Chapter 13: The Black Hoof's Reckoning
"Each of you have ten seconds to explain your actions." Celestia put bluntly as she marched across the line of quivering ponies. Only Rarity and Fluttershy were excluded from the teleport to Canterlot Castle, having, essentially, nothing to do with it. It was a good thing too, Fluttershy may have started bawling if she saw Celestia now. Even Pinkie looked frightened.
Celestia trotted up to the far side of the line, furthest away from Twilight. First was Applejack. Celestia stared at her expectantly.
"Uh, well, y'see Princess, ah'm, uh, sure you know b-bout our activities now and how we embarrass ponies when we're asked. An' ah'd-..."
"Time's up. Fancypants." Applejack breathed heavily and wiped her forehead. Celestia kept her menacing glare and looked at the stallion.
"And, erm, to expand on that, I'd like to say that we never harm anypony or accept a c-contract that we feel is unjust."
"You both seem to be forgetting the more important fact that Discord had escaped. Replacing his statue was a makeshift copy with the signatures of Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo."
All the Black Hoof members stuck their heads out of the line to offer angry glares at the three.
"What? We coulda got famous from how realistic it looked!" Apple Bloom whined, to which her sister desperately tried to hush.
"Pinkie Pie." Celestia addressed abruptly. Pinkie held her head down in shame, and spoke sadly.
"I admit it. I stole Discord. And kept him for so long in my basement. Leave everypony else out of it, banish me."
"Pinkie, that ain't fair!" Applejack said to her. "You do crazy stuff like this all the time! We coulda stopped you if we tried more, somehow we jus' didn't see the seriousness of it at the time."
"But I shouldn't of trusted him in the first place! Once a meanie-mean pants, always a meanie-mean pants."
They all turned to watch Celestia, who simply observed the conversation. Still no change in expression or stance. After a few seconds, she moved onto the next one.
"Zecora."
The zebra was amazingly calm, a strong posture being shown. "These funny acts I do not usually partake, the tater tots and potions are all I make. I still say I was pleased to assist, and even given a second chance, I would gladly re-enlist."
Twilight cringed as Zecora stood up for the Black Hoof. It was a very bold move, disagreeing with Celestia's intimidation. Twilight thought for sure the princess would have blew her up on the spot. Somehow.
But Celestia just nodded, and moved onto the next, getting closer and closer to Twilight, who was trembling next to Spike. Each clack of her hooves on the polished floors was a minor attack on Twilight's already unstable stomach. Celestia came next to the wall-eyed pegasus, and squinted her own in thought for some time.
"Derpy Hooves, is it? Ponyville's residential mail-mare?"
"Yes ma'am!" She gave a quick salute. She was more at ease than the others, but still had an uneasy smile on her face. She definitely understood the gravity of the situation, but attempted to keep a confident front.
"I believe my sister employs your services regularly. Moving on though, what do you have to say for yourself?"
"Well, I just deliver the mail! Y'know, the contracts and stuff. But Discord wanted every member in the big fight."
"Very well," Taking another step closer, she came to the three fillies again. "Do I need to ask? Cutie marks?"
They all answered, gloomily in synch. "Cutie marks."
"As expected." The last three were in her reach now, Rainbow Dash, Spike and then Twilight. "Rainbow Dash, you?"
"You can't tell me some ponies don't deserve what we give 'em." A brief outburst of brashness from her lead to Twilight cringing once again. The cyan pegasus soon realised her own folly though. "Sorry. I don't know what else to say. It's fun. Twilight knows all about that."
Twilight had the overpowering urge to shoot daggers at Rainbow for causing Celestia to look in her direction. Frozen in place by her mentor's focus. Right next to her now, she was talking to Spike.
Spike didn't seem able to rightly explain. "Erm..." He scratched his head and smiled nervously at the princess. "...What Rainbow said? I only got Twilight in, really." And once again, all focus was on the purple unicorn. All my hate, Spike. All my hate.
And then Celestia was in front of Twilight. Staring at her in silence. All the time she had spent in the Black Hoof lead up to this moment. She always thought about the consequences of what she was doing, what each action could cost her. She was a worrier, and rightly so, as now the ruler of the land was breaking down every fibre of her body, without doing a thing.
