THIS STORY IS INCOMPLETE!
All of my muscles ached.
I couldn't move my wings.
I was tired. I snuggled up into the blankets of my bed and tried to sleep.
There was somepony whispering beside my bed.
I opened my eyes to see a purple unicorn staring at me.
"Rainbowdash your awake!" she shrieked.
What? Rainbowdash? was she talking to me?
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Nope, it's Rainbow Dash.
Perhaps you've read it?
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/49829/what-is-a-name
Not a bad start, although I'm biased because I like amnesia stories, so I want to see where this goes. :) A couple of things:
- It's 'Rainbow Dash', not 'Rainbowdash'.
- the pacing is a little too fast, and there's not much detail. What moves was Rainbow Dash practising? Did she see what she flew into? Did she have time to worry about it? Did it hurt? All of those could be interesting details to a reader.
hmmm, interesting, I'll stick around to see where this is going
2530673 yeh, It is my first fimfic
I will add a bit more detail but just to tell you that she didn't see what she crashed into
thanks
2530261
I see wut u did thar
What a plot twist!!!!!