There were five alicorns in the prophecy Star Swirl decoded. "Two sisters, night and day. One Alicorn to represent the Crystal Kingdom. An Alicorn not born, but one made. And one to be a mystery." The first four are found. But where's the fifth? Celestia's discovered something new-that Star Swirl didn't finish decoding the prophecy before he died. And when Celestia tries to decode the rest-she finds out something horrible about this new fifth alicorn.
And there's even more to the prophecy that Celestia can't decode...
Chapters (3)
If you have any suggestions please comment them, and I'm looking for an editor
Just browsed the first page and found this. Just a friendly factor to point out. It's officially been shown in a book for MLP that Cadence originally was a pegasus whom also ascended as Twilight has. Just thought I'd mention that. But unlike Cadence, Twilight became Celestia's student before ascension, whereas Cadence became one after.
I think this new alicorn should be red
. Y'know, to go in line with the...
i1174.photobucket.com/albums/r601/XB0XER/The%20Salted%20Pingai/sHADESPingas_zps183a9c07.png
...dislike bar.
EDIT: Looking for an editor? There's a group for that
First off, I actually like this story premise but it feels a bit rushed. Second off, you need to be more creative in your writing instead of just using plain adjectives. Still, good story chapter.
I return!
A huge improvement to the storys pacing until you got to the scene with celestia and Luna talking, but still a good read.
I hope to see more.
I would like to make some better cover art, but even though I'm amazing with a pencil and paper I am no good at computer art, and scanning my drawings in just doesn't work for the picture's size...Does anyone make cover art for free (and for anyone?) I'd like soeone to make some art for me, thanks
3140613 I love your advice. Thanks so much, I'll try to make my story better...I know my writing is not good but I'm not very old...
I'm not even a teenI'm not even experiencedAlt description:
There was five alicorns in the prophesy star swirl decoded "Two alicorns, night and day, two created and not born, one earth bound with magic, the other sky high, the last a mystery." The first four are found. But where's the fifth?
Errr... the overall plot's a little too convoluted. What is this relic exactly and why did / hows does Starswirl decode it? I mean, when he found it it was probably just some piece of pottery or a marking on a wall or something, and it must have just looked like random gibberish. He'd have had to know or have a good hunch that it was special, then figure out how to decode it and come up with the answer being that five alicorns would one day be created and that (I presume, since you don't say anything more about the prophesy) them assembling would do something... either good or bad, not quite sure. Now I assume at the time Celestia + Luna were not very well known or weren't the monarchs because if he had known about them, he would have showed them the artifact and what he thought it meant and when this story began they would already be searching for the last alicorn because they already found Cadance / Twilight. But seeing as they don't know until, like, just at the start of this story that they are suppose to fulfill a prophesy involving alicorns, why was Celestia already turning ponies into alicorns? There must already be a special significance to alicorns since she chose to turn Cadance and Twilight into one, not to mention her and her sister have BEEN alicorns since (presumably) they were born so they must know how they came to be and what their purpose is.
Star Swirl does not need to be a plot tool in your story, just have it start with Celestia and Luna being worried about how the last alicorn hasn't been found yet. The Star Swirl thing just poses too many questions and is redundant.
Also Celestia and Luna act like teenagers and not their wise, very old selves. Kind of an issue.
And then of course you barely describe anything and rush through scenes :/ Not a very entertaining read, though I am intrigued to see what happens to Raspberry Dapple (I think you mean Dabble? Unless there's such a thing as a Dapple, I have no clue).
You ripped this off from me, didn't you?
Celestia was turning ponies into alicorns because she saw that they would be a great help to the kingdom, because she kind of foresaw hat in the future Equestria would have to face worse problems-at least that's what I'm thinking, I'll sure to try and include that stuff in the story in some place later on. Thank you so much for pointing that out
3141168 No, I didn't.
Sorry about 'The Ascension," that chapter is horrible I know
I'll try to learn to make things more descriptive.
No, Razalon i did NOT rip this off from you!!
And Salted Pingas the alicorn was already going to be red..
why am I getting so much dislikes?
Oh fuk bedtimes i am 12 and it is 11:56 p.m i was in bed a 9:00oh by the way kust keep fuckin righting tell your mom well fuck u i am staying up bitch so leave me the fuck alone
