The Dark Brotherhoof

by CelestialScribe

Chapter 11: Marshmallows & Trees

Twilight awoke to the disturbance of the train as it rocked side to side. She rubbed her eyes gently and rose from the cold flooring. It was still in the very early hours of the morning, it couldn't be much past midnight. The sheet of stars still illuminated Equestria, but now a chill was being carried in the wind. Only a few hours till they reached Ponyville.

She saw Applejack still asleep, her hat covering her face and her cloak providing a blanket for her. During the rush of escaping, Twilight hadn't noticed the train's actual cargo. They were fortunate enough to have an empty freight deck to stow away on, but ahead were large shipments of merchandise and materials. Green boxes upon more green boxes were laden across every train cart in front of them. It was probably how the drivers didn't notice the havoc they caused fleeing.

Chocolate wind spells. Really? Twilight wasn't too sure whether to be happy or not that she had uncovered this spell. It was pointless, but so was number twenty-five, to be honest. Maybe Pinkie would get a kick out of it.

The train's pace slowed and the rocking ceased. With nothing else to do, Twilight lay back down and stared into the sea of stars. I should have brought a book with me. She studied the various constellations and mapped the stars out in her mind, a soothing moment for her that was much more preferable to dodging angry security guards. Maybe I'll hold off on any new contracts. For now.

The sun suddenly burst into Twilight's vision. Equestria was flooded with light and the unicorn shielded her eyes from it's blinding beams. It left her with a stinging sensation as she looked across the horizon, the sun was in the middle of the sky. The stunned unicorn rubbed her eyes, twice, in disbelief. Day had just broke through. At midnight.

"Applejack! Get up!" Twilight urged as she shook her awake.

The cowpony raised a hoof to the hat over her face and lifted it. With the other she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked around. "Hoo-ey! I sure did sleep a while, huh?" Applejack thought to herself for a moment. "Weren't we 'sposed to be back like...twelve hours ago?"

"The sun! It just rose! In the middle of the night! Well, not the middle...but still!" Both mares shared the same thought at that moment, but Applejack refused to acknowledge it. She didn't want to think about the obvious culprit, and instead, danced around the situation.

"Maybe... Princess Celestia took some cider a little too far?" Trying to offer a joking smile from Twilight, she received a destructive glare, indicating that now was not the time.

As if to support Twilight, the moon then replaced the sun. The darkness and the stars hastily returned, shadowing across the land.

"And, er... Luna too?" The orange pony tried to block the words from coming out, but it was too late. Twilight shot her a menacing stare, eager to reply back, but was interrupted when Applejack sighed and looked down. "Discord?"

"Discord."

---

"Hurry up! HURRY UP!" Twilight paced across the train anxiously as Ponyville came into view. In the antagonisingly long two hours that followed, the chocolate rain began, trees started floating, grass began eating cows, and a convoy of giant grapes rolled alongside the train. They weren't even in the 'Chaos Capital of Equestria' yet.

There it was, the black and white flooring. As the many landmarks of Ponyville came into sight- Sugarcube Corner, the Carousel Boutique- the ground became checkered. The train tracks then took a sharp decline, and propelled the it into an abyss of melted cheese. Afterwards, it rose up, covered in the sticky yellow substance, with the two exposed ponies stuck in place. The fixed scowls didn't change as Twilight magicked it away from them both.

The train, however, was too clogged to continue. It's wheels halted as the cheese clung on, leaving them just short of Ponyville. The two mares jumped off and darted towards the, now upside-down, town. The moon and sun kept their frequent rotations, and the ever-changing landscape swirled with multi-coloured variations of crazy.

The once-beautiful rainbow factory of Cloudsdale could now be seen spewing forth a brown sludge, and a mysterious pipeline was connecting them to the Ponyville waste treatment plant.

The buildings had turned upright again, but now had changed into shapes depicting letters, animals and even came alive. Houses got up on two legs and walked off. The train then zoomed past them, and flew. It shot off into the air with massive white wings, dropping its cargo which was now just pizza. Hopefully the drivers were alright.

"Oofph!" Twilight turned around to the sound of Applejack's groan to see her lodged inside a cloud of cotton candy. "Little help here, Sugarcube? Cotton Candy's a mite heavy, 'pparently." She struggled with her hooves fruitlessly.

"Did that just fall from the...-AH!" Twilight was then engulfed by another cloud of pink fluff as she looked up. Her head popping out of one side, she ate her way to freedom. "I hate Discord so much."

Applejack stifled a laugh as Twilight, again, flashed away the barricades of pink. "Don't tell me you're enjoying this."

