A normal mare she was, just a mare named Fluttershy. She just wished that there would be a little more adventure in her life. What she didn't realize is that she would get more than what she wished for. Life was supposed to be normal, until she's confronted with a situation which will give her no other choice but to retreat towards the Everfree Forest. It was all a set-up, but for the better or for the worst? For a place that is filled with evil and monsters, is there a position for the timid Fluttershy? Watch, as this mare embarks on a journey to redeem not only herself, but to redeem the ones that have been forgotten. The ones in the Super Natural…
Chapters (2)
It's time for a buttload of grammar nazi!
*the only pony
The hell is a crock?
Thumbs can quack?
OR WAS IT???
2271930 I'm not giving up on this yet, I think of this as a learning experience. Just means I need to be more aware of what I type. I'll make the changes
It sounds...unfinished. In a way. Of course, if you plan further chapters that just might do it.
Other than that...maybe try explaining HOW Angel got his army so strong? Or how a 'typical day' for him looks like?
How about mixing Fluttershys normal day with Angels exciting one?
If you want to leave that creature in, why not add a little more description so you can guess what it could be?
Just suggestions, though.
2431633 I did feel like the chapter was unfinished even before I was half way through the editing process. I changed the settings around a bunch of times, yet I still had the same feel. I'm just planning my time at the moment but I feel as the story won't meet its peek till chapter 5 and beyond (the further the chapters go, I feel more into my realm). Thanks for the suggestions though
2433873
Hmm. First of all, thank you for answering.
And I'll gladly suggest more ideas in the future. Due to my work right now, I'm unable to write anything so I'm full of creative spirit. It needs an outlet sometimes.