Flowers, Blossom!

by Monsieur Bleu

Ear to Ear

My gift to the world—may she long enjoy the calamity.
The student of my student, as with sages in years past,
is by stake and necessity the fruit of my labor, the work of my hands.
Of all the idiotic things we could have done:
of none am I prouder.

Now if Harvard would start admitting earth ponies I would really be tickled.

The ride to Dr. Pants house was as boring as the train ride, true, not as tedious, but equally as boring. In fact, maybe a tad more, I have known Fancy for a long time there are few details about him of which I am ignorant. That sculptor was a new person to meet, from a different nation with a different perspective. Fancy and I went to Yale together—he swore he would never forgive me for accepting a faculty position at Harvard.

His estate itself was rather nice—if one desires to mimic every stereotype possible about a Carolina plantation.

~*~

E'ry thing had changed, ya can't uncrack an egg, ya can't unring a bell. Things was gonna be different 'tween all of us, maybe fer the betta

It was one of them times where e’eryone knew not to talk. Sweetie’s sista made a drink for us with some-a that clear hooch and tomato juice, she also added some peppa and some other spices. I was reluctan to have some at first, thinkin’ ‘bout hooch at all made me all queasy, but Sweetie said it would make me feel betta—and it did take away from the poundin’ in mah ears.

“So Pinky, what topic are you planning to lecture about?” the Professor asked holdin’ a hot water bag te her head.

“I was thinking about discussing how expansion to the west affects the economy, and how current policy influences this process.”

“Sounds wonderful.”

“Not gonna talk about the—“

“Jackie, I swear to god, if you say that, I am going to beat your muddy ass to death.”

E’erypony knew this was the professor tryin’te be funny.

“—the question of expansion of slavery into the west?”

“Jackie, please remind me to kill you at some point… Anyway… So really you won’t address the gigantic elephant in the room?”

“I wasn’t intending to—I like havin’ fun with an audience as much as the next dirt pony—but I ain’t looking to get lynched by fraternity brothers.”

“Surely you have more faith in our students?” Dr. Shy interjected.

“I don’t,” the professor retorted.

“Girls, can we pick another topic to discuss?” Rarity bemoaned.

“Ooh ooh, I know… let’s talk about Buffalo-settler relations!”

“NO!” we all said in unison, including Mac.

~*~

“Professor Discord, welcome to my humble abode.”

“Humble?”

“Don’t be an arse about it you traitor.”

“Well at least I didn’t end up in some shit-hole university in…”

“Monsieur Discord?” interrupted his wife, or mistress.

“Madame, appelez-vous?”

“Je suis Fleur-de-Lis, et vous?”

“Je suis un professeur d’Harvard”

“Magnifique ! Mon amour, escortez-vous notre invite à leur chambre ?”

“Oui, m’amour,” he turned to me, “mais, vous êtes toujours un traître.”

“C’est juste.”

He smiled.

Two young earth ponies, lavender and silver respectively , stepped out of the house.

"These are my house muddies, Diamond and Silver. They will help you with your bags, Professor."

They each took one of my bags and made their way into the mansion, after a moment we followed.

"Do you actually even have any non-house slaves?" I asked.

"No."

"Then was the modifier really necessary?"

"Oh lord, you are worse than Celesta."

"You don't have to work with here every day."

"I have a feeling you cause her far more trouble than she does you. Let me guess... you told her about this little jaunt... say a day before you left?"

"I actually told her the morning of."

"Exactly."

~*~

Twilight was fuming. Cadenza telegrammed her as soon as she had been informed by Celestia… after returning from a two week long vacation.

TO PROFESSOR TWILIGHT SPARKLE

TWILIGHT DISCORD GOING TO CRASH THE PARTY STOP WATCH OUT FOR TROUBLE STOP LEFT FIVE DAYS AGO STOP HE IS STAYING WITH PANTS STOP

CADENZA

“That son of bitch!” she growled under her breath.

The young stallion form the university telegraph office quietly slouched out the door.

Composing herself, she took a hardy gulp form her flask and tried to delicately step out of her office. Dr. Pants was not in his office, how convenient.

“Fluttershy,” she asked, poking her head through her friend’s office door, “did Discord mention that he was going to be attending Pinky’s lecture tomorrow?”

“Yes,” she chimed, looking up.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought he would have told you… wait… did he not?”

“Nope… does Pinky know?”

“Yes.”

“So why was I left in the dark about this…”

“… Om… maybe he wanted to surprise you.”

Twilight’s eyelid twitched.

“…Or maybe he just forgot…”

“No. Dr. Shy. Discord does not forget. Ever.”

~*~

“So wait, I thought your parents were Prench?” Fancy started as Diamond poured him another glass of wine.

“They were, but my mother was born in Draconeqo*,” I responded taking a bite from my salad.

“Wait, isn’t that part of Prance?”

