My name is Cameron. I am a musician, a writer, a singer, and a member of the band Bless Our Demise. My stories are mainly sad because I believe in expressing my emotions through stories...and songs.
My first love story of Derpy. Rainbow has been acting weird around Derpy lately but Derpy doesn't find it odd. Nor does she find it more odd that Rainbow quietly invited Derpy over to hang out. While Rainbow is still deciding whether to tell Derpy her true feelings about her or keep it to herself.
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Derainbow? Rainpy? DERPYDASH?
...
Hm...
Derpy gasped and complimented >Rariy< on how beautiful it looked
Hey dude , not bad . Simple and straight forward , refrain from using said and asked replied . Makes it a bit too simple ^_^
Derpy's a mom? When did this happen?
Derpbow, and I can't say I'm terribly impressed. I like the idea, but the story was confusingly laid out, rushed, and severely lacking in details.
3214783im gonna have to agree, I wasn't saying I was expecting a freaking book or anything but, wll it seemed to have the them of: and then they did this, and then they did this, and THEN they did this, blah blah blah. Put some feeling behind there words to broaden the story
They still.... Kinda sound like robots
At the part where Rarity said how Sweetie Belle was "in town," it occured to me that Sweetie Belle goes to school in Ponyville, yet she lives with her parents from (I think) Canterlot. If this is true, then that would mean that there are probably no schools in Canterlot, and that also means that Twilight would have been to Ponyville before being sent there by Celestia.
Mind=Blown
3071360
Rainderp.
I've been calling it derpydash for years
It's an interesting story and premise, but the pacing feels rushed and breathless. It hits a variety of points and milestones, some of which might be fun to explore, but the story doesn't spend any time on any of them. It's the details that give life to a story: pleasantries exchanged, thoughts considered, uncertainty explored and reveled in, and touching moments given time to feel touching.
4144859 Thank you for your feedback. Derpy's Love Story is in a re-working progress. It will not be updated until all errors have been fixed. Not just little by little, if you know what I mean.