(24) - Said the Electric Spider to the Psychic Tank
A Pokemon Problem
(24) - Said the Electric Spider to the Psychic Tank
I felt a weight—not too heavy, but not that light, either—on top of my head, and heard several scratching noises, as well as saw a fuzzy yellow leg ending in a rounded, blue point.
"Take this! And that!"
I recognized that voice and accent: Caleb. I wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish, but he stopped whatever it was he was doing after another couple of scratching sessions, with myself none the worse for wear.
"Yeah... could you get off of me, please?" I asked as politely as I could manage, given the fact that he had jumped on me.
Caleb sprung off of me, almost as if I had threatened him with a magically appearing can of Raid. "Wait a second... you're not one those ponies..."
"No shit." I looked around, but I couldn't determine where he'd jumped off to.
"I recognize that voice... James?!" Caleb called from what seemed to be the ceiling.
"The one and only," I replied.
"Where's everyone else?"
"Standing right beneath you, listening to our entire conversation."
"Oh... well, shit."
Caleb dropped to the floor lithely, landing on all sixes. He was most definitely a Galvantula, a giant spider that spun webs of electricity. While everyone said their hellos, including Philomena, who seemed to have arachnophobia, if her attitude towards Caleb was any indication, I was quite content to help the poor pony out of its electrified cocoon.
I wasn't sure if it was because the pony was absorbing all of the shock, but when I began tearing through the surprisingly strong strands of spider silk, I didn't feel any electric pulses course through me. The pony was almost entirely immobile, save for their rapid breathing. Quicker than I expected, the pony was entirely free.
I decided to issue a warning, on the off-chance that the caramel-orange and black earth pony chose to make a break for it. Yes, I know that I was on a train, and that there was technically nowhere to go, but ponies had consistently surprised me with the choices they made.
"If you run, there's a six foot tall bird that can turn you into a barbeque with the snap of her fingers, and very hungry pig-thing that hasn't eaten in a while. Understand?"
The earth pony shook his (I was pretty sure it was a 'he', at this point) head in the affirmatory way. "I understand," he mumbled.
I shuffled backwards a little bit to leave enough room for the pony to stand up. He did so, slowly and carefully, wincing and favouring his right side as he stood up fully. Almost as soon as the pony regained his footing, I heard a scream of, "Yarrrrgh!" and bared witness to a yellow, blue, and purple blur springing from one side of the carriage to pounce upon the poor earth pony.
"Stop!"
Both parties tussling on the floor, along with everyone else, heeded my call and looked to me.
"Caleb, get the fuck off of the pony."
"But—!"
"I don't care! You can resolve whatever issues you have with each other without beating each other to a pulp, got it?"
With a sigh, Caleb jumped off of the pony onto the wall of the carriage, where he remained, grumbling to himself.
"And you," I thought, directing my attention the earth pony that was struggling to get to his hooves once more. "Who are you?"
"My name's Jack Apple Daniels, but ya'll can call me Jack," he said, tipping his non-existent hat. His piercing, and surprisingly familiar, green eyes were filled to the brim with nervousness and caution. "I'm mighty thankful for your assistance...?"
I almost didn't believe that this pony's name was actually Jack Apple Daniels, because that seemed almost too perfect. A quick check of his thoughts, however, confirmed that he was indeed called that. Jack Daniels the pony. Well I never.
"James," I replied. "Or Little Guy. Or big metal thing. Frankly, I don't really care what I'm called at this point."
A ghost of a smile appeared at the corner of his mouth before disappearing almost as quickly as it had come. "I think I'll call you Little Guy, just for the sheer juxtaposition your name entails. Now—" he eyed the electric spider that was currently glaring back at him, "—would you mind explaining to me exactly what that overgrown arachnid's problem is with me?"
After I recovered from the surprisingly well-spoken stallion's words, I repeated Jack Daniel's question to Caleb.
"What's my problem? What's my problem?! I'll tell you what my problem is!" Caleb exclaimed. "My problem is that these pony bastards nearly killed me three times! Three times!"
I said nothing, waiting for Caleb to elaborate.
"The first time was when they cut down the tree that I'd claimed as my own, back when I was still a Joltik. I was damn lucky that I was freaking small, else I would've been crushed. The second time was when I was very nearly turned into mush—the branch that I was clinging to for dear life was the same one that they were processing through a sawmill!"
"And after that?"