"'Course not, Discord's just a funny guy, is all."

"Argh! Why does everypony defend him?! I knew I should have reported him as soon as I found him! Now he's trying to take over Equestria! Again!" She growled in frustration. "If we didn't keep him in the first place, none of this would be happening! Now everypony is going to know!"

"Look, ah agree that we probably shouldn't a' had him in the first place, but as far as super-villains go, at least he ain't tryin' to hurt us. As for everypony findin' out, ah guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

Twilight sighed in defeat. "Sure, but how are we going to defeat him this time? He's probably hidden the elements of harmony! Again..."

"We'll figure somethin' out, we always have. Knowin' Discord, it'll probably be a game of some sort."

---

Ponyville's terrain had been a jumbled mish-mash of different coloured tiles and slopes, but thankfully, the library was still standing. The journey there had been eventful, but not even monster marshmallows or screaming apples could slow them down. Her other four friends were waiting outside her tree-house.

"Twilight! Applejack! Finally! We've been... what's with the... costumes?" Rarity was the first to greet the tired ponies.

"And where have you been?" Fluttershy added quietly.

"Oh! Er, these are...we, erm..." Why didn't I take it off?! "...just..."

She looked at her friends worriedly, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie were stood behind Fluttershy and Rarity. Rainbow shrugged whereas Pinkie made a motion of zipping her mouth closed with a hoof.

Applejack provided a simple solution for her, "You'll find out eventually, for now, where's Discord?"

A deep, powerful voice answered, sending reverberations through the ground after each pause it took. "He told me, to tell you, he'll be here soon."

The five ponies looked around for the response while Fluttershy hid in a nearby bush from the intimidating voice. After finding nothing, Applejack called out to it. "Er, hello? Who said that?"

Another booming vibration shook, coming from the direction of Twilight's home. "Me."

Rainbow turned to Twilight and asked, "Did your tree just speak?"

It answered for her. "Yep."

"O...k then..."

"Hi tree! I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?" The party pony inquired, bouncing around the ominous, brown character.

"John." The leaves shook as it spoke, and Pinkie fell over from the volume of it's response.

Fluttershy abruptly jumped out of the bush and inquired, "What's it like being a tree?"

While Rainbow, Twilight, Rarity and Applejack exchanged confused glances, Fluttershy seemed too curious to care and Pinkie was too busy being herself to take in the fact that a tree was talking to them.

"Meh. It feels a bit... hollow." Out from nowhere, Pinkie pulled a small drum kit, and played a 'ba dum tis', before laughing explosively.

"Right... because you're a tree... and I live inside you...funny." Twilight rubbed her eyes with her hooves, cringing from the terrible pun. The other ponies attempted to pull off polite laughs, but Pinkie more than made up for it.

"Thanks." John said. "I'm thinking about trying stand-up. Then again, can't do much else as a tree." It spoke as one would expect a tree to, slowly and monotonously.

"Yeah..." Twilight felt a tinge of sympathy for the great tree. "Well, I'm sorry about all the times you've been demolished by me and my friends."

"It's cool. You brought Dave around once."

"Dave?"

"When you were having a sleepover, and you pulled the neighbour tree inside. That was Dave. He's a funny guy."

"Oh. Sure." Twilight ended the conversation awkwardly, leaving silence as the six ponies sat around John and waited for something to happen. Discord showing up would be a great relief to the tension that was felt in the air. But nothing, just silence, scarcely interrupted by a flying pig squeal every now and then.

So, my house has a personality? Or is it a temporary Discord trick? Either way, she was going to try and take further care of it now. John seemed like a nice guy. Do trees have genders?

Rainbow Dash then yelled out of the blue after a minute of quiet. "Is it just me, or is this REALLY creepy?"

"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity scolded. She directed at John. "Sorry about her, but it is rather strange to be talking to my friend's house. Nevertheless, you seem like a lovely tree."

"I'm just saying! Shouldn't we be looking for the elements or something?"

A tornado of chocolate rain then swirled around the tree, and on top of it appeared Discord. His scaly red tail wrapped around a giant cloud of cotton candy as he took a large slurp of it's contents. His strange goat head then poked through it and created a cotton candy necklace.

"Oh, no, no, no! Where's the fun in using the elements! Besides, isn't that getting a little old?" Discord created a soap skating rink around the ponies as he began gliding through them.

"Discord! I knew we shouldn't have trusted you!" Twilight said fiercely.

Both Rarity and Fluttershy made confused noises, but were cut off by Discord speaking again.

