The Muffin House Rules

by Brolkier

First published

Something seems different about Ponyville's resident mailmare, but nopony can quite put their hoof on it. Whatever it is, it's causing quite a stir in Ponyville, and everypony can't get enough of her.

The opportunity of a lifetime presents itself, as Derpy undergoes a new magic medical procedure, to fix her eyes. The results are astounding, and Derpy is presented with a literal "new outlook on life."

Will Derpy come to find that she now has a "normal" life, or will she lose sight of what's always been important to her?


Inspired by the Futurama episode; "The Cyber House Rules"
Cover art credited to dA user: BaumkuchenPony

Act 1 - It's a muffin!

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Act 1 – It’s a muffin!

It was another busy day at the market place, as Derpy, The Doctor, and their daughter Sparkler were out shopping. It had been a while since the three of them had done anything together as a family, so Derpy had decided to bring Sparkler along with her and The Doctor, since Dinky was in school.

The Doctor looked over the checklist that he had in his hoof, as he began to talk aloud to himself.

“Let’s see. We have fruit. Check. Some bread, that’s always good. Check. Some…oats. I guess it’ll have to pass for meat for now, since I can’t very well eat any around here.” Muttering the part about the meat to himself. “Check. Ah, fantastic! That just leaves the most important item to get, butter!”

Sparkler rolled her eyes at her father.

“I still don’t understand your fascination with butter dad. You go on and on about it, and you eat it every day, but you don’t gain any weight. How can anypony be that obsessed with butter?”

“Believe me, I’m still trying to figure it out.” Derpy responded to her daughter.

“Oy! What’s wrong with butter? It’s goes great on everything! And I’ll have you know, that my metabolism is far more advanced than humans, so I burn it off rather quickly.” The Doctor replied back, ending very as-a-matter-of-factly.

Derpy rolled her eyes.

“There you go about those human things again.”

The Doctor gave a slight pout, with a face to match.

“Well fine then. My metabolism is far more efficient than ‘ponies’, so I’m not effected by the weight gaining effects of sweet, wonderful, butter.”

“Well I know something that you could bring along with you in the TARDIS, and I’m sure you’d enjoy it even more than butter” Derpy said with a menacing grin. “Pears.”

The Doctor freaked out and leaped backwards, nearly knocking over another pony who was shopping.

“AHH! Don’t you dare mention that horrible accursed abomination of a fruit! Those things are absolutely horrendous, and I’ll never eat another one of those things for as long as I live! Both in human form, and pony form!”

Derpy and Sparkler giggled with each other at The Doctor’s reaction.

Annoyed that he had been tricked into thinking about one of the things that he despised most in the universe, The Doctor decided to trick his wife with something that he knew she took very seriously. He looked around the market, and eyed the stand selling the very thing he was looking for. He ran over to buy one of its items, and brought it back to the still giggling mares.

“Well then, what do you think about…this!?” The Doctor produced a muffin from behind his back, and held it in front of Derpy.

“Muffin!” Derpy exclaimed excitedly.

The Doctor moved it back and forth in front of her face, watching both her head and eyes seeming to follow it differently, yet at the same time.

“Go get it!” The Doctor yelled, as he threw it off behind Derpy.

“Muffin!” Derpy yelled, as she turned and flew after the flying muffin.

“Real mature dad.” Sparkler replied to her father.

“What? She made me think about pears, and you know how much I don’t like pears.” The Doctor then began to make a pitiful crying attempt. “I mean, what a mean thing to do to someone. It’s just downright horrible to think about.”

Almost sincere tears began to form in his eyes, as Sparkler just rolled hers.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

Meanwhile,

Derpy managed to catch up to the muffin, and began to eat it, as she continued along its initial trajectory back towards the ground, not paying attention to where she was going. Just as she began to take another bite out of the muffin, she crashed into a pony walking on the ground.

“Owie.” Derpy looked to see that she had run into somepony. “Opps, sorry mister, I didn’t see you there.”

The pony stood up and brushed himself off, adjusting his glasses as well.

“It’s no problem. Accidents do happen after all.”

Derpy took another look, and realized that she had crashed into Doctor Stable, the head doctor of the Ponyville Hospital.

“Oh, hi there doctor!” Derpy replied gleefully, suddenly oblivious to the fact that she had just run into him.

“Hello miss…” The doctor finished adjusting his glasses, and looked up at Derpy. His jaw had been left open, as he stared at her, watching only one of her eyes looking at him, while the other looked off somewhere else. “Mrs. Hooves….Ah, Mrs. Hooves! Just the pony I wanted to see actually!” This time it was Doctor Stable’s turn to be giddy.

Derpy gave the stallion a confused look.

“Umm…you wanted to see me?”

“Yes! I’ve got a very important medical discussion that I’d like to have with you!” Doctor Stable replied excitedly.

Derpy became even more confused, as she tried to answer back.

“I…uh…”

Before she could get another word out, she was interrupted by the sound and presence of Sparkler dragging The Doctor over to her.

“Ow ow ow! You can stop pulling my ear now young lady.” The Doctor replied, twitching at the pain of Sparkler still tugging on his ear.

Sparkler let her father go, before pointing her hoof at her mother.

“Apologize.”

“Alright, alright. Fine.” The Doctor let out an annoyed sigh, before speaking. “Derpy I’m sorry that I tricked you and threw a…” The Doctor stopped mid-sentence, as he realized the situation in front of him, and Derpy’s confused look. “Hold on. What’s going on here?”

Derpy replied nervously. Her words getting faster and slightly quieter as she spoke.

“Uh, Doctor, this doctor apparently has some important medical thing to talk to me about, and I don’t have any idea what he’s talking about or what to say to him.”

“Ah! So you are a stallion of medicine as well?” Doctor Stable spoke to The Doctor. “I wasn’t aware that another pony of the medicinal field resided in Ponyville, outside of those that work with me at the hospital. What’s your name sir?”

“I’m The Doctor.” The Doctor replied.

Doctor Stable seemed confused at the response.

“The Doctor?”

“Yes, just The Doctor. Ow!” Sparkler gave her father a hard nudge in the side, and he quickly realized what she was trying to tell him. “Oh, uh, I mean” He cleared his throat before speaking. “My name is Time Turner. Nice to meet you Doctor…?”

Doctor Stable cleared his own throat this time.

“Doctor Stable. I work at the Ponyville Hospital. Nice to meet you Mr. Turner, and yes, I was actually speaking to Mrs. Hooves about a very important medical achievement that I would like her to be a part of.”

The Doctor was confused as to what the other doctor might be referring to.

“Medical achievement? In what, might I ask?”

