• Member Since 3rd Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Sep 29th, 2017

suijin


T
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The Equestrian ponies live in a state of fear, under the hooves of a pair of terrible tyrants.

Many wake every day, only to run for their lives, seeking some safe hiding place. And they are the lucky ones.

Others are slaves, forced to work, fight, and die, with no hope of freedom.

Some want to fight back, but none seem to be able to stand against their oppressors.

And still others seek refuge, going to the one being in Equestria that can help them. A Spirit of Chaos, named Discord.

Very alternate universe story, in which the characters' moralities are reversed.

Sequel: here

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 75 )

I like where the chapter ends, it is a good ending. Only this whole thing feels like it was rushing to get there. Slow your hooves the buck down. Stop and smell the roses. This isn't a motherbucking race, Dashie. It will go down better, much like cheese, if taken slow and savored for each morsel.
I'm still going to give a thumbs up for now. I love a good role reversal, if ya know what I mean.

I like it! Finally, a story in which Sombra's a good guy! Insta fave!

I've tried doing something vaguely similar, but probably won't go back to it any time soon. That being said, I AM curious on how Sombra will act, although I'm assuming he'll come across like Batman.

I will fav. this for later

2683146 I honestly can't think of a better parallel to compare him to

A king who can fighting off those who're a helluva lot tougher than him using fear?

Dude, that's got Batman written all over it:rainbowdetermined2:

This, sir, is promising. Very, VERY, promising. I am looking forward to this. :pinkiehappy:

I like it already! I hope the next chapter comes soon!

I am intrigued sir or madam. I would like to see where this goes. Long live the Chaos rebellion.

2682780
Starting stories is difficult, not gonna lie. Hopefully next chapter will have better pacing. I was worried that it was going to be too slow, honestly.

It hasn't even been 12 hours since I posted this! Why are you all here?

A very promising story indeed! That. and a wonderful AU set up, with my favorite villans at it's helm... This is going to be a wonderful story, I can feel it!:pinkiehappy:

I should probably mention that some characters will have big personality changes, again by necessesity. Should become more apparent next chapter.

So... what IS Sombra to the Crystal Ponies, anyway? Distant king? Merciless slave driver? Caring? You... don't really give much away about this world other than the fact that roles are reversed, but how much and with which characters? How are the citizens of Equestria faring? Cadence? Spike? Fluttershy? The CMC? Gilda?

MOAR:fluttershbad:

2687904
Well, this takes place 1000 years ago, so most of those characters haven't been born yet...

I will explain what is going on in the world more later. Sombra's role will hopefully be explained sometime in the next two chapters.

I have to say, the personality you gave Sombra is very believable. Seeing that he didn't have much of a personality in the show, it's interesting to see him with actual thoughts and desires other than his obsession with crystals. :pinkiesmile:

Also, I liked that part where the old Sombra got his inspiration for the stairs guarding the crystal heart. That was pretty good. :twilightsmile:

2691841
Sombra was my personal favorite villain because, while he most likely DID have goals and motivations, they were never revealed; he wasn't meant to be funny or likable, he was meant to be serious. And a serious, competent villain was something the show desperately needed.

Also, he did have a personality: cruel and hateful. Not exactly the most charming guy, but it did get reflected in this story, to some extent.

Spelling fail is fail. Fixed. I think...

2692894 Well, when you put it that way, I suppose you're right. And if I recall correctly, his return might have been forshadowed by his horn surviving. I (personally) don't think we've seen the last of him.

2698427
I would certainly hope not.

Duuuude...

Discord is PISSED...v:rainbowderp:

Keep on writing dude!

Might have found a good choice of cover art. Not exactly good Sombra, but it could pass.

Right Here

2701370
Eh, I can't really say that it works. He mostly just looks evil again, but less imposing.

Might consider it, though.

2699561
Aye, that he be.

And that, I will.

I am, thus far, enjoying your take on things. I had a similar idea, but no wherewithal to write it and look forward to yours.

Any bets that he's making the Crystal Heart? :heart::pinkiehappy:

2703642
My plans are even MORE cliched!
"That isn't something to be proud of."
Oh...

Although, in my head canon, the elements and the crystal heart are equal.

Not the crystal heart...

*thinks for a moment* :pinkiesmile:

Elements of Anarchy perhaps?

2703783
... now I want to do the crystal heart thing as an alternate ending. Anyone want to be a guest author?

Alternate ending in alternate universe... oh, lord, the Inception jokes...

