The Day My Life Began

by Authora97

Happy Fifth Birthday

I laughed, pulling myself out of the water. I jokingly glared at Luna. “You enjoyed that way too much.”

The Night Princess tilted her head. Her shoulders scrunched up in a fake shrug.

I chuckled, tempted to throw a stick at her. “Joke’s on you, Missy. We still have to train! You’re fake-tail stills needs some calibrating. It would be nice if I had some more tools from Pinkie Gobber’s shed, but I don’t think I would make it out with them. Killjoy Astrid might catch me, and that isn’t for a few more scenes.”

Hiccup Luna rolled her eyes.

“Hey! Don’t you dare mock my hard work!” I laughed. “You of all dragons should know how hard it is to create lucid dreams once a week! Plus, don’t tell me this isn’t any fun!”

Luna just kept on laughing.

“You’re a jerk.” I deadpanned, shaking off all the water. I trotted up to Luna’s dragon form, when I saw the confused look on her face. “Hiccup Luna, you know I only say hurtful things to things I like! Why do you think I call my twin sister a slut? Or a psycho...witch...whore....dumbass...airhead...many other things that you wouldn’t understand...I’m confusing like that.” I blinked. “Maybe that’s why I was declared insane in three countries, two planets, and one partridge in a pear tree?”

The dragon laughed again, smacking me with her tail.

I was tossed back into the water.

“BITCH WAKE UP!” A voice shouted.

---

The first thing I noticed when I woke up, was that the sun hadn’t risen. Usually, the sun shone right into my eyes.

“Guess what today is.” My sister said in an almost worried voice.

Groaning, I lifted myself up. Why am I up before the sun? “Kill Darcy Day?”

*gulp* “What is something every kid looks forward to all year long?” Darcy changed subjects.

My brain struggled to figure out this freakin’ puzzle my sister was giving me. It was too early for my brain to do any real work. Wait...wasn’t she on a camping trip with Lilac? “Aren’t you supposed to be camping?”

“Came back early. Just answer my question.” Darcy ordered, that nervousness still in her voice.

“Christmas.” I groaned, rubbing my eyes.

“Nope.” Darcy immediately said.

“Halloween?”

“Guess again.”

I groaned. This word puzzle was obviously centered around Lilac. “Valentine’s Day?”

“Too icky.”

“I freakin’ cave.” I said, collapsing back into my pillow. “Just tell me so I can sleep.”

Darcy gulped. I could hear her hoof steps as she backed towards the door. “Their birthday. More specifically, Birthday Number Five.”

My eyes snapped open. I practically jumped out of bed. “What.”

Darcy was backed up against the door. An almost fearful expression was in her face. “Lilac told me last night that her birthday was tomorrow. Her fifth. She was really excited about it.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fucky fuck fuck.

“You are shitting me.” I said, my heart racing.

“I would never kid to you about birthdays.” Darcy said firmly.

My mind raced. I jumped out of bed, trotting towards Darcy. “We have nothing planned, no cake, and no gifts.” I was starting to panic. “And I only can think of three people to invite! What kind of child has three people at her fifth birthday party?!”

A pause. “What kind of child doesn’t brag about their birthday until the actual day!”

*slap*

“Morgan Annie Spencer, straighten up.” My little sister ordered.

I took a calming breath.

She gave me a salute. “So, Captain, what do we do?”

“I have no plan.” I reminded her.

“But you’re Morgan Spencer. You’ve come up with the weirdest plans I have ever seen in two seconds.” Darcy encouraged, which is rare for her. “I bet you could figure out how to make this party good.”

“Why not great?” I pointed out.

“You got twelve hours. You’re a good planner, not a miracle worker”

I began to glare at my sister. “Challenge accepted.”

---

Once Killjoy had gone back to the campout to check on Lilac, I got to work.

I sat at my desk, feather pen in my amber magic. How was I going to do this? First, I’ll need to set a time. After school hours, of course. I’ll probably end up having the party here at the house. That meant I might have to do some spring cleaning.

Speaking of...what season was it? There was that weird shit with Fall and Winter coming weeks apart instead of months. It was November, according to the Calendar. Shouldn’t it be colder outside? Was it another weird effect of cartoons?

Fuck! Morgan focus! Get your messed up head in the game! We have to plan a party!