“Why in optometry! I’ve recently developed an historical new eye surgery that could help any and all ponies with problems with their sight.” Doctor Stable replied to The Doctor proudly.

The Doctor was now even more puzzled at what the stallion had just told him.

“Optometry and problems with ponies’ sight? You said you worked at the hospital. Shouldn’t your expertise be more inclined to the body itself, rather than the eyes? Isn’t that the kind of medical operation that would need to be performed by an actual doctor in optometry?”

Doctor Stable was a little taken aback at The Doctor’s response.

“Forgive me Mr. Turner, but just because I am a doctor whose main focus does revolve around the pony body, doesn’t mean that I am limited to just that. I’ve developed my medical skills to help ponies in as many ways as I can. I am more than capable, and prepared to perform the surgery that I have in mind for Mrs. Hooves here.”

“Well that’s all fine and dandy, but for what? What’s wrong with her eyes? You know, other than them being all…you know.” The Doctor replied.

“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with my eyes!” Derpy snapped at The Doctor.

Doctor Stable broke the tension between the two before the other could reply again.

“It is actually precisely that.”

Derpy and The Doctor spoke in unison.

“Huh?”

“You see, I’ve been aware of Mrs. Hooves condition for some time now, and I believe that this new surgery could fix both her eyes, and her vision.” Doctor Stable replied.

Sparkler spoke before either of her parents could.

“But there’s nothing wrong with my mother’s vision. She can see just fine the way she is.”

“Yeah!” Derpy replied in agreement.

Doctor Stable cleared his throat before speaking again.

“Well be that as it may, I’m sure there must be some vision difficulties that you’ve had in the past. Like accidently flying into me for example? I’ve also heard of your difficulties delivering the mail at times. I know I once received a package of apples, when I was supposed to be receiving thermometers.” He then gave Derpy a slight glare. “And let’s not forget the time that somepony flew the wrong way to fetch the migrating birds during Winter Wrap Up.” He stopped glaring as he continued to speak. “Or how about the piano…”

Derpy cut the stallion off before he could finish.

“Hey! Don’t talk about the piano dropping incident!”

Doctor Stable cleared his throat.

“My point exactly. Seriously though, this could be an extraordinary turning point in your life Mrs. Hooves! We could fix all of your vision problems, as well as the other issues related to your eyes.”

Sparkler spoke to the doctor in an annoyed tone.

“And what issues would those be?”

Derpy put a hoof out in front of her daughter.

“Calm down Sparkler. I know what he’s talking about.” Derpy replied in a down tone.

Doctor Stable cleared his throat one last time.

“Well I can understand that this whole thing is very sudden, and that I shouldn’t expect a response right away, but please think about it. I’ll be at the hospital whenever you decide to make your decision.”

And with that, the pony doctor walked off out of the market.

Sparkler spoke again, still annoyed.

“The nerve of some ponies. There’s nothing wrong with your eyes or your vision mom, don’t listen to him.”

Derpy placed her hoof on her daughter’s shoulder for comfort and to calm her.

“I know…but he does have a point. I’ve accepted the way that my eyes are, and I’m used to my vision, but if he really is able to do something about them, then maybe it’s worth a try.”

The Doctor then placed a hoof on Derpy’s shoulder.

“You know you don’t have to go ahead with something like this. I mean, if its delivery problems, I could always lend you the TARDIS to get around faster and more efficiently.” He then mumbled to himself. “You seem to be able to drive her better than me now anyways.”

“I know, but it would be a little weird, and really obvious, if I started popping in and out of a disappearing box constantly throughout the day.” Derpy replied.

“Good point.” Replied The Doctor.

Derpy let out a deep sigh, before she spoke.

“This is a really big decision that I’ll have to make, and I’ll need some time to think it over.” Derpy then looked up, to see that the sun was starting to get a little further in the sky. “Come on, we still need to finish the shopping, and pick up Dinky from school.”

The Doctor and Sparkler nodded in agreement, and the three of them turned to finish their errands.

Act 2 - Derpy doesn't need surgery!

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Act 2 – Derpy doesn’t need surgery!

The Hooves family all sat around the dinner table, as they ate their meal for the night. The Doctor had actually managed to make something edible in the TARDIS for once, much to the relief of Derpy and Sparkler, who had been in charge of the meals thus far. An odd combination to say the least, consisting of; celery sticks, bananas, biscuits and jam, some type of pudding, and what the Doctor called “Jell-O” for dessert.

Derpy turned to her youngest daughter Dinky, and asked her about her day.

“So how was your day at school Dinky?”

Dinky took another quick bite of her celery stick, before answering her mother.

“It was fun mommy! Miss Cheerilee taught us how to count higher numbers today! I think I can count all the way to a gazillion now!”

“Dinky, there’s no such thing as a gazillion.” Sparkler told her sister, not trying to ruin her spirits.

Dinky’s expression got a little down. “I know.” Then her expression went right back to her happy demeanor. “But, Apple Bloom and her friends were talking about a whole bunch of things that they were going to try to do to get their cutie marks, and Scootaloo said that if those didn’t work, then they could try a gazillion more things.”

Derpy gave a little giggle at Dinky’s story.

“He he. Oh, those little fillies are always trying so hard to get their cutie marks.”

“Yeah.” Dinky replied to her mother. “I don’t know if I could count all of the things that they’ve tried yet, but I still like counting to the number four! It’s my favorite number!”

“Would you like a Jelly Baby?” The Doctor said aloud, causing his family to stare at him confused. The Doctor realized that he had somehow caused a scene. “Oh, uh, sorry. Some sort of reaction I guess. So, umm, why is four your favorite number Dinky?”

“Because there’s four of us daddy! You, mommy, Sparkler, and me! The four of us are the best family ever.” Dinky replied back, gleefully. “And I never want anything to ever change!” She finished with a big smile, and a little squee.

The four of them all joined in a nice laugh. As they all calmed down, Derpy looked into her glass that she was now holding on the table. She could see her reflection in the glass, and thanks to the liquid inside, her eyes looked even wonkier than they normally are. As her family continued to eat, Derpy couldn’t help but think back to what Doctor Stable had told her earlier that day, and what it could mean for her. She seemed lost in thought, her face now looking a little sad.

The Doctor glanced over at his wife, now looking a little depressed.

“Are you alright Derpy?”

Derpy snapped out of her deep thinking, and looked around the table at her family.

“Everything alright mom?” Sparkler said to her mother, sounding concerned.

Dinky spoke next.

“What’s wrong mommy?”

Derpy put on a nervous, but happily reassuring face, as she answered Dinky.

“Oh, it’s nothing sweetie. Mommy was just thinking about something.”

“You’re thinking about going through with it, aren’t you?” The Doctor spoke in a serious, but concerned tone.

