• Published 22nd Jan 2014
  • 2,248 Views, 64 Comments

The Witch, The Bug, And The Airhead - Bucking Nonsense



A witch a thousand years out of her time, a changeling kicked out of the hive, and an earth pony who defies explanation become friends.

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Doctor Doctor Please

The Hippocratic Oath is a wonderful thing. This oath meant, among other things, that a doctor could not refuse care to anypony, or any creature, that came asking for help, especially one who was visibly injured, even if such a creature might be considered, under other circumstances, a fearsome enemy. Of course, there were a few minor bumps along the road to good health...

"You know, I don't mean this as an insult to your friend," Doctor Stable said to Silhouette, keeping his tone carefully neutral, "but it might have been a better idea to take her to a veterinarian, instead of a doctor."

Trouble gave the doctor a look that implied that, while it might not have been meant as an insult, she was very close to taking it as one. "Don't talk about me as if I'm not here, or like I'm not smart enough to understand." The doctor turned towards Trouble, then nodded. "Now," Trouble continued, her tone rather measured, like someone who was trying very hard not to sound angry, "Please explain what you meant. Because that did sound very close to an insult to me."

Doctor Stable nodded, sighed, then said, "What I meant was, my specialty is in the treatment of ailments and injuries that can be suffered by ponies. While I know a little bit about the anatomy and physiology of various non-pony creatures, I wouldn't be confident in my ability to treat them effectively for anything but the most basic of injuries, and even then, I'd recommend that such a patient see a specialist immediately afterwards for a follow-up. The problem is..."

With a weary sigh, Trouble guessed what he would say next. "There aren't likely to be many specialists in changeling anatomy."

The doctor nodded, then looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know, there might be one possibility. If you'll wait right here, I'll see if I can get somepony who might now more. And you," he said, turning and pointing at Heddy, "Leave the lollipops alone. Those are for patients." When Heddy gave the doctor a puppy-dog eyes stare, Stable sighed and said, "Fine, you can have one. But leave the rest alone: I'm expecting Pinkie Pie in for her annual physical today, and she gets... crabby if there aren't any lollipops."

The doctor stepped out, off to find whichever pony it might be who would know more about changeling anatomy. After he left, Silhouette asked a question that had been bugging her for a little while. "Ummm, if you don't mind my asking, how did you end up in such bad shape, anyways?"

Trouble smirked, and said, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Silhouette chuckled, then said, "Try me, you'd be amazed what I'll believe."

Trouble smiled, then, looking Silhouette right in the eyes, said, "I told the queen that I thought that she was an idiot. To her face. Then, I explained to her, in detail, why. In front of the entire colony. As you can guess, she wasn't happy about it."

Silhouette's jaw dropped. Trouble was dead serious: her voice didn't waver, she didn't blink, she didn't break eye contact. Silhouette could tell it was the truth, but it was too incredible to believe. "Why," she asked, shock plain on her face and in her voice, "would you do that? You had to know she would have reacted."

Trouble scowled, not at Silhouette, but at a memory. It seemed that the entire issue was an unpleasant subject. "She... look, you know about the invasion, right? How, after the entire thing went south, we got launched miles and miles away? Well, where we were launched to wasn't anywhere near the hive, where we were situated before. Normally not a problem, we can always make a new one... except that there was a hatchling left behind at the old hive."

Trouble looked deeply saddened as she continued, saying, "The hatchling was too young to participate in the invasion: she couldn't change shapes or fly yet, let alone fight, so she'd just get hurt. So, the queen decided to leave her in charge of watching over the hive. Not a big problem, the hive was hidden, and she was left with enough love to last her for weeks, if need be. But after the invasion, everything started going bad. She was like a little sister to me, so I was very worried about her. We'd expected to be gone for less than a day, but it turned out to be much longer. I was sent to the old hive to retrieve the hatchling, to bring her to the new hive, where she would be safe, but when I got there... she was gone."

After a moment, as if she had to steel herself for what she had to say next, she continued, "I have no idea where she may have gone to, but when I got back with the swarm, I was furious. So furious that, once I arrived, I immediately sought out the queen, and gave her a piece of my mind. As you can tell, she didn't enjoy it. I ended up fighting my way out, but not before I took a few hits, and the queen had zapped me with a spell bolt. I didn't realize my wings were burning until I smelled them cooking. No nerves."

Silhouette really didn't know what to say to that. Heddy, on the other hand, knew exactly what to do: hug. She latched herself onto Trouble, and after a moment, Silhouette did as well. Sometimes, it's better not to say anything.

Comments ( 40 )

This is an example of my early work. I wrote this after the end of Season 3, and I ultimately ended up losing the thread. There's a bit of a story behind it: I'd had ideas for three stories after season 3: one was a story about a pony from a thousand years ago (not Luna, and not Sombra) who was sent forward a thousand years, one about a changeling trying to make good in Equestria after getting kicked out of the hive, and one about... well, Heddy, who you might see more of if this story continues. I didn't know which story to run with, so I tried combining all three characters into a single story, and if anyone felt they wanted to hear more, I could do a story about their origins. Well, take a read and let me know what you think. Like I said, this was written a ways back, so don't judge too harshly, please.

You've definitely improved as an author since then, but it's still an entertaining read. The chapters are short enough to seem almost choppy, but the characters have potential.

3825808
They do, don't they. Like I said, this was an early work, and I was still working on stuff. It had been a while since I had sat down and wrote something, so I was out of practice. After I wrap up the Cricket-Verse, I may pick this back up, rewrite a few things, and start anew on this.

