Note: The OC Muffin is property of ultrasponge. This will also be quite a long chapter, tell me if all of them should be this long.
Chapter 17: Split apart
I woke up to the sound of a knock on my door. I got up and went downstairs, not caring how messy my mane was. I opened the door to reveal Rainbow Dash.
"Hey, Stargazer. Bumble and I were wondering if you can hang out today." She said.
(Dude! Do it!)
No. I need to spend time with Derpy.
"Sorry, I can't." She frowned.
"Oh, that's okay. Maybe some other time. I just wanted to know you more." She said, about to walk away.
Huh. She seems a bit depressed.
(Grrr...Fuck you! I'm out of here and hanging out with her on my own!)
{No, Anger! Don-}
They were gone.
Guys? Guys!
...
Goddammit!
I flew in the opposite direction that Rainbow Dash was heading, trying to find my separated consciousnesses.
Anger's point of view
I landed in some grass, with Stargazer's, or I should say my house in the distance.
"Finally out of that idiot's body again. Now to hang out with Rainbow Dash." I said out loud. I flew over my house, and saw Rainbow Dash flying in the distance. I gained on her, and got close enough to be able to talk to her.
"Hey Rainbow!" I said. She turned to me.
"Did you change your mind?" She asked.
"Heh. You could kinda say that." I chuckled. When we arrived at Rainbow's house, we walked inside. Bumble came over.
"Hey Stargazer! How have you been?" I punched his shoulder.
"Just fine, kid." I replied.
"Ow, that hurt." He whined. I scoffed.
"Pussy." I said. I walked in the kitchen and grabbed a few sandwiches and scarfed them down in seconds.
"Hey, who gave you permission to eat all of our food?" Bumble asked, walking in. I stood up and burped.
"I did. You got a problem with that?" I replied.
"Actually, I do." He said.
"Come on, he isn't so bad." Rainbow Dash walked in. I smirked, having an idea. I walked over to Rainbow Dash and kissed her on the cheek.
"You know it, baby." I said. She blushed and giggled. Bumble's eye twitched. Oh, I have a good idea alright.
"Hey Rainbow Dash, come with me." I said.
"Okay." She followed me in her bedroom. She looked at me on the bed, my legs stretched out.
"Ready?" I asked. She giggled.
"Why not?" She said. As she approached, the door flew open, and Bumble walked in. Perfect.
"Hey Rainbow Dash, can you-" He stopped at the sight of me about to have sex with Rainbow Dash. His eye twitched once more, and a wicked smiled danced onto his face. That was the entirely opposite effect I was looking for. He pulled out a random knife from nowhere and lunged at me. Fuck! I dodged to the side and ran out the door. Oh god, this was a mistake, I need to find Stargazer fast!
Knowledge's point of view
I fell on some grass, a considerable distance from Twilight Sparkle's house. I got up and wiped all of the dust off of my legs.
"Grrr... Why does Anger have to be a nincompoop? He knew that we would all get-" I stopped, as I had a sudden realization. Hm... I've always wanted to try some chemistry with Twilight, and knowing Stargazer, he probably wouldn't allow me to. I sighed. I'm going to regret this in a minute. I walked to the tree, and knocked on the door. I waited, no answer. I then facehoofed.
"Where is my head today? Twilight moved with Lance in Canterlot! I hope I can remember the exact location." I said out loud.
After at least ten minutes of searching, I finally found the house I was looking for. I knocked on the door, and Twilight opened it up. I bowed in respect.
"Good afternoon miss Sparkle. I would like to spend some of my spare time practicing chemistry with you." I said. She looked overjoyed.
"I would love to! Just let me get out my chemistry kit!" She ran off, finding her things. After a few more minutes of setting up, I asked her if she needed any help with any of the equations.
"Well, there is one that I haven't gotten perfect yet. It's the adrenaline potion. One sip could give you enough power to tear through a brick wall without a scratch." She explained, showing me the equation. I skimmed through it.
"Oh, what am I saying, you study the stars, not equa-"
"This is incorrect." I interrupted. I erased some parts of it, and filled them with more significant results.
"...thus, making the answer A to the power of 6, which multiplied by B multiplied by X to equal 72." I explained. She looked it over.
"I-I-I can't believe it!" She looked up at me, and I could identify a certain, uh, amount of love in her eyes. She leaned in close.
