How Discord Stole Hearth's Warming

by ShinyBidoof

How Discord Stole Hearth's Warming

Every pony in Ponyville liked Hearth’s Warming a lot,
But the spirit of chaos and disharmony, Discord, did not.

Discord hated Hearth’s Warming, the whole joyous season.
Please, don’t ask me why, nopony quite knows the reason.
Perhaps the cold weather made him feel all that spite.
Perhaps his animal parts weren't all attached right.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But whatever the reason, his heart or the weather,
He stood there in the snow, feeling no pleasure.
Staring down from his perch with an ominous frown
At the warm lighted windows below in the town.

For he knew every pony in Ponyville below,
Would be wrapping their presents and playing in the snow.
“And they’re hanging decorations,” Discord snarled with a sneer.
“It’s Hearth’s Warming Eve. The season’s practically here!”

Then he growled to himself and continued his shunning,
“I must find some way to keep Hearth’s Warming from coming.”

“For, tomorrow, I know every filly and colt
Will awaken bright and early, and to their presents they’ll bolt.
They’ll unwrap all those gifts, they’ll unwrap every toy,
And then the joy, oh the joy, the joy, joy, joy, joy!
If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s the joy, joy, joy, joy…”

“For Twilight some books and a set of new quills.
For Pinkie Pie a new party cannon, with which to have thrills,
For Scootaloo a new Scooter, For Apple Bloom a new bow,
For Rarity new needles and fabric to sew.”

“Then the ponies, young and old, will sit down to a feast,
And they’ll feast, and they’ll feast, and they’ll feast, feast, feast, feast!
Apple dumplings, carrot cake… I can’t stand it in the least!
They’ll feast it all away, every last piece!"

“And then they’ll do something that makes me gag in revolt,
All the ponies in Ponyville, every filly and colt,
They’ll drop what they’re doing and stand in a throng.
They’ll stand close together and randomly burst into song.”

“And they’ll sing, and they’ll sing,
And they’ll sing, sing, sing, sing…”

And the more Discord thought of this Ponyville song,
The more the draconequus thought, “This is wrong!”
“What happened to Equestria while I was a statue?
Where’s the mayhem, the disorder, the chaos, I ask you?
I’ve put up with this nonsense for far too long now.
I must stop this harmonious season, but how?”

Then, he got an idea, an awful idea.
Discord got a chaotic, destructive, idea.
“I know just what I’ll do!” The great trickster said,
“If those ponies won’t have chaos, then I’ll make some instead.”

And with a snap of his fingers he made a quick change,
And in an instant his form shifted into something less strange.
Discord laughed with great pleasure “What fun this will be.
Why, with this new form, I look just like a pony.”

And he conjured up a sleigh and some old empty sacks,
Then he tied himself in and quickly made tracks.
With a mighty step forward the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the ponies lay asnooze in their town.

All their windows were dark, quiet snow filled the scene
When he came to a house with a fashionable theme.
“Carousel Boutique,” Discord hissed eagerly.
“I suppose a good place to start is with Rarity.”

And he climbed to the roof, a few sacks in tow.
And he slithered down the chimney to the house below.
He got stuck only once, for a minute or two,
But then he remembered he could just teleport through.

There were little pony dresses on their stands in a row.
“These dresses,” Discord said, “Are the first things to go!”
Then he grinned evilly, it was a sight most unpleasant.
And he stalked about the room, taking every present!
Candy! And horseshoes! Roller skates! Trains!
Checkerboards! Saddles! Popcorn! Toy planes!

He took every gift, every single decoration
All the ribbons and trimmings, from every location

He stuffed them in sacks and then, very nimbly,
Stuffed them all, one-by-one, straight up the chimney.

Then he slunk to the kitchen. He took the ponies’ feast.
He took all the baked goods. He even took their cooking grease!

He stuffed it all up the chimney with glee.
“And now,” Discord said, “I will stuff up their tree!”

But as Discord took the tree and started to shove
He heard a soft sound, like the coo of a dove.
He turned around so fast that he nearly fell.
Standing there in the hall was the pony, Sweetie Belle.

The filly stared; confused by the sight she was viewing,
“Excuse me,” she said, “What the hay are you doing?”

But you know, that old Discord is so smart and so sly,
He cast a quick spell and fed her a lie.
“Why nothing, my dear,” Discord simply said.
“There’s nopony here. You should go back to bed.”
And his spell fooled the filly, and she quickly fell asleep.
For the rest of the night, she wouldn’t make a peep.

And when Sweetie Belle’s hypnotized eyes finally shut
Discord went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up.
Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar,
On the walls he left nothing, just hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food Discord left in the house
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

Then he did the same thing to the other ponies’ houses,
Leaving crumbs much too small for the other ponies’ mouses.
It was a quarter to dawn; all the ponies still a-bed
All of them asnooze when he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents, their ribbons, their wrappings,
All the tags, all the tinsel, all the trimmings and trappings.

A thousand feet up, to the side of a cliff
Discord rode through the night to dump every gift.
“They’re in for a surprise,” He was cheerily humming.
“Those ponies will see that Hearth’s Warming’s not coming.
They’re waking up now. I simply can’t wait!
All those looks on their faces when they realize too late…”

“They’ll be sad for a bit, it’ll be such a shame.
But then, very soon, they’ll all start to blame!
They’ll accuse, become angry, they’ll shout and throw fits!
They’ll argue and scream over all their lost bits!
And when the chaos is more than any can bear
Every pony in Ponyville will cry out in despair.”