3826265 I know I would like to see this picked back up, cleaned up, and restarted. You could pull off some pretty fun things with a set of characters like that, and I kind of want to see Heddy meet Pinkie Pie now.

Oh, and I will go ahead and say this now: if you've figured out who Heddy is, give yourself a pat on the back. I tried to make it subtle, but I peppered in enough clues (including the name) to give you an idea.

3827551
You misspelled "Hedless". :rainbowlaugh:

3827333 Apparently I can't. This is on the popular stories list now :rainbowlaugh:

3827357
Please don't tell me I'm the first to come up with that :rainbowlaugh:

3827781 So many Blazing Saddles lines at your disposal....

3828737
I know, but if I don't watch myself, my stories will become nothing but pop culture references :rainbowlaugh:

3828922
Well, that’s fine, but no Spaceballs. That one’s mine.

3831328
You can't own Spaceballs, Spaceballs belongs to the world!

3831697
The idea I had was a simple one: Let's say you have an idea, a dream, or maybe even a nightmare, that had been around for a long, long time, like, oh, say, random example: The Headless Horse. That nightmare gets passed on, from generation to generation. Some ideas can take on a life of their own, as time goes by, and in a magical world, that isn't necessarily a figure of speech. However, if it can take on a life of it's own, it could start having ideas of it's own. But let's say that such things operate on the principle of the trope God Needs Prayer Badly, and once folks stop believing in them, they cease to exist... unless they've become real enough that they can believe... in themselves. Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore, I am.

3831965 I'm sure every guard has been informed that if Discord gets out of hand the first step to reining him in is to tell Fluttershy. :flutterrage:

So, after reading about Cricket's audience with the princesses I find myself wondering if Trouble is actually Portia... :trixieshiftright:

I definitely has some interesting ideas behind it. I'd be curious to see this cleaned up and continued.

I'll be keeping an eye on this.

3834305
Actually, the two are radically different. Portia is more.. playful. Trouble is a tough cookie, although she has a soft, gooey center. Portia is fun-loving, but she hides an iron core. If I had to relate the two, Portia is Trouble turned inside out.

3835585
Interesting. I'm looking forward to seeing more from the Cricketverse when you get around to it. :twilightsmile:

Even with your clues I'm still completely curiously confused about the colorful character colloquially known as Heddy. Either way, this early work shows your excellent growth as a writer. :pinkiehappy:

I like this changeling. She gots Chutzpah.:ajsmug:
Heddy is a good goblin, just keep her away from Pinky orDashy.(Shudder):unsuresweetie:
Silhouette is cool in my book, but she could use a broom. Every great witch always had a broom. Kiki, Wendy, Elphaba (great, wicked but great), Phoebe, Samantha, Hazel (who has two, one sweeping, one flying) and the list goes on. In short, Silhouette is cool as is, but add a broom, BOOM 20% cooler.:rainbowdetermined2:

I liked this story... And the entire Monolog with Discord was great! I totally want to learn more about Heddy!

If Heddy is the Headless Horse, it would amuse me to no end

3906997
FINALLY!!! Give yourself a cookie for figuring it out :rainbowlaugh:

3907832 what can i say? The name, the lack of a proper description and your little talk about legends coming to believe in themselves provided the pieces :twilightsheepish:
Also, cyber-cookies taste like circuitry :pinkiehappy:

3905319
I posted all of my work on the same day. :pinkiehappy:

Confused I am, yes. :derpyderp1:
Is Silhouette a unicorn? If she is, how is her being a witch different from her being a unicorn with a magic talent, like Twilight Sparkle?

3912766
Twilight Sparkle would be considered like a Discworld wizard: she learns spells for the sake of learning spells: how often are many of her spells actually practical?
Silhouette is like a Discworld witch. She learns spells for practical purposes, and while capable of being a general specialist like Twily, she limits herself to spells that are useful. She doesn't have anywhere near the sparkly one's power, but because she has limited herself to a smaller number of spells, she has a great deal more experience in the use of those spells: she can cast spells faster, and always knows exactly what they'll do.
But the biggest difference is simply this: Twilight Sparkle's there to take care of the big, obvious, universe destroying threats out there. Silhouette is there to take care of the more subtle problems.

This is pretty good. Can't wait to see more of this. So Heddy's the Headless Horse then?

Heddy.

Headdy.

Head.

Headless.

Headless Horsemare. (I know there isn't a 'mare' in her name, but I like to say 'Horsemare'.)

Is a figment of oneself's own imagination.

Brilliant! 10 mustaches out of 5! :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache::moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:

3916150
Thank you. I'll enjoy all of those new moustaches and wax them daily :pinkiehappy:

I'd like to learn more about this Heady.
Amazing twist near the end.:twistnerd:

4027785
Well, normal in ponyville involves Pinkie Pie, so... :rainbowlaugh:

can't wait for the next update.:pinkiehappy:

4028558 who is anything but. Of course, I seem to be one of the few people who actually understands her. I can't really complain seeing as I'm as crazy as she is

Well, to be fair, Chryssie clearly cared for that hatchling since she did send Trouble to retrieve her and she was having a really bad time, what with her desperate attempt at providing fir hewer people failing and many being injured in the process, she really didn't need one of her people verbally assaulting ams belittling her.

Cya
Raziel-chan

An enjoyable story so far. I hope there will be a chance for further development at some point in the future.:moustache:

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