"Um, excuse me, but it appears you have violated my personal space." I said. She leaned in closer about to kiss me.
What would Stargazer do?
I grabbed her shoulders and slapped her twice in the face.
"Twilight! You are married, you have a foal, and yet you are flirting with me!" I yelled.
"Exactly."
What in the hell has gotten into these ponies?
Before I could stop her, she kissed me, and then the door opened.
"Hey Twilight, I'm back from our tr-" He stopped at the sight of me kissing Twilight, or, to be more precise, Twilight kissing me. I shoved her away, and she noticed Lance there. No doubt about it, Lance was pissed. His hooves started to light on fire, and I believed it was the same fire that teleported us twice. Incorrect, because he lunged at me, and I dodged to the side, running out of the door.
Gotta find Stargazer!
Peace's point of view
I landed on the floor of a house, inside what appeared to be a cottage.
"Angel, honey, what was that?" I heard a familiar, soft voice. Fluttershy gasped as soon as she saw me on the floor.
"Are you okay, Stargazer?" She asked, trying to pick me up, but failed because she wasn't strong enough to lift me. I brought myself up.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I said. I looked around and gasped. All the animals! All the love! I've always wanted to be surrounded by animals, and I've always wanted to take care of them. I saw Fluttershy, who noticed that I was excited.
"Do you like animals?" She asked.
"Of course I do!" I replied.
"Oh! That's wonderful! I can give you some food so you can feed them! I'll be back!" She left the room. I looked over at two squirrels, and they appeared to be beating the crap out of each other.
"Whoa! Whoa, guys. Why are you fighting?" The one squirrel held an acorn and pointed at the other one, and pretended as if he snatched it up and ate it.
"Okay, so he ate one of your acorns when it was yours?" He nodded. I grabbed an acorn from the other pile, and put it in his. The other squirrel, the one that I took from, got mad.
"Stop it you two. You need to learn how to share. You should offer each other your acorns instead of keeping them to yourselves." I explained. They looked at each other, and shook paws. After a few minutes of sitting far away from each other, one of them finally offered one of his acorns to the other. They became friends. I chuckled, and heard Fluttershy walk back in, carrying a ton of food. She gasped, seeing the squirrels become friends.
"What?! They have been fighting for three days! How did you..." She started. She trailed off, looking into my eyes. There was a strange look in her eyes. I gulped. As soon as I saw any form of love, I kind of flip out, especially when it is on me. I ran out of the cottage, and Anger would agree, like a pussy. I was running to find Stargazer.
Strength's point of view
I landed on my hooves, like a boss. I looked around, Sweet Apple Acres. I've always wanted to hang out with Applejack. I knocked on the barn door, and it opened to reveal Applejack.
Hm, Stargazer should be able to get us out of trouble if I flirt with her.
"Hey, can I help you around the barn?" I asked.
"Why sure! You can buck those trees over the-" Before she finished her sentence, I sped over to the trees, and started bucking the shit out of them. With one of them, my hooves went through the tree.
I hope she didn't need that.
I decided to kick it up a notch. I flew up into the sky as fast as I could, and shot down even faster. The cone formed, and I heard the boom. I turned up, to an angle where I could punch the trees from the side at an incredible rate. Every time I punched a tree, all of the apples fell, and I cleared an entire field in seconds. I accidentally flew into an astonished Applejack, and I was on top of her in a, well, a position. I smirked and brought her closer for a kiss. She pushed me off.
"Whoa there, sugarcube." I chuckled. I heard a snort behind me, and I turned to see an angry Big Macintosh.
"What do ya think you're doin' with my sister?" He asked. I gulped.
"Uh, maybe, can I simply walk away without a beating?" I nearly yelped.
"Nnnnnnnope."
"That's what I thought." I shot upwards and uppercutted an unsuspecting Big Mac. I flew off to find Stargazer, Big Macintosh close behind.
Stargazer's point of view
I sped off to the mountain that Lightning Streak pointed to. I expected a simple house, but instead, found a cloud house, like Rainbow Dash's. Only it was made of thunder clouds. I knocked on the door, and it opened to reveal Thunder Streak.
"What's up?"
"My consciousnesses split apart." I simply said. He laughed.
"Oh, that is a good one." He said.
