"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell
Twilight is preparing to leave Equestria, to the land beyond Cloudsdale... She's not packing, she's not camping... She's dying. As recent events show her that her time has come, she decides to write a letter to all the ponies that she loves. Although many of them are coming of age themselves... Twilight writes this letter in memory of their times together... From the good and the bad.
The picture isn't mine but soon there will be.
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Goddamnit. Couple more coats of polish and some rewarding this awesome could be fucktastic.
This has the potential to be good but, in the end, fails on just one ground: It doesn't really have any original content worth mentioning; it's just a summary of events in the series to date divided up by character. The only exception is the mention of the CMCs and I'm afraid that really doesn't make it worth it.
It would have been so much better if it had been Twilight learning about the lessons of friendship and how much happier she was from having learnt them.
It was a valiant attempt and doesn't have any serious technical issues it's just... well, a bit 'meh' really.
So... Sad...
Well, in the paragraph with Scootaloo, I saw a few grammar errors, but not bad!
I'm glad that this is over, I can't take anymore sad-
*sees incomplete label*
I dont know if I want to read this or not, it seems good and all, but, sadness? oh god. I'll try this.. See you on the other side!
3342641 Shouldent of read this
3342369 Where is the errors? I'll fix them.
3346095 In the paragraph where she describes modern Scoots, not future, there were a couple. I don't know how to put a thing from the text without copy/paste, so that's the best I can do. Sorry.
3347640 It's ok, thanks for telling me... The moderators didn't say anything about it. But I think that's their job. Thx for telling me.
3347665
I agree with BenRG - while reading I could skip a lot of the story because I know described situations by heart. Still, it was a good attempt, and the way it ends is kinda touching. Keep up the good work!
Touching, indeed.
Mechanically, there are a few errors, and all of them have been flagged by others. Three Shattered Skulls out of Five.
It flows as memories do: they stream into the mind in an order easy to tell with observation, and are written as well as I'd imagine they could be. Five Shattered Skulls.
Plot: More of an anthology or a memoir than a story, but a well-done anthology that waves a good farewell from Twilight Sparkle to her friends. Four Shattered Skulls.
Other: With reference to the mechanical errors pointed out, they fit well into the story because it's a final letter. I can see that, in Twilight Sparkle's head, she isn't concerned with proofreading and things too particular; no, she is only concerned with getting her thoughts out for her friends to see before it's too late. The errors add an interesting flavour to the story and, for that, an extra rating of Five Shattered Skulls.
Overall: a solid Four Shattered Skulls out of Five.
so what made twilights heart get all messed up and why does she need a machine to keep it going
There should be a background story
3442904
I am planning to make a background story. Like a prequel. Yes, it has been so long since it had been posted, but you seem to be requesting it. And I am willing to do this, maybe then you'll understand. Not trying to be rude.
3728310 Na, i'm fine with it. It's been so long since i've read this
3728361 OK.