Present Perfect vs. Through the Well of Pirene · 10:55pm Feb 6th, 2017
Back when I reviewed Hoopy McGee's Project Sunflower, I name-dropped Through the Well of Pirene by Ether Echoes as another well-known, highly regarded HiE. Today, after a solid year of reading a not-audio book, I bring you my 100th review of the year, and 4000th review of ever, in which we will explore that very question: Is Well of Pirene as good as everyone says it is?
Buckle up, 'cuz I've got 15 pages of notes to go through, here. <.< We'll do this in steps. (You can check out the audiobook here or here or on Bandcamp.)
Full Disclosure and Preface
Ether Echoes contacted me via PM in January of 2015 to say that her epic story, Through the Well of Pirene was going to have a print run, and would I like a copy so that I could review it? I said sure, why the heck not? Pirene was on my RIL, the recent review of Project Sunflower had gotten me wanting to read it, and who doesn't like having hard-bound copies of fanfiction?
So while this is essentially a paid review, I made no guarantees about things like rating. And I sure as hell made no guarantees about timeliness, for which I am regretful. c.c But the both of us learned that if you want to send me a free copy of your book, I will definitely read it… someday. (I want to say I got the book that March, and finished it on Saturday, so it took me a little under a year.) If you want me to read your story in a significantly more reasonable timeframe, go commission a fic reader, I keep a list over here.
Anyway, I want to follow that up by saying that my lax reading schedule should in no way be taken as a condemnation of this story. Yes, it is long, but if I had kept to a reading schedule like I did for the past week, or even something more reasonable like a chapter a day, I'd have finished it in a month. What I'm trying to say is, it's not the book, it's me. :B
And I tell you what, if anything should be taken in the story's defense, it's that I was able to keep up that slow reading pace. I'd read a chapter a month sometimes, and never did I feel like I'd missed anything. Pirene is eminently memorable, and I was generally able to recall all that had happened in the previous chapter even after a lengthy hiatus. That, if nothing else, should be taken as an indicator that this is a good work.
And now that I've begun praising it, let's get into the actual review!
Writing
The very third note I left for myself — after lamenting it was over half a Fallout: Equestria long and noting the Bible quote heading the first chapter — is:
writing's excellent from the get-go
It really is. Long though this book may be, it takes time more than drags things out, using its voluminous length to set scenery, world-build and let the characters breathe. The imagery, especially in the first few chapters, taking place on Earth, is lush and vibrant. Turns of phrase always work for the narration. Action scenes are gripping, revelations are always fascinating, and even if nothing's really happening in a given scene, what's going on is always interesting.
That said, if there's anywhere to criticize this story, it's the writing. There are a lot of close repetitions, and rather a few less commas than I would have used. I found maybe a page's worth of typos, which will be corrected in future editions, should there be any. I even made this note to myself:
Wisteria Unicorn Syndrome: when lavender is too pedestrian!
LUS was not really a problem, though. There are a couple songs, and I noted the first one was really bad, though on balance, this passes the Zecora Test without even featuring her in the cast. And honestly, none of these problems are the sort that will likely mar a lengthy read, simply because there's so much here that's done right. It's like peeing in a lake: sure, there's a spot everyone can tell is no good, but the damn thing's a mile across, it won't affect the taste on the other side that is the worst metaphor I have ever
Of course, I can never forgive that single instance of the word 'thestral'. One time in 369k words is ONE TIME TOO MANY.
I could also say something about the layout of the story. Each chapter (which, I should mention, average around 15k words apiece, sometimes upwards of 20k) begins with a quote. Often, they are literary, though many are religious, pulling from the Bible and the Quran in equal measure. (Though chapter 20 has the best one.) Scenes can be told from one of three perspectives: our two human protagonists, and eventually, a pony as well. Each of these transitions is marked with a header including the character's name and an emblem, a cutie mark in the pony case. (I didn't realize the significance of Amelia's emblem until well into the story.) These transitions come frequently in the first two or three chapters, but once the sisters are separated, it goes chapter-by-chapter. I did find myself sometimes wishing that chapters went back and forth between the characters with a little more regularity, but the reader is never left out of the loop for long before being caught up with things again.
Plot
I believe I've touched on this a little already, but here's a summary:
A teenage girl gets lost in the woods with her kid sister, with whom she does not have the greatest relationship. Goblins from the Everfree Forest come and kidnap said sister, turning both of them into ponies along the way. Older sister seeks help from human friends, then plunges into an Equestria she had long thought buried in her past because, surprise! She used to be friends with an Equestrian filly, going went through years of hellish therapy meant to disavow her of the idea that it was anything but a fantasy. Throughout the course of the story, they both make friends, adapt to their new forms and the new world, and grow in unexpected ways as they seek out their destinies, written in prophecy over two thousand years ago.
Looking at that paragraph, it is woefully inadequate to capture everything that goes on in this story.
The plot is, overall, a strong point in Well of Pirene. (I would abbreviate the title, but it comes out as "TtWoP" and I just don't think "Titty wop" is something I want to be saying again and again.) Convoluted as it may seem, and with as many characters and prophecies as it involves, it was never hard to follow. Occasionally, I would find myself lost about what was going on right now, but usually a quick read up the page would solve that, and I think there's only one spot where it didn't. There is a lot going on in this story, and there are myriad twists and turns, but, buoyed by the strong characters, solid world-building, and well-crafted narrative, the plot remains enjoyable, gripping and generally memorable.