"I'm not kidding! I was sent to another dimension where I was introduced to these four consciousnesses that are in my head. When I was sent to another universe, they took form and then came back to my head when I died. Now they did it again, but I can't find them!" I explained. He chuckled again.
"Yeah, right. You were sent to two different universes, got four voices in your head, and they magically split apart, and you died. I'm sure that's what's going on." He sarcastically stated. I heard a loud boom, and saw an all-too-familiar streak that looked like the night sky. I turned back to Lightning.
"I'll prove it. Come with me!" I commanded. He chuckled, yet again.
"I don't want to be part of this, but whatever." He said. We flew off towards the boom, when we saw a blue figure pass by.
"He didn't see us!" I said.
"I couldn't see him. What happened?" He asked. I flew off, trying to catch up.
"Hey! I want some answers!" Lightning yelled after me.
When I finally caught up, we all ran into each other, five of us, colliding, in town square. When all of my clones came into contact, they disappeared back into my head.
(Jesus!)
{Never again will I attempt to become friends with Twilight.}
[I don't want to mate!]
<I hate Bic Mac, he is strong, and I could easily get killed by him.>
Wait, what?
Lightning caught up, and so did everypony else. Lance, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Bumble, Big Mac, Applejack, and Fluttershy came out, pretty much all of the females looked as if they loved me except for Applejack, while all of the guys looked as if they wanted to kill me. Even Bumble had his traditional knife and crazed smile.
What the fuck did you guys do?
(I was flirting with RD, and then Bumble snapped.)
{I helped Twilight with an equation, but apparently, the answer was love? It can't be...}
[I was helping Fluttershy with the animals, and she suddenly wanted to love me.]
<I was flirting with Applejack, and then Big Mac showed up.>
You are going to PAY for this, idiots.
"I can explain!" They all stopped.
"I have four consciousnesses!"
...
"Very funny, Stargazer! Why were you flirting with my wife?!" Lance yelled.
"Hey everypony, let's play a game! It's called, 'Cut off Stargazer's skin and feed it to rabbid gerbils'!" Bumble suggested, still looking crazy as ever.
"Watch!" I yelled.
Do it, guys.
{This time, Anger, focus on appearing in front of Stargazer.}
(Okay.)
There was a flash of blue light, and the other four of me appeared, all looking a bit terrified.
"Whoa." Lightning said.
"See, my consciousnesses were jerking off, and so they ended up flirting with all of you." I explained. Everypony looked very confused, and my consciousnesses walked up to the others.
Knowledge went to Lance and just, well, apologized.
"I apologize." He held out his hoof, and Lance reassuringly shook it.
"Sorry. I don't want to flirt with anypony at the moment." Peace said to Fluttershy. She looked down and walked away. Strength walked up to Bic Mac.
"Sorry." He held out his hoof. Big Mac punched him in the face so hard, I just barely dodged him when he went flying towards me.
"Apology accepted." He said, and walked away with Applejack. Anger walked up, smacked Bumble twice, and walked back to me.
"What happened?" He asked, sounding a bit confused. He then fainted, where Rainbow Dash caught him and brought him home.
"So, Lightning," I turned to an astonished Lightning Streak."What do you think of my consciousnesses? Anger, Knowledge, Peace, and Strength." I pointed to all of them. Lightning's eye twitched, he was definitely astonished.
"I need a nap." He said, walking away.
"Okay, guys, come back in." They went back in my head.
(What a day!)
Yeah, well, this is one of the worst days of my life.
I was about to walk away when something crashed into me, sending me to the floor.
"Oh! I am so sorry, dude." He said, pulling me up. He wore a white suit that fit his white coat, and he had a red mane and tail, and he was wearing sunglasses. He was an earth pony.
"Wait, how could you fly into me if you don't have wings?" I asked.
"Well, I launched myself from that catapult over there." He pointed over behind him.
"What was with all of the clones standing with you?" He asked. I sighed.
"I don't want to explain." I said.
"No, I want answers." He said.
"As I said, no. Besides, what is your name?" I asked.
"My name is Muffin. I am Derpy's fault." He replied.
(What?)
"What?" I asked.
"Don't ask questions." He said.
"Well, my name is Stargazer, and I am Derpy's coltfriend." I said.
"Huh. Well, if you want to hang out sometime, my house is right there." He pointed to another small mountain in the distance. His house was sitting on top of it.