Derpy turned to The Doctor, trying to answer him, but found it hard to look straight at him and talk at the same time. Instead, she sort of looked down, like she was talking at the table, while one of her eyes looked up at The Doctor.

“Well, I’m not sure yet, but I have been giving it some thought.”

Sparkler slammed her hooves on the table, giving it a good shake, while standing up in the process.

“You can’t be serious mom!? There’s no reason for you to go through with it, you’re fine just the way you are!”

Now both scared and confused, Dinky looked up at her mother, little tears starting to form in her eyes.

“What’s going on mommy? What’s wrong?”

Derpy leapt out of her chair to hold Dinky in her hooves. She made shushing sounds, as she brushed her daughter’s mane with her hoof, trying to make her feel alright.

“It’s okay sweetie, nothing’s wrong. Everything’s going to be alright.” She gave a quick look to The Doctor, who seeming to understand, got up, and walked out of the room with Sparkler. She then looked back down at Dinky, who was sniffling up the tears that she almost cried. “Mommy’s just been doing a little thinking about something.”

“About what mommy?” Dinky replied.

Derpy started to look away, but focused back at her daughter, as she told her about what had happened earlier, before she picked her up from school.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

“And that’s it sweetie. I’m still not sure how I really feel about it, but, I get the feeling that I should give it a try.”

Dinky looked up at her mother, her eyes no longer filled with little tears.

“But I like your eyes just the way they are mommy. They’re what make you special.”

Derpy gave a little giggle at her little filly’s response, making her feel better.

“I know Dinky, and I’m so happy that you’re always loving and caring for me, and every other pony, no matter who they are.”

This brought a big smile to Dinky’s face.

“Well, no matter what, I’ll always love you mommy!” She then gave her mother a big hug, trying to wrap her little hooves around her.

Derpy then wrapped her own hooves back around her daughter, as she nuzzled her head. Her eyes closed, with a warm motherly smile on her face.

“I think I’ve made my decision.” She said quietly to herself.

The Doctor and Sparkler looked on from around the corner of the doorway to the other room. They looked at each other, and then back at Derpy and Dinky.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

The next day,

The Doctor and Sparkler had been waiting out in the hallway, for what felt like hours. Sparkler sat in her chair, much like her friend Lyra occasionally did, with her plot on the chair, and her hind legs dangling off the edge. She still had her forelegs crossed across her chest, with a slight annoyed look still on her face.

The Doctor, on the other hoof, had been pacing back and forth in the hallway for so long, that dark hoof marks had started to make lines on the floor. Nurse Redheart walked by from an adjacent hallway, and told him to please take a seat, as he was starting to scuff the floor. The Doctor took a seat, waiting until the nurse left, and was out of earshot, before getting up, and pacing again.

Eventually, the lighted sign above the door to the Operating room turned off, and Doctor Stable emerged from the doors, pulling down his face mask. The Doctor and Sparkler rushed over to him, each asking their own questions.

“How is she doctor!? Is she okay!? Did everything go alright!? I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to her!?”

“Is my mother alright!?”

Doctor Stable raised both his hooves at the two of them, trying to calm them down.

“Please, calm yourselves. Everything’s fine. The surgery was a complete success!”

Both of the ponies’ faces lit up with relief/excitement, as they dashed passed Doctor Stable, and into the Operating room.

Doctor Stable walked back into the room, to find The Doctor and Sparkler standing next to Derpy’s bed, staring at her. Derpy’s head was still completely covered in bandages all the way around, leaving her nose and mouth exposed, so she could breathe and talk.

Derpy told the two of them to calm down, and reassured them that she was fine, but that she wanted to see what she now looked like.

Doctor Stable walked up to her side, before speaking to the three of them.

“Well now, without further ado, your eyes should have been given enough time to readjust, so I’ll go ahead and remove the bandages.” Using his magic, he gripped the end of the bandages, and slowly began to unwind them.

After almost a full minute of unwrapping, all of the bandages were finally removed from Derpy’s face, her eyes still closed. She slowly began to open her eyes, adjusting to the light in the room, until she managed to open up her eyes all the way. The Doctor and Sparkler both let out a surprised gasp, as Derpy desperately tried asking for a mirror.

“Quick, please, a mirror!”

Doctor Stable levitated a mirror off the wall, to in front of Derpy’s face.

Derpy let out a gasp of her own, as she tried to find the words to express what she could feel/see.

“My eyes! They’re…they’re. The same!”

Act 3 - I see!

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Act 3 – I see!

Derpy took another look at her reflection in the mirror. She placed a hoof on it, trying to see if it was real. She then focused on her hoof, as Doctor Stable levitated the mirror away. She moved her hoof from side to side, in front of her face, watching it.

“Wha…what are my eyes doing?” She asked the three other ponies around her.

The Doctor was the first to respond.

“They’re following your hoof…together.”

Derpy still had a hard time believing what she was seeing. Normally, she had never been able to focus this much on any one thing, and what’s more, her vision had never been this clear before.

“How do you feel mom? Are your eyes alright?” Sparkler asked her mother.

Derpy stopped staring at her hoof, and instead, looked around the room.

“I feel fine, and my eyes feel…amazing! So, so this is how everypony else sees things.”

Doctor Stable spoke up, as he levitated his clipboard in front of himself.

“I very glad that you’re able to see just fine. If you don’t mind though, Mrs. Hooves, I’d like to run a couple tests, just to make sure that your vision is still alright.”

The Doctor stuck his hoof out in front of Doctor Stable, pushing his clipboard out of the way as well.

“No need for that Doctor. I believe that I have just the right test to see if her vision is alright.” The Doctor reached behind his tie, and pulled out a piece of paper that he had grabbed from the TARDIS before the three of them had left that morning, and had placed in the folds of his tie. “Alright now Derpy, tell me what this card says.”

Derpy looked at the paper, before gleefully announcing what it said.

“Free muffins in the lobby! Yay!”

The Doctor then tried moving the paper back and forth.

“Does it still say free muffins?”

“Yep! Oh, can I please go get them? Huh, can I can I can I?” Derpy anxiously answered.

Doctor Stable was a little surprised at the test that Mr. Turner was trying to administer.

“Excuse me Mr. Turner, but could I take a look at that paper? I don’t recall there being free muffins available in the hospital today.”

“Oh, sure, he you go.” The Doctor said, as he handed the paper to Doctor Stable.