The breaking point comes at around the two-thirds mark, when we suddenly get large quotients of necessary answers and the stakes and danger ramp up exponentially with each chapter. The younger sister does something that the author has told me divides readers; I found her fall supported overall by her character arc, but the actual things she does — and I should note here that if you haven't read this story, you should, and without spoiling yourself on this review; you should be getting the hint by now that the answer to the question "Is Pirene that good an HiE?" is "Yes" — are outright monstrous, and might be hard to believe if you've somehow made it to that point without losing your cynicism.
Because, let's face it, this story uses a lot of tropes. It uses them well, but they're there. Our human OC gets turned into a pony, goes to Ponyville, and makes friends with the mane six one at a time. Well, with one exception. And there's a good reason for her to do so. Point being, that's a good example of something you've seen and likely rolled your eyes at in other stories actually working well in this one. It would be easy to "of course" many of the things that happen in this story, but it refuses to let itself be counted out or taken for granted. It wants you to confront these tropes head on, understand why they exist, and then get the fuck over them so you can read about more cool stuff happening. So when she eventually kind of becomes an alicorn, it's okay, it's been built up through the story, and it's no less outrageous than anything else that's been going on at the same time.
Setting and World-Building
This is not the first story I've read (or conceived of) that's tried to do "mythological extension around Equestria" setting. Given how much mythology is already in MLP:FiM, it's only natural for a writer to want to bring in as much as they can get their hands on. In general, it works, and it fits the show, though this definitely sits in the "more realistic version of the show" category in terms of tone. But Ponyville and Equestria, after a false start, are what we've come to know and love from watching the show. Even when the action was galloping up the trunk of Yggdrasil, I never felt like I was wholly removed from what might be possible in the larger world of Equestria, and that went a long way toward my enjoyment of the story.
Because yes, Through the Well of Pirene is absolutely drenched in mythology, and not just one type. It blew my mind when, better than halfway through the book, I thought to look up the name "Pirene", finding out that not only is that the name of a water nymph from Greek myth, but the fountain of Pirene is a real pace, in Corinth, with mythological links to the original Pegasus. The way the myths are used don't always line up with their origins — Celestia and Luna's parents, for instance, are named for Greek Titans, but those particular Titans were never a pair — but I take this as a good thing, injecting more creativity into the piece. Reading this story with Wikipedia open, while not necessary, was highly rewarding.
But alongside the Greek myths, which if anything are the driving force behind the plot, you can find a hearty serving of Norse mythology guiding the societal systems in the setting, and references to far more than I could actually identify (I looked up one word only to find it was related to Buddhism, for example, and this is when they get to Niflheim, so...) The goblins are obviously derived from numerous Old World faerie myths, given how they deal with each other, and the danger of turning into one should you remain in their presence for too long.
And of course, there's plenty of self-mythologizing and world-building to be had as well. Foremost is the goblin society, split into four Courts named, in a turn that surprised and pleased me, for the suits of the tarot Minor Arcana. (And points: I'd never heard of 'rings' before, always coins or pentacles.) There's relevance to the four classical elements, probably the four humours if I'd given it any thought, and the struggles between the four Courts make for a really strong setting while everyone's in goblin-world.
The world-building isn't all relegated to layering myths onto Equestria, either. One of my favorite parts of the story is the various foals' exercises Daphne goes through trying to learn magic. I mean, a magical exercise called "The Clockwork Tower" brings all kinds of things to mind, doesn't it? :D Another called "Stars and Comets" reminds me of something we see Starlight Glimmer doing in S6, and was yet another of this story's oddly prescient moments. :V
Lastly, I'll mention tone. Like I said earlier, this is an attempt at a slightly more realistic Equestria: people bleed, though they can survive big hits; there's an eye toward more realistic biology, when it fits, and the ponies are depicted more like actual ponies; and the mood is generally serious, though not always. In fact, the humor, while infrequent, was always welcome, and usually pretty darn funny. There's a good bit of snarking to be had, but mostly that's relegated to the main human characters, and those from the show for whom such things are expected. It's not exactly a light-hearted story, dealing as it does with the potential destruction of the universe and enslavement of an entire species, but neither is it frequently dour, and that is always something I appreciate.
Characters
This is likely going to comprise the bulk of the review, which is why I saved it for last. As I mentioned earlier, the characters grow and change throughout the course of the story, and almost the entire plot is guided by their choices. Sometimes, it's not obvious — in the early going, almost everything is due to the machinations of the shadow Goblin King, whom we don't meet until well past the halfway point, and so it can seem like the characters are being tossed about in a storm — but no matter who's guiding things, there's always a hand there. So, let's take them one by one, starting with our "main" character.
Daphne: Daphne is our first human protagonist, the elder of the Ocean sisters (boy, that last name is really on the nose), and boy is she a little shit when we first meet her. She's kind of your average disaffected teenager, albeit one with a photographic memory, and the way she treats her sister, whoof. (I did draw some early parallels to S1 Rarity and Sweetie Belle, at least.) But, she's stuck-up, self-centered, and kind of a dick to her friends, to say nothing of her sister. Getting used to her was a bit of a chore, but things surrounding her pick up quickly as her past with Equestria is revealed.
By the end of the story, she's become something more like a grown woman, not exactly comfortable in her new role as soothsayer, but mature and able to take responsibility for the things she does. Of all the characters, I would say she grows the most, except actually they all grow and change about the same, which is to say a lot.