“Non mon amore, they have been independent for a long time.”

“Is the country majority Draconequus?”

“No, Draconequus only make up about a third of the population, but it is where most of us do live.”

“Like nearly all Alicorns live in Roam, but they still make up a minority there?”

“Exactly, though unlike the Papess, the house of Drimaldi looks like it is going to stay in power.”

“Do you actually think they will manage to unify Crystaly?”

“At this rate it is inevitable. Republican and Monarchists have put aside their differences, now united behind Victor Emaneuel—”

There was a loud banging on the door.

“Silver, be a dear and check the door.” The earth pony nodded and made her way towards the foyer. “I wonder who that could be.”

“I have idea,” I grinned.

“I really hope th—”

“Discord!”

“—at you told Professor Sparkle about your visit,” he sighed.

“Nope.”

“Where are they?” her shout audible across the residence

“Um… they’re in the dining parlor, ma’am,” a much softer voice replied.

Soon enough standing before them was the disheveled form of their dear friend and colleague.

“I swear on my life, you will not fuck this up!”

“Oh, Professor, I don’t intend to,” I said, smiling from ear to ear.

Author's Note:

* A play on Monaco.

Comments

[FoolRegnant]

So, at first I was gonna say that I love this story. I love the characterization, I love how you know how to properly write an AU, and I love how your stream of consciousness flows.
And then I reached this chapter. What's with all the dialogue? Previously, all the writing worked around heavy stream of consciousness with spouts of dialogue that made for a very enticing style. In this chapter, everything feels like it falls flat. The interactions between the plantation characters feels out-of-place and at odds with the message and intent of the rest of the story, and the dialogue heavy scene between Discord and Fancy Pants, while moderately interesting, especially in terms of world-building, feels at odds with the pacing and style of the rest of the fic. In some ways, this chapter feels like it was written by someone entirely different.

Other slight issues.
From "Hideout"

"Yea… you aren’t the first one to come to me with this. Wine?"
"Of course."
I levitated the decanter and glass over to her; she poured herself a glass.
"Many tenured faculty in this school are… a tad racist."
"Yea… well... that’s why I’m here," she perked up. "We need ponies to start to work together. We need to keep pushing for full equality!"

'Yea' is a ridiculous word to use in this sense. Even in the antebellum South, 'yea' would have been considered archaic and overly formal. Any other word for 'yes', if not 'yes' itself, is more appropriate.

From "Quite the Treat"

Janus, empirically there, smiling duel—unease and ease, tears of joy and sorrow.

I presume this should be 'dual', not 'duel', considering, you know, Janus.

From this chapter

"Oh lord, you are worse than Celesta."

'Celestia', presumably, considering she is referred to as such later.

One other issue I have is in the world building. It feels strange how some things are Ponified, but others are not. If Prance, Draconeqo, Crystaly, and Roam, why America, Carolina, Virginia, Massachusetts, Boston, Harvard? I feel like this should be all or nothing, because at this point it just feels very awkward and half-done. Secondly, I'm honestly slightly confused. Are these characters totally ponies? Not humanized, not anthro? Because there are certain points at which it's very hard to tell.
From An Allusion to Chaos; or, an account of an incident in which alcohol and libido blurred class and racial boundaries in the Antebellum South

Elsewhere in the pub, near a rain streaked window, a black woman with acid straitened hair, an All Souls Fellow, eyes a small stone via a magnifying glass. She sips beer in out of the stein she purchased in Salzburg.

Why is Maud described as a woman? Am I missing something? OH and, just before this, we get treated to entirely human place names going from Oxford out. Why the discrepancy?

I really love the idea behind this fic, as well as much of the execution, but the waywardness of the world building and the aberrant writing in this most recent chapter makes me question this. I'm going to give a like anyway, if only because it really is a fascinating idea and the first eight chapters were entrancing.

[Monsieur Bleu]

5715818
3965476

Thank you for the feedback it is very much appreciated. Also, I am glad you like the story.

Sorry for the long delay. I am reworking the last chapter; it was intended to be experimental, but it may have indeed gone overboard. In terms of anthro/human/pony, the characters are all ponies (except for discord and spike). The reason for their becoming humans in the previous chapter, and at the start of the the Greco-Romantic chapter, is... for fun. It is experimental after all.

"It's po-mo... post-modern... weird for the sake of weird." - Moe Sizlack

Remember also that Twilight is not a southerner, she is from New England, and her mannerisms are intended to reflect that--she feels very uncomfortable with the whole situation, and occasionally lets on.

As for the names. I could chalk it up to post-modernism being weird, but in reality... i have a hard time coming up with good pony-sounding names/puns, so I only use preexisting ones. I should probably go ahead and just de-ponify everything, or try to come up with them... we'll see.

Anyway revised chapter and new chapter coming soon.

Thanks again,

~ M. Bleu