A young Twilight is responsible for the possible creation of the world's first human. What is this new species like? Can they be friends? Or are some differences too great for even friendship to overcome?
This is my first "Human in Equestria" fic, but I think I've added a twist or two. Namely, the origins and character of said human. This is going to be a fairly long story, at least by my standards, so get ready for a ride that will last from Twilight's getting her Cutie Mark into season one.
Chapters (3)
Honestly, if you have anything to say about this story, I'd love to hear it. Criticism makes this story better.
Also, first!
I love the idea and the part with the magic sight. The only thing that bugged me was the "trying talking", at the beginning. Use trying to talk or tried talking. Can't wait to meet the human.
Looks solid so far, engaging throughout. All the characters, even as little as we see of Twilight's family feel interesting. The titular human is the big question, but based on this chapter and your previous work, I'm pretty confident.
And the numbers guy is right about "trying talking." It should be "trying to talk."
3260208>>3260725 Went back and made that edit. The next chapter should be up fairly soon, and with it we'll meet our human!
I'm about half way done with chapter 2. We should be meeting most of our mane cast of characters soon. Expect a surprise or two!
lol, I can't wait till the next part
Nice to see a Transformations entry that doesn't have obvious spelling errors in the summary. Not really my bag, this one, but good luck.
(Why, yes, I do check each and every submission to the group.
)
Who hit him with a chair?
Humans don't swear to Celestia.
3274005 Hence his confusion. He doesn't even know what a Celestia is.
All will be explained soon!
3275329 will he get a more human thing to swear to soon?
3275940 Honestly, he won't be swearing that much in general. The whole writhing in pain thing makes this the exception.
3275994I know but will he?
3276070 It's a minor SPOILER but the human will tend to use more species-neutral terms when possible. Human-specific terms will be difficult for him, if only because he's The Only One, and therefore will have limited knowledge of humanity at times.
In fact, one of the story's themes will be how he deals with defining humanity despite his being alone.
Be there human magic?
M. Night shamalon would love this fix!
I actually think there is a lot of potential in this story (even now). Too bad it was never finished. Props to the author.