I think Daphne would have worked less well as a protagonist if we weren't in her head so often. In the early going, we get to see the lies she tells herself, the pain she's been subjected to, which make her more sympathetic. Later, we get a heaping helping of self-doubt before she's thrust into the battle and has to deal with the destiny she's been denied. (The depiction of how traumatic psychotherapy can be to a child no one believes is telling the truth was particularly gripping.) Being the central figure of the prophecy means that she's more or less the default main character, but her companions and friends are not less important.
Amelia: The younger Ocean sister. When we begin the story, she's eight years old; when we end it, quite a few characters describe her as being thousands of years old. She has the most shocking, surprising, and as I suggested before, divisive arc of any of the main characters. Again, being in her head helps a lot, as we go from her being the more inherently sympathetic of the pair to becoming more or less the main villain of the piece. (If there's one Big Bad Guy, but she's a close second.) Are you wishing now that you hadn't spoiled yourself on the review? Suck it up. :V
Amelia's big thing is that she's extremely precocious for a child her age. I knew this feeling: unable to connect with the 'lesser' minds of children her age, unwanted by the adults she more closely resembles. This is ultimately what gets her into trouble: she's quite nearly sociopathic in how willing she is to manipulate people, turning them against each other or their feelings against themselves, and I found myself frequently horrified with the things she was capable of. And then I'd have to sit back and remind myself that she's eight and ponder just how fucked up her childhood must have been for her to turn out the way she does.
I said in the Writing section that the writing is about the only thing I could criticize in Pirene, but I left out one important aspect: voice. I don't think I really grasped just how precocious Amelia is in the early going, and her chapters tended to leave me feeling slightly off-kilter because they don't sound like an eight year old girl. But more to the point, her voice isn't very different from Daphne's, at least not until Daphne finally chills the fuck out near the end of the book. This is an error that I can't say has any purpose in the story, and I never quite figured out where the author had gone wrong. I'm disinclined to think it was my own perception, however, because our third POV character does have a very different voice from either of the other two.
Leit Motif: Daphne's childhood pony playmate is a fantastic character. Her early appearance in the story can be summed up as "Moondancer from Amending Fences", but I don't swing that axe as a condemnation. The event that kept her and Daphne apart, leading to Daphne's years of painful therapy, also deeply hurt Leit, and when we first meet her, she's living a hoarding lifestyle in Ponyville, working an unfulfilling accounting job and generally bitter about the direction life took her. She's so full of pain, she can't halfway bring herself to accept Daphne back into her life. Their reunion is heart-felt, tear-filled and absolutely a joy to behold, an act one climax built up beautifully by what comes before it. (Also helped by what I was listening to at the time. ;_;)
And then, over the course of the book, Leit slowly begins to open up and frankly blossoms. By the end, she's not some badass wizard or anything (though she does know some cool spells!); her triumphs are almost entirely personal. Watching her grow is just marvelous, and I never got tired of seeing what she would do next, even if it was moping around because she was feeling useless. Because if nothing else, she managed to surround herself with great friends, and you knew they'd always be there for her when she needed them.
Naomi: Oh my god do I love Naomi.
Naomi is Daphne's best friend. Her family owns a horse farm. She loves horses. You can maybe see where this is going. If Daphne is the brains of their little extradimensional excursion, Naomi is the heart, and she is a hoot. When pony Daphne comes to her for help, her immediate reaction is squeals of delight and mane-braiding threats. The trip to Equestria leads to nonstop exclamations of excitement from her. She has the absolute best scene in the entire novel, telling a gaggle of adorable foals the legend of Luke Skywalker. (I'm serious, it's the best scene ever.) By the end of the story, she's sobered up a bit, but she finds a place in all the chaos and sticks to her friends like glue.
It took me a while to really figure her out, I'll be honest, but when I did, I realized that she was a much better person than I ever gave her credit for. At first, I got the feeling that she was a far better friend than Daphne deserved. Once Daphne had cooled off and stopped acting like such a self-centered little shit… I had the same feeling, because Naomi is too good for anyone. But neither is she innocent, holy shit, going native at the first chance she can and all but literally getting accused of being a furry at one point. You can see where this is going. :V
Naomi is the best, is what I'm saying.
Marcus: Of all the really major characters, Daphne's ex-boyfriend is the one who probably took me the longest to figure out. His main roles are gunhaver and thorn in Daphne's side, though I will say that I thought having her bring along her ex was a good idea. As the book progresses, he takes up a further role as Amelia's defender, and I found his relationship to her and unbridled optimism about her character refreshing. He has delusions of being an action hero and is probably the most self-aware of all the characters (well, those in whose heads we don't get to travel), but for all that he trends toward the "snarky asshole" archetype, he's got a lot of heart, and his snark is often actually funny.
One minor note about him: I found myself really wondering what race he is. c.c He's described as Asian at one point, as having dark skin at another. His last name sounds Hispanic. So I have to assume he's Filippino, which was pleasing. Just, confusing, because no finger is ever put on the fact.
Lyra: Oh my god, this story has the best Lyra ever. I say this as an avowed Lyra fanatic, and in light of the fact that there is no LyraBon (they're just roommates). Helping greatly was the shying away from "Lyra loves humans"; in fact, she falls for Naomi's horse, leading to no end of hilarious scenes of her pining for the "quiet and noble displaced Saddle Arabian prince". God, just typing it out, I'm laughing.