So much time to think about how she could of explained herself had she ever been discovered, and only speechlessness to show for it. She couldn't even sweat in anxiety, it was more just disappointment. Never would she have expected that they would be caught, despite how she always complained about it. For some reason, she thought everything would turn out right every time, as it had before.
But being dependant on forces outside her control was her weakness, and now it was stomping all over her.
"I... It was worth it."
WHAT?! Her brain screamed at her, and every sense that she had told her that arguing with the sun goddess was a terrible idea.
"Maybe not the Discord part, but if it was necessary in keeping the group together, he was worth hiding."
STOP. SPEAKING.
"As Rainbow said, it was fun. More fun than I've had in a while. I even ran out of words to describe what I was enjoying. Exhilarating, exciting, stimulating... They don't even come close."
HER: PRINCESS OF THE SUN. YOU: LIBRARIAN.
"Besides, Discord's defeated now. You should be happy we got him again, he was slowly escaping. Granted it was probably all the chaos that we were causing that broke him free, but sooner rather than later, right?"
IT'S LIKE YOU WANT TO DIE!
"So, I'm sorry, Princess, that you're upset with us, but now that it's over, I only want to get out there and throw another pie."
In a shock twist, Twilight had not yet been killed. Celestia regarded each word with the same expression of all the other ponies. And after letting everything out, the world was off Twilight's shoulders for a few relaxing moments. Until she decided to shrink into the ground, taking in the fact that she must now bear the fury of the sun.
Twilight looked up from the ground, and spotted Celestia... smiling?
Paused, closest to Twilight, she thought about her words with a distinct smirk.
"Hypothetical question, my student." Celestia said. The smile was completely unnerving Twilight, why is she smiling? She shouldn't be smiling, she should be banishing, bringing out the moon-cannon.
"Let us say, that there is an alicorn, in a very high position of authority." She took centre stage now, addressing the whole line of confused ponies. "And there is a pony, another fairly-important one, that doesn't particularly agree with Her means of governing the land."
The other ponies were catching on, but Twilight refused to believe that Celestia could even be suggesting such a thing.
"Hypothetical, remember." She winked at Twilight. "Allow us to also say, that they perform rallies, campaigning against Her methods."
She took a deep breath, and then spoke in a much more friendly manner. "What would the cost be to publicly disrupt one of these rallies, making sure that the leader is out of action for a while?"
The tension between everypony, zebra and dragon had ended. Everypony but Twilight, anyway.
"Hypothetically, of course," Fancypants started. "The group that would be willing to disrupt this should have adequate supplies, and any extra costs would be trivial to cover with minor change."
Even Pinkie understood. "And! All the planning would be easy! A location, a time and a date is all we- they need!"
"I see." The princess said to herself. "Maybe, the alicorn would be willing to offer accommodation, funding and official access to the palace. Maybe there would be another job for them after that, and maybe another. Taken at their own pace, and with the full support of Luna's Shadow Army."
"Maybe that would be awesome!" Rainbow Dash shouted, to which the others murmured in agreement.
As Celestia walked down the line of excited ponies, she 'accidently' spoke to certain individuals.
"The alchemy chamber would be ever-open, and free to use." Zecora's eyes widened.
"Twenty-four hour access to the royal kitchen, staff always at call to make the finest muffins, cakes... pies." Both Derpy and Pinkie salivated at the thought.
"Of course, the Canterlot library would be close at hand for the more studious of them." It was obvious who that was directed at.
"I think that group would be more than happy to help in such important matters." Fancypants said, and looked for approval from the others; receiving nods.
"Fun game, these hypotheticals." Celestia chuckled, and a flash of dark light appeared behind her. Once the magic had faded, Princess Luna stepped closer and greeted them all.
"Hello, once again, everypony. Sister, I trust your little act is over now?"
"For now. We were just discussing how the Black Hoof has become our go-to group for political disruptions."
"We were?" Scootaloo asked her two friends quietly, to which they both shrugged.