...

Did I just say we?

FOCUS!

“Okay.” I said, writing at the scroll in front of me. Scrolls are nice, paper is better. “We-I need supplies.” I wrote out what I knew I needed. “Purple balloons...blue streamers...plastic cups...plastic plates and other utensils...” I tapped the pen on my muzzle. “Hmm...some finger foods would be nice. Or are they hoof foods? Some fruit punch would be nice. Do they have soda? Should I get some soda? It won’t be much of a party without soda. Gifts! I need gifts!”

All of this was being added to the list.

“Crap. What kind of gift could I give to Lilac? I don’t know my kid enough to know what she wants! Fuck my life!” I groaned. “I could check her room. Any kid, no matter what universe, has a birthday wish list! If not, I can just profile Lilac and figure out what she would like! And if they don’t have it here, I can just get it at Home!”

Picking the pen and scroll, I trotted towards Lilac’s room.

The little dragon kept her room nice and clean. Her bed was made, but I could see the beginnings of the indent from where she slept in it. Looking around the walls, I saw a lot of the drawings she had made in Cheerilee’s class. Some looked pretty good considering a four-year-old made it. She has the potential to be a good artist with proper training.

Picking up her school bag, I rifled through it to see if she hid the List in here.

It was mostly just her math homework, all bunched together. Lilac had been having some problems, even though it’s kindergarten math. It’s mostly just counting! Reading I can understand, even that shit gave me problems, but math?

I shook my head. Today was not a day to lose my mind! Freak Out Day wasn’t for another few months.

Pulling out a few more sheets of paper, I realized that Lilac didn’t have it in her backpack. I searched the rest of her room, finding only a lot of drawings. They were some nice drawings...of Equestria, Celestia and Luna, Cheerilee and the other foals, the Crusader’s tree house. There was even a crayon drawing of Killjoy flying, and of me storytelling. It was impressive.

Still no list.

Looking over the room one last time, I made a decision.

“I need to go shopping.”

---

Ponyville has a really good party store.

Party Central was pretty big, maybe the size of Twilight’s library. Multiple walls covered with party supplies, of all styles and colors. It had wrappings for gifts: gift bags, tissue paper, comic book (some Power Rangers/Avengers rip-off called Power Ponies) themed bags, and ribbons.

So. Much. Party.

Lifting up a small basket with my magic, I trotted around the store. The purples decorations were easy enough to find. The blue ones were giving me trouble.

I'm also had to think about the invitations. Should I buy the white cards or the purple cards? Or maybe the red ones? Another issue is getting the invites out in time for the party, and making a cake. A good honest cake, since I doubt ponies have Betty Crocker.

How am I gonna get all this stuff before Lilac comes home?

“Hiya Raspberry!”

Story, that is too helpful.

“Hi Pinkie.” I said, turning to the party pony and giving her a smile. “Re-stocking?”

Pinkie grinned. “Yep! Gummy’s first birthday is in two weeks on a Monday, so I have to get all the stuff he likes!”

“Oh?” I asked, looking over the invitation cards. Now I had Pinkie’s birthday to think about. “What does he like?”

“All kinds of stuff!” Pinkie said. “He likes sarsaparilla, squeaky toys, parties, our special fruit punch, dance music, bobbing for apples, Pin-The-Tail-On-The-Pony, and taking bubble baths!”

I nodded. “That sounds good. Hey,” The white cards were picked up in my magic. “I’m having a birthday party for Lilac-”

“WHAT?!” Pinkie yelled, grabbing my shoulders in her hooves. She started to shake. “Why didn’t anypony tell me?! Do you need help throwing a party? Wait. You said you were throwing a party. When is the party? Is it today? Is that why you’re at the party store? Do you want me to help? Where is it gonna be? Is it in the park? Is it at Sugarcube Corner? Can it be at Sugarcube Corner? Which birthday is it for her? Does Lilac like really really big parties like Dashie or small parties like Fluttershy?”

Pinkie gasped for air.

“Pinkie.” I stopped her before she could go on. Her hooves were still on my shoulders. “Her fifth birthday party is around six pm tonight. She’s a little shy, so I don’t want a big party. It’ll be at my house. I am shopping for it, and I’m currently picking out invitation cards. I’m handing them out at the school later, since I’m working there today.” I said calmly. “Okay?”

