i'm confused does this mean theres going to be 2 sequels?

3143567 Eeyup.
Well in MY opinion, (everyone else has their own) this was a much better ending.

i'll admit, i like this ending better, it's a little more 'due justice' than 'sweet revenge'

besides, what's more fitting for the captain of the guard than to be locked up with those he put there? they'll take care of the beatings.

3143567which did you like better?

i like it it was realy good of your side to do one on wich he didn't kill them like they say it's poetich justice

this one wasn;t as freaky as the other ending, but still got the message across. I like

3155759 sorry to hear that

3208621. Never knew you and I just recently put this on this site. It's been on fanfiction for a few months now.

This story reminds me of The Count of Monte Cristo.

3210231 sequel?

WHAT !?! This story seriously needs a spellcheck. It hurts my head to read this. And right now it's taking all of my willpower NOT to correct every little mistake. But seriously dude ya need a spellcheck! Get a pre reader I'll be happy to help. E-mail me if you need someone to pre read for you.

3334423

I just started reading this and all i have to say is this:
Fantastic story...but i think you need to use commas more often and i had to try and imagine where they would go for the story to make sense.
Brilliant story though.
Liked, Favorited, and Followed.

3340644thanks I'm trying to do better with the commas

Is Dark Star's nickname of "LT "for Twilight short for something?

3674549 little twi

3674893
Thanks for clearing that up.

i could have swore there was a sequel to this. where did it go? i can't remember the name, so if anyone knows what i'm talking about, i'd appreciate some help.

3693609 it's on my fanfic account https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9246617/1/Family-of-Two around chap 11

3693796 ah, thank you!

3695328 no prob

BAHAHAHAHA
I love this story it like a twist on reality itself and what not.
You must make more of this.
IDEA: Shining Armor gets out of prison and goes insane.
IDEA: Celestia tries to see her daughter and they go through a custody battle.

OHHHH there are so many ideas to think of it almost dark..... no pun intended... bahahaha

4032166 I love that avatar but I actually have a sequel, two actually the last one is on here complete but I was never get motivated to finish the second one. But if you would like I can send you the second one.

4033495 Can you send it to me then I could work on it or give you some tips to bring your imagination back and finish it?

4034619 sure just pm me your email since it's in my google docs

4034634 No stalking me right?

4034654 uh no? It's just so I can share it with you and let you edit it if you want and I'll come by and see what you did and add or remove what I don't think fits in with Darkstar.

4034706 OK but I have rules for this...
1. I go to school and its test after test and its really just sucking up all my time to read or right so I would like it that i can come and go as i please on the story no time limitations.
2. I would like a summary of the story before I get it ( the start the middle and the ending you want.)
3. Muffins
4. I would like a short summary of the brain of the main characters and be know to any future character names or people you want in the story before I start righting( its alright if you think of something half way in, I will try to find anyway possible to get that character in there)
5. We talk only over Pm or email so not to give anyone Clues on whats happening in the story.
6. You can only mention my name as a helper or guide I want almost no credit in this story.... I am a bit shy when people praise me and I have writers block when lots of other people start giving me Awesome Ideas.
7. I will send you emails of the story anytime I can and will always give you the story before I put it up or you.
8.I expect criticism from you ( I work best when one and only one gives me Ideas for the story( makes it less complicated)).
Those are my rules.
Now tell me yours if you have any.

4103669 oh god that shits funny

4033495 could you send me a link to the second story? I really want to read it...

4108012 if I could get into my damn google drive I'd share it with you but if you want go to my account here and just click on the link for fanfiction. The second story starts at after chap 11 there

4108536 okay. Thanks. You did phenomenally on this story I must say... I loved it... so, SO much.

4108970 thanks

I...I couldnt stop reading...i tried. but i couldnt.

This was...........interesting, to say the least. Thank god I have a high tolerance for gore (sex not so much, but that's beside the point). I personally liked the ending b.

4526839 nothing's next cause this story is over

4567407 I kinda based her off dimmed star but as a Pegasus

4647306 couldn't figure out how to change some of the words around like that so I went with what I could spell

4724299 well for one it's my very first sorry I did on this site and I never really let my editors if I had any for this story do there job

Beside I don't really care if you don't like this story bub, it's old and been completed for a while.

If you're gonna judge a story of mine try a newer one

4778550 thanks

5017594 lol

5231780 No, what I meant was that the whole family just seems completely OOC and Shining Armor is an absolute and total DICK for no apparent reason.