“Thank you.” Doctor Stable replied, before looking the paper over. His expression quickly became even more perplexed, as he tried squinting his own eyes, and adjusting his glasses, to try and read the paper. “This says that there’s a medical seminar going on in Canterlot today.” He then let out a slight gasp. “And I’m personally invited! By the Princess herself! Oh my, and it’s happening soon! I need to leave right now if I want to make it. I’m sorry Mrs. Hooves, but I’m afraid I’ll have to have one of my nurses continue your eye tests, an opportunity like this is too amazing to pass up!” He then dropped the paper, and grabbed Derpy’s hoof, shaking it up and down. “Thank you so much for participating in this surgery, and I wish you the best of luck in the rest of your life. Now, if you excuse me, I must be off!”

And just like that, Doctor Stable zipped out of the room, and ran down the halls.

With an eyebrow still raised in suspicion, Sparkler picked up the paper off the ground, and looked it over.

“Umm, dad, this paper is blank.”

The Doctor gave a little giggle, before answering his daughter.

“Oh, on the contrary my dear, it is exactly as you perceive it.”

“Come again?” Sparkler replied, confused.

“This is actually called Slightly Psychic paper. It displays whatever the reader wants to see, or whatever the user wants the reader to see. In your mother’s case, it was what she wanted to see.” He looked over at Derpy, who put on a happy smile. “In the doctor’s case, it was what I wanted him to see, in order to make him go away. Quite brilliant if you ask me.”

Derpy then spoke up in an excited manner.

“So can we go get muffins now!? Also, I want to see what Ponyville looks like, now that my eyes are like this.”

The Doctor nodded, and the three of them began to make their way out of the hospital. They passed by Nurse Sweetheart on the way out, and she told them to have a great day, and to come back again if anything was ever wrong.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

The three ponies made their way through Ponyville, heading towards Sugercube Corner, to get muffins for Derpy. Derpy flew a little ways ahead of The Doctor and Sparkler, as she took in all the old, yet new, sights of Ponyville. The Doctor and Sparkler kept their pace behind Derpy, keeping her in sight, but letting her fly around. They were both very glad that she was so happy about her eyes, but they wore slight frowns on their faces as they walked. They still weren’t sure if everything would really be okay, but they knew that they would support Derpy however they could.

Along the way, thanks to her new eyes, Derpy began to attract a lot of new attention from the ponies around her. Most of the ponies didn’t really look at her much different, but a few let out slight “ahhs” as she flew by, and a few stallions even whistled at Derpy, much to the annoyance of The Doctor.

“Oy! Keep it to yerself and trot off!”

When they finally reached Sugercube Corner, Derpy burst through the door, and flew up to the counter, jumping up and down, as she waited for her family to catch up. Mr. Cake stood on the other side of the counter, nervously watching Derpy jumping, as he cautiously waited for her to knock something over. When The Doctor and Sparkler walked in, Derpy stopped jumping, and then turned to Mr. Cake.

“Hello Mr. Cake, I’d like a Lemon Muffin Surprise!” Derpy told the baker, with a large smile on her face.

Mr. Cake nervously began to answer Derpy, until he took another look at her eyes.

“Oh, hello Derpy. Uh, sure, one Lemon Muffin Surprise coming right up.” He then addressed the other two ponies that walked up to join Derpy. “And what can I get for you two today?”

“Ah, well, let’s see. I’ll have an English Muffin please.” The Doctor responded.

“Eww! Not one of those cardboard muffins!” Derpy said to The Doctor, her face no longer a big smile.

Sparkler rolled her eyes at her father.

“I’ll just have a Blueberry Muffin please.”

Mr. Cake gave a nod to the ponies.

“Alright. One: Lemon, English, and Blueberry muffin coming right up!”

The Doctor and Derpy began to argue back and forth between each other, regarding The Doctor’s English Muffins, and what they tasted like. Sparkler just stood to the side, letting her parents battle it out, until Mr. Cake returned with the muffins. She gave him the bits for the muffins, and then proceeded to stuff the Lemon and English muffins into the mouths of their respective ponies. Both The Doctor and Derpy’s face lit up happily, as they began to eat their muffins.

Mr. Cake then thanked them for stopping by, and told them to come again. As he watched them begin to leave, he quickly added one more thing.

“Oh, and I’d like to say that you’re looking exceptionally nice today Derpy.”

Derpy blushed a bit at Mr. Cake’s kind words, as she waved goodbye, before walking out the door.

Mr. Cake waved back, before his wife nudged with an “ahem!” He nervously turned around to meet her slight glare.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

The three ponies started making their way back home for the day, continuing to eat their muffins as they walked. Derpy was just about to take another bite of her muffin, when she closed her eyes for a second, and accidently tripped over her own hoof.

“Owie.” She said aloud, opening her eyes. “I guess my coordination is still the same when my eyes are closed.”

She began to pick herself up, but was stopped short by the yelling from a pony in the crowd near her.

“STOOOOOP!! Don’t move! Zat pose! Zat mane! Zose eyes! Vye, zit iz zee most amazing zing zat I have ever zeen!”

Confused, Derpy looked up and over at the pony that was talking to her. It was none other than the famous photographer, Photo Finish.

“Umm, but I’d really like to move.”

“No!” Photo Finish replied. “I…must…photograph you.” She then pulled out her camera, and began to take shot after shot of Derpy, from all different angles.

At one point, Photo Finish got a close-up shot of Derpy’s face, the flash blinding and hurting her eyes.

“Ow! Please stop!”

The Doctor immediately jumped in, putting himself between Derpy and the pony with the camera.

“Oy! Back off lady! She’s just been through an extensive eye surgery, and her eyes are very sensitive. So if you wouldn’t mind putting away that camera, before I give it the opportunity to take a picture from deep space.”

Photo Finish took a step back, putting the lens cap back on, before speaking.

“Vah. You obviously don’t appreziate zee vine arts, but very vell. I shall veturn again, to continue zis vhoto shoot.” She then turned and walked back into the crowd, immersing herself into the commotion of all the ponies still trying to get her attention.

The Doctor turned back to Derpy, still rubbing her eyes on the ground.

“Are you alright Derpy?” He extended a hoof to help her up. “I should’ve stepped in sooner.”

“Come on mom, let’s get you home.” Sparkler told her mother, also extending a hoof.

Derpy accepted their help, and was able to get back on her hooves. The three of them then continued on their way back home, wary to avoid large groups of ponies this time.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

That night,

The Hooves family once again sat around their dinner table, this time eating something that Sparkler had made. Between her and Derpy, they didn’t want to risk The Doctor trying to cook something again, only to find him getting ambitious after the previous night’s successful meal.

Derpy once again asked Dinky how her day at school had gone, and this time, she was met by a very energetic and thrilled response.

“Today was absolutely amazing mommy! Ms. Cheerilee was asking for ponies to be in the school play next week, and I got picked to play the Princess!”

