Pinkie Pie has an existential crisis while painting her room. This self-parody is dedicated to Professor Piggy, who once told me that I could write a story about Pinkie watching paint dry and weave it into an incredible psychological journey. Let's see if he was right.

Featured on Equestria Daily.

Dramatic reading by MicTheMicrophoneZero.

Cover art by chaosdrop.

Kids. Kids. Who are you gonna believe, some old book, or your Uncle Bad Horse?

So, anyway. Like I was saying. Once upon a time...

(One of those damn kids had a wire on him, and put recordings on that tubey thing, one, two, three. And made a video. And wrote it all down, in Russian.)

The business of government never stops, and paperwork never rests, even on Hearthwarming. But this particular Hearthwarming, Cabinet Secretary and tea enthusiast Dotted Line plans to do his level best to see it, at least, take a break. His ponies need to go home to their families, and he, well, he has plans this Hearthwarming.

Shining Armor learns the most important tactical lesson of his life.

Audio version! https://youtu.be/YgDr0Xc6rN8

Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

To Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia, it is a simple surprise visit to Canterlot. To the ponies of the Equestrian Civil Service, it is twenty-four hours of chaos, politics, weaponized dessert, politics, underhooved manipulation of media, politics, and things batrachian and tentacular. Who said bureaucracy isn't exciting?

Early one morning, Twilight Sparkle gets up to make some tea.

Sometimes, a cup of tea is just a cup of tea. This is not one of those times.

Twilight asks Big MacIntosh to read to the Cutie Mark Crusaders while she runs an errand. He's not much of a reader, but he just can't say nope to Twilight.

UPDATE: 8,000 unique views! Wow! I'm incredibly flattered!

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Plowpony's Day- a day of peaceful rest and relaxation. Or it was, until Twilight Sparkle badly mangled a teleportation spell. It has left her with a bad case of Horn Rot, a disease that if untreated could prove fatal. What's more, the malady is advancing faster than the slow-brewing potion that cures it!

There is one swifter cure: the Beneviolet, a star-shaped flower that grows in the distant Archback Mountains, far beyond the western borders of Equestria. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity choose to undertake the long journey for the sake of their friend. Their path will wind through floes of ice, across gold-tinted plains, into distant forests glimmering with magic. They will learn much about the world beyond their homeland- and much about themselves, as well.

Yes, it's "Dangerous Business," here on FIMFiction. A huge debt is owed to all those who have supported me over the years. I've edited the story some to remove extraneous bolding and italics, but other than that, it remains unchanged. I hope new readers enjoy it as much as old ones did.

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To Holmes, she is always the mare. In his eyes she eclipses the whole of her sex, and fills him with admiration and loathing. Whether she in fact stole the Starry Night was ultimately beside the point. What mattered to Holmes was that he had been matched at his own game, by a mare; that it had not been altogether unpleasant; and that she had caused him, however briefly, to turn his keen and unflinching gaze upon himself.

On EQD July 31, 2012.

Rarity doesn't like dirt, she doesn't like dust. Grime and filth are a big no-no. And when it comes to mud, Rarity is usually seen moving at a full gallop in the opposite direction. So just how did she get herself into that muddy pit during the Sisterhooves Social?

Prereading credits go to GhostOfHeraclitus, Bradel, Toafan, and "Nettle".