(14) - Escape
A Pokemon Problem
(14) - Escape
"Nice to see you too, Ryder," I thought, directing my brain waves towards Ryder and Ryder alone. I wasn't sure if I could actually manage that, but given the fact that the pegasus twins didn't react (except for cowering a little, but that was to be expected), I must've done a half-decent job. "How'd you manage to evolve?"
Ryder paused for a few seconds, one of his hands stroking an imaginary beard. "This may sound strange—"
"Somehow I doubt that."
"—but I evolved after scaring the crap out of one of the pegasus guards that was up on one of the peaks over there." He pointed a hand eastward. "I was going to Lick the guard to make your escape as easy as possible, but it turned around just before I could. It screamed, then fell down the mountain like a snowball before it managed to fly out of it. Man, you should've seen its face! But anyway, after that, I started glowing white and—"
"You evolved into a Haunter, which hurt like hell, right?" I finished.
Ryder nodded. After floating around my entirety, a hand ponderously placed beneath his chin like he was examining some fine art, he asked, "So... how'd you evolve?"
If I still had flesh and blood, I'm sure it would've drained from my face. "I don't want to talk about it," I muttered.
"Don't want to talk about what?" asked Riptide, who was twisting her neck between Ryder and myself, unsure of who she should be watching.
Crap. I must've neglected to keep my conversation private for the last bit.
"Never mind. Undertow, Riptide—this purple, triangular thing is my friend. He won't hurt you, and I doubt that you could hurt him," I thought, directing my words to everyone present and motioning to both parties. "Ryder, these are the only Pegasi that didn't act like complete and utter dickwads to Seth and I."
Riptide made a strange, curtsy-like gesture while Undertow gave a rough salute. Ryder gave me a mean look.
"Be nice," I ordered, directing my thoughts to Ryder. Sighing, Ryder floated closer with a hand outstretched and attempted to shake their hooves. The motion didn't translate so well, and Ryder was left floating, sullen and unamused.
"Stupid ponies," he grumbled. "Won't even accept a handshake..."
"To be fair, your hand was quite far from your body. Oh yeah, also, you're a freakin' ghost, Ryder. You're scary!"
"Yeah, yeah. What are they, twins?"
"I think so: they seem to finish each other's sentences."
Ryder nodded. After looking around, he asked, "Hey, where's Seth?"
"Probably still in that hole over there." I pointed behind me. "It was the safest spot for him to be in. Hell, if he was out and about after I dropped all those Pegasi—" I motioned with my arm to the ponies cradling their heads and mumbling quiet nothings, "—he probably would've been crushed."
"Fair enough. I'm going to go check on him," replied Ryder as he soared overhead in the direction of the Pit.
With the Haunter gone, the relief on the pegasus twin's faces was extremely palpable. I let them murmur to each other for a little while before asking my next question.
"What are all of you Pegasi doing up here?"
"Hiding."
"Fleeing."
They both answered at the same time. Undertow continued. "We are the remnants of the Third Pegasi Legion, previously under control of Stormfeather the Fierce, the King of Brumesvale."
"We're in hiding," Riptide added, "because the Captain refused orders to assist the unicorns in their Range against the marauding diamond dogs. King Stormfeather discovered this, and we've been fleeing ever since." She paused before adding, "The Captain, along with his lieutenant, Spear, are extremely phobic of anything that isn't a pegasus—were extremely phobic."
She attempted to hide her smile with a cough, but it didn't pass me by.
This news was revolutionary: I'd never once heard of any of these factions or places. The strangest part had to be 'King Stormfeather,' because I was pretty sure that Celestia wouldn't be happy to hear about that.
I withdrew into my thoughts and pondered this newfound information.
Shouldn't Celestia, or one of the other princesses have dealt with this renegade Legion by now? Wait, why were the Pegasi going in the first place? To help 'the unicorns in their Range against the marauding diamond dogs?' Why would they need the help of Pegasi? And why was it 'their Range?' Couldn't anypony live where he or she wanted? My mind started reeling, grasping at all the possibilities. Some were extremely unrealistic, but others were dangerously applicable.
I had to ask a question to garner a full understanding of the situation we were in.
"Where is Princess Luna?"
The Pegasi shared a look. "It is considered bad luck to speak the Nightmare's former name," replied Undertow. "But to answer your question: she is trapped on the surface of the Moon, and will hopefully remain there for eternity." I dropped to the earth with a resounding thud, spraying both Pegasi with snow and sleet.
I was in the wrong time period. Several hundred years off, if what Undertow had said was true—but there seemed to be no reason why he'd lie. I slammed an arm into the ground in anger, making yet another crater even larger.