“That’s wonderful sweetie! I’m so proud of you!” Derpy replied happily.

“Wow, the Princess! Congratulations Dinky! I sure wish I had gotten picked to play the Princess back when I was in school.” Sparkler told her sister.

The Doctor clapped his hooves together in approval, before he spoke.

“Well that’s absolutely fantastic Dinky! You must be very excited to be playing the princess. The Doctor then appeared to go on a tangent, acting out what he was saying from his chair. “Being held against your will in some far away tower, waiting for your knight in shining armor to come rescue you. All the while, trying to escape the fire breathing dragon that guards you. Ahh, a wonderful classic tale.”

The three girls all looked at each other, before turning back towards The Doctor.

“Umm, Doctor. She’s not playing any old princess in a castle, she’s going to be playing Princess Celestia.” Derpy told her husband.

The Doctor’s eyes grew wide in confusion.

“What?”

Sparkler spoke next.

“Yeah dad. The school play that they hold every year is about Princess Celestia, and the founding of Ponyville.”

“…what?” The Doctor replied again.

“Yeah daddy. I get to be Princess Celestia!” Dinky told her father.

“…….what!?” The Doctor said, now with a slight twitch in his eye. “So…there’s no castle? No prince charming? No fire breathing dragon?”

Derpy looked on confused.

“Well, I mean, there’s a castle, but no prince or fire breathing dragon. At least, I don’t think there is. It’s been a long time since I was in the school play.”

“Oh, who were you back in the play mom!?” Sparkler asked her mother.

Derpy blushed a little, and nervously answered her daughter’s question.

“Oh, uh, I was…uh. I played…heh heh. A bush.” She finished with a nervous smile, and a small squee.

Sparkler let out an annoyed sigh.

“Really mom? A bush? Why would you play a bush in the founding of Ponyville play?”

“He he, mommy was a bush! That’s funny!” Dinky chimed in happily.

Derpy, Sparkler, and Dinky start talking amongst each other, both about Dinky’s play, and Derpy’s. Meanwhile, The Doctor sat in silence at the other end of the table, his mind apparently broken, with a face to match, as he tried to wrap his head around what he had just been told.

“I could live here for a thousand years, and still never be able to understand this place…”

Act 4 - Daddy, where's mommy?

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Act 4 - Daddy, where's mommy?

A few days had passed since Derpy’s surgery, and she was really starting to get the hang of her new eyes. Most notably, during her job as a mailmare. In the past, Derpy had been very prone to miss-reading packages and letters, delivering mail to the wrong ponies, and just overall, getting lost during the process. However, thanks to her new eyes and improved vision, that was all a thing of the past.

Derpy’s boss, Special Delivery, was sitting behind his desk at the Ponyville Post Office. He took another sip of his coffee, as he read another article in a copy of the morning newspaper, of which he had sent another pony to deliver to the ponies of Ponyville earlier in the day. The article was about a strange blue box, which had been appearing in Ponyville for quite some time, but no pony knew much about it. Just as he was about to finish reading the article, Derpy came trotting through the front door, and started to set her mail satchel on one of the hooks on the wall.

“Well well well. This makes the third day in a row that you’ve gone out to deliver the mail, and gotten back before lunch. I gotta say, I’m really impressed at your improved performance Derpy.”

Derpy held her head up high, as she responded to her boss.

“Thanks a lot Mr. Delivery!”

Special Delivery then set his paper on his desk, before reaching into one of the drawers to retrieve something.

“And it’s not just me that’s impressed.” He set large stack of papers on his desk. “Ponies from all over Ponyville have been sending in feedback letters, all saying how grateful they are that their mail has been getting to them on time, and in one piece.”

“Wow! That’s really great sir!” Derpy replied ecstatically.

Special Delivery then put a grin on his face, as he pulled out one more letter from his desk.

“However, you’ve still gotten one complaint letter.”

Derpy was shocked, and became nervous as she spoke.

“Oh no! What did I do wrong?”

Still grinning, Derpy’s boss opened the letter, and read it aloud.

“’I am grateful that my mail has once again gotten to me safely, but I still feel that I have a complaint.” He squinted his eyes at Derpy, before reading the last bit of the letter. “I complain that the mailmare didn’t stick around long enough, for me to say hello, and thank her for doing such a wonderful job!”

Derpy’s face immediately lit up, as her boss let out a laugh.

“Ha ha! You haven’t received one complaint so far this week Derpy. All the ponies couldn’t be happier with your performance, and neither can I.” He then stood up from his desk. “And that’s why, starting today, I’m giving you a raise, and promoting you to senior mail pony!”

Derpy jumped for joy.

“Oh, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you! I don’t know what to say, I’m so happy!”

Special Delivery sat back down in his chair.

“You don’t have to say anything Derpy. In fact, why don’t you take the rest of the day off? You’ve earned it.”

“Oh, thank you so much sir!” Derpy replied. She then turned around and made her way out of the post office.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

Derpy made her way through the streets of Ponyville, as she headed to Sugarcube Corner for a celebration muffin. However, about halfway down the street to the bakery, Derpy once again closed her eyes for a second, and managed to trip over her own hoof again.

“Owie. Is this going to keep happening every time I close my eyes? I probably should have just flown there.” She began to stand back up, and was almost on her hooves, when she began to her the sound of camera shots all around her.

Photo Finish, and her crew of fashion ponies, had set up large lights and cameras around Derpy, taking several different angled shots.

“Yes YES! Zats it! Zat style. Zat pose. Ah, zis is going to be und amazing vhoto shoot!” Photo Finish said aloud.

While the flashes of the cameras weren’t hurting her eyes as much this time, Derpy still tried to hold a hoof in front of her eyes, to block the lights.

“What, what’s going on?”

“Vhy, I told you zat I vould veturn! I, Photo Finish, know und picture perfect pony, vhen I zee von. You vust be my front model at my fashion show zis veek!”

Derpy tried to back out of the circle of cameras, but the ponies around her just leaned in closer. Photo Finish then jumped into the center of the cameras with Derpy, and wrapped a hoof around her neck.

“I can vake you und shooting star! All of Equestria will know your face, and ponies from near und far, will all love you!”

Derpy began to disagree, and turn Photo Finish away, but something about what she said about all the ponies loving her, made her start to second guess herself. While it’s true that she didn’t really care what ponies thought of her before, back when her eyes were what they used to be, and she was more awkward. The idea of her being loved by all of the ponies that used to make fun of her, made Derpy start to consider the pony’s offer.

“I…I could really have everypony love me?”

“Yes, yes my dear! Zay vill all love you!” Photo Finish replied.

“What…what would I have to do?” Derpy asked the still excited fashion pony.