Pinkie nodded. “Okie dokie!”

“Great.” I picked up the last thing on my list. Streamers. “Do you mind if I come to Sugarcube Corner? I kinda need to do one more thing before I get to work.”

“Anything for a friend!” Her hooves stretched from being on my shoulders to wrapping around my neck like a scarf.

Wow. This feels weird.

“Okay. That’s enough of the hugging.” I laughed nervously. “Seriously. The hug can stop.” She was still hugging me. “Pinkie. You can let go now.”

“Hehehe!” She giggled.

Pinkie let go of my neck, and I took a quick breath. “So...shall we get going? Once I pay for this, I mean.”

---

The bakery was a short walk. Maybe five minutes. Before I knew it, Pinkie and I were waiting around in the kitchen of the bakery.

“Okay so, you know how earlier I said I had one more thing to do?” I asked the pink earth pony.

“With what?” Pinkie smiled.

I took a deep breath. “I melted the ice of the polar caps, found the raiders of the lost ark, solved a case for the genius from Baker Street, helped to clean the Central Park. I created the plan for the Chinese wall, went to desert, made it rain, swam through a shark tank bloodily, found Atlantis, by the way... (but today).

“I’ve got a cake to bake – I’ve got no clue at all.”

Pinkie grinned a classic Pinkie Grin.

I kept on singing. “I’ve got a cake to bake – and haven’t done that before. Don’t be proud, mate please don’t bother. Go, come on and ask your mother how to bake, how to bake, bake that cake...”

Pinkie jumped excitedly on her hooves, grabbing one of mine. “Come on! Let’s get started!”

She brought me into the kitchen, and I watched as she brought out a bunch of cake pans. “What kind of cake are we making, Raspberry?”

Nervously, I brought out the recipe my mom had. “Wacky Cake.”

The pink earth pony read the recipe. “That is wacky!”

I nodded. “I talked to a unicorn the other night, took me up on a lonely star, did the moonwalk on the milky way, realised I’ve gone too far. So I questioned the law of gravity, put the apple back up to the apple tree, ej tu nost: I even learned Latvian, I know it’s so hard to believe... (and today)

“I’ve got a cake to bake – I’ve got no clue at all.”

The two of us began pulling out the ingredients needed for wacky cake. Thank the Story I asked Pinkie for help, I don’t have half of this stuff back at my house.

“I’ve got a cake to bake – and haven’t done that before. Don’t be proud, mate please don’t bother, go, come on and ask your mother, how to bake, how to bake, bake that cake (piece of cake).”

Pinkie began singing with me. “We’ve got a cake to bake – and got no clue at all! We’ve got a cake to bake – and haven’t done that before! Don’t be proud, mate please don’t bother, go, come on and ask your mother, how to bake, how to bake, bake that cake (piece of cake)!”

Pulling up the recipe, I gave it a quick look. “Mix some dough, add some love, let it bake, wait for it.”

Pinkie sang next. “Mix some dough, add some love, let it bake, wait for it.”

Before long, we were able to push the cake into the oven. “Mix some dough, add some love, let it bake, have some cake. Mix some dough, add some love, let it bake.

“We’ve got a cake to bake – and got no clue at all.

We’ve got a cake to bake – and haven’t done that before

Don’t be proud, mate please don’t bother,

Go, come on and ask your mother,

How to bake, how to bake, bake that cake!”

The two of us fell to the ground, waiting for the oven to finish baking the wacky cake.

“I still can’t believe you’re helping with this.” I sighed.

Pinkie suddenly came and took the bowl from me, pouring it’s contents into cake pans. The pastry chef put of baking gloves, while her tail opened the oven.

She grabbed the cake pans with her forehooves, carefully placing them in the oven.

“Anything for a friend~!” Pinkie Pie sang. “I’m gonna check out the cake!”

My horn glowed with my yellow magic, lifting my camera from....where did I put that thing?

I moved my head just slightly, trying to get into the shot.

*click*

*clang*

“What was that?!” Pinkie asked. The oven door slamming shut behind her.

“Nothing.” I lied, hiding the camera wherever it was before.

Another photo for the Album.

---

Gift shopping, my third favorite pastime.

