Shoot For The Stars

by Burritoburger

Shooting star

Chapter 2: Shooting Star

After I explained everything to Princess Celestia, her smile quickly evolved into a frown.
"I see." She said, sounding unsure of what to do. "The kids can handle it." She finally said.
"Wait, what? That is a meteorite heading towards Equestria, and you want Twilight and her friends to stop it?" I asked.
"Why of course. They saved the world twice, why not again?" She replied. I stared at her, until Starlight finally added,
"Y'know, sometimes I wonder why Equestria is always staring at the face of danger. Oh, right. It's because our ruler doesn't want to deal with it herself." And with that, she teleported us away.

We teleported back into our house, figuring out what to do.
"Hey, Starlight." I called to her.
"What?" She replied from the bathroom.
"Remember that one time that I went into space?"
There was a pause.
"...Yeah?" She replied, sounding worried at what I was going to say next.
"What if I did that again? To, y'know, stop the meteorite?"
She stepped out of the bathroom and walked downstairs to where I was sitting.
"You know that doing this can be very risky. The last time you tried it, you were in the hospital for six months!" She replied.
"That was only because I had my trajectory wrong. If I had angled my wings by just a few more degrees, I could have gotten the velocity that was required." I replied.
"Yes, but you can hurt yourself. I don't want you getting two broken wings and a petrified leg again." She said.
"Trust me. I can do this." I said, looking into her eyes.
She stopped for a moment, deciding what to do.
"...Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you when you kill yourself." She said back.

"Are you absolutely sure about this?" Starlight said. I turned to look at her, which was hard due to the sunrise that was coming up. I pulled down my goggles.
"Positive." I said. I curled into almost like a ball.
"3...2...1... go!" She swung the axe at the rope that was holding the arm of the catapult down. The arm swung up with a loud "thwang!" I could feel the wind rushing over my face. When I was at my peak speed, I unfurled my wings and started flapping them as hard as I could. I then shot straight down as the cone formed around me. I was only three feet away from the ground, and stopped. I turned around, and like a slingshot, that cone tightened and I shot upward, doubling my speed. The exact same cone formed around me again, but with the extra speed I had picked up, I shattered through it, literally tripling my speed. A loud boom was heard behind me, and I looked back to see a streak trailing behind me that looked like the night sky. I held my breath as I passed the O-zone layer, and out of the atmosphere. There was a purple light encased in the projectile, one that I could only imagine was Twilight Sparkle's. She must be as shocked as I am. But her magic was not enough, and I made contact with it, pushing against the meteorite. Let me tell ya, this was about as useless as an ant fighting a giant. I thought all was lost, until I heard yet another boom. I saw a light blue Pegasus that had a mane and tail that had the colors of the rainbow on them. On the upside, she was sure as hell strong. On the downside, it wasn't enough to stop the meteorite. It finally lit on fire and heated up a lot before we came in contact with the ground.

"...Stargazer... wake up Stargazer... WAKE UP!" I jolted up and looked around. I was in a hospital. I looked at Starlight, who was sitting next to my bed.
"What did I break?" I asked.
"Nothing. The meteor shrank down to a small enough size where it couldn't do any harm. You are only in here because you have 9th degree burns." She said back. I raised an eyebrow.
"I didn't know there was such thing as a ninth degree burn." I said.
"There is now." She replied.
"So, I did all that for nothing?" I asked.
"No, you slowed it down enough to where it became small enough to do no harm. If you hadn't of done that, Ponyville would most likely be a wasteland by now." She explained.
"Oh. Well, this sucks." I said, laying back down.
"Don't worry, Nurse Redheart says you should be out of here in a month or so." She replied.
"Miss Starlight?" a nurse peeked through the door.
"Yes?" She replied.
"You need to fill out some paperwork, follow me please." She instructed. Starlight looked at me.
"Take care." She said, and she followed the nurse out the door. I sighed and looked at the ceiling. This is gonna be one long month. I closed my eyes as my thoughts began to drift.

Comments

[Burritoburger]

This chapter might be a little disorganized due to the fact that I scratched this one up out of nowhere.

[Iambrony]

Ok try again this is what i think of this story

i207.photobucket.com/albums/bb138/Bean5657/EpicWallpaperMedium.jpg

[Burritoburger]

186995
LOL glad you like it.

[Burritoburger]

If you want, I can push myself to le limit and make another chapter today.

[Burritoburger]

Also, who's your favorite pokemon?
Mine is:
desmond.imageshack.us/Himg688/scaled.php?server=688&filename=sceptile.png&res=medium

[Evocator]

9th degree burns? well....
better than 25th degree.......stupid lightning....and mirrors....and light and energy amplifying spells .......well at least i survived...after about a month of extreme care

[Nazkan]

I'm not gonna lie, the second paragraph made me cringe.
If you have to have to break the narration of the story to explain things, like backstory, or motivation, or anything like that, That's not a good sign.
Instead of telling us that Stargazer is a mail man with a dark past, you should focus on showing us.
For example, try having the character reminisce about his past, clichéd as it is, (The reminiscing, not your past. I think.), or have a conversation with Carrot Top to explain the issue. If it any moment you're tempted to slow down or stop the story to explain key elements, that's a sign you need to take a break and think up a new way to add those elements to your story. To me, The point of a story isn't to advance the plot, though that is something important. The point of a story is to show how the characters interact with each other under different circumstances.
Finally, despite breaking the story to explain things, you still managed to avoid telling us anything about the time she went to space in the first time. That seems like something that is both interesting and needed.
But then again, maybe I'm just nitpicking, I'm not a skilled writer either. Just remember this kind of thing if you write again.

Oh, and I nearly forgot, That is what I meant when I said each speaker gets a line, but you don't need a new line if the person is just continuing what they were saying,
Example: "I see," She said, "The kids can handle it."
Instead of: "I see," She said,
"The kids can handle it."

P.S. My favourite pokemon is Steelix.

[TheLogoliner]

mine is swampert
foro.cemzoo.com/picture.php?albumid=1590&pictureid=120222