“Not a zing my dear! I zhall handle everyzing, und all you’ll have to do, is just be vantastic!”

Derpy began to think that it all sounded too good to be true, but then again, she thought that she would ever have another opportunity like this again.

“I…won’t have to do anything, huh?”

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

The familiar sound of the TARDIS reappearing began to echo in the Hooves household. Soon, the blue police box appeared in the kitchen, and The Doctor came rushing out, slamming the door shut behind him. He was out of breath, as he spoke aloud to himself.

“Pant. Pant. Gah, those Cybermen, err, uh, Cyberponies, really have no sense of humor at all! Pant. Pant. Even the Daleks could tell a decent joke every once in a while. Pant. Pant.” The Doctor started to catch his breath, until he finally noticed Dinky sitting at the kitchen table, seemingly unfazed by his sudden appearance in the TARDIS, quietly working on her homework. “Ah, hello there Dinky, how was your day at school?”

Without even looking up from her homework, Dinky answered her father.

“Oh, it was good daddy. We started doing rehearsals for the play in a few days, and Ms. Cheerilee asked us to write a paper about who we’ll be playing in the play, and what they did during the founding of Ponyville.”

“Ah, well that sounds interesting. Still no fire breathing dragon I suppose.” The Doctor responded to his daughter, mumbling the last part to himself. “Say, have you seen your mother around Dinky? I could really use a hand, err, hoof with something.”

“Oh, she’s at her photo shoot daddy.” Dinky replied.

The Doctor nodded in agreement.

“Ah yes, right, her photo shoot. Guess I’ll have to…” Something then clicked in The Doctor’s head, as he realized what Dinky had just told him. “Wait, what photo shoot!?”

Dinky finally looked up from her homework, answering her father.

“Oh yeah, you were gone on your trip when she came back and told Sparkler and me. Mommy got picked to be a model pony for a fashion show this week, and she’s been out at the fashion store all night.”

“M.m.m.model!” The Doctor stuttered out. “A model for what?” He let out a gasp, as he formed a conclusion in his head. “Oh no! That pony with the camera from the other day. She must have come back for Derpy and recruited her to be a model for…” A shock came upon The Doctor’s face, before he started running past Dinky, and made his way out of the house. “I’ve got to stop her from becoming a pear model!”

Meanwhile, Dinky returned to her homework, as Sparkler walked into the kitchen.

“What’s got dad all wound up?” She then stopped in her tracks, before putting a hoof to her face. “Ugh…dad parked the TARDIS here again!”

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

A few more days passed, and it was finally the night of Photo Finish’s fashion show.

Derpy peeked her head out from behind the curtain, and saw that the entire room of the Carousel Boutique was packed. She was nervous to say the least, and the uncomfortable dress that had been made for her wasn’t helping much. The past couple days had been stressful, with her working at her job during the day, and then doing photo shoots with Photo Finish here at the Boutique at night. There was also the pestering from The Doctor, about how she seemed to be getting swept into the limelight, when normally she’d never do something like this.

Suddenly, Photo Finish walked up behind Derpy, and nearly made her jump out onto the stage.

“Are you veady my dear? Zee show vill be starting soon, and soon, everypony vill know und love you!”

“Uhh, ye, yeah. I’m just…uh…a little nervous is all.” Derpy replied.

“Have no vear my dear. Just valk out onto zat stage, strike und magnivicent pose, und bask in zee light and applause of zee crowd. You shall ve und shooting star!” Photo Finish told her model.

Derpy nervously chuckled to herself, as she looked back to the curtain.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

Meanwhile,

The Doctor and Sparkler found their seats in the audience of the town hall. Tonight was the night of Dinky’s play, and they wanted to make sure that they had good seats to see her play Princess Celestia.

There was still a little time before the play was supposed to start, so Dinky ran from backstage, down the aisles of the audience, and over to where her father and sister were sitting. She was already wearing her costume, which consisted of a white gown, little yellow shoes, and a pair of fake wings strapped to her back. It almost looked like the wings were flapping as she ran up to her family.

“Hi daddy! Hi Sparkler! Are you two excited!?”

The Doctor gave a sincere smile, as he looked down at his adorable little daughter.

“Oh we can’t wait for it to start sweetie. We know you’ll do just fine.”

Sparkler nodded in agreement.

“I’m still so jealous that you get to play the Princess, Dinky.”

Dinky giggled at her sister, until she noticed something that made her frown. She looked around the audience, but didn’t see her mother anywhere.

“Daddy, where’s mommy?”

The Doctor turned to look at the empty seat between him and Sparkler, which they were saving for Derpy, when she arrived. He then turned back to Dinky, now starting to look a little sad, so he put on as best a smile as he could, to make her feel better.

“She’s just running a little late Dinky, but I’m sure she’ll be here in time to see you on stage.”

Her eyes still seemed down, but Dinky put on a little smile and nodded at her father.

“Okay daddy. I’ll look for mommy from my tower perch while I’m performing.” With that, she turned, and ran back down the aisle, to get backstage once again.

The Doctor waved his hoof as Dinky ran to the stage, and he couldn’t help but feel guilt in his stomach, as he looked back at the empty seat next to him.

“Come on Derpy, you can’t let our little filly down.” He thought to himself.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

The curtains opened, and Derpy walked out on stage. All the ponies in the audience “ooh’d” and “ahh’d”, as Derpy walked down the runway, purposely tripping herself at the end, in order to get the pose that Photo Finish wanted her to have. As she lifted herself into the pose, the crowd went crazy, stomping their hooves repeatedly on the ground.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

At the same time,

The curtains to the school play opened, and there atop the scenery made castle tower, stood Dinky. She pointed out into the open landscape painted behind her, and spoke.

“I declare, that this stretch of land, shall be known as: Ponyville!”

The crowd stomped their hooves for joy, and Dinky took the opportunity to look out into the crowd. She could see everypony stomping, and even spied her sister stomping as well, while her father sat in his chair and clapped his hooves together. Dinky smiled even wider, until she took a closer look into the audience. There between her father, and sister, was an empty chair.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

The curtains closed behind Derpy, as she finally got backstage again. She let out a deep breath, relieved to finally be done with the fashion show. Photo Finish stomped her hooves on the ground, as Derpy walked over to her.

“Wunderbar! Wunderbar! You vere amazing my dear! Zee entire crowd loved you!”

Derpy rubbed the back of her leg with her hoof, a little embarrassed.

“Heh heh. Gee, thanks Ms. Finish.”

“Abzolutely spectacular! Vhy, zis could be und photo shoot worthy of zee Princess!” Photo Finish exclaimed.