5232623 I will admit: A number of these stories seem to portray Shining Armor as a completely irredeemable asshole

5527958 So, I'm an asshole and I deserve for somebody to be an asshole to me? Quite the hypocrite aren't you? You are a much worse ass than I, but that is beside the point. I had, in fact, left this story alone after leaving my post. Apparently that wasn't good enough for your vaunted, unspoken yet insinuated superior moral compass. You dredge up a comment that I left months ago, and you do so just to start up unnecessary conflict in order to boost your sense of self worth by criticizing me for my harsh judgement and you end up being even more harsh to me? Yes, hypocrisy is alive and well I see. Well buddy, you wanted to piss me off, congratulations you succeeded.

I left my comments to be blunt, but motivating. If you had bothered to read my comments, you would have seen that I DID in fact point out ways to improve on the author's writing style and did not merely complain about it. I will admit that I did complain, more than a bit, but there were constructive tidbits mixed in. Oh and where did I ever say Domestic Abuse? I said Domestic Violence. Whoop de mother-fucking do! You took what I said out of context just so you would have a weak excuse to be a prick. I was referring to what the other brother went through because of the rest of the family was being Domestically Violent and Abusive to him for no apparent reason. I never said that Dash or Lightning were in a Domestically Abusive situation. You want to attack me for something I left alone months ago? Jesus, get a fucking life and fix your own goddamn story, and don't think I didn't notice that all your comments have been liked. Wow, ego much? You like your own comments... that is sad. Even at my most egotistical, I don't do that.

Fuck off maggot dick
Truthseeker

To the author:
It has come to my attention that some view my previous comments as unnecessarily harsh and not particularly constructive. I am not too proud to admit that may be true, so the following is a rewritten, hopefully constructive critique to your work.

The basis of the story is fine, however I would recommend against using already established characters and changing them into sociopaths. I would like to encourage you to instead use O.C.s for those kinds of roles that will take a character that people may like and turning them into a hateful creature with little to no resemblance to the original. Use Original Characters such as 'The Foal Of The Forest' and 'What Changes May Come'. Those are excellent examples of how emotional turmoil and horrifying abuse can be rectified in a tale that looses none of its hard-hitting, visceral, or semi-realistic aspects. I am not saying that I hate your work, but the depiction of nearly every established character is so strikingly unusual that it detracts from the emotional turmoil you were attempting to achieve. I hope you take this to heart and find some sort of success in your endeavors.

Truthseeker

5526895

Although, it may come confusing in the first look, the nose is there and the teeth is herbivorous. If it was canine, it would have used claws and teeth instead of using a blade, yeah?

Well I'm not exactly going to look at the teeth to figure out the species, especially when looking at it it seems like a cat-like species no matter how long I look at it without anybody telling me other-wise. Even now it still looks more like a cat than a pony.
Just because it's canine/feline-esque creature doesn't mean it'd be using it's nature weapons all the time, after all the D-Dogs use armor and spears while in almost every fic that has fighting Griffin's use swords and other weapons. Then, if you look at the eyes, if you're used to any pony pics having the pony have big bug-eyes you can kinda understand why I'd think that it looks closer to a feline since it has predator-like eyes. (Though I still find it strange how ponies, a prey species even if they are sentient, have eyes facing the front instead of their sides.)
Well, we all have our own opinions on Spike and Twilight's relationship, though most of them are Brother/Sister or Like a Mother. I can't really see where the Master/Apprentice relationship would be since she isn't training him for anything. Spike is her assistant not apprentice.
3.bp.blogspot.com/-cyO6Wnxzk5A/Ud5vOlz5hsI/AAAAAAAAAMA/oeMeIZtgqZk/s1600/kkCas.png

5528539 Meh. Doesn't bother me. This story is done and between likes and dislikes, I'd say it's a successful story. Besides I'm barely on here anymore. Hell I haven't even read your comments. Lol. But thanks for the actual constructive critique instead of just bashing it because you didn't like it for this or that one reason.

Good job on the story, but I would cut back on using the word "as" so much it gets distracting.

I like ending b better and please tell me there’s a sequel in the making if not I have no problem with that.

I have a feeling that you just got bored of this story and just decided to just end it as quickly as you could,
I was hoping there would be more conflict with his estranged family.