Time passing
Time goes on.
Time...time flows ever onward, but through our perception it ebbs and flows. In truth, time never changes. It is a line, unbroken and static. Set since the first word.
A line that may loop, twist, and bend on itself, but a line nevertheless.
Mordane grew in strength and closer to those around him, but in time the inevitability of his situation would come rushing toward him.
Fate has its ways.
Mordane closed the door, his mind racing, heart pounding. All along his train trip he had been struggling to hold it together.
He had almost killed Luna. The spellforms had slid into his mind with no effort.
He had been standing there, feeling their eyes on him and feeling completely normal when Luna spoke up. A spike of anger and he reached for the magic, already made and already known. He could have tried...and only that it would have been a fruitless try had stayed his horn.
He finally let that thought sink in. The idea of ripping out a ponies soul. For a moment he felt jovial about it.
”That's ridiculous, I mean, I would need…”
A retching of his soul gripped him as his mind played out all the ways he could successfully entrap a soul. The most obvious involved ripping out the heart and merging it with obsidian.
Sick memories flooded back. Clawing and screaming at him.
”Dead. So many dead.”
He could not stop the tide. It was like a broken dam. He struggled alone to close it and make it his own.
Mordane walked into the post office near central Ponyville with a stern look on his face. Because of their slow service Twilight had called in the army.
Three days. Three days to deliver an envelope across town. A message that should have gotten to her within a day at worst. Mordane had decided to go on a journey to visit his family. It heartwarming after all. So he had sent a letter over to Twilight via the local mail service.
When he hadn’t shown up for their weekly practice Twilight had come rushing over to his house only to find it empty.
She then went to Fluttershys, then Applejacks. Then she had rushed to find the CMC only to realize he was nowhere to be found. Busting into his house she had found that his cloak was missing.
Her reaction had lacked anything but restraint. The guard were still grumbling how sore their wings and hooves were.
"Can I help you?" asked a smiling, white-maned, black bodied stallion behind the counter.
"Yes, I would like to complain. My letter took entirely too long to arrive at its destination. There was a major incident because of it. You know all the soldiers?"
”I should punish him for his insolence.” Mordane winsed rubbing his tempel ”No, I won’t. Get back in your cage.”
The mail stallion shook his head a sad look in his eyes.
"Yes, it would at that. Was it being delivered in town?"
"Why yes, how did you know?" Mordane replied, his nose scrunching in confusion.
"I know all the mail that goes through here. Well you see we have to deliver the mail to Canterlot then send to wherever it needs to go."
"...That seems incredibly inefficient. Why hasn't it been updated?"
The stallion gave a knowing smile. Eyes growing distant and clouded.
"I too once asked that question. Now I have worked in this mailing depot for forty years, and have yet to find an answer. Many believe there is none."
"Well...it seems simple just make tran-"
"YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND, COLT! THE MAIL SERVICE IS LIKE A LIVING THING! IT MOVES, IT BREATHES, ITS UNSTOPPABLE!! US MORTALS CANNOT UNDERSTAND ITS COMPLEXITY!!!"
"But-"
"NO BUTS! RUN CHILD! RUN, BEFORE YOU ARE CONSUMED BY THE MONSTER THAT IS THE EQUESTRIAN MAILING SERVICE!"
Mordane slowly backed out of the post office and vowed to never return. A look of utter confusion was plastered on his face.
"SNOWBALL FIGHT!" Yelled Scootaloo before being pounded with uncounted balls of crystallized water.
"Get down you fool!" Mordane pulled her behind the snow fort with a spell before the cold overcame her.
Enemy forces outnumber us two to one and are attacking from cover behind the eastern snow drift...okay, that means this is the only option.
"Scootaloo, Applebloom, are you ready for a mission?"
The two CMC ceased fire and saluted before shouting-
"Sir, yes, sir!"
Mordane took note of the decrease in enemy fire in response to the shout.
"Sweetie and I will provide covering fire. You will need to make a line for the southern bunker."
"But sir!" Scootaloo started, her wings popping in shock, "That fort was heavily damaged!"
"It is only temporary. Besides, you will not return fire until you are forgotten, then you are to attack them from the flank."
"We’re going to attack their behinds?"
"No no, from the side, the side."
"OH."
"Okay, on my order! Go, SUPPRESSIVE FIRE!"
The snowball reserves were depleted rapidly.
It was a good day.
Months passed quickly.
"Concentrate Mordane. Concentrate, you can do it." Twilight stood near him as he focused. Her horn was glowing with power. The library around them providing an ominous backdrop to the day’s struggle.
"I can't. It's too hard!"
"Don't say that, don't ever- wait look there"
"Ugh, now I'll have to start all over again!"
"It's okay, you almost did it that time."
"How is a sane pony supposed to take such detailed notes without making any mistakes?"
"Then you must think I'm insane!"
"OF COURSE I DO!"
Mordane sat with the CMC in the clubhouse listening to