“Wow, really? The Princess? Heh, heh.” Derpy told the mare. She ran the sentence through her head again, when she realized something. Something that shocked her to her core. “The…Princess? The Princess! Dinky! Oh, my gosh! I’m missing her play!” Derpy zipped past Photo Finish, spinning her in place, and almost causing her glasses to fall off.

“Vait! Vhere are you going!?” The stunned fashion photographer tried to call after Derpy.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

“Oh, please don’t let me be late. Please don’t let me be late. Please don’t let me be late.” Derpy thought to herself as she ran. Her dress was starting to get ruffled and fall apart as she ran, and she almost tripped over it. She would’ve just flown, but the style of the dress prevented her from moving her wings necessary to fly.

She could see the town hall up in the distance, even this late at night. As she got closer, the front doors began to open, and Derpy began to think that she was going to make it. At least, until ponies started making their way out. Derpy saw all the families leave with their respective filly from the play, but she didn’t see her family anywhere. She rushed past the last family to leave, and inside the town hall. There, she saw a sight, one that made her heart sink in her chest. At the edge of the stage, surrounded by The Doctor and Sparkler trying to comfort her, was Dinky…crying.

Derpy walked down the aisle, closer to the three of them. She got a few chair aisles away from the stage, when Dinky looked up, and saw her mother. She immediately hopped out of her father and sister’s hooves, and off the stage. She ran towards Derpy, but instead of running into her hooves, she ran past her mother, and kept on running, all the while still crying.

Tears began to form in her eyes, as Derpy turned her shocked face from her little filly running away, back to her husband and daughter standing on the stage. The two of them just looked down at her from the top of the stage, emotionless. They then walked off, stage right, down the stairs, and made their way to the entrance, leaving Derpy standing in the middle of the now empty room, alone.

Derpy collapsed to her knees, the tears in her eyes now falling, as she brought her hooves to her eyes to try and stop them. She began to cry to herself, for what felt like an eternity.

“Dear Celestia…what have I done?”

Act 5 - If you had fillies, you'd understand.

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Act 5 – If you had fillies of your own, you’d understand.

“What do you mean you can’t change my eyes back!?” Derpy yelled at Doctor Stable, who was sitting behind his desk.

Doctor Stable adjusted his glasses, before answering the disgruntled mare.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Hooves, but the entire process is irreversible. The whole purpose of medical surgeries is to fix problems, not cause them.”

Derpy stomped her hoof on the ground.

“But there was nothing wrong with my eyes before! They weren’t a problem!”

Doctor Stable then leaned on his desk, placing his hooves together.

“Then why did you agree to have the surgery Mrs. Hooves?”

“Because!...because…” Derpy tried to respond, but found that she was having a hard time coming up with a reason.

Doctor Stable leaned back in his chair, letting out a sigh.

“Again, I’m sorry Mrs. Hooves, but there’s nothing more that I can do for you. My medical stance prevents me from going back on a case such as yours, and even if I could, I wouldn’t know where to start with changing your eyes back.”

Tears began to form in Derpy’s eyes.

“But…but this was all a big mistake. I should never have changed my eyes, and myself like I did. Because of all this, my own filly won’t even speak to me.”

“My condolences to you Mrs. Hooves.” Doctor Stable told Derpy.

Derpy turned around, and began to walk out of the office. She pushed open the door, but turned back to Doctor Stable one last time.

“If you had fillies of your own, you’d understand.” Derpy then closed the door behind her, and walked down the hall.

She still couldn’t believe it; “She could never go back to the way things were?” Those words echoed in her head, as she continued to walk. Derpy passed by some windows, overlooking the ground below. A cloud in the sky moved in front of the sun, causing enough shade to form, so that Derpy could see her reflection in the window. The mare she saw in the reflection wasn’t her. Her eyes were “normal”, and they appeared to look into her very soul.

Derpy placed on hoof on the window, blocking her reflection. Tears began to form once again.

“I just wish I could go back to the way I was. Stopped myself from ever being so stupid as to change myself. If only I could turn back time.” That last word sparked something in Derpy’s mind. Time, yes, she could just go back in time! She was married to the only pony in the universe, who had the capability to travel to any point in time! The Doctor!

The sun finally came back out from behind the cloud, as Derpy flew down the halls, and out the main entrance.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

The Doctor held his Sonic Screwdriver in his hoof, as he was trying to make calibrations to one of the machines in the TARDIS.

“Just a few more seconds, and everything should be…” The Doctor almost finished his sentence, but was cut short by Derpy bursting through the door of the TARDIS, causing him to drop his Sonic.

“Doctor, Doctor!” Derpy called out loud.

“Ah, yes, what is it Derpy?” The Doctor replied, while reaching down to pick up his Sonic.

Derpy spied The Doctor from behind the center console. She quickly made her way around the TARDIS, and jumped on top of The Doctor, pinning him to the ground.

“Doctor, you’ve got to take me back to before I got the surgery! I just can’t take it anymore!”

The Doctor was more than confused at this point, as he tried to turn himself around from underneath Derpy.

“What? What do you mean take you back?”

“I want to go back in time, to before I got that stupid surgery, so that I never let my eyes go to my head, and I never make Dinky cry. Please Doctor!”

The Doctor finally managed to roll over, and was met by the stare of Derpy’s weeping eyes. A couple tear drops fell and hit his face.

“I’m…I’m sorry Derpy…but I can’t.”

Derpy’s eyes grew wide, as she was starting to be overcome with fear.

“What? What do you mean you can’t? You’ve a time traveling pony, of course you can!”

The Doctor turned his gaze away, before he looked back at his wife.

“The event of you getting your surgery done is a fixed point in time, I can’t take you back. I also can’t allow you to go back in time and try to talk yourself out of it, as it would cause a paradox in the time space continuum, and the universe might collapse on itself.”

Derpy shook her head from side to side.

“I don’t care about boxes Doctor, I just don’t want to lose the love of my daughter. Dinky hates me!”

The Doctor managed to worm his way out from under Derpy, before he spoke to her again.

“Derpy, Dinky doesn’t hate you, she’s just disappointed that you weren’t there for her, we all were.” He reached up and placed a hoof on Derpy’s cheek. “No one hates you Derpy. You made a mistake, that’s all. We still love you.”

Derpy looked away from The Doctor, trying to sniffle up her tears.

“Sniff. But it feels like more than a mistake Doctor. You and Sparkler both saw how she just ran by me last night. It broke my heart, and I feel like I broke Dinky’s.”

The Doctor wrapped his hooves around his wife, hugging her.

“Derpy, everything will be alright. We’ll get through this, together.” He stopped hugging, and placed his hooves on Derpy’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s go get Dinky and Sparkler, and just talk this out.”