Gift selection is a delicate process, you can’t just go about it willy nilly. It requires an intimate knowledge of the receiver, and knowledge of what they already have. You have to take into account the things the receiver has on-hand. Example: if you buy them paint, they have to have something to paint on. You can’t just get something generic, like a card, since they might already be expecting that. You especially can’t give them a card with no money in it, that’s just logic.

For five-year olds it’s easy: don’t get them anything they could accidentally swallow, don’t get them something really noisy, and get them something pretty.

So, that is why I was standing in front of this large shop.

A stallion came up to the double door, he grinned at me. His canvas white coat blended well with the walls, but he was easily spottable thanks to his dark blue mane and red hat. His aqua blue eyes were pretty noticeable too. He was wearing a light blue apron, with yellow paint splotches and an orange pocket up at the front.

“Hello!” He cheered, a heavy Prench accent. In his profession, why were they all Prench? “Vat can I get for you today?” He asked.

“Well...my daughter is a beginner, so...do you have anything for first timers?” I asked him.

The work stallion nodded. “But of course! I have many, many tools for ze first timers! Is there any type that she haz shown interest in?” Man, Prench people talk funny. It was hard not to smile at his pronunciations.

I nodded. “Yes. I can say that she does have a preference.”

---

Lilac’s present was wrapped, the house had all it needed to be decorated, Pinkie assured me that the cake would be done by the party, and now all that was left was to send out the invites. That, and get to work. I don’t have much of a lesson plan, but I was always the kind of person that preferred when the teacher had the huge TV set out.

All I really needed to do was pick out a movie, then add ponies. I hadn’t really done it since my first day on the job, since I really liked the word method. It’s the one that really drew them in. Today, I just couldn’t calm myself down enough to try. I would end up talking faster than any of the foals could handle.

I walked into the schoolroom, half-ready for the day.

“What’s up, kiddos?” I asked, going up to Cheerilee’s desk.

“What’s up, Miss Raspberry.” The class called back.

I took a small breath. “As you all know, Lilac is not here today due to her dietary dragon needs, so I will be passing these out myself.”

The invites came out from my saddlebags, and floated over to each foal in the class. Yes, even Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Rule of Children’s Parties: Everybody’s invited, whether you want them there or not.

“She’s awful excited about it.” I clapped my hooves on the desk. “Now, today’s st-”

“Is it true Lilac needs to eat meat?”

My lips tightened. “I sure hope nopony is speaking out of turn.” I said, looking at the pink earth pony without turning my head. “Because I know we discussed raising our hooves to speak.”

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes, lifting her hoof.

“Diamond Tiara!” I said, pointing right at the filly. “Speak now, or forever hold your peace.”

“Is it true that Lilac needs to eat meat?” She asked.

I nodded. “Lilac is a dragon. Although they can eat pony food, as well as gems, they need a good sense of iron, which comes from foods like meat, poultry, and fish.”

“Meat?” Diamond Tiara said, in her usual annoying way that I expected. “Like, from ponies?”

“No. Not like ‘from ponies’.” I explained. “Lilac doesn’t like eating meat, she prefers gems and fish.” I didn’t like where this was going. “Lilac doesn’t eat anything with fur.”

“Does she-”

“Anymore questions about Lilac’s diet will be ignored.” I said. “Now, as I was saying, today’s story-”

“Miss Raspberry?”

“Yes, Silver Spoon?” I said, sounding as nice as I could even though I was interrupted twice.

The silver filly rubbed her chin. “If Lilac eats that stuff, does that mean it will be at the party?”

“No. No fish, or other styles of meat, will be at the party.” I said. “Now, if the interruptions are done, I can begin. Is that alright?”

The foals, minus the bullies, nodded and gave affirmations.

“Perfect! Now...this story starts here...” I pulled up a projection of a tree with a wanted poster. “With the narration of Flynn Flyer.”

“This is the story of how I died...well, not really. I’m it’s not even really my story.”

A bad feeling was growing in the pit of my stomach.

---

Darcy/KIlljoy

The trip back was even longer the trip to the campsite. Maybe it was because Lilac and I were carrying all of this heavy shit back to the house? It was especially bad ebcause Lilac couldn’t carry that much stuff.

We got to the house at five thirty in the afternoon, the sky was orange.

I knocked on the front door, waiting for her to show.

