(13) - It Hurt Itself in its Confusion!
A Pokemon Problem
(13) - It Hurt Itself in its Confusion!
"I guess I'll just have to deal with you myself," Captain Waffles said, stepping closer towards me. I feebly tried to smack him with one of my oversized arms, but he easily sidestepped away.
With a sharp intake of breath, he flew into the air, flapped his wings a few times to get extra height, then dropped down onto my midsection, his entire body weight, power, and momentum concentrated on one of his hooves.
Have you ever accidently kicked a cinderblock, or something equally as hard? It hurts, doesn't it? Well, imagine that you were angry at aforementioned object, and you purposely tried to kick it, with every ounce of power you had. You might have momentum and emotion on your side, but when a force meets and immovable object, the object wins. I was that immovable object.
I heard his hoof crack and shatter, along with the roar of pain that followed. Captain Waffles let out a plethora of curses that would've made a sailor wince as he rolled on the snowy ground, causing powder to stick to his feathers and make him look like a fallen, waffle-coloured angel as he writhed in pain. I winced when I saw the bloody remains of his front, right-side hoof.
Let that be a lesson: always make sure you know what something is before you attempt to Falcon Kick something with all your might.
With Captain Waffles dealt with, or rather, him dealing with himself, I had all the time in the world to get back on my metaphorical feet and get to hovering again. When I finally had the whole floating thing down once more, I looked out and surveyed my surroundings.
From the large crater that was already there, to the one I had just created, all of the Pegasi were still out for the count, with the exception of two. Those two exceptions were on a B-line straight towards me, but I knew that they weren't hostile; quite the opposite, in fact. I held my aching head with one claw (my headache had returned, almost twofold compared to what it felt like after using Take Down the first time) and met them halfway, lowering myself to eye level.
I already knew who they were: Riptide and Undertow, the two Pegasi who were the only ones that didn't act like complete asshats to my friends and I. They looked a bit shaken and frazzled, but seemed otherwise hunky-dory.
Riptide was the colour of deep water: a specific tone of teal that seemed to get lighter and darker under certain situations. Her mane was short (it barely fell down past her head) and was a burnt orange colour, the very same that you'd see in the water as the Sun set behind it. She looked at me with a combination of nervousness and curiosity.
Undertow, however, was a stark contrast to his sister: where she was all flare and colour, he was placid and neutral. His coat was the colour of beach sand, an off-white, (which blended in very well with the snow) while his buzz-cut style mane was a clean blonde. He looked at me calmly and nodded almost imperceptibly.
Their thoughts were running, but they were cohesive at least: most of them were either considering what to say first to me, or what the future held in store for them. I decided to break the ice (oh God why) by thinking the first thing that came to mind.
"Uhh... hello. How are you two today?"
The look on their faces was priceless: they looked like a giant metal object just telepathically talked to them—
Ahem. I suppose that would be awfully unsettling, wouldn't it?
They looked at each other, wide-eyed, before Riptide answered. "...Hi. We're, umm, doing... fine?" Undertow nudged her with a wing. "Oh, I-uh, mean... we're doing great! Yeah! Just dandy."
I placed my right grasper over one of my eyes and slowly dragged it downwards. Evidently, the motion translated.
"What I mean to say is... thanks." Undertow nudged Riptide again. "Quit it!" she barked. "This is hard, alright? I don't know what this thing is, or what it wants, and it just asked us 'how we were!' How the hay am I supposed to respond?!"
"You can start by not speaking like I'm not here," I thought dryly. "I can understand your every word." I purposely neglected to mention that I could hear their thoughts as well: I was pretty sure that they wouldn't take kindly to that.
If anything, that made their eyes grow even larger. This time, Undertow replied in his token, placating voice. "I apologize for my sister and I. We didn't expect you to understand us, let alone speak our language. My name is Under—"
"I know who you both are," I interrupted, "and I know where you're coming from with the whole 'big metal thing speaks our language' deal." I was pretty sure that the only reason I could understand them, and they me, was partially because I was a freakin' sentient computer, and because our thoughts were similar enough to translate effectively.
Undertow looked at me like I had turned into a giant cactus while Riptide blinked repeatedly, her mouth hanging slightly open.
What was with these ponies? I decided to ask.
"...Is there something wrong?"
They each looked at the other, raised an eyebrow, then turned back towards me. "You don't... talk like I thought you would," answered Riptide. "For a... whatever it is you are—"
"Metang. I'm a Metang."
"—for a Metang (she pronounced it Ma-tang, rather than Meh-tang), you speak like... well, like a pony."
"I try."
Undertow opened his mouth to respond, but was forced to close it and jump back in surprise when a purple, triangular Ghost flew out of the icy ground between us.
"Holy crap, dude! You wouldn't believe what happened to me after you—"
The Haunter froze, his unattached limbs hovering at his sides, and his facial expression changing from one of joy to one of are-you-fucking-kidding-me.
I cackled inwardly: it seemed that I wasn't the only one to evolve recently.
It has been brought to my attention that some people may want to use the universe that I've created for their own stories and adventures. I have this to say:
Seriously. Go nuts. Just be sure to check the story with me before posting, and try not to bring any ridiculously overpowered Pokemon in, would ya?
Damn, Haunter! You scary!
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Cool, you update just as I check my favorites.
hilarious
2443209 Danm it you beat me
2443221Lol.
2443227 ill get you for this and your little dog too
No, I will post ridiculously OP Pokemon. I AM LORD ARCEUS! BOW DOWN BEFORE YOUR CREATOR!