Derpy shook her head.

“No! I can’t look at my daughter’s again with these eyes! I won’t be able to speak to them again, not until my eyes go back to the way they were!” With that, Derpy turned and ran out of the TARDIS.

“Derpy wait!” The Doctor tried to call out to her from the door to the TARDIS.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

Derpy wasn’t sure how long she ran before she collapsed. With the idea of going back in time no longer an option, and knowing that the ponies at the hospital couldn’t help her, Derpy felt like she had no pony left to turn to. She started to think of what other options she had left.

She could go to Twilight? Twilight knew a whole bunch of amazing spells, and maybe she could find one to fix her eyes. Although; “How do you fix something to something considered broken?” Derpy dismissed the idea.

What about Zecora? She lived in the Everfree forest with all sorts of strange things, and knew even stranger remedies. Perhaps one of her mysterious cures could help her. Then again, just the thought of going into the Everfree forest by herself frightened her, and she didn’t know for sure if Zecora would even be able to help her. Derpy had a hard enough time just trying to understand her when she spoke.

One last thought. She had remembered how she had seen other ponies face go all weird, whenever they were hit on the head by something, like when she accidently dropped that piano on Twilight. However, even if it meant getting her eyes back to normal for a little bit, Derpy wasn’t sure how long the look would last, or if there would be any other side effects to hitting herself in the head with something. Also, she was pretty sure her family wouldn’t be very happy with the idea of Derpy hurting herself, just to change her eyes back.

Derpy sat there on the ground for a few more minutes, until she finally decided that maybe The Doctor was right. As far as she could tell, her eyes were going to stay like this for the rest of her life, and she was going to have to deal with them, and her family, together. With that, Derpy stood up, spread her wings, and flew home.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

Back at the Hooves household,

The Doctor walked out of the TARDIS in the backyard. He had moved it back there, and behind a tree, after Sparkler had lectured him about leaving the TARDIS in the house again. He couldn’t help it? He wasn’t fully used to driving with hooves yet, so when he had programmed the landing destination, he had been off by about a good twenty feet, or hooves, in this universe.

The Doctor walked back into the house, and into the kitchen. He opened up one of the cupboards, and pulled out a muffin, which he brought over to the table. He sat down in his chair, and was about to dig into the muffin, when he heard Derpy walk in the front door.

Derpy looked down, both in the sense of feeling down, and in looking at the floor while she walked. She didn’t start talking until she walked into the kitchen.

“Hey Doctor. After thinking it over, I guess you’re right. I should take responsibility for what I did, and try talking to Dinky again.” She walked over to The Doctor, and picked his muffin up off the plate. “I mean, it was my decision to get my eyes fixed, and if I had the courage to stand behind that decision, then I should have the courage to make up for my mistakes.” Derpy took a bite of the muffin, talking while chewing. “I owe it to Dinky to be a good mother, and I don’t want to let her down again.” She then took another bite.

The Doctor, still staring confused at his wife, finally answered her.

“Well I’m happy to hear that Derpy, and I agree that it would be best for you to try and make up with Dinky. Sparkler and I will support you as well, so there shouldn’t be any problem with us becoming a happy family again. But now that that’s out of the way, could I have my English muffin back now?”

Derpy froze, repeating what The Doctor had just said in her head. Her eyes began to cross in different directions, as she finally managed to taste the muffin in her mouth. She immediately ran into the bathroom, and proceeded to vomit out what she had just eaten.

“Oy! They’re not that bad!” The Doctor yelled out to his wife.

After finishing, Derpy then walked over to the sink, and began to wash her face. She grabbed a towel from the rack, and dried her face off, before looking up into the mirror.

Picking what was left of his muffin up off the ground, The Doctor heard Derpy scream from the bathroom. He dropped the muffin, and ran to the bathroom door, opening it when he arrived.

“What is it Derpy!? Are you alright!?”

From The Doctor’s angle, it looked like Derpy was just staring into the mirror, speechless, until she finally said something.

“Doctor, my eyes, they’re…they’re.” Derpy turned to look at The Doctor, a big smile on her face. “They’re back to normal!”

The Doctor’s jaw dropped, as he stared at his wife’s face, her eyes now looking in different directions, just like they used to.

“H..h…how? How did?...”

Gleefully, Derpy responded.

“It must have been your muffin Doctor! It was so bad, that it actually caused my eyes to go back to the way they were! Yay!”

The Doctor continued to stare, speechless.

Derpy wrapped her hooves around her still confused husband. “Oh, this is wonderful Doctor! I need to go tell Dinky and Sparkler right away! Thanks, bye!” Derpy then rushed out of the bathroom, and headed out the house to go find her daughters.

Still dumbstruck, The Doctor began to talk aloud to himself.

“But…but how did?...My…my muffin….What about my muffin?...How did?...”

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

It took time, but not a lot of time, for things to get back to normal in Derpy’s life.

After explaining herself to Dinky, and apologizing for her letting her eyes get the better of her, the little filly forgave her mother. Dinky even put on an encore show for her mother, as long as she agreed to be the bush that Dinky would get to point to.

Sparkler had already understood the situation better than her sister, but she forgave her mother all the same, and was happy to have her back to her wonderful self. She was also glad to have her around more again, since keeping her father in line was more a two mare job.

The ponies of Ponyville knew it was too good to last, but were still happy to have Derpy as their mailmare, even if packages wound up at the wrong houses. They hadn’t realized until now, that it was because of Derpy’s mistakes that they were able to interact with each other more often, due to returning packages to the right owners.

While he had to take away Derpy’s promotion and raise, Special Delivery was glad that he had his old mailmare back. With Derpy getting so much praise, the other mail ponies had to work twice as hard as before, which put more pressure on him to keep things fair.

Photo Finish was forced to get rid of all the pictures of Derpy that she had taken, since no pony outside of Ponyville, would ever believe that they were the same mare, had they met her. She returned to her spontaneous inspiration photography, now focusing on a mare who had a unique way of sitting.

Doctor Stable still continued his eye surgeries on other ponies, whom luckily didn’t have the same eye issues as Derpy. However, he found himself receiving frequent letters, all regarding medical seminars, and other interests of his, only to find out that they weren’t real.

The Doctor now hoards all of his English muffins in the TARDIS, so as to keep others from eating them, and to make sure not a nook nor cranny existed, to be filled with pears. While he lives in a strange world, with whom many would consider a strange wife, he still couldn’t be happier.

As for Derpy. She learned that even though some ponies may judge her, or make fun of her, and that there may be ways to change herself; that it’s best to just be who you are, and not let anypony change that. Because, if you change yourself, then you may lose sight of what made you special to others.