...Or not.
It's Luna's first night back from a thousand years upon the moon, and Luna isn't exactly very clean. Nor is she very understanding of present day devices of cleaning. So when Luna must use what ponies of the present call a 'shower' how will she fare?
This is my first story so constructive criticism would be nice :D!
Lol my descriptions suck.
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I'll read the story and post my thoughts (and your typos) in a second, but, in your description, fair should be fare.
Spoilers ahead for those who haven't read this:
Typos, er, grammar error:
The rest of the ponies in the castle had obviously been avoiding her in fear, but it hardly bothered her.
in fear should be out of fear
thoughts (presented as I wrote them while reading through the story):
Try mixing up a description of the pony speaking with their names. Say, instead of saying "Celestia said," for the third time, try saying something like the older alicorn said, or the taller alicorn said, though don't go too far with that, because it can get annoying.
Why didn't Luna use her magic to reach the bucket, especially since she used her magic later (aside from comedy)? This needs a bit more explanation.
Equestria? Wouldn't fate be a better word here?
Licking the button? That was hilarious!
Luna's struggle to turn off the shower works, but it would hve been a lot better had it gone on longer and been harder on the poor dark alicorn.
Definately a good first effort, though. Just try to work out those kinks when you write your next story..
Far, FAR, too similar to LittleAngelStockings own effort, right down to having the same cover art; originality isn't the easiest thing in a fandom this big but this comes off as an attempt to ride coattails.
Sorry to sound harsh but, criticism is the only way we learn.
2444971
.
I actually have no idea who LittleAngelStockings is x.x There's a good chance I have read the story before, however, but simply forgot about it and ended up basing this on that story without realizing, because I have really bad memory. Sorry about that, I definitely didn't mean for it to happen
2444940
In order to discover this we must delve into my awkward headcanons!
Within these awkward headcanons is one that basically says "When Nightmare Moon was turned back to Luna, all of Luna's power had been drained," which would explain why Luna had lost her night-sky hair and whatnot. This being the first night back at the castle, I doubt all of her magic would have already come back.
Or, you know, we could just say she didn't think of it at the time....
This is awkward, I actually do this quite alot in other stories I write so I don't know why it slipped by me this time
xD
I was thinking about changing that one, actually, it just sounded really... awkward.
I SHALL FLY AWAY AND FIX THESE AWKWARD MISTAKES!
The shower stall had no drain?
2445336 It's here.
I haven't read it, but name and cover image are the same / almost the same. The description also seems very similar to me.
LOL! Luna hates showers. you know, that explains a lot actually....
What was that Demon?
N-Nothing Luna!
2445915
It did. Just because there's a drain doesn't mean a shower spraying all over the place is ineffective
2445947
...Woooow....
I need to take a break from the internet and go sit in a corner.
I honestly can't remember ever seeing the story before, I probably did glance at it once or twice however, which would explain why the name and description are so similar
Curse my evil bad memory.
2446346
Lol :'D
2446766 It's alright. It's not unusual for something like that to happen - sometimes you just forget where your idea for a fic came from.
This was so funny! Luna licking the dot just got me cracking up! I got into trouble from Mum for laughing so loud. Boohoo to Mrs. Grumpy pants !