Lyra is two things in this story: comic relief, and unbelievable badass. The latter I batted more than one eye at, but at the end of the day? I don't care. She does some fucking awesome shit, and regardless of whether it was believable, it was cool. She gets to make a noble sacrifice, which is no less awesome than her not putting up with Leit's shit and helping her leave her shell. But whenever she opened her mouth, chances were it was for some quip or bizarre observation, and many laughs were had. ("Valiant messes" sums her up perfectly.)
The Show Characters: I can lump them all together and say "they were written well". Heck, here's one of my notes:
hi, Pinkie :D oh dear, she's written quite well, poor Daphne
The mane six, Twilight especially, feature heavily in the story, and I had zero problems with their portrayals. Many of them even get some fantastic scenes (I'm thinking of a certain Princess of Friendship getting ready to face a storm demon head-on), and they never feel superfluous, even when they don't all necessarily have something to do.
As for the other Princesses, Celestia was written as I prefer her. Luna was lacking, but only in how long it takes her to show up in the story; I was kind of surprised it wasn't sooner, but that may have just been a function of the scope and setting more than anything else. A note on Celestia: near the end of the book, she ends up essentially mind-melded with Amelia, leading to a lot of really fantastic flashbacks to her distant past. But they take to each other, and I was fascinated by the fact that the author didn't go with the more obvious choice of connecting the little sisters together. I mean, a younger sister feeling, rightly or not, that her older sister is neglecting her, that the older sister gets more attention and adulation, and then falling into darkness spurred at least partly on because of this fomenting animosity? We know this story. But instead, Amelia connects to the Sun Princess, and, I dunno, it's really unexpected, and yet another aspect of the story that just works.
The Goblins: Here's something you wouldn't expect: as part of the Goblin King's plans to gain control of the next Age, he kidnaps Amelia and puts her through a simulated Ponyville, featuring six goblin actresses who've been studying their entire lives to impersonate the Elements of Harmony. If it sounds convoluted, it is, and picking this part of the plot apart takes rather a while (leading to some questioning of how well the 'mane six' are written at first). But eventually, Amelia breaks out, and the actresses come back later as key players in the whole thing.
Now, one can cynically say that the six goblins are just palette swaps of the mane cast, by virtue of being close enough in personality to them to fit the roles, and one wouldn't be too far off base for some. Maille is essentially "Rarity-but-with-armor and also some kind of dragon". Pinion's personality is pretty much exactly Pinkie Pie, just a lot more Cockney. Somewhat on the nose, she has wings, while Rose, Fluttershy's double, does not, Rose being somewhat moody but operating with a cadre of well cared-for beasts and monsters. Twig is Twilight-but-a-deer. (Oh but that sweet, sweet TwigDash though.)
But then there's Kiln, who's absolutely enormous, and never has a kind word for anyone. She didn't strike me as anything but a grumpier Applejack until late in the story, when she gets a jaw-dropping reveal that I absolutely will not spoil, even if you ask me. It comes kind of out of left field, but I think it makes sense in context.
The real standout, though, is Flash, the would-be Rainbow Dash who fucks off from Goblin Keep to live among ponies. I won't say who she is, other than her being a show character (and her existence used in another of those "why does this character look like X character" explanations). She may be a latecomer, but she's a very strong character, leading Leit, Lyra and Marcus on a wild chase through Las Pegasus before joining up on the right side and eventually redeeming herself in the eyes of her abandoned former compatriots.
If I'm going to talk about her, I should also mention her sister, Live Wire. Wire is a stagehand, shy and awkward, who gets tangled up with Amelia (almost literally) during her escape from the Keep and remains by her side for most of the story. She's kind of a cutie patootie, but then I have a thing for kids who are scared of their own shadows. When she finally gets to step up to the plate, it's a really triumphant moment, and I do love how close she gets to the Cutie Mark Crusaders. (I forgot to mention them earlier, but of course they're gonna be in a story with a kid pony character.)
Nessus, King of Wands: The mythologically inclined among you should recognize that name from certain Heraclitean tales. In this story, he's who I've been calling "The Goblin King" until now; he's actually one of four goblin kings, from the aforementioned four Courts, and as I said earlier, the one who sets everything in motion. He's a pretty great villain, with a sympathetic backstory and two thousand years to turn that hurt and anger into total batshit crazy. But I like that he's able to do things like bargain for his Wand with a being at near godlike power levels, and then lose graciously. We don't honestly get to see much of him throughout the story, but what we do see leaves an impression.
I feel I should also mention Fetter, the Knight (if I'm not mistaken) of Wands. He's kind of your bumbling lackey archetype, but he made an impression, too, which is why I felt like he got short shrift in the last third or so of the story. He makes one final appearance, only to be defeated off-screen. Everything that happens in the story is put into motion by the King of Wands; everything that goes wrong with that plan is Fetter's fault.
I just wrote "King of Wangs" this has been going on too long help
The Morgwyn: Man. What can I say about the Morgwyn? If I can point to one super-original idea in all of this, the Morgwyn would be it. A shape-shifting catlike spirit, the Morgwyn is generally nearby when Amelia needs it, ready to aid her in any way it can. It's actually got some of the strongest motivation in the entire story, yet its motives remain frustratingly opaque for most of it. I spent a lot of notage trying to figure out just whose side it was one, when in reality, it's only on its own side. What happens to it eventually is another sort of thing I'm not going to spoil, save that I was shocked in a completely different way by what Amelia is capable of.
