• Member Since 2nd Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 3rd, 2016

Huskyfan


I live in Austria, I love MLP fanfictions, especially good written sadfics.

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It seemed like a normal trip to Sugarcube Corner, but this trip will change Derpy's life forever.


This is my first Fanfic, and I would be glad if you would point out any mistakes in this story, so I can get better at writing.
I hope you like it!

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 16 )

No! Derpy, you have so much left to live for! IT ISN'T WORTH IT! :raritycry:

Wahhhhhhhhhhh! Wahhhhhhhhh!
Why derpy why i still love you! :(

Derpy no! You still have friends! *Continues reading till end of story* That's IT! *Writes down names of all the bullies that hurt Derpy* Well I'm off to kill Cloudchaser first:pinkiehappy:. I noticed this story is complete. Shame, it was very good but when Derpy was falling I thought there would be another chapter and someone saves her... Good story though. I'm liking it. "Hey Cloudchaser! I got something for you!" {I know I'm creepy}

When did Equestria become Nazi Germany???

Rainbow must DIE :flutterrage: why would she say that? :raritydespair:

Poor derpy, aww man i'm already loving this story. But there is one thing i want to know, are you trying to write in first or third person because the story
sways slightly between the two. The speech and narration is a bit confusing to me, i would like it if you could clarify it for me/:twilightsmile:

3413816

I tried to make a mix of both. Third person for most of the time, but I also wanted to bring in the thoughts of Derpy too, to get an better understanding of what Derpy feels like.

:fluttercry: I hate you for writing such a sad tale about Derpy.... but I love you for making it so well written....... I am undecided.

3415910 ok that simplifies it a bit more. But sometimes for a reader it's easier to keep up if you would stay consistent with either the 3rd person or 1st person perspective. Personally i think first person would be more fitting for this style of writing, and maybe adding one of those journal entries at the end of each chapter would make it even more deep and thought provoking.

And just to tell you i would love to see more of this sooner or later.:twilightsmile:

3416760

I might make a sequel to this story, but at the moment I'm working on a new story, featuring Sweetie Belle. It should be quite interesting, and longer too.

3416780 Nice i cant wait to see it.

I think this is a very good story but I don't think Rainbow is that kind of pony
PLEASE DON'T KILL OFF DERPY!!!!!!

Me: "Well off to see derpy." Other: Dont go she is a retard!" Me: BE QUIET

There's a tag for that, you know.

Could use work, but it's alright.

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