Scootaloo ran away three months ago from her abusive mother. She thinks she's worthless, and will never fly. She thinks she will not be missed. Here's how she finally got to fly
(Also some romance, not much more of admitting feelings)
THERE WILL BE A SECOND CHAPTER FROM SWEETIEBELLES POINT OF VEIW.
Also, those who read, this is my first time trying a fic with true, real emotions. I tried to put my own personal feelings in pony form. Let me know how I did?
This is a pre comment: The title makes me want to cry right off the bat, but we will see how well you did with the feals in this one.
Can't even capitalize for your sentences. Downvote~
4020336
elohell.net/public/comments/original/be04628d2f778f8cf2f384d4a80c345a.gif
4020375
You need to realise that this probably wasn't preread for errors as much as other stories are. I always keep that in mind when I read stories and I stop noticing or even just caring about them by the middle of the chapter.
Give it a chance if you havent read it all yet.
4020437 If a person can't take the time to read over their stuff and fix simple errors like capitalization, especially when it's done consistently in the description, then I highly doubt he's taken the time to create a story worth reading.
You should never, ever, post something that hasn't been at least scanned for grade-school level grammatical errors.
Now that I read it, I am wating for the next chapter.
Although, I wish you would have spent more time developing the story, then have Scoots do what she did in a later chapter, (I think it would draw in more people that way.) Other than that, good job! Can't wate for the next chapter.
P.S you should look for a prereader.
Meh.
i am currently looking for one, actually lol so far i just have my friends :3
well i have my girlfriend who does it, but she's busy with her own novel right now, so I dont really have one xD
4020458
I see your point.
I still liked the story though. The one thing that made me a little upset was the rushed feeling it had...
4020498
Don't you hate it when people dislike all the comments of people who like a story they don't? If they don't like it so much, then why do they hang around the story so long?
4020501
Of course it's rushed. Judging from the title and description, this is basically the fanfic equivalent of a 70s exploitation film.
4020554
What do you mean by 70's exploitation film? (Only 17 here.)
4020565
Exploitation films are generally seriously rushed with a shoestring budget, made for the sake of profit by exploiting a trend or something outrageous in order to attract attention.
e.g. 70s "slasher" films, such as Friday the 13th
4020609
oh, I see.
Join the phones master race.
People who type their stories on pussies never have typos.
*phones
Yay, my first downvoted comment!
I somewhat Edited it, and added stuff
ugh y does every one pick scootaloo as the suicide type y not applebloom almost every one hates her. sorry if i make u feel bad for this comment...
"WHEN ALL CAPS WAS IN STYLE..."
...Where the fuck did this shit come from?
Human curse words! Why not!
Stupid fucking bullshit. NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE! IT HAS LESS GROUNDING THAN FUCKING "SQUIDWARD'S SUICIDE!"
Sweetie Belle is two words you idiot. Was this whole story just an excuse to promote Scootabuse = ScootaBelle shipping?
"And I drew a penis. That'll show 'em to mock me!"
Seriously though, does she not remember every episode she was in? I mean, christ on a pogo stick! This is retarded!
Sweetie Belle is two words you idiot.
Ugh, BLAH BLAH EMO WHINING!
You know what? This isn't Scootaloo. This is the combined fantasies that everyone who read this fic is having about the inventor of Scootabuse.
...Fuck it. Skip to the suicide.
MORE BEER, GENTS? WHY THANK YOU, FURRIEND. YES, I WOULD LIKE A PISTOL UNLOADED IN MY FACE.
And we're free from reading this fic. Thank god for it, too!
This fic is terrible. It is honestly pure, pure crap. None of this is grounded in canon in any way but the names, Scootabuse is just fucking terrible, and it feels like you just used this promote your ship as well.
I give you one out of ten because I can't go lower than that.
Cant wait to see this from Sweetie Belles point of view!
4068929 I give you a -∞ /10 because you don't have to flame up in the comments.
4308204 ...First off: Critiquing, flaming. There's a difference. Critiques sometimes are angry. This one was angry. This, however, was NOT flaming.
Secondly, why in GOD'S name are you reviving a six week old thing? We've moved past this piece of shit excuse for a story. Now, would you kindly move on from here?
4308280
"...piece of shit excuse for a story."
That is flaming. Or just highly insulting. I revisited this after I found it in my old favorites.
4308313 How, pray tell, is it flaming? Am I acting to deliberately antagonise anyone there? No, sir, I am not.
4308313
I wouldn't say stating facts is flaming.
4308204 I give you a 2.bp.blogspot.com/-KqCzVN2C9Zc/UiOP9GcK4OI/AAAAAAAAZBs/r3Z1Pi9S4V4/s1600/1371846451009.png out of 2.bp.blogspot.com/-KqCzVN2C9Zc/UiOP9GcK4OI/AAAAAAAAZBs/r3Z1Pi9S4V4/s1600/1371846451009.png for "rating" a review.
4308335 Well...I guess your right, but you can simply remove all the swearing and it sounds more informational than angry.
4308313
More along the lines of highly insulting. But hey, it's the truth 'aint it?
If I say a dress is hideous when it is hideous am I flaming it? No, I'm stating a fact, that in fact this dress (aka this stupid fanfic) is bad.
Well then.
4308355 Sometimes I have to agree that there is no nice people on the internet.
4308366 How did you find your way into this wondrous place? Did you follow the yellow brick road?
The yellow bricks are made of overheated cow chips, by the way. They just fell from the sky, like a storm of shit!
4308313
It's only flaming if you say things like that for no reason. If you were to say, "lol this story sucks ass" or something like that, then yes, that's flaming. But as you can see, he gave more than a few reasons for it to be considered technically bad. If the large ratio of downvotes to upvotes didn't already pretty clearly indicate, of course...
If this was in your favourites, I dread to think what other things might lurk within such a place.
(PS: 4308370 Correction: There aren't very many nice people anywhere. It ain't mutually exclusive.)
~Blinkie
4308370
You just figured this out now?
Besides, he was just being honest. Brutally honest
4308348
>censor
>internet
toplelkek
Remember to space out the paragraph when a pony is talking. Ex:
"So?" asked AJ.
Fluttershy smiled and held up a butterfly with rainbow colored wings, "Doesn't it remind you of her?" the yellow pegasus explained, tears beginning to flow down her cheeks.
"Oh sugar cube." AJ whispered, pulling her friend into a hug as the butterfly flew away.
I DO see potential.....but it needs some work.
Lots of punctuation was missing, and I saw no spaces in places where there should be spaces (wait...)
But, with a bit more work put into it, I can see that this could be good.
And WHY is it always Scootaloo? I mean, seriously. Come on.
So Scootaloo is a faggot?