2443236Why do I get the feeling that I should know what you're referencing?.. Oh, Scooby Doo. That's it.
keep calm and go nuts ....
NDISVNOSDNBIPSKMNBPIJBIKNAPNHBIPSESPDGPBS0PEHMGOERUSJGVOPSNGHOSJPBNOIHBOISEBJOSIHBIENBIORHBW0INSBIPNRWHOGHJVNWPHNJOEUJSTGOPSNJOEJB
sorry randomness
2443209
sames
2443240 you sir/madam have discusted me. its the wizard of oz the wicked witch
2443261Well sorry, but it sounds like the stereotypical spiel from the villains of Scooby Doo. Also, I haven't watched The Wizard of Oz. I've seen snippets of it, and of course parodies, but never the real thing.
2443268 the scooby doo is i would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids
2443281True enough, but they also say 'and your meddling dog'. The dog part snagged my thought process.
2443304 fair enough
Black/White
It is formed by two Beldum joining together. Its steel body won't be scratched if it collides with a jet.
...I don't think Captain Waffles, protector of breakfast, would have acted the way he did knowing this.
I lol'ed! Great job with this chapter! :D
I hope they don't forget Swinub who's still in the pit.
I would, but I'm already in my own universe, as you know, so I have to decline. X3 Thanks for the offer, though! Love the more constant updates! If you follow mine, I'll have a 'fluff' chapter up soon, since it needs to happen eventually, so I figured that while I wait for all of the commissions for the fic to come in, now would be a good time for said fluff, so that it doesn't seem like as long of a wait.
I want to see a shirt that says "Keep Calm and HOLY SHIT NINJAS!" or "Keep Calm and NOW IS THE TIME TO PANIC!"
This keeps gettin better and better!
I demand a Haunter used Mean Look scene.
Like, now.
I fucking LOVE Haunter!
I might take you up on the offer of writing within this universe....as soon as i get my butt in gear on my other story. now what generation to use.
2443650
Omg have you seen the comic where haunter uses mean look and he's just flicking off the other pokemon?
2444171
Thats EXACTLY what I'm talking about.
2443650
I'm guessing you have. static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Haunter_22b91c_2472894.jpg
Don't bring in ridiculousness OP Pokemon.... *Main character will one day be goddamn Metagross, friends so far will evolve into a Gengar and a Mamoswine...*
Yep, good rule...
Anyway, I like this story it's awesome so what ever people write into you're universe can't possibly be bad... Could it?
2444212
By that I was mainly referring to Legendary Pokemon.
Go nuts on the story.
2443487 I would order one of each... for each of my friends xD Their cash, o'course.
Hrmm... wasn't planning on writing a FiMFic at any stage... but you have intrigued me... Weirdly I already know what Pokemon I'd be.
I really really really hope that Haunter doesn't evolve anymore. It's the coolest ghost ever and looks way better than a stupid Gengar.
2445379 I couldn't agree more. I much prefer Haunter to Gengar.
Hmm... IDEA!!!!!
Cobaloin, Terrakion, and Virzion band toether to raise a baby pokemon, me, a Ponyta.I do not look like a normal ponyta. Virizion says I am a shiny Ponyta. I am black instead of white, and my mane and tail is purple and white. One day, near the glen we called home, I came across a battle ragging between my guardians, Palkia, and a big pokemon I had never seen before. When the big pokemon saw me, it tried to attack me. Palkia opened a portal, but the portal was hit by the big pokemons Dark Pulse as I went through. Instead of coming out in the forest I knew, I came out in a strange new place filled with creatures like me. These creatures are not pokemon. I can't understand them, and I'm sure they don't understand me.
Now I'm going to write!
2445813
Gengar looks like a creeper (Minecraft one) mixed with a pedophile. Haunter's just freaking cool looking.
Still, Gengar's powerful...
2447922 I don't think so. See, spell check doesn't accept damnit, but it does dammit, so I think it's clear which one is technically accurate. Just become parts of society deem it 'alright' to spell it damnit instead doesn't make it correct by technical terms. I'm a pre-reader, okay? It's what I do. I appreciate your attempt to correct and educate me in 'slang', but 'slang' isn't for professional writing, which is what any writing that is published should strive to be. Dammit has been the correct spelling since roughly 1908.
Long story short, it's all about how it's said that determines how it's spelled. If it's a short, quick curse, then it's just dammit. If it's a slower, more deliberate curse, then it's spelled out fully to show it, ergo damn it! When you read damn it, there's a slight pause, an emphasis on the (mostly) silent n, whereas the quick dammit hides the n because it isn't pronounced at all. In other words, the only correct two ways of spelling it are damn it, and dammit, based on how you want the audience to read and interpret how the curse was said. The more you know!
Urk. No chapter today, but will attempt to write two tomorrow. Damn, but it's hard to type on my phone :/
2448057
Huh. You're right. Only the one's in the dictionary. Coming from a more descriptive than prescriptive approach, I sometimes miss things like that.
However, I do take objection to slang not being used in professional writing. It's usually acceptable when writing from a character's perspective or dialogue for a character. I refer to the word itself here, however, not its spelling. Thus, I assume that I'm not actually disagreeing with you (also, hence your use of quotation around the word 'slang').
>-try not to bring any ridiculously overpowered Pokemon in, would ya?
Says the writer with Metagross, Genger and Mamoswine in his story?
Like I said in a past chapter, I'm not good at names. However, there is a very small water type pokemon that is incredibly cute in the first form, and resembles a snail. Also, add a wailord.
You missed the perfect opportunity to say 'Waffle Kick'. D:
3286564
I think you mean Gengar.