"T'will be a pleasure working with you all. My sister has, no doubt, made a number of enemies in the past."
"This is amazin', Princess! We seriously get your permission to do this stuff?" Applejack wondered.
"Of course. I have to say, ever since I read about that Manehattan destruction my interest has grown for your group. Very intriguing, indeed." Celestia said. The Black Hoof began moving around more freely, exploring the wonders that the shimmering throne room held.
"However," Luna said. "Officially, you shall not exist. The royal guard and staff will deny any involvement, no matter how many know you are real or not. It could prove useful to recruit your other two friends to this cause, as well. Fluttershy and Rarity?"
"I'm sure Rarity could mess around with the outfits a bit." Rainbow Dash said. "As for Fluttershy... I think an army of birds would be pretty cool!"
"You hear that, Twilight?" Fancypants came up to her and asked. "Government-endorsed. My, how we have grown. Isn't it wonderful?"
Twilight couldn't think correctly. So much had just happened. The thing she feared the most, being discovered, turned out to help them more than ever before. Furthermore, she would actually get to enjoy working with Black Hoof without intimidation from authorities. More trips to Canterlot meant that she could talk to the princesses more, as well as her parents. But still, one question plagued her mind.
"Fancypants?" She asked.
"Yes?"
"Why is it that everypony couldn't care less about how absurd this whole thing is? This entire situation is silly. We've managed, through throwing pies, to become some kind of organisation that is feared. Actually feared by ponies. I don't understand how everypony accepts it as it is, doesn't poke any further and simply puts up with the craziness. It isn't normal."
"My dear, normality is overrated. When one calls themselves normal, they also deny the independence they are entitled to."
"Yep!" Pinkie cheered. "There's no fun in being normal, else what makes you different from everypony?"
"But then, who sets the standard? What is average?" She pondered back a reply.
"Maybe 'normal'," Celestia started. "Doesn't exist. You can't go through your life adapting to different barriers, Twilight. You need to be unique, special. You already are. Everypony has differing thoughts, activities and secrets which define them."
"Even you, Princess?" Twilight said.
"Of course..." Celestia then noticed that everypony was thinking about her possible secrets. "But Luna has bigger ones!" She quickly blurted out.
"Wait, what?" Luna suddenly turned on her sister. "Don't you dare, 'Tia!"
Celestia shot a hoof at her and spoke rapidly. "Luna still sleeps with Mr. Snuggles!"
"DAMMIT, YOU PROMISED!" Luna instantly lifted up Pinkie's cloak and telekinetically lifted out the two pies she had stashed under there. She launched them at her sister, one hitting her side and the other hitting her face. Celestia shook of the crumbs and cream, before retaliating.
Magically opening the doors behind her, she brought out dozens of the pies from the royal kitchen. It was as if she had this moment prepared. Within seconds, the, supposedly qualified, rulers of Equestria were engaged in a royal food fight.
Pinkie must have somehow convinced the others to join, as now Clairifiers, tots and pies alike were flying through the air. There was no mercy in this throne room, or sensibility. The guards watched on, entertained and puzzled.
The Black Hoof could now prosper. With government backing, the secret organisation would grow even more infamous, as well as respected by many. New recruits, inventions and targets ahoy!
A week later, Pinkie's basement's contents were all moved into the Black Hoof's very own section of Canterlot Castle. The base was up and running, and somehow, still kept that quaint underground charm to it.
Twilight was reading in one of the many cosy sections of their new headquarters, undisturbed. Without Discord, things were much more peaceful.
Black Hoof members came in and out. Zecora was taken by the alchemist labs, regularly visiting. Fancypants lived in Canterlot anyway, so it was mere convenience that brought him back, and finally having the chance to improve the Clairifiers. Derpy had more jobs with Luna, and always stopped by to deliver the simpler contracts. It gave the others more reasons to visit Canterlot, Twilight and her friends stayed for days at a time in the expensive new safe-house.
"Twilight!" Pinkie shouted, bringing her out of her concentration. "We got a new contract!"
"Great! Who's going?"
"Well, I think we need a vacation... so... ALL OF US!"
"Huh? How? What is it? Where is it?"