As if being trapped in Equestria as a Pokemon wasn't enough, it wasn't even the right Equestria! Everything I knew about it had to be thrown out the proverbial window.
Goddammit. They just don't make things easy, do they?
With my emotions reined in once more, I resumed my hovering stance. Undertow and Riptide wore expressions of shock and confusion, and were looking at themselves as if they couldn't comprehend why they were suddenly covered in snow.
"Sorry," I apologized. "It wasn't anything you said; I was just expecting a different answer."
"Oi! You done over there? We should probably head before these bloody Pegasi get to their senses!" shouted Ryder from somewhere behind me.
He made a good point: I didn't know how long the Confusion would last. Addressing the Pegasi twins once more, I said, "My friends and I have to go now. Are you coming with, or are we going our separate ways?"
"We—"
"Uh—"
They stopped and seemed to think over what to say. I could already tell from their thoughts that they were terrified of both Ryder and I, and they were trying to think of the most polite way to decline.
"Thanks, but—"
"We appreciate the offer, but—"
I smirked inwardly. Sometimes, it felt good to be the badass. "I understand."
They both sagged in relief.
"Oh, and one more thing?"
They both stood to attention again.
"Would you mind dealing with Captain Waffles over there?" I pointed to the golden brown commander of the Legion, who was desperately trying to crawl his way out of crater I had created. One of his wings was bent at an odd angle.
A glint appeared in Riptide's eye while Undertow smiled darkly. "Oh, we wouldn't mind at all," replied Riptide, speaking for both of them. "After all, you killed Spear for me, and I always return a favour."
I shivered inadvertently. Some part of me was hoping that the zombie-looking lieutenant had lived, just so I wouldn't have his death on my conscious. I didn't care if he deserved it or not: I wasn't a judge or jury, but I had somehow obtained the role of executioner.
"Take care of yourselves. Maybe we'll meet again."
"Goodbye," the twins said in unison. "May the wind be at your back, Metang."
I laughed, and a refrigerator-like hum resonated out of me. "Please: call me Little Guy," I said as I reunited with Seth and Ryder.
Sorry for no chapter yesterday: relatives were over, and I had to spend time with them. 
I shall attempt to rectify this mistake tomorrow by trying writing two chapters, but don't hold me to it.
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Great job mate!
Good answer, wrong question asked.
Or vice versa.
A human in equestria story without the Mane 6?
Blasphemy!
PS yay
WOW I didn't expect that.
Well, at least he can go up to Celestia and say, "Hey, your sister'll be fine at the turn of 1000 years... how do I know? I'm basically a super-computer that makes the average person's intelligence equal to that of a TI-82."
Back on topic though: loved da' chapter.
2454188
so:
Well buck, they landed in the time period before the events the started Hearths Warming Eve from the looks of it, or shortly afterwords. Hmm... I wouldn't think that Haunter's or Metang's die of old age so maybe they will live to see the day when Luna is cured/purified.
2454260 Indeeeeeeeed... And what you did there, I see it. The reference.
Also, y u no Zorua. So many illusionary shenanigans to be performed...
2454188
Ahh! Thought I changed that... thanks for spotting
XD Just like Fluffy, he settles for 'Little Guy' as his actual name... This amuses me highly. Continue...
2454505
I'm using this map as my basis (it's too big to fit as an image). All will be made clear in time...
So I read the chapter, was happy it was funny at the right points and (may) have looked at your profile pic a little too long (I blame the Molestia part of me
) and all I have to say is: The name Lil' Guy has stuck.
I is pleased.
2454545 So by following the map, They started near Vanhoover and went up to the Frozen North or did I look at the map wrong?
2454750
Actually, they started at Foal Mountain (east of Canterlot) then moved north to Hollow Shades, then continued north, all the way to the unnamed mountain range, right before the train tracks.
2454790 I looked at the map wrong... I always tend to look to the left for some reason. Well thanks for clearing up since I do have some bad memory and I only remember the chapter before it and not the rest.
I'm getting a feeling that this is going to be the next My Little Caboose: Blue is Magic!
Just sayin'
So. Huh. Honestly wasn't expecting time displacement.
Eh, my prediction was close enough
2454331
Someone actually got the reference
I can't tell you how many people have no idea what I'm referencing even if I use it perfectly.
2455364
The cult following part, or the update every day with short chapters part?
2456800 I'm starting a cult! Anyone want to come with? I have plenty of Kool-Aid!
2457744 Is there any fruit punch?
2454260
Wow. What an original statement!
They're in the past?!
Also, Captain Waffles