Well, that's a tidy list of folks. :O There are some others I could mention, like Captain Holder, who gets not one, but two of the most badass one-liners in the entire story, or the King of Swords, who's really cool, but for as many main characters as there are in this piece, it doesn't have a huge supporting cast, and most of the secondary and tertiary characters are just there to fill their roles. Not that they can't be badasses in their own right. :)
Theme and Symbolism
Lastly, something I don't often get to discuss! I felt theme was a really strong element of this piece, and the theme is "change". The characters change over the course of the story, yes, and become very aware of those changes by the end, but it goes deeper than that. Change (from human to pony) is necessary to cross the Veil into Equestria. Change (from pony to human) is necessary for Leit Motif to talk Amelia down from reshaping reality in her image. The goblins change forms regularly and induce change on those around them. The Morgwyn changes constantly. The Wand symbolizes change. Even the main characters are shifting between human and pony forms with regularity by the end of the story.
Change suffuses the characters and plot on every level, and nowhere is it more important than in the main conflict. A "new Age" is coming, which will herald changes to everything, and the King of Wands tries to control the prophecy so he can take control of that change. To wrest the control back, Amelia has to change herself pretty drastically, and the effects of that change don't fade when she loses the power. The Morgwyn is trying to enact change as well. "Change" is starting to lose its meaning; I think you get the gist, let's move on.
The main symbol, then, is water. This is exemplified in Daphne's assumption of the mantle of Aquarius, but it's again found throughout the story. The Veil, for instance, the barrier separating human Earth from Equestria, is situated over a river. Daphne's mind palace — and I swear to god, I thought that was something they made up for Sherlock until reading this story D: — is situated on an island. When her Water Bearer powers kick in, she compares the visions to water pouring into and out of her mind. Her illusion magic is described as "mist". And of course, there's the image of the Well from the title, and the Fountain on which it's based, not to mention good old water spirit Pirene herself.
One more thing I wanted to touch on that didn't really fit anywhere else: there's not a lot of hash made about it, but this story does explore the age differences, or should I say maturity differences between Earth and Equestria. Leit and Daphne, for instance, are the same age, but when they meet again, Leit's an independent young mare living on her own, with a steady job, while Daphne's still working her way through high school. The differences in their mentalities are stark at that point, and the changes they go through by the end only highlight how different human and pony societies are.
I point this out only because it's a solid bit of world-building, not to mention something I enjoy seeing in fics, and because not a huge deal was made of it. There've been reams of discussion and debate about the relative ages of the mane cast, and I think "ponies just mature earlier" isn't a bad way to go about it. Of course, I did have to wonder just what Applejack meant when she told Leit relationships were important for "a mare your age". Like, geez, AJ, how the fuck old are you? XD
Notes and Whatever
Yes, it's that time again, time for me to read back through my notes, see if I've left anything out, try desperately to cram it into this monster, and highlight some choice snarking. :V Though I might not have all that much to add, let's see…
and now Naomi gets to ride Daphne, just like she always wanted, bow-chicka-etc.
(Seriously, there's so much sexual tension in this story, most of it centering around Daphne.)
and then Rainbow Dash was best pony
>tfw Applejack and Derpy arguing about who's the background pony
and then Rainbow Dash was worst pony :V
"What was the use of a magical faerie kingdom that couldn't get its mythology right?"
>tfw when Twilight was exploded a princess
she wins because she can pick up a spoon, but loses because cheese in oatmeal what
"We aren't just simple animals who eat whatever we find… except Lyra" XD
and now Daphne's hearing some watery tart whispering the future in her ear
"Wow, I can't believe that worked" holy shit, Sweetie, you have become the master
but apparently centaurs are proof that ponies and humans intermingled once and…
goddammit, she said there was no human/pony sex in this :|
at last, we meet the Page of Exposition :V
"move in with her" yes, I am definitely reading romantic overtones into Leit's friendship with Daphne now :V
the Morgwyn is fucking Diend
"I finally get a chance to be an action hero and the only girls around to appreciate it are horses" XD
Naomi, you've been a horse for less than a day, stop fucking the natives
Bonus Chapter
Yes, I wanted to do a section about this. Note that I said I got the book in March of 2016; in April of that year, Well of Pirene updated with a new "bonus epilogue". This was apparently written by Solana, not the original author, though there's not much of a difference in the writing (other than it being told third-person). It takes place in time halfway between Pirene and its sequel and mostly explores how Amelia is doing in the goblin kingdom, and her relationship with the transformed Morgwyn. It also gives us a heaping helping of Luna, to make up for her somewhat absence in the main story. :V
Honestly, it's every bit as good as Pirene proper, it just comes off as something that could have been posted on its own, as a side-story or sequel. Pirene's actual epilogue (which, I should mention, is two parts; who does that) is the actual ending of the story. If nothing else, I'm looking forward to that sequel. :3
Outro
Hot shit, this motherfucker's twelve pages long.
Through the Well of Pirene is one of those stories I want to wrap around myself and roll around in. It is absolutely one of the best HiE's I've ever read, even above Project Sunflower, though just putting it in that category denies the scope and breadth of its adventure. Its success rides on the back of its strong characters and fantastic world-building, solid, memorable writing, and mind-blowing twists. It may be a little hard to get into at the very outset, and its length is daunting, but if you ride it out, you'll find yourself experiencing something really incredible.
