• Member Since 11th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen March 20th


"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell


The story of the making of Nightmare Moon. Looking back on the day Princess Luna became Nightmare Moon. Throughout the pain and suffering Princess Luna went through, to make Celestia see, that she was done. This was the only way.

Based off this song: Do you want to see the moonrise by silverquill

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 26 )

Yes, Yes thou wishes to see the moonrise thy dear princess of the beautiful nigh on witch i hold so highly. Yes. I want to see the moonrise...


Alright here's some problems.the grammar is damn awful and the storyline is bad.

3932696 Is this bad comment, or are you okay with it?
3933735 Listen, it was a one day fanfiction and I thought it would be okay. I knew in the back of my mind, it would turn out like my Twilight Murder fanfiction. I was expecting reviews like this from some bronies. I was expecting that. So, I'm sorry for this... but I'm glad that there was at least 1 good review from someone.

This, my good pony, is a complement. I do so love your writing.:moustache:

3934789 Thank you!:heart::pinkiehappy: I just wanted to be sure!


Alright here's some problems.the grammar is damn awful and the storyline is bad.

When you criticize a story, please do it correctly. Try this-
"Alright, here are some problems; the grammar needs some correcting, and I personally don't like the story line."
Criticisms shouldn't make an author feel like manure: instead, they should let the author see their mistakes, correct it, and make it better. I'm not trying to be a grammar-nazi or anything, but please don't be a hypocrite. I try not to be, though I admit that I slip up sometimes. :fluttershysad:
Please don't be offended, because that wasn't my intention.

3934407 I think that it is a good story, and it was very fun to read. I listened to "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" (I am not sure if that is the actual title, though.) while reading it, and I like how Luna's words in the song went perfectly with the rhythm of the actual song. Brilliant! :pinkiesmile:

~Honey Glen

3949984 The actual song to this fanfic is Do you wanna see the moonrise, but the song is a parody of the song Do you wanna build a snowman? And Thanks!:pinkiehappy:

3933735 Actually the spelling is correct. The story is based on a song parody of Do you want to build a snowman from frozen called Do you want to see the moonrise? Obliviously the author used the old English word "thou" which means you and they used the eilemonty and memj cover of the parody song. I sing this song with thou instead of you during Luna's parts since its in the past. I would know this since I'm a Luna and nightmare moon fan.

I must say if this story wasn't already made by you, I would had made it. I fell in love of the song and kept singing it constantly. The story reminds me of my role play as Princess Luna. This makes me happy. I actually imagined some of the scenes in my story of the song. I'm believe you did a much better job than this fan here.


Thank you! :heart:
I think you could do just as good as well!

4083085 true...but I'm more a song-writer and artist. My account name is really my DeviantArt name. I came to this place just recently since I can actually put my stories of my oc, Princess Autumn also because most of the stories I kinda make have Celestia and Luna. I was just about to put my song "Celestia" on here in story platform. I made the song based off my friend who is younger than me but treats me like Celestia would with Luna. :unsuresweetie:

4082800 I think what he meant was the grammar. However, I have not heard the song, so I don't know what is intentional or unintentional. Spelling is fine, and the story is fine. To me though, the grammar hinders my ability to read the story correctly (Again, have not heard the song). For example:
To author and other commentator:

"I can;t fight it anymore!"

' instead of ;

Every pony was asleep they didn't have any dreams.

The lack of commas makes reading this sentence too fast.

All in all, it was a good concept. Just a lack of proper grammar and sentence structure. Spelling is still good. Sorry if I come off as rude. :twilightblush:

4327936 Sorry, my keyboard on my new laptop hasn't worked right very often. Added on to the thing that my fingers hit the wrong keys all the time, and I don't notice it until the problem is mentioned. Thank you for letting my know that. :pinkiehappy:

4333555 XD I know what you mean. Even worse is when a phone wants to autocorrect. XD

4335118 Yes! My IPod is the worst of it. It keeps changing "were" always to "we're"

I went over it and changed as much as I could from the errors that I saw.

4336615 Yep. I try to not use my phone to type stories unless I have absolutely no other choice.

4342804 Same, or late at night and I have the sudden burst of idea wave, at 2 am. :rainbowlaugh:

4343656 Yep, gotta save those ideas. Some are really good... I currently have four stories in the same universe. Working on writing the first story. By universe, I mean that those stories are inter-related, and also differ slightly from established show cannon.

4348054 Oo! When you post them, I shall read them! :pinkiehappy:

:fluttercry: Wonderful story. Very touching. :raritycry:

im surprised that they let u post this with only 70 words i thought the rule was to try and get 1000 words in each chapter

7864410 Thousand in a story when I posted it. This was a couple of years ago I think and the rules might've changed since.

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