• Member Since 27th Feb, 2014

thescentedllamaofdoom


A llama free of the distressing pungency so common among its fellows.

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Found 29 stories in 39ms

Total Words: 1,305,680
Estimated Reading: 3 days

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Princess Celestia has inspired many writers, artists and poets over her centuries as both ruler and Princess of the Sun. Now she invites one pony to do a special task for her.

A tale of poetry, pornography, puns, printing presses and pretty pony princesses.


Audiobook by Illya Leonov, ft Luna Farrowe and Shadow of Cygnus

Cover image by Linnpuzzle
Edited by Solstice Shimmer and BaeroRemedy.
Special thanks to Dr Bethan Tovey for help with the Old English.

“How is it that gems like these are always hidden so deep? I love your poetry, can't get enough of it.”

“This is just really stellar, I hope everyone checks it out.”

“A concept which in the hands of just about anyone would have become empty prurience is instead warm and brilliant and funny and just lovely.”

Chapters (1)
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This story is a sequel to Appledashery


After Rainbow Dash's many heroics, she reaches the lowest of lows. But then there's a glimmer of light. Freckled light.

This is the continually evolving story of two mares who--by fate or by felicity--are both inevitably drawn to one another. As a pair, they'll experience the highs and lows of life: the likes of which only they can share together.

Cover Art by DarkFlame75

Chapters (202)
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Rainbow Dash can’t wait for her first date with Applejack; they always have an awesome time hanging out, and a relationship just means there are even more physical activities they can try together. So when the dumb zap apple harvest postpones their date, she decides it’s the zap apples that are going to have to change their plans. Equestria should know by now that wild, ancient magic is no match for Rainbow Dash, especially when she might get laid.

Everything is going according to plan, until she crashes. Or, rather, until she wakes up after crashing and fifteen years have gone by. Fifteen years during which she seems to have been a very busy pony.

Now Rainbow Dash has to adjust to a life she never thought she wanted, and figure out if she’ll ever get to live the life that brought her here.

Update: Proofreading and formatting by RBDash47

Written for the AppleDash Group Contest prompts "Family" and "An Important or Memorable Date."
Cover art by SketchyJackie

Chapters (11)
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My roommate's name is Octavia, or "Tavi" for short. She likes vintage red wine, soft pillows, and long walks on the beach. But, more than anything, she loves music. She loves it with a passion that radiates with every burning color of the spectrum.

Each day I spend with her... or without her, I learn a little bit more about life, about the sick beat to which we all dance, whether we know it or not. I hope you don't mind if I say a few things about her. Just a few things. One can learn a lot from Tavi.

After all, she saved my life.


Cover Art by Eztp

Playlist - Because Even Original Things Aren't Original

Chapters (200)
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Applejack realizes one morning that Rainbow Dash has apparently moved in with her. This discovery surprises Dash more than a little, too, and sets off a chain of events neither could have imagined.

The original minific version of this story came in fifth in the Dec. 2015 Writeoff Association contest, "Things Left Unsaid." And the full, three-chapter-and-an-epilogue version won 3rd place in The Fourth AppleDash Contest: A Little Twist of Lemon using the categories "A Life-Changing Event" and "An Important or Memorable Date."

Chapters (4)
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"My name is Lyra Heartstrings, and you will not remember me. You won't even remember this conversation. Just like with everypony else I've ever met, everything I do or say will be forgotten. Every letter I've written will appear blank; every piece of evidence I've left behind will end up missing. I'm stuck here in Ponyville because of the same curse that has made me so forgettable. Still, that doesn't stop me from doing the one thing that I love: making music. If my melodies find their way into your heart, then there is still hope for me. If I can't prove that I exist, I can at least prove that my love for each and every one of you exists. Please, listen to my story, my symphony, for it is me."

Cover pic by Spotlight: askspotlight.tumblr.com

Chapters (20)
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... and learns important life lessons, somewhere in between everything going wrong.

* * *

"The first thing I thought upon reading Hitchhikers was that the gods of ponyfiction … had smiled upon me." – Ezn
"Congratulations, you have written the first 'Proper Noun Verbs A Noun' story that does not actively disgust me." - Prereader Benman

Chapters (5)
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Applejack and Rarity's relationship was never easy, even at the best of times. But their love for one another was constant, an irresistible force, up until one day when it was no longer enough.

Years have passed since then, and on one quiet night, their paths cross once again.

Cover image by White Diamonds via rarijack-daily
Edited by Exuno

Chapters (1)
E
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NEW PRINCESS ATTACKS GRIFFONSTAN IMPORTS

The Equestria Daily can exclusively report that newly crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle became embroiled in an argument with the Griffonstani trade minister about the inferior quality of griffon quills, alleging that "they just don't hold ink as well as pegasus quills". Import markets tumbled overnight, threatening the solvency of numerous Equestrian quill merchants. Princess Sparkle could not be reached for comment.

(When you're done, bookplayer has a fun "Let's Read" commentary version!)
(Also, GhostOfHeraclitus wrote a prequel from the perspective of Dr. Spinning Top!)
(Also also, now available in Spanish thanks to Spaniard-Kiwi!)

Chapters (3)
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Apple Bloom is left alone and bored while Scootaloo is learning to fly and Sweetie Belle is learning magic. Applejack sees that her sister feels less special because she's an earth pony, and decides to get Pinkie Pie's help in teaching the filly about why earth ponies are so important.

Chapters (1)