(It may also have merit as gateway fic, though Project Sunflower might do that better. Worth considering if you know someone who loves mythology and faerie adventures, though!)
5/5
More than just a good HiE.
haha fuck that took me like 5 hours to write x.X
You, sir, are the very definition of persevering in the face of of whatever you call four thousand pony fics.
Good show, ol' Bean.
One of the only MLP-related items I own is the hardcover of Pirene (I have two shirts from like 2013, which I outgrew, the Derpy plush from MMDG, and a 5"x7" postcard print of the Mane 6 in a convertible). It is, by far, the best HiE I have ever read.
The one thing I don't like about stories such as these is how inferior they make me feel as a writer. Still, I'm going to go read it, despite the risk. Worth it! (and it won't take me a year)
4411954
You mean like most stories you write? You're among the authors that make me heave a deep sigh when I read because I know my enjoyment will be tempered by existential dread and feelings of inadequacy.
Also, >mfw Senpai will read a 369K story but not my 99K one
derpicdn.net/img/2013/5/21/330303/medium.jpg
Huh. Timely. I only finished this story last week. Definitely read the sequel. It is amazing. Also shorter.
Oh, and for the record, I saw the Kiln twist coming. There are hints.
Heh.
Thank you for taking the time to put this together, and congratulations on four kiloreviews.
Heh. 'Divisive' is a good way to characterize Amelia. I know I've given Ether plenty of grief about how I felt Amelia gets off too lightly in the end...and nearly 2 years after I read the story, I -still- have yet to forgive Amelia for the fucked up shit she pulled.
Which is kind of funny to me, really. I get why she did it, and it's a testament to Ether's writing that it kicked me in the emotional gut hard enough that it still is painful ~2 years after I finished the book. It's doubly funny because on some level I recognize Ether is right about 'She's already paid for it' and yet I still want to see her sent to the Moon or something for a century or more.
Suffice to say it's given me a lot to chew on over concepts of justice since then, and the walkaway effect was to help me better understand why some people feel so strongly about retributive punishment.
Like, that argument was what, 1.5 years ago in the blogpost 'On Amelia' was memory serves, and so much of it still sticks out clear as day. It's a great reminder for me whenever I want to think of something where 'Intellectually I can see the point, but emotionally I want to punch this person in the face really hard.'
Damnit. And that brings another sort of epiphany, but not one I'm ready to process yet. Since I know you are going to read this Ether, feel free to PM me if you are curious; I think you'll be interested to hear it at the least.
Man, this story. Top five in the fandom if I had to make a list.
If this is what I think it is, to this day it still makes me go Oh my god quietly to myself when I think back on the story.
I always wanted a copy of Well of Pirene. Sadly, every time there was a print, I didn't have any money.
4411999
IT'S FUNNY because, given what she did, I really shouldn't forgive her. (See my comments on that chapter.) But maybe it's just because forgiveness of villains has become such a thing in the show lately, I didn't mind it.
Congrats on 4K!
As for the story, sounds like something I should have read when it started. I probably would have liked it. Now, it takes a minor miracle for me to read anything with humans in it. It's just not an element that sat well with me and has only gotten stronger with time. I've read some really good ones (back when I was first reading pony fanfiction) but I just can't summon up the will to read something that has miserable, hairless apes in it.
Kudos to the author, though! It couldn't have been easy to juggle that many original characters with such heavy themes written around them. And make them likable, as well. I struggle enough with characters that are well established.
5/5? Damn. Now I'm going to have to stop making excuses for not reading it. Looks like this will be my "sitting in the garden with the e-reader" story for this summer.
4412051 I think the big difference is that I am hugely attached to one of those she transgresses, and yea. That really did not sit well with me, especially since Ether saw fit to really twist the knife with the backstory on why this was EVEN WORSE.
Grats on the 4k reviews!
Great review; it notes a lot of things that I either didn't catch or don't remember. It also reminds me that I really have to crack open my hardcover copy.
Eeeehehehehe, it's heeeeeere
I was so excited that when I saw this pop up in my feed, I actually trembled. I continued to tremble for the duration of the read, for which I took a break at work to review and recuperate.
I appreciate that quite a lot. Indeed, I was fully prepared to come into this review and getting hammered. I knew you liked it, but I never knew how much or to what extent!
As I mentioned to you personally, it's stunning how many errors people find four bloody years after I finished it.
So, fun fact, I am ludicously red/green color-blind, so I can't see most purples. My editor insisted that this was the correct hue, and I only (I think!) used it in describing Twilight to Amelia for that first time :D
She nearly did. Zebra magic is part of the inspiration for goblin magic, and in Pirene they're exactly the same.
Rough balance between chronology and characters, I fear. I might have made some changes given the chance. Even then, the chronology can be a bit wonky, with Amelia's escape from Phonyville taking place chronologically after Daphne's arrival at Ponyville, but occurring in the narrative beforehoof - a necessary sacrifice, otherwise we would have had like 5-6 Daphne chapters in a row.
Later on, I probably should have split 19 and 20 up a bit more so that people weren't hammered with 2 devastating Amelia chapters at once.
*snort*
I just call it Pirene~
Leaving aside how precocious she was at the beginning, she does physically change throughout her long escape, becoming less and less human and more like the Morgwyn. It only makes what she does to it later all the sweeter.
