After a magic accident, the Bearers of Harmony have been returned to a state in which they need somepony to look after them, Celestia assigns the job to an unorthodox, but loyal, guard.
Follow the daily life of Draft Scipt as he takes care of six little fillies.
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Ok this could be good. This could be very, very good. However, there are a good deal of things that need to be ironed out.
First, there's a great deal of spelling and grammar that needs to be worked on. Seriously, your story looks like it got mugged in an alley and they stole half of its letters and punctuation.
Second, there's a great deal of exposition, from what I've seen. Remember. Show, don't tell.
I feel there's a lot of potential in here.
I'd suggest that you submit it to W.R.I.T.E., we can help you out a good bit if you'd like.
Good luck!
Yeah this is a good idea but you do an editor. You could also stand to flesh this out a little, don't make it so dry.
Well hopefully you'll pick up an editor in time for the next chapter. Also you kind of came close to lavender unicorn syndrome.
2544997 i know i need an editor thats why i put the autor notes
thanks for comentig, reading and the vote of faith
lol
So I assume their at the age right after they earned their cutie marks right?
2573030 you are right
In all honesty don't delete anything just put at new chapter when your remake is out and mark this as complete afterwards. I mean all in all the existing chapters are too good to just delete.
3110772 you actually believe these are good?
thank you
3111189 They are amazing chapters just unpolished all you need at someone to bounce idea's off and a editor.
3111254 you up to it? i need some one to bug me whenever i start going lazy.
3111334 Not me I would procrastinate telling you to stop procrastinating
3110772 I agree with this guy. But are you going to delete then you should just delete the chapters, not the fic.
Love the story, if you need an editor I can help with that. If you want a quick and easy solution, try using spell check. It works really well! Like!
3117460 thanks i use the auto correct of fimfiction i suppouse its the same as word but i dont know i u want to be my editor just pm me and when i have something ready i tell u.
LOL
One easy suggestion look at your I if it's some thing like in look for periods if its I always capitalize.
Indeed you did. Murphy would like to have a little chat with you.
I really like this story hope to read more soon
He really didn’t want to be roped into this, did he? Lol.