• Member Since 19th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 31st, 2012

Raff



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E

When the Elements of Harmony banished the Darkness from Nightmare Moon, they believed themselves to have garnered an absolute victory.
But as with all things in the universe, there must be balance. No Light with out Darkness, no Wrong without Right.
The Darkness has been biding its time in the one place in Equestria where magical Ley Lines converge, where all the residual magic and energy is coalesced in to a single point.
The Everfree Forest.
Now stronger than ever, the Darkness has found a new host, and seeks to exact its vengeance, and rain terror on all of Equestria.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 4 )

Wall 'o Text Ahoy! Blank lines between each and every paragraph, please. Basically, every time you hit enter, hit it again. Makes your story infinitely easier to read, I promise you. How about an example? This is some text from the first "block" of your story, put into the format it should be in for maximum ease of reading (anything bolded is a grammatical/syntax error I fixed in the example, with an explanation of each given at the bottom):

"Lift it up juuuust a little bit! Now a smidge to the right! Good! Now just the teeniest bit downwards, then a fraction to the left..."

Twilight Sparkle peered through a ruler at the banner. It was a great day for her, for it was to be Princess Luna's first official visit to Ponyville since Nightmare Night.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were helping to heft the sign in to place above Town Hall. However, Twilight's* emphasis on utter perfection was beginning to get on Rainbow Dash's nerves.(1)

"Is it..." She grunted loudly as her wings strained to correct her flight to Twilight's* specifications. "Ready yet?"

Twilight took one last look at her ruler, and then nodded happily. "Great job, girls!" Her horn sparkled with purple magic, plucking the banner out of the pegasi's(2) hooves and pinning(3) it to the wood.

Fluttershy's* jaw dropped slightly. "Umm... Twilight? Why didn't you just... I mean I don't want to be rude but... You could have used magic to get it up there, couldn't you? If... If that is if you weren't too tired or worried..."

* Original was missing the apostrophe needed to denote possession.
(1) There is no need for these two lines of descriptive text to be made into separate paragraphs.
(2) Pegasus is a singular-only term, meaning that adding an apostrophe makes it merely singular-possessive. Since the scene and line in question involves more than one Pegasus, the term used should be "pegasi's." Twilight is taking the banner from both of them, not just one or the other.
(3) Original had "panning" here in place of "pinning." Assumed this was a typo and altered it accordingly.

I'm not sure if this is bad or if people just didn't like the "wall'o'text" format.:unsuresweetie:
I'll give the benefit of the doubt and read it.

Not-really necromantic magics go!

I think that the dislikes are from the wall of text formatting. I thought the fic itself was decent. Have a like.

-Half a year later-

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