"Hey! It's not like I chose to escape! It just happened! I said I was fine but nooo, a crack straight down the middle. Now I'm free and I have your amazing group to thank!" Discord clapped his hands and confetti appeared from nowhere, showering the puzzled ponies and causing Pinkie to celebrate.

"Twilight, what is he talking about? Your group?" Rarity questioned as she and Fluttershy came closer, being the only ponies who weren't involved in some way.

"OH! You mean you haven't told them yet?! Perfect!" Discord summoned a huge box of popcorn and a couch to watch the spectacle. Pinkie jumped up next to him and stole some.

"Well, you were bound to find out anyway now." Twilight said.

"Rarity, you remember when Blueblood was embarrassed at that charity thing?" Applejack explained.

"Oh! How could I forget? The look on his stupid, soaking face! That was the best possible thing!" Rarity said cheerfully, momentarily forgetting the situation they were in.

"That was me and Twilight!" Rainbow said pridefully. "We did that!"

Rarity at first looked surprised, but then shone a huge smile and hugged the unicorn and pegasus. "Thank you so much! You have NO IDEA how entertaining that was!" After releasing them from her grasp, she asked them, "So, are all of you part of the Black Hoof?"

"Um, what's the Black Hoof?" Fluttershy finally said.

"We throw pies at people!" Pinkie shouted from her seat on the couch.

Discord patted her on the head and made the chair vanish, leaving her to fall on her rump. "And a mighty good job you all do of that! Which is why I've arranged a little game for you all." He touched his fingers to his paw and smirked.

Applejack nudged Twilight's side and whispered, "Told ya'."

"I have to say I am very taken by your weaponry." Discord clicked his fingers and stacks of Clarifier's fell from the sky. Following that were hundreds of tater tots, cider bombs and apple pies. "They're perfect for a little... chaos."

He clicked his fingers again and three ponies fell from the sky. The trio of fillies landed in a mix of positions, already dressed in the black hoof miniature cloaks. "Ow." Scootaloo whined, falling first and being bombarded by the other two on top of her.

"Hey Applebloom." Applejack said simply, to which came a muffled response from behind the bandana.

"Sweetie Belle?!" Rarity said, shocked. "You're a part of this!?"

"Oh, er, yeah, please don't be mad!" The small white unicorn squeaked.

"How could I be mad? It's such a brilliant hobby!" She ran up and hugged her sister, pulling her from the pile.

"Really? But, what about all the uncouth icky-ness?"

"A bit of 'icky-ness' never hurt anypony. Except pompous, inconsiderate jerks." She replied, and Discord clicked his fingers again.

Now, two more ponies and a zebra appeared, this time not falling.

A blue-maned stallion was talking to himself behind a sheet of papers he was reading, wearing formal attire. "And that's why fiscal records show that if you expand into our...company...the..." Fancypants looked around the insane new Ponyville and dropped his papers. "This isn't Fillydelphia." He looked around the group of ponies and the draconequues. "And you aren't the board of directors. Oh, hello Discord."

"Hey Fancypants, enjoying the view? How's Fleur?" Discord replied, relaxing mid-air on a cloud.

"She's fine. More importantly, what in Equestria is going on?"

"You mean New Discordia." He corrected.

Meanwhile, a grey pegasus was lodged inside a colossal muffin, head poking out the top, watching the ponies happily. "Hey guys! I'm a muffin!" Seeing her friend's predicament, Rainbow Dash flew over to Derpy and lifted her out. "Aww." She moped, but then went to eating the rest of the muffin with glee.

Zecora stood as dumbfounded as the rest, holding on to two vials. "How did I come to teleport here? And why are things looking so queer?" She saw the draconequues above. "Ah, the chaos master has arrived, I wonder, this time, will you thrive?"

"Ah, Zecora, I missed your riddles. You really should stop by the basement more often." He clapped his hands, and the Black Hoof members who were not cloaked, became. "Now that the gang's all here, we can really start the party!"

Laughing maniacally, he spread out the weapons. Walls rose up, and an arena was created. "Lock and load everypony!"

Comments

[CelestialScribe]

Why do I post at ridiculous times? The only time I get things done on Fimfiction appears to be at two o'clock in the morning. Anyway, I took the crazy angle and am incredibly glad I did. Discord is best draconequues. I might have deleted the 'feedback chapter' a little too quick, but I know how everything's going to roll.

Thanks for le support!

[Rutilus.Luna]

I am really happy to see this continue with the crazy angle. Looks like it is going to be a lot of fun.

[Purple Thunder]

When I saw this I was like

"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!"

And also, amazing chapter. Loved the part with John.