The Nightmare in Ponyville

by FluttershyFan5

4- The End of Discord

Discord was running wildly around looking for a place to hide. First, he thought of hiding in a pile of hay, but that was too obvious. Then he looked at Applejack's Barn, "No that's not a good place either." he said grumbling. He turned around and saw a cottage, "Perfect." he said walking toward it.

"Twilight, would it be alright, if I go home?" Fluttershy asked.

"Sure, hey why don't we all come?" Fluttershy began to look at her friends nervously.

"Um, sure you can come." she said.

They began to trot towards Fluttershy's Cottage. Fluttershy walked to her door and knocked on it. Discord rose up from the couch, and began to panic. He hid behind the couch and waited. Fluttershy opened the door and started to freak out. "What's wrong Fluttershy?" Twilight said looking into her doorway. Fluttershy pointed at Discord. "Come on let's get him." Twilight spoke to her friends. "Wait, I don't want any trouble." Discord spoke rising from the couch.

"Why should we trust you?" Rainbow said questioning him. Discord began to think of something to say. "Well?" Rainbow was crossing her arms looking at him with glaring eyes.

"Okay, you got me." Discord was raising his arms up above his head. He walked over towards the ponies and sat on the ground outside. Twilight and her friends were looking down at him confused.

"Uh, okay Discord. You will be placed into stone again..." Twilight was using her horn to summon her teacher. Princess Celestia flew toward her subjects looking down at Discord. Discord looked shocked at the princess. He wanted to run, but he was rising from the ground, stuck in the princess's magical presence.

"Discord, it is time for you to be stuck into the sacred stone, again for the third time. But this time, it will be unbreakable to free from." the princess said beginning to turn him to stone.

"Now Celestia, do you really think I should be turned to stone? I mean come on I'm just going to find a way out of it again." Discord said trying to annoy the princess. The princess was getting angry and quickly turned Discord to stone in a instance.

She then placed the stoned Discord into a huge cage with metal bars and locked securely in place. The six ponies looked up at the princess and began to get a little scared. "Try to get out of that, you evil creature." Celestia said grimly. The princess spun around to face the ponies. "Thank you all my little ponies, you saved Ponyville of his evil ways."

Fluttershy ran into her home and checked everything to make sure Discord didn't take anything. Rarity bowed to the princess and threw a light pink scarf around her neck, she then trotted to her boutique. Rainbow waved to her friends and flew to her cloud home in Cloudsdale. Applejack went back to her farm, and Pinkie bounced off with her. Twilight looked back at the princess and bowed. The princess smiled and flew back to her castle, with Discord in her unbreakable cage. "I have to hurry back to Spike!" Twilight realized and ran off to her tree home.

Everypony gathered at the town hall again to hear about the news with Discord. The princess walked over to the podium and announced, "Hello everypony," she began. "I know you are all probably anxious to know what happened with Discord. Twilight, please tell them your story." The princess pointed her head toward her. Twilight was surprised and quickly came over to speak. Twilight was about to speak when Rainbow flew to the mic.

"First I was stuck in a huge black cloud, and Derpy had to save me." Rainbow said pointed towards Derpy. Derpy waved at everypony that looked at her.

"Thank you Rainbow, now for my part of the story. Everypony first as you know, we traveled from Ponyville to Canterlot. We meet some of them and gave them a word of permission from the princess. We were entering the castle. As we were standing in the doorway, we saw the princess oozing black smoke. We were all shocked and worried about the princess's new form." Twilight stopped for the princess to speak.

"Twilight is that what happened? I don't remember anything about oozing smoke." Twilight began speaking again.

"Well, Princess. Discord took over her body, but he soon escaped her body bringing back your own soul." Twilight looked up at the princess and waited for an answer. Celestia seemed to read her mind.

"Thank you Twilight, for your explanation for my, er Discord's actions." Celestia looked back at the audience of ponies. "Now everypony, I want all of you to treat these special ponies with respect; for they have saved Ponyville." Twilight and her friends began to blush and smile, embarrassed at the stares of ponies. The princess said her goodbyes to everypony and flew off in her carriage that were pulled by her guards.

Everything was back to normal. Twilight and Spike reading quietly in Twilight's home. Rainbow Dash doing her regular weather patrol duties. Fluttershy taking care of her animal friends. Applejack harvesting apples with her family. Rarity making beautiful designs for clothing. And last but not least, Pinkie Pie making and baking delicious sugar covered treats. Everypony bowed when the mane six walked by. They just bowed their heads and walked off doing what they were originally going to do. The mayor rewarded the six ponies with a massive pile of bits to split with each other. Eeyup, everything was just about normal in Ponyville, that is if you call Pinkie one of the normals. Discord was currently trapped in Celestia's prison, plotting revenge and thinking of a way to escape. Derpy was just doing what she enjoyed doing; mailing out letters, and most importantly, making and eating muffins.

"Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that when your friends come together, you can accomplish anything you wish to come true. I thank you for all you taught my friends and me. I just want to say thank you Princess, and for being there when I need you.

Your Student,

Twilight Sparkle

Comments

[Kaijutsu]

The most descriptive word I can think of for this fic: bland. The sentences are short and uninteresting, the dialog is stilted, and the whole thing feels rushed. The plot twists have no motivation behind them, the scene with Derpy just feels like a shoved in excuse to have her in the fic, and while Discord taking over Celestia's body is a cool concept, you didn't do anything with it. It would have been interesting and tense if maybe Discord had fooled all the ponies or was using Celestia's position of power to create chaos instead of just using his magic. And another thing! You appear to be able to turn off Discord's powers whenever the plot needs you to. Discord could have done a million things with his powers and gotten away with... whatever he was trying to do, but he doesn't.
Why not?
>a. No reason.
b. The plot demands it
c. The author was lazy
To be honest, this feels like it was written by the show's target audience.
That said, it was kind of entertaining. In a guilty pleasure sort of way.

[NaturalGlitch]

img.ponibooru.org/_images/8dfaea9417f1175601c8a102b6728ccb/153470%20-%20animated%20spike.gif

[gcwg57]

this is the lowest rated story on fimfiction at the moment

[SexyUnicornMan]

Your story gave me ammonia...

[Loganberry]

I really don't think this story is as bad as its +0/-16 score makes it look. It's not good, but I've read plenty worse. Shrederman98's comment pretty much covers its faults, but also points out the potentially interesting concept you came up with,