please go get them? Huh, can I can I can I?” Derpy anxiously answered.

Doctor Stable was a little surprised at the test that Mr. Turner was trying to administer.

“Excuse me Mr. Turner, but could I take a look at that paper? I don’t recall there being free muffins available in the hospital today.”

“Oh, sure, he you go.” The Doctor said, as he handed the paper to Doctor Stable.

“Thank you.” Doctor Stable replied, before looking the paper over. His expression quickly became even more perplexed, as he tried squinting his own eyes, and adjusting his glasses, to try and read the paper. “This says that there’s a medical seminar going on in Canterlot today.” He then let out a slight gasp. “And I’m personally invited! By the Princess herself! Oh my, and it’s happening soon! I need to leave right now if I want to make it. I’m sorry Mrs. Hooves, but I’m afraid I’ll have to have one of my nurses continue your eye tests, an opportunity like this is too amazing to pass up!” He then dropped the paper, and grabbed Derpy’s hoof, shaking it up and down. “Thank you so much for participating in this surgery, and I wish you the best of luck in the rest of your life. Now, if you excuse me, I must be off!”

And just like that, Doctor Stable zipped out of the room, and ran down the halls.

With an eyebrow still raised in suspicion, Sparkler picked up the paper off the ground, and looked it over.

“Umm, dad, this paper is blank.”

The Doctor gave a little giggle, before answering his daughter.

“Oh, on the contrary my dear, it is exactly as you perceive it.”

“Come again?” Sparkler replied, confused.

“This is actually called Slightly Psychic paper. It displays whatever the reader wants to see, or whatever the user wants the reader to see. In your mother’s case, it was what she wanted to see.” He looked over at Derpy, who put on a happy smile. “In the doctor’s case, it was what I wanted him to see, in order to make him go away. Quite brilliant if you ask me.”

Derpy then spoke up in an excited manner.

“So can we go get muffins now!? Also, I want to see what Ponyville looks like, now that my eyes are like this.”

The Doctor nodded, and the three of them began to make their way out of the hospital. They passed by Nurse Sweetheart on the way out, and she told them to have a great day, and to come back again if anything was ever wrong.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

The three ponies made their way through Ponyville, heading towards Sugercube Corner, to get muffins for Derpy. Derpy flew a little ways ahead of The Doctor and Sparkler, as she took in all the old, yet new, sights of Ponyville. The Doctor and Sparkler kept their pace behind Derpy, keeping her in sight, but letting her fly around. They were both very glad that she was so happy about her eyes, but they wore slight frowns on their faces as they walked. They still weren’t sure if everything would really be okay, but they knew that they would support Derpy however they could.

Along the way, thanks to her new eyes, Derpy began to attract a lot of new attention from the ponies around her. Most of the ponies didn’t really look at her much different, but a few let out slight “ahhs” as she flew by, and a few stallions even whistled at Derpy, much to the annoyance of The Doctor.

“Oy! Keep it to yerself and trot off!”

When they finally reached Sugercube Corner, Derpy burst through the door, and flew up to the counter, jumping up and down, as she waited for her family to catch up. Mr. Cake stood on the other side of the counter, nervously watching Derpy jumping, as he cautiously waited for her to knock something over. When The Doctor and Sparkler walked in, Derpy stopped jumping, and then turned to Mr. Cake.

“Hello Mr. Cake, I’d like a Lemon Muffin Surprise!” Derpy told the baker, with a large smile on her face.

Mr. Cake nervously began to answer Derpy, until he took another look at her eyes.

“Oh, hello Derpy. Uh, sure, one Lemon Muffin Surprise coming right up.” He then addressed the other two ponies that walked up to join Derpy. “And what can I get for you two today?”

“Ah, well, let’s see. I’ll have an English Muffin please.” The Doctor responded.

“Eww! Not one of those cardboard muffins!” Derpy said to The Doctor, her face no longer a big smile.

Sparkler rolled her eyes at her father.

“I’ll just have a Blueberry Muffin please.”

Mr. Cake gave a nod to the ponies.

“Alright. One: Lemon, English, and Blueberry muffin coming right up!”

The Doctor and Derpy began to argue back and forth between each other, regarding The Doctor’s English Muffins, and what they tasted like. Sparkler just stood to the side, letting her parents battle it out, until Mr. Cake returned with the muffins. She gave him the bits for the muffins, and then proceeded to stuff the Lemon and English muffins into the mouths of their respective ponies. Both The Doctor and Derpy’s face lit up happily, as they began to eat their muffins.

Mr. Cake then thanked them for stopping by, and told them to come again. As he watched them begin to leave, he quickly added one more thing.

“Oh, and I’d like to say that you’re looking exceptionally nice today Derpy.”

Derpy blushed a bit at Mr. Cake’s kind words, as she waved goodbye, before walking out the door.

Mr. Cake waved back, before his wife nudged with an “ahem!” He nervously turned around to meet her slight glare.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

The three ponies started making their way back home for the day, continuing to eat their muffins as they walked. Derpy was just about to take another bite of her muffin, when she closed her eyes for a second, and accidently tripped over her own hoof.