One of many reasons that this is an MLP story :D it is, in a way, a commentary on HiE itself, in addition to being its own story. This is deliberate - I went into Pirene after reading several HiEs and thinking to myself "this can be done better."
In Pirene, alicorns start with a divine spark and add on one race at a time~
Yeah, I definitely went with the notion that the myths we know are just poorly-remembered versions of actual history.
Yeah, definitely. I worry sometimes that people won't look beyond their initial impression of her, because she really does grow into someone quite a bit better over the course of the story.
Like her sister, mother, and grandmother, she was haunted by dreams and visions of things that could not be so - until suddenly they were. She's also the most ambitious member of her family by far, with a drive far exceeding her small frame.
When writing them, I wrote Daphne as 'on the verge of maturity, alto female', Amelia as 'sparky, a lilting high alto, ambiguously feminine', and Leit Motif a 'sad, feminine tone, close to as low as a female voice gets but not quite.' Sometimes, Amelia blended into Daphne a bit more than I'd like, but hopefully her observations are different enough to distinguish her.
Worth mentioning it was years before she appeared, as you commented in the story :D
Even worse, an insurance adjuster, responsible for dealing with disaster-prone Ponyville :3 :3 Premiums there must be awful.
Also, the most fundamentally practical, paradoxically! She's the one who prepares all of their supplies after all~
His father is Filipino, his mother is mixed Caucasian/Asian/Black. Spanish last names are one of the most visible remnants of Spanish/American imperialism in the Phillipines.
I tried not to draw direct attention to it, because I wanted it to be a thing that he's multiracial without it being a thing
Lyra is the darkhorse favorite. She's the cast member who boldly inserted herself into the story and stayed there, never having been a part of my original plans, but boy did she shape it once she was in.
It's kind of ambiguous where her badassery comes from, but she comments that she became a Royal Guard reservist after the Changeling Invasion because she was sick of being kicked around by monsters :D
Deliberately breaking and playing with Lyra tropes was a big deal for me. At the time of this writing, her being in a relationship with Bon Bon was only a fanon thing, so I played her as more straight (with hints of bisexuality) to get a different perspective.
Lyra was an absolute joy to write, and easily stands on her own throughout the narrative.
I've had to reassure a few people who failed to make it through that chapter that they really needed to finish it, because they assumed I was just shit at writing the Mane Six when in fact they were just fake :D
Nessus to me may be the single biggest failure of the narrative. I actually originally had him playing more of a role - specifically, the racoon merchant who takes them to Mag Mell? He was going to be Nessus shapeshifted. Unfortunately, I really struggled to make it work, and I wanted to get on with the story. Still, I did my best to make him meaningful.
Appointed specifically because he was a bit of a limp noodle. His surrender to the CMC was cut for time on-screen, as was the CMC's detailed invasion of and escape from the Wand airship.
Bahahaha!
Well he is an 8 foot tall centaur. I'm sure he has something going on.
This kind of makes a more subtle cultural point, which is that ponies are highly pro-social. Also, Leit's never dated, and Applejack was kind of saying 'get the fuck out of the house and have some fun' rather than 'tap dat ass'~ :D
Naomi swings every way, if you catch my drift.
It's cute that you think that isn't a thing :3
http://www.seriouseats.com/talk/2011/09/cheese-in-my-oatmeal.html
Look, man, I promised you no human/pony sex in the story, not ten thousand years ago. The Greeks got up to weird shit! :D
I wrote part of it. I give my sister like 90% credit for it, though. She feels like Amelia is her in large part, and Morgan's story was infinitely important to her.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Now, I'm just going to camp out in the comments here until the end of time @_@
Just what I need; thousands and thousands more words to read... *plods on over*
4412225
I'm in the same boat, it just didn't bother me after the fact. Maybe cuz that great backstory is something we wouldn't have gotten otherwise? :B
4412369
Join the fucking club >:V
I've never figured out why people shy away from long fics. If they're bad, you can just stop reading after a couple of chapters. If they're good... holy carp, you've got lots and lotsof good pony fic to enjoy!
That said, this is the best long pony fic ever... IMHO.
4412428
Sometimes people feel intimidated at a large project. It's a normal human thing.
4412434
Mmmm... same people who call quitter-strips "bookmarks" I'll bet!
4411942
Can't figure out if you're being a dick to PP or to me, or both. Either way, diiick.
As you can see from the many other comments, he didn't waste any time at all.
This isn't some conveniently timed response to Chris reviewing your reviews, is it? Because this is certainly an epic review
It's good to know Pirene has earned its spot on my Read It Later list… although there are roughly two thousand stories ahead of it. I tend to run away screaming when I encounter triple-digit word lengths (doubly so when the first digit isn't a one), but in this case I'll give it a go
4412376 it's because your heart is cold and dead you hack! I still love you though.
Understatement of the Century.
The hints started dropping just after halfway or the last third of the story. I was kinda expecting that by the time of the reveal, even though it took so long that I forgot about it... x.x
4412316
Actually, I'm part Filippino myself. That, and plus he was one of my favorite characters, and plus he sometimes reminds me of myself sometimes–I sometimes project myself on him just to give me some mental visualization of the story. Narcissistic I know.
I think I kinda look like him, too. I mean, the only images I have to go on are redsama's rendition of Naomi and Marcus, and Kirito from SAO. Just by looks alone for the latter; also I never watched that anime, to be honest.
Man, now I want to read this story again.