2703801

So I nailed it? AWESOME!...

Sorry for spoiling it...:facehoof:

I just read the new chapter of The Irony of Applejck. And then I got really depressed. Both because of the ending, and because I suck at writing.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

Now this has piqued my interest. I really think that this has a lot of potential for simply the idea. It's an idea I haven't seen utilized before at least in FIM fiction. This was pretty good.

Oooh, I wonder, is he creating the Crystal Heart, or did he already steal that from Celestia and Luna? Anyway, I really am liking this so far, keep up the good work. This has a lot of potential.

I would have expected there to be heaps upon heaps of role-swaps on this site, especially ones making Celestia and Luna the tyrants and Discord and Sombra the good ones. But no, nobody wants to do that.
But you, you sir, have restored my faith in artistic vision (at least in this regard) and I mightily applaud you.:moustache::moustache::moustache:
I'll be watching!

The king has come indeed. I liked this, but Discord seems a bit under powered. Or rather, maybe because he's a good guy and is more of a jovial prankster in this universe he hasn't really had to fight seriously before. Where it the normal Discord I suspect that he would simply turn the entire enemy army into a big field of daffodils.
Seriously, I really like this and do appreciate the idea. I am really looking forward to seeing what Sombra brings into the game to hopefully turn the tide.
Good luck, and update soon please.
Thank you for writing this!

2722972
Discord mostly just isn't very violent. Even in the show, where he's a bad guy, he never actually tried to harm anyone. Now, he's more of a kind guardian, and wants to hurt others even less.

That, and he has no idea what he's doing.

2723005True enough. Eh, maybe I've just been reading too much of the Pony POV series where he kills people just for kicks.
"Than, and he has no idea what he's doing." okay, that made me lol. Because I guess it's so true.
Thanks for the response. :)

The king come down

2724482 what the hell is wrong with your face? :rainbowlaugh:

Also, yeah, now is the time we've all been waiting for!

2724573
It was hit by a door...

Can't wait to find out what badass thing Sombra has been working on.

...

Is it the Death Coaster from Army of Darkness?

2725760
No, but I get that joke.

Never seen a story like this one but I really like stories that take antagonists from the show and turn them into protagonists. I like the premise of the story but I am busy so I will defiantly read this later.:pinkiehappy:

Anyone else notice that the 4th chapter has more views than the 3rd?

Poor Luna. But alas, "I was just following her!" is never an excuse when you ought to know better.

Although it is my hope that the sisters will be given a second chance after getting just a glimpse of what lies in store for them. I'm sure Luna will do whatever it takes to not have to use the microwave until the end of time.

Wow...

That's actually kind of brutal what he's going to do with them...

They deserved it, sure, but it's just slightly off-putting for a good guy to do that to them...

Wow, and thus the war ends. It was kinda cool how you went with Elements of Progress instead of Elements of Disharmony, it's more original and even rather fitting.
Now I simply wonder if you're going to do and overview of an alternate version of Celestia and Luna breaking free just like Discord and Nightmare Moon in the original series. Maybe you shall use the plot from "Keep Calm and Flutter On" in the sense that the sisters can learn from their mistakes.
I really do hope that they are given a second chance, but it's your story and so I'll abide by what you write.
Thank you for writing this great fanfic. :)

2738662
Would now be a good time to mention that I plan a sequel?

Also, the Elements came about for two major reasons. First, Sombra's on the lawful side of the spectrum, so giving him something relating to just chaos would have been unfitting. Second, they're the good guys, so I wanted to get across that they were using the positive side of chaos, rather than just harmony's opposite. Plus "Discord" already means disharmony, so that's been covered.

2738629
Well, that's kind of what he's about. Discord represents freedom, but Sombra represents justice. So he's willing to dish it out, even if it's brutal.

He can show mercy, though. Just not to mass murdering/slave driving tyrants that tried to take over the world.

2738428
NOT THE MICROWAVE!!!

2740114 Oooh, now I'm all excited for the sequal. All I wonder now is what you're you're going to do for the last two chapters and for the sequal.
I wonder if the situation will pan out like this. Sombra will take over ruling Equestria, which will become annexed to the Crystal Empire, and either he is now immortal, or his successor's will rule in his stead. Discord will become sort of the wandering chaotic spirit of good. He will wander Equestria, spreading chaos and happiness among the people. But he and Sombra will remain allies and good friends (or a least acquaintances.)

2740380
Well, I'm not gonna spoil anything, but you got some of it right. Maybe.

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