“Owie.” She said aloud, opening her eyes. “I guess my coordination is still the same when my eyes are closed.”

She began to pick herself up, but was stopped short by the yelling from a pony in the crowd near her.

“STOOOOOP!! Don’t move! Zat pose! Zat mane! Zose eyes! Vye, zit iz zee most amazing zing zat I have ever zeen!”

Confused, Derpy looked up and over at the pony that was talking to her. It was none other than the famous photographer, Photo Finish.

“Umm, but I’d really like to move.”

“No!” Photo Finish replied. “I…must…photograph you.” She then pulled out her camera, and began to take shot after shot of Derpy, from all different angles.

At one point, Photo Finish got a close-up shot of Derpy’s face, the flash blinding and hurting her eyes.

“Ow! Please stop!”

The Doctor immediately jumped in, putting himself between Derpy and the pony with the camera.

“Oy! Back off lady! She’s just been through an extensive eye surgery, and her eyes are very sensitive. So if you wouldn’t mind putting away that camera, before I give it the opportunity to take a picture from deep space.”

Photo Finish took a step back, putting the lens cap back on, before speaking.

“Vah. You obviously don’t appreziate zee vine arts, but very vell. I shall veturn again, to continue zis vhoto shoot.” She then turned and walked back into the crowd, immersing herself into the commotion of all the ponies still trying to get her attention.

The Doctor turned back to Derpy, still rubbing her eyes on the ground.

“Are you alright Derpy?” He extended a hoof to help her up. “I should’ve stepped in sooner.”

“Come on mom, let’s get you home.” Sparkler told her mother, also extending a hoof.

Derpy accepted their help, and was able to get back on her hooves. The three of them then continued on their way back home, wary to avoid large groups of ponies this time.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

That night,

The Hooves family once again sat around their dinner table, this time eating something that Sparkler had made. Between her and Derpy, they didn’t want to risk The Doctor trying to cook something again, only to find him getting ambitious after the previous night’s successful meal.

Derpy once again asked Dinky how her day at school had gone, and this time, she was met by a very energetic and thrilled response.

“Today was absolutely amazing mommy! Ms. Cheerilee was asking for ponies to be in the school play next week, and I got picked to play the Princess!”

“That’s wonderful sweetie! I’m so proud of you!” Derpy replied happily.

“Wow, the Princess! Congratulations Dinky! I sure wish I had gotten picked to play the Princess back when I was in school.” Sparkler told her sister.

The Doctor clapped his hooves together in approval, before he spoke.

“Well that’s absolutely fantastic Dinky! You must be very excited to be playing the princess. The Doctor then appeared to go on a tangent, acting out what he was saying from his chair. “Being held against your will in some far away tower, waiting for your knight in shining armor to come rescue you. All the while, trying to escape the fire breathing dragon that guards you. Ahh, a wonderful classic tale.”

The three girls all looked at each other, before turning back towards The Doctor.

“Umm, Doctor. She’s not playing any old princess in a castle, she’s going to be playing Princess Celestia.” Derpy told her husband.

The Doctor’s eyes grew wide in confusion.

“What?”

Sparkler spoke next.

“Yeah dad. The school play that they hold every year is about Princess Celestia, and the founding of Ponyville.”

“…what?” The Doctor replied again.

“Yeah daddy. I get to be Princess Celestia!” Dinky told her father.

“…….what!?” The Doctor said, now with a slight twitch in his eye. “So…there’s no castle? No prince charming? No fire breathing dragon?”

Derpy looked on confused.

“Well, I mean, there’s a castle, but no prince or fire breathing dragon. At least, I don’t think there is. It’s been a long time since I was in the school play.”

“Oh, who were you back in the play mom!?” Sparkler asked her mother.

Derpy blushed a little, and nervously answered her daughter’s question.

“Oh, uh, I was…uh. I played…heh heh. A bush.” She finished with a nervous smile, and a small squee.

Sparkler let out an annoyed sigh.

“Really mom? A bush? Why would you play a bush in the founding of Ponyville play?”

“He he, mommy was a bush! That’s funny!” Dinky chimed in happily.

Derpy, Sparkler, and Dinky start talking amongst each other, both about Dinky’s play, and Derpy’s. Meanwhile, The Doctor sat in silence at the other end of the table, his mind apparently broken, with a face to match, as he tried to wrap his head around what he had just been told.

“I could live here for a thousand years, and still never be able to understand this place…”

Comments

[Dustin Lange]

I like this story. It's like living a small part of there life with them, and it gets a few laughs out of me as well.

[The Snide Sniper]

For those without experience with single-eye problems, the other eye compensates to the point where the only handicap is a lack of depth perception (and a not-particularly-useful backup if the good eye fails for some reason). After corrective surgery, expect to see no significant change in ability at first (acquisition of depth perception takes time), but be aware that the patient will acquire a tendency to occasionally (maybe once a month, or a lot more for the first few months) close the good eye to appreciate the view through the formerly bad one.

So far, this story is portraying the psychological effects of such surgery quite well.

[5thWriter]

SHE CAN SEE!!!