“That’s a noise,” Discord said, “That I simply must hear.”
He paused for a moment and put a hoof to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow,
It started in low, and then started to grow.

But this sound wasn't mad. This sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be true, but it was merry… very!
Discord stared down and popped his eyes.
Then he shook. What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every pony in Ponyville, from Rainbow Dash to the Mayor
Was singing, seemingly without any care.
He hadn't stopped Hearth’s Warming from coming. It came!
Somehow or another, it came just the same.

And Discord with his hooves Ice-cold in the snow
Just stood there, dumbfounded, “How could this be so?
They should all be panicking, screaming, and hating,
Loathing, despising, shouting, berating!”

He puzzled and puzzled, until his puzzler was sore,
Then Discord thought of something he hadn't before.
“Maybe Hearth’s Warming,” he thought, “Doesn't come from a store.”
“Maybe, just maybe, it’s about something more.”

And what happened then? Well, in Ponyville they say
That Discord’s small heart grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light.

And he brought back their toys, all the food for their feast,
Every tree, every wreath, and last but not least…
Discord, who had once brought terror to Equestria,
Wrote a letter that began, “Dear Princess Celestia…”

Welcome, Hearth’s Warming. Bring all your cheer,
Cheer to everypony, far and near…

For this day is a day to feel most ecstatic,
And to remember, truly, that friendship is magic.

Author's Note:

I own nothing, least of all any copyrighted characters or stories. This is an adaptation/parody and nothing more.

Comments

[Test4Echo]

This was great! You did an excellent job combining FiM and the Grinch together into something truly new and unique. Ten out of ten moustaches!

Rush and Pony on!
T4E

[Diamond Sparkle]

Very well done.

[Dutch Tilt]

I did reading of this for a couple of friends of mine, and we all agreed it was very well written, and a treat for those who enjoy the festive season.

[HyperBlossom7]

Wow! This was very well done! I loved it! You get a happy Pinkie Pie as a prize!

[Seether00]

Clap clap clap!

Wonderful!

[Element Of Friendship]

That was sooo adorable!!! I love how you made it rhyme! I was thinking that this would actually make a really cute episode of my little pony Christmas episode!
when I saw that it rhyme I was like omg that was awesome!! And the ending touched my heart!
I find it strange, though, that the grinch's heart is one size too big.

[G-man64]

Very good. I really enjoyed it. Here's the happiest emoticons.

[keaton-furman-prower]

That was... actually really nicely done!

Dr. Seuss would be proud

[Brony_Fife]

There sat a brony, all grump and all cross.
In his chair, quite aware that his cheer was quite lost.
He sat there, in a daze, in anger and tears
Lamenting his age, every wasted year.
What was the point of struggle? he thought with a frown.
For every inch up, I fall one mile down!
Do I not try hard enough? Do I not have enough friends?
When, oh when, when will my sorrow just end?

But then he saw, right there on his screen
A title for a short story, about a creature so mean
He'd steal every present from the great and the small
Because he craved chaos -- for others, he cared not at all.

So he clicked on that link,
Expecting the story to stink,
But with the link came a story that made this fink think.
Sure, it was a tale that was ageless and fun,
The very story a parent tells a daughter or son
When the snow piles high outside, and there are presents under a tree
And when he heard it, the brony was only three
--and the story filled him with glee.

But alas! The tale had been done over and again
Again and again, oh HEAVEN, when would it end???
When writers, at a loss for a story to tell
When their creativity becomes a dry well
They gravitate to the greats and steal from their plates
In a desperate attempt to satiate! Too late!
Who is this guy trying to impress? thought the grumpy rude dude.
I've read this story a million times! he hissed and he boo'd.

With teeth clenched in hate and a quite vicious groan
This one grumpy brony would make his opinion known.
He would click on that thumbs-down icon, and then go away.
This writer knew better! What else could he say?
But as he scrolled down, past the tired old rhymes
Past the borrowed phrases from more classic times,
He saw something he hadn't before--something he at first had ignored.
And when he saw it again, his small heart craved more.

You can call it nostalgia, a longing for simpler times.
You can accuse me of being wistful and lonely -- that's fine.
And I quite agree, Grinch parodies should be given a rest
But when an artist must steal, he should steal from the best.
For with Dr. Suess' clever verse, plus some cute little ponies
It makes better artists even out of the phonies.

As for the grumpy old brony,
Who was so angry and lonely,
He felt something stir inside him, something warm and growing.
His frown became a smile so big he was glowing!
And with a chuckle, he cast his bad mood aside
"Oh what was I worrying about?" he said as he sighed.
And clicked the thumb's-up button without even a thought
Because this cute little ripoff had sure hit the spot.

And for as much as we all worry about the world
About paying bills, keeping house, or impressing your girl,
There's no reason to let our frustrations run loose
So long as we can always read some good ole' Dr. Suess.

[ShinyBidoof]

3620629
You were right to be skeptical. I was honestly surprised that more people hadn't at least attempted something like this (I did a check before I started writing and found only one other similar post).
Honestly, I didn't know what to expect when I posted it, or if I should even have expectations (This was my first fanfic after all).
I'm glad that you enjoyed it, but I'm even more glad that you took the time to respond the way you did. Constructive criticism is always appreciated, especially if it rhymes. Happy holidays, and thank you.

P.S. Seriously, you rhymed the whole thing. That's awesome!

[Merp Queen]

This is a cool fanfic I'll try to post a fanfic reading of this on my You tube channel :)

[NobodieZ]

Wonderful job on this story. I like how you incorporated Discord's flair while staying true to the source material.