"The princesses don't like the prime minister of Trottingham anymore!"
"So... we're going to Trottingham?"
"ROAD TRIP!"
Author's Notes:
Well, there it is, my first fanfiction.
Ah, it seems like only yesterday I released the first chapter with all my notes still in it. Thanks for keeping that a secret by the way, haha.
Never-ending gratitude to all of you who followed this and supported it, I've really seen how much my writing's progressed, and at some point I'll probably revise the start for a potential sequel. You never know. Not yet, though.
It'd be great to see a parting comment from any of you as I bring this story to a close, as well as a rate!
Thank you all!
Ryan.
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And pointless comment down here, anyway!
I hope you all enjoyed it, it was a pleasure to write. Mainly Fancypants. But yeah, you all know that.
I finally don't have a deadline to cope with, which I kind of set up for myself, but still. I'm looking forward to making some progress on my new stories, as well as getting back to reading which I haven't managed to do in so long. Allow me to leave you with a song to thank you all. Song!
Hey, I like it.
There isn't much that warrants the use of the below GIF, but dat royal food fight deserves it!
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1174_S3rlk.gif
Edit: A sequel would be greatly appreciated, so please think it over?
558153
I would be surprised if I didn't make a sequel, I have an interesting plot thingy and everything! Just taking a break for now.
Thanks for the comment!
My one regret is that I can only favorite this once.
You shall now be stalk- I mean, watched with anticipation for your next great fic. Keep up the good work.
558492
Well, you could always create, like, five more accounts. Haha! No, that'd make me feel terrible.
A-thank-you very much!
Just...awesome. This was just an awesome story all around.
As sad as I am to see it come to a close 
I certainly look forward to seeing what you come up with in your future endeavors. 
And if/when a sequel happens, I'll be there in a heartbeat.
561426
Glad to have you aboard the crazy train! Thanks for all your support.
I plan on patenting the Clairifier, which is why I constantly capitalize it- feel free to purchase some shares in it's future business ahead of time.
558108 HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA. Dat song!
You got me there. 
An AWESOME ending, leaves room for a sequel! OH HOORAY!
I just love the idea of this so much.
You. Need. To. Write. MOAR. NAO.
NAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Um... If that's okay with you.
ANYWAY, good chapter.
img192.imageshack.us/img192/9707/winawards.png
567082
Epic comment is epic!
I sound like a broken record, but thank you once again, for all this.
And don't worry, all sorts of stupidly impulsive ideas for stories are forming. Havin' a laugh with the writing!
(Also, possibly, last!)
567636
Epic story is epic!
It deserves a pic.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/034/709/win5.jpg
Have a good day.
569243
This internet shall be invested into a good cause. Probably more ponies.
569721
571679
Yes ma'ams!
572624
But Ah want your writing NAOOOOOOO!
Mother of God...
I'm reading this later when I have time so that I can just barrel through it all in one sitting.
It's going to be amazing.
It's the crossover that I have ONLY DREAMED OF.
608110
OH GOD, NO, EXPECTATIONS!
Haha, I wish I would get off my arse and revise the earlier chapters, as being my first fic I saw them as pretty bad, but hopefully you can bare them- thanks!
930384 I know, right?
This is awesome, the black cloaked pie avengers deserve a sequel, no doubt about it.
1175811
Well thank you! I really want to renovate this story before I even think about the sequel though.
I can't even... What do I... How can...
...I can't even begin to think of having the possibility of explaining how awesome this is cross my mind...
...You deserve every good thing you get and then some.
...I've played through Skyrim with passion and the Dark Brotherhood missions have always been great fun. This though, this had me laughing so hard, for so long, that I'm certain I now have a limp and a permanent smirk on my face.
Well done, and I hope to see more adventures of the Brotherhoof sometime in the future. Meanwhile, It's back to Tamriel for me, I have Master Class Mage Spells to learn.
Best fic I've read in a while. Definitely a fave.
This is Perfect, I was Having trouble coming up with a Side quest for an RP I'm running, and this fits the bill of my players tastes.
I cant wait to see how my players react when they are Hired to Pie the leader of the Empire.