"Okay, I'll see you later, Muffin." I said, and I walked away. I went back home, grabbed my mailbag, and started my regular day with Derpy.
You know, I was going to commend you for taking steps to reduce your characters Gary stu-ness, But then this new chapter came out.
Now normally this is the point were I yell at you and other stuff, but lets just skip that.
Overall, this chapter made me laugh, so I'll give it a pass in the gary stu department.
As for long. While this chapter is the longest one so far, it's still pitifully small when compared to any other decent fan fiction. So yes, I would like all chapters to be this long.
Also, Don't add Draco without some revision. The guy gave me spasms just looking at him. Pick some non conflicting colours and and really decide on what his personality is going to be. If he's going to be a bad guy, please don't make him just another evil guy who's evil for the sake of being evil. Characterisation applies to all your characters.
If he's good than I guess I wasted my time, if not, then I hope you learn something. To give you a head start in the villain department. I'm going to ask you a few questions. If you can't answer any of these you should consider changing your bad guy.
1. What caused him to become evil? Pride? Fear? Anger? Any are good, hell, maybe it was love? or Honour. Every evil pony needs a reason.
2.What's his goal? What does he want to achieve?
3.What does he need to achieve this goal? Obviously if he wasn't searching for something to complete his goal it would already be done.
4.How does he act? Is he manipulative? Intimidating? Rich? What does he do to get what he wants?
5.What are his boundaries? What is the one thing he absolutely will not do under any circumstance?
6.What's his escape plan? Every good villain has one.
And finally 7. Does he have theme music?
Now that that's done, I hope you learned something about bad guys.
Extremely Tired, Slightly worried
Nazkan
223024
Yeah, I was planning on changing the colors, and no. He isn't a bad guy.
Did you have fun wasting your time?
Honestly? Yes.
I was really just trying to waste time so I have an excuse not to go to bed.
Still, I feel it was worth it.
223055
Yeah, it probably was.
BECAUSE DRACO'S FATHER IS THE BAD GUY!
HA!
That was stupid.
223204
Yeah, I know. I tried to make him as open-minded as Derpy, but with more...clever stupidity.
And yes, payback is indeed a bitch, but what does that have to do with Muffin in the first place?
Eh, doesn't matter, about to have sex.
...Wait...
GODDAMMIT! ME AND MY SPOILER MOUTH!
well then.....love this story still and also
WHY U NO ADD MY POV?!?!?!?!?!?
223910
Well, I woke up at three'o clock in the morn', so, I didn't really have time to do it.
There will be a scene entirely devoted to you, trust me.
223822
Yeah... The last time I got high, the air was so thin, I passed out.
223933
When I was a little colt, I was afraid of being at least five feet in the air if I could see the ground. My friend was even worse. I would just get a little worried, but me friend, he would break down into tears.
225284
Well, yes, that will be explained in the story later on.
It has something to do with Dr.Hooves.
He is not a depressed idiot, he is, in fact, going to be even more random than Pinkie Pie.
Stargazer got a catchphrase!
When in doubt, look at the stars. And if it is daytime, you're screwed.
Its supposed to mean something like,
When in doubt, look at the stars. If its daytime, don't try. You'll just blind yourself with the sun.
Wait, changing it.
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss...well... just don't miss.
Bitch, you mess with Rainbow dash I will pull the knife at you
"Hey Rainbow Dash, can you-" He stopped at the sight of me about to have sex with Rainbow Dash. His eye twitched once more, and a wicked smiled danced onto his face. That was the entirely opposite effect I was looking for. He pulled out a random knife from nowhere and lunged at me. Fuck! I dodged to the side and ran out the door. Oh god, this was a mistake, I need to find Stargazer fast!
More like I will fucking kill you and cut your fucking eyes and cut your skin off.
226015
You mess with the bull you get the horns, or for me its like
you mess with my wife, you get the knife
225970
That was Anger. His motto is,
I'd tap that.
226950
And if he touches Dash, He will get the sharp end of my knife
226019>>226027
Bitches, please.
Random Picture Time!
From now on, every chapter will have an RPT (Random Picture Time).
Things that are usually like... this!
e.asset.soup.io/asset/1313/9902_dc6a.jpeg
Do you think this should be in the story?
Do tell.
i have to.. *ahem* "do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man, do you know the muffin man whio lives on a freaking hill" *repeat until Muffin is incredibly annoyed*