WoP was filled with a bunch of incredible, stand-out moments, the kind you read and wish that you could've written. You mentioned the Clockwork Tower (such a minor but delicious item), and I would have to add the bridling of Rainbow Dash as my two favorites.
Edit: And the scene where the CMC turn into goblins. Okay I'll be here all day if I keep listing favorites so let's just stick with those.
4412610
Someone drew them? :O Link?
Yay! PP reviewed something I read and he said all the things that were good that I couldn't say because I couldn't write myself out of a wet paper bag.
Great review. Great story. Good times were had by all.
I remember going through this fic a few years ago. My best description if it would be it's like a whole cheesecake: thick and ruch with flavor that utter fills you up, but bad if you try to eat it all in one sitting. Take your time and enjoy it, otherwise you're gonna get sick.
4412691 i820.photobucket.com/albums/zz122/etherechoes/ocs_for_ether_by_redsama-d6k60ld_zpsaed4fbde.png
4413048
They look like country Mulder and Scully. :D
I'm starting to feel like 'vs' is too confrontational a title for blogs like this. I always go into it expecting a massive deconstruction of everything that doesn't work in a thing, pursued with all the fervor of a personal vendetta.
Ah, well. Sounds good. Perhaps I shall one day unearth it from the pits of Read It Later where I have just thrown it.
4412063
You should try it. Might bring you back!
4412645
When the average reader tells me that, I feel gratified, accomplished, ready to take on anything.
When someone I respect as much as you tells me things like that? I sit back, stunned, and wonder.
4412691
Good on Herp to get it to you.
You can actually find a lot of art in my author notes on each (online only) chapter!
4413071
You should have seen the first draft. Naomi had cleavage like whoa.
Can't wait to see you read Three Nights~
4413096
I've been thinking about this since I left my comment and felt kinda bad that I badmouthed a story I haven't read yet.
I'm putting it on my Read Later List and will save it for a vacation I have coming up. I'll give it a few chapters. Who knows? Maybe I'll get through the whole thing.
4413079
The only reason you don't think this wasn't a confrontation is because you weren't with me trying to squeeze out chapters once a month in between bouts of depression and distraction. <.< But yes, I've actually considered the antagonistic nature of these blog titles and decided to keep it, as a sort of "last word" indicator.
4413096
Are you promising me tiddies? <.< Don't promise me tiddies unless you mean it!
4413356
I don't think I have that version anymore :D
Well, guess this is
getting added tomoving up the pile... that I haven't been able to really touch in ages. D:Oh wait, audio version! ... with only 8 of 26 chapters ... boo ... :-(
This was a great review. It really brought back a lot of that nostalgic energy I felt when reading this story. And it's great to see so many of my favorite writers here to sing it's praise.
Imho, this work is in the top five best pony fics ever, and of those, it's the best "Book length" standalone story there is on this site, end of discussion.
4413699
Yeah, sadly, you get what you pay for with free help. The VA's up to 15 after all this time, but the editor hasn't even finished 9 in months.
4413758
Lamplighter, you've been there since the beginning, and every time I see you, I light up just a bit, because I treasure you like I do all of my most beloved fans.
4412009
That goes for you, too, DJ. You're one of a very few handful of people who I see and I'm just happy to see at once.
Worth noting that GaPJaxie wrote that first song :3
Something I was reflecting on the drive to work is how the unintentional theme of the story is self-loathing.
Daphne, at the start of the story, hates herself. She's spent eight years relentlessly repressing her desires, her visions, her memories, and convincing herself that she wants to be normal, until the mask becomes real. That's ultimately why Marcus dumped her. The Daphne you meet towards the end of the novel is the real Daphne.
Amelia loves herself at the start, but she grows to hate herself as a result of her actions.
Leit Motif hates herself and doesn't even realize it. She refuses to be happy, she closes herself off. She's filled with sourceless rage and pain. Only by confronting herself does she confront Amelia.
4414167
Well, he's no worse than Brian Jacques, then. :V
Ahh, self-loathing. There's no way I'd know what that's like. V:
:B
4413842
Completely get it. I'm frankly amazed people do as much as they do, and that anyone without at least a locally/fandom large follower base does longfic at all, for all that I prefer listening to it compared to shortfics. It's sad to see projects stopped up in the middle, but it's a known hazard, and with rare exceptions I'm not about to blame anyone for that happening.
I'll keep an eye on that so I can potentially move it into the "commute listening" category, should it ever get towards the end of the story.
4414214
)
Another thing I think is worth mentioning (from the comments at least) is that Marcus and Leit were never really attracted to one another in the usual way - that is, their attraction was based on emotional factors first, and they imagined one another as their chosen race (though that gets murkier when Marcus starts living as a pony more often, but that's something you can get to see in Three Nights so nyeh~
Also what the heck is the Zecora Test?
4415155
Specifically, writing good Zecora dialogue. Generally, being able to write dialogue that has rhyme and meter and doesn't stretch to get either. The sphinx qualifies. :B
Man I always love when someone else uses that word. Gunhaving led to one of my earliest TS Eliot pastiches. (Plus, Homestar Runner.)
Time to queue this monster up!
4417566
I always felt like Marcus had an interesting story that I wasn't telling, which is why he ends up being the star of the second novel. Of all the main characters in Pirene, he's probably the one with whom I personally identify the least, but who I was quite fond of. He's got a lot of complexities.
And yes, one of his many facets is having guns :D