Raspberry opened the door, a wide eyed look on her. I didn’t really feel bad leaving her behind to handle this, since I know she’s done the the same for me when I was growing up. Granted, she had more than twelve hours.

“Killjoy! Lilac! You’re back!” She cheered, sounding much cheerier than I expected. “Here, let me take the gear.”

Her horn glowed amber, taking the gear off my back. I collapsed onto the grass. Lilac giggled.

“Sweetie, head upstairs. You’re party starts in half-hour. I still have to set it up, and I want it to be amazing!”

“My party!” She gasped.

“What? Did you think I would forget your birthday?” Raspberry laughed nervously. “Cause I didn’t. Who would forget their child’s birthday?”

Lilac ran up the stairs. Raspberry followed, behind her. I followed her, because I was too bored to do anything else.

We arrived at her bedroom, and Raspberry pushed our gear under the bed. She turned to me and smiled. The door closed thanks to her magic.

“Darce...do you have any idea what I had do to today to get this party together?”

“Sell your soul to a devil?”

“I may as well have! I had Pinkie make a cake, had to buy party supplies, then I searched all over Ponyville for the right store so I could get her a gift, and then I had to make and hand out the invites at her school!”

I tilted my head. “That doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Those kids now think that Lilac eats meat! Nopony is here and the party starts soon! The cake isn’t here yet! My decorations still aren’t finished-”

“The gift?” I asked, praying to the Story that I hadn’t jinxed it.

Raspberry’s eyes shrunk. “Fok.” Raspberry dashed off towards the bed, looking underneath it. “Son of a biscuit eatin’ frog turd.”

“I know it’s bad when you talk like that.” I winced.

“KJ it’s falling apart!” Raspberry panicked.

“You’re just panicking.” I pointed out, boredly.

“Why shouldn’t I?!” She yelled, her eyes going wide. Cartoon worlds suck. “The cake isn’t here, the present is missing, and nopony is here!”

“Just because you like to be at a party twenty minutes early, doesn’t mean everybody does.” I said, rolling my purple eyes.

Raspberry scoffed. “Sure. Be that way. Lilac doesn’t know that nobody is downstairs. She thinks everypony came to her birthday party!”

“Maybe she’s like me and doesn’t want much people.” I suggested, trying half-heartedly to get my sister to calm down. “Or, maybe, ponies hit traffic because our house is on the edge of town.”

Raspberry just kept on panicking. I was almost about to blow. “Look, Morgue, breathe. I can practically see Sam bulging on your skull!”

My sister stopped her rapid breathing, turning to me with a confused look. “I thought his name was Thomas.”

“Her name is Sam, and she shows up when your Plan starts to fall apart.” I said, pointing at where Thomas was. “He’s down here, around your neck. Sam is up here, right where my scar is on me.” I pointed just below her hairline. “Sam is fun, Thomas is boring.”

Raspberry groaned, sounding tired. “I told you to stop naming my blood vessels.”

“No, you said to stop naming them after guys. I named it after a girl.” I said, patting her head. “So, I did nothing wrong.”

“I hate you.” My twin sister deadpanned.

“Yes. Please. Your hate gives me power.” I laughed.

Raspberry sighed. “How is me calming down gonna help find her present?”

I smirked. “Where did you put it?”

“Under my bed.” Great. She was getting better.

“Was it there?”

“No. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have this problem.”

“Did you move it maybe, so you could put away the camp gear?”

“I didn’t mov-” Raspberry stopped, realization in her amber eyes. “I moved it right before I started decorating. I didn’t want her to find it!” She turned to me and smiled. “I moved it to the dresser!”

Watching Razz run towards her dresser, she yanked a drawer open. Inside was a present wrapped in blue paper and a purple ribbon. I smirked.

“Ya see, when ya calm down you figure shit out.” I said.

*knock* *knock* *knock*

“And those are the guests, or Pinkie with the cake.” I said.

“Pinkie wouldn’t stop knocking.” Raspberry said, picking up the box in her amber magic.

*knock**knock**knock**knock**knock* *knock**knock**knock**knock**knock**knock**knock**knock**knock**knock*

“Found the cake.” I laughed. My hoof gripped Razz’s shoulder. “Now, let’s have this party. Then, maybe we can chill.”

“Actually...we need to go somewhere tonight. For the Plan.”

