• Member Since 15th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Feb 16th, 2014

Snowflake The Pegasus


My name is Snowflake. I am a pegasus with ice breath.

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Rainbowdash's sister, Starstruck visits Ponyville. As we all know, Rainbowdash is known for her incredible flying skills. But what happens when Starstruck is even better than Rainbowdash? What happens when everyone likes Starstruck more than Rainbowdash, including her friends? What will Rainbowdash do?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 15 )

Wow this story left me starstruck:pinkiehappy::heart::pinkiehappy::heart:

3762645 Most brilliant comment ever. GIVE THIS PERSON AN OSCAR:flutterrage::heart:

Aww! I love the story, and how you included pictures ; JUST PERFECT! :raritywink:

3762763
lol terrible pun, I know, I know

I'm sorry to say, but this needs a lot of work.

Just to name a few issue: Flat antagonist who is just gratuitously better at Rainbow Dash's signature stunt because... because? Check.
Rainbow Dash's friends acting uncharacteristically oblivious? (Really? "We know you and she don't get along so we didn't invite you, our best friend, while we partied with your sister." Really? You snapped my suspension of disbelief in half right there.)
Also, I don't get how you somehow managed to mispelle one of the main characters' names. Rainbow Dash. With a space. It's in the show credits. It's in just about every reference on the show. It's everywhere. How does one miss that?

You should keep practicing, but this just isn't it.

Umm...have i seen this somewhere before? :rainbowhuh: could of sworn i have...huh nevermind.
Dash's friends don't...fit i guess. They 're too oblivious, too un-noticing. I doubt that they'd begin liking some random pony over their best friend. They're the elements of harmony, their friendship defeated Nightmare Moon and Discord for Celestia's sake!
Ask yourself this, would you prefer a random person you just met over your best friend? Then be completely oblivious to how hurt they are by it?

Also seriously, have i commented on your fic before? Did you re-write? THIS IS BUGGING ME!!

I'm sorry if this fanfiction didn't appeal to everyone :applejackunsure: its my first one. I do appreciate your criticism though, so I can work on making my stories better

3765258

I don't believe you have seen this fanfiction before, this is the first time I submitted it. And Rainbow Dash's friends didn't really like her sister more than her, although that's how it looked in Rainbow Dash's eyes. They were just hanging out with her to thank her for helping them out. Rainbow's friends didn't notice she was upset at first because she stayed in her house the whole weekend. However, they found out she was upset when she found them at Sweet Apple Acres. They were going to follow her after she flew away, but Starstruck blocked their way

3762944

I'm sorry you didn't like my story, it's my first one.. I apologize about the misspelling of Rainbow Dash, I didn't realize I was spelling it wrong :twilightblush: And Rainbow Dash's friends just threw a little party to thank Starstruck, it was nothing serious, but to Rainbow Dash it was. Her friends just didn't want to invite her because they didn't want her and Starstruck to fight. It looked bad to Rainbow Dash, but it really wasn't.

I like this fanfic, it's actually pretty good :pinkiesmile: I hope to see more fanfics from you!

cool fanfic...

3762645 I find it hilarious that this comment got 2 dislikes over my horrible pun. come on people its a joke, laugh a little why don't ya? :pinkiesmile:

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