It's not about anything to important. It's just... Well it's night where I am and I happen to have a great view of the moon. However I have this irrational and overpowering fear of looking into a mirror and seeing myself either mutilated or as a something else looking back. And for windows it's just seeing some figure with murderous intent.
Ibn Al-Qayyim said, “The heart on its journey towards Allah the Exalted is like that of a bird. Love is its head, and fear and hope are its two wings. When the head is healthy, then the two wings will fly well. When the head is cut off, the bird will die. When either of two wings is damaged, the bird becomes vulnerable to every hunter and predator.”
It happened.
The test results have finally come back and my father indeed has a malignant tumor in his lung. It has been stated that he will have to go through surgery or chemo and radiation therapy, which he will be going through starting this week. Today he begins both with a vicious cycle to try and get rid of this. The upside? He doesn't seem to be as affected, or he just doesn't understand the severity of the situation. The downside? I am having a hard time breathing and not crying.
So apparently, a comment came up on his newest story Fear Princess that came from someone who spoke English as a second language. Moth said something that I felt was a little rude and insulting, which more and more I’ve come to discover is his MO these days and I promptly call him out on it and leave a dislike.
A short time later, my comment is deleted and I am blocked from his account.
The particular episodes that I remembered were participants drinking a shake consisting of crushed and blended bugs, sucking milk out of a goat's udder, eating cooked animal penises, and consuming a fully raw ostrich egg. What I didn't know is that there was an unaired episode in 2012 where participants drank glasses of donkey urine and semen, which I think is utterly repulsive and it went too far. 
I guess that was
(Spoiler alert!)If you watch the video about Top 10 MLP Alternate Version Characters, you can see that number 1 is Pinkamena, who usually appears in Cupcakes. The narrator says that Pinkamena is a feared character. What do you think? Do you fear Pinkamena?
You may think that I am reckless, but I am NOT AFRAID of Pinkamena! I am even working on my latest fanfic about Pinkamena. It is about Pinkamena being reformed!
Twilight: "Hello Shepherd! What's that smell?"
Shepherd: "Well, given you need more calories as an alicorn, I thought I'd whip you up some Earth foods packed with energy!"
Twilight: "Oh, that is so sweet-What did you make?"
Shepherd: "A full Mexican platter! Tamales, tacos, and-"
Twilight: "QUESADILLAS?!"
Rachel was my Luna... my love, my light, my everything... but now she's gonna die... or worse... already dead.
So... I've never done this before but I really need to talk to someone about this... even if no one responds it'll make me feel a little better to have said it somewhere... So a few hours earlier today I talked with my best friend... sorta... we just sat there in silence. I read a book and she was on her phone.. I tried to start conversations but they all faded out... I texted her (we have serious talks over texts) that I didn't like that we don't talk anymore. We would talk and have fun all
I recently (less than an hour ago) realized that not only is my motivator fear, but everything I do in life falls into two categories.
1. Things I am afraid not to do
2. Things I do to distract me from that fear
It makes me wonder how many people live life like this, and how to fix it.
Starlight Glimmer waited patiently to be judged for her actions. She had just put the entire world of Equestria at risk. What sort of punishment would befall her?
So, I was thinking, what triggers my horrible social and personal anxiety, and while I could be edgy and say "It's people that breath... man..." I feel like a lot of my social anxiety is caused by my innate fear of asking for help or confrontation... I will flat out refuse to talk to cashiers, help staff, or anyone who is there to help out of fear of being laughed at or that the confrontation would be weird. I straight out can't approach people that I have to approach, like the check-in ladies
Ok. Ok. Ok.
This blog summarizes the episode in a nutshell and there are spoilers ahead. You have been warned. IF you do not care, then, by all means, please continue.
SUMMARY
Well... Rachel wants to kill herself... Wolfy and I are trying our best to stop her. But it feels like we're trying in vain.
Congrats Donald Fear!
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