I groaned. “Where?”

“Ghastly Gorge.” Raspberry smiled, and we walked out of her room.

---

Morgan/Raspberry

The party was in full swing. Most of the foals from the school had come, bringing some of their parents. Little Dinky brought her mother, Derpy. Rumble brought his brother, Thunderlane who brought his girlfriend Flitter. Twist brought her mother, Roseluck. Sweetie Belle brought Rarity. Scootaloo brought her mother (I knew she had one), an earth pony mare named Melon Cream. Finally, there was Apple Bloom brought along Applejack, who was actually acting nice towards Killjoy. I guess AJ forgave KJ. I wasn’t really able to tell with the rest of them, who belonged to who.

Oh, and Pinkie was here. She brought the cake, all nice and pretty. It was iced with blue icing, with red little decorations made of icing along the sides. On the top, written in purple, was Happy 5th Birthday, Lilac!.

Yay!

“Present time!” I cheered loudly.

The kids all stopped where they were, running towards the living room where a pile of presents sat on a coffee table.

Lilac sat on the couch, watching the presents. For a small second, I was reminded of what happened on Spike’s birthday. Would the same thing happen with Lilac? No...she had been having multiple birthdays with this mare, so she had been getting the same (if not more) gifts each birthday.

I pulled out the present for her, lowering it in front of her. “This one is from me.” I said, watching with anticipation.

The dragon tore apart the wrapping, revealing a brown briefcase. She quickly opened it, her fingers coming in handy, and her jaw dropped.

“Is...Is this-”

“You’re really good, with this you can be great.” I said.

It was a painting kit. Multiple little tubes of paint, lots of brushes of various sizes, watercolors, pastels, finger paint, and two black pencils. I had talked with the store clerk for half an hour before we finally agreed that this was the gift for Lilac.

“You like?” I asked her.

Lilac turned to me, a large smile on her face. “I love it!” She leapt up, wrapping her claws around my neck. “Thank you Mommy!”

I let out a sigh of relief. It was so nice to know she liked the gift.

---

The two of us balanced ourselves out, panting. We had just barely missed being eaten alive by one of those quarry eels. That rockslide didn’t help, either.

“How much longer until we find whatever it is you dragged me here for?” Killjoy groaned.

“There wouldn’t be a problem, if you hadn’t flown into one of the quarry eel holes.” I growled, brushing some dust off.

My partner in crime scoffed. “Yeah, well maybe if you hadn’t forgotten that telling me not to do something only makes me want to do it more!”

I wanted to scream at her, but I knew it wouldn’t do any good. The rocks could slide again. I pulled out the note I had made from Sapphire Quarry’s journal. “It should be right around here. Rarity’s gem finder spell should help.”

The spell was easy to replicate. It’s a little side-skill I had; duplication. The saying monkey see, monkey do, was the best description. You did something, I could repeat it. The only real problem was that it took a few tries to get right the first time around.

My magic lit up the area around in a field of bright amber. Soon, little pockets of green and blue gems could be seen. I looked for the biggest pocket of green ones. I needed to get as many as I could so I could get the messages right.

“Here.” I said, marking a spot down with my magic. “We dig here.

My sister flew over to the spot, just a yard or three ahead of us. She began digging at it like a child digs at cake. I used my magic to gather the dirt and remove it.

“Jewels?” KIlljoy panted, brushing dirt off her hooves.. “We nearly got eaten alive for a bunch of jewels that we could just dig up over at that field?!”

“You wanna deal with those dogs again?” I asked. “Plus, these gems are different.”

Using my magic, I pulled one of them out. It came with a pop. “Remember when I made you watch the Star Wars movies?”

“I wanted to be on the Dark Side, but you already went there.” Killjoy pouted.

I nodded. “Remember when Princess Leia came Obi Wan from R2D2?”

“If I say yes can I go home?” Killjoy groaned.

I rolled my eyes. “These gems work like that.”

“So?”

“So...” I smiled at her. “They’ll be a way to be in two places at one.”

Author's Note:

Today is my aunt's birthday, she's in a tie for my favorite aunt. Happy Birthday Auntie!

Comments

[tsaukpaetra]

Ooh, The Plan!
..... What was the plan again?

Fun fun is fun.
Keep going! ;)