"Well, after being nearly crushed and sawed, I was promptly thrown in a bloody box—full of wood, mind you—and thrown onto this stupid train!" He punctuated his statement by spitting a glob of sparking web onto the floor of the train. "So, while I'm trying to avoid being crushed by the wood that's tumbling around in that godforsaken box, everything goes white and I end up evolving into this. But that's not all, oh no! You'd think that after I grew that much, I'd be fine, right? Nope! I spent god-knows-how-long being crushed up against both the wood and the box, until there was a big enough bump that finally knocked me down, and let me free."
"Pretty sure that was us."
"And I thank you for it! So, finally free after being compressed—oh, and boy did it hurt—I decided to take my revenge on the knob-headed ponies that did this to me in the first place!"
I repeated, to the best of my ability, everything that happened to Caleb so that Mr. Hard Liquor there could understand.
"I wasn't a part of any woodcutting crew," Jack said. "I'm a trader. All I did was load up the supplies from Manehattan to unload at Canterlot."
If my face could show expressions, it would be locked in the facial expression of 'are-you-fucking-kidding-me'. I turned to Caleb.
"Tell me, Caleb: what colour were the ponies that nearly killed you?"
"Hmm... one was neon green, another was burgundy or red, and another was yellow—just like that one right there! Actually..." He paused for a moment. "Actually, I don't think that pony's as bright as the other one... must be the fact that we're indoors..."
"Yeah... no. Mr. Jack Daniels here isn't yellow: he's coloured almost identically to the alcohol's namesake of which he's named after."
"What?! Impossible!"
"What colour am I?"
"Light blue?"
I looked down at my slate-blue arms. "I don't think your eyes are that good, Caleb." Turning to Jack Apple Daniels, I thought, "It appears your whole imprisonment was due to some unfortunate misunderstanding, Jack. My... acquaintance here can't see very well, and he thought you were one of the ponies who destroyed his home and nearly eviscerated him."
"I'll let it slide—for now." After looking each and every one of us, he asked, "If you don't mind me asking: what in Tartarus are you?"
"Pokemon, obviously. Oh, and a phoenix." Philomena chirped at her recognition.
Jack Daniels raised an eyebrow. "I... see. Well, as the trade master of this train—can I offer anyone any refreshments?"
I felt rather than heard Seth's stomach growl. "I hope you have a lot of excess food."
"Why's that?"
"You'll see."
Sorry for not updating yesterday!
Yesterday was just... terrible. I had to go to court as a witness and wait on the most uncomfortable bench you could imagine, then the flu I caught several days ago worsened into full-fledged fever, making me alternately feel hotter than the Gobi desert and colder than Antarctica. Oh, and my cough came back, making it difficult to breathe. 
But at least I got the day off of school, amiright? Hopefully I can crank out another chapter today to make up for yesterday's drought.
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And the train was never heard of again.
I don't except your apology...yet more chapter would be a god way of redeaming yourself though
Was Caleb correctly able to identify the colors of the woodcutting crew and is only now messing them up?
If his eyes were bad the whole time, it wouldn't matter what color he called them, just that they matched.
2512616
Yes.
I demand a new chapter where he finally evolves into Metagross.
And promptly brings the train to a screeching halt.
2512561 Heard *from sounds better. but lol.
Is it alright that the only character I truly care about is the metang?
Cool!
I bet this is Applejack's ancestor!
Damn you, updating while I'm at school.
Jack Apple Daniels? Apple family is like a bamboo forest roots go fore miles
I wonder what Metang would have said?
In my world, you have made history as one of the most well-known Whiskey brands.
Or alternatively...
Aren't you supposed to be Scottish?
Only one exam and no classes left of school.
Also, it doesn't matter if you miss a day or two. After all, life is unpredictable and I don't really think you should apologize for that series of events, you couldn't have prevened it after all.
Hey, you caught the same thing as me, only a day later.
For me I mean
Unless it was for some other guys
What'd you witness? I hope it was something exciting (although that stuff is usually terrifying if you ever see it firsthand.)
2513599
Sorry, but I signed a NDA (Non-Disclosure Agreement).
2513604
I had a feeling you had :C. Well, I hope you don't have to go into the Witness Protection Program. What would I do without my daily dosage of Pokemon and Ponies?
2513681
Hopefully function perfectly fine
2513702
*dies*
Maybe not... xD
2514230 I have a friend who until a few months and a single conversation ago had always thought cider and mustard are green. To his defense, he has dyschromatopsia.