I Bled for You

Rusty Hoof gave the entirety of his youth and vigor away to protect Equestria. Now that his youth and strength are gone, why does nopony protect him?

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Comments ( 8 )

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Changeling-Drone

Changeling-Drone #1 · Sep 27th, 2013 · · ·

That is it???

Dusty Sage

Dusty Sage #2 · Sep 27th, 2013 · 1 · ·

The end is perhaps a bit abrupt, but isn't it always so on the Mean Streets?

TheTobacconist

TheTobacconist #3 · Sep 27th, 2013 · · ·

3264355
Afraid so. I'm a firm believer in brevity. I don't think making this last for ten thousand words would really make the story more compelling.

Starlight_Flight

Starlight_Flight #4 · Sep 27th, 2013 · 1 · ·

3264355
Yep, that seems to be all there is. And up to the end, I've seen it. In times and places where there are no separately-staffed prisons for the police to dump people, this probably did happen now and then.
3264391
Brief or not, this reads more like a police report. Terseness is fine, but there's an art to depth in one's writing. You might consider the characterization and expression you find in a favorite writer's work. Even Herman Melville, famed for terseness, had to build depth into his writing if he wanted people to enjoy it, and that does add length to the work. If you add words, they do still have to work for the story, but I think you can do that. After all, you've got a very good story that's just wanting a little bit of feeding to really satisfy.

Ironically enough.

TambourineBlossom

TambourineBlossom #5 · Sep 27th, 2013 · · ·

3264469
this probably did happen now and then.

Approximately 13% of the homeless population are veterans. Approximately 7% of the general population are veterans.
The US Department of Housing and Urban Development estimates there are 62,619 homeless veterans on any given night, and more that are homeless only part of the year.
If there's one type of person the police don't like to deal with, it's the homeless.
(Trigger warning: graphic videos)

I'm a veteran. I was homeless in California for a winter about five years ago. Every time the cops approached me, they made it quite clear that I was someone else's problem and they wanted to keep it that way. Leave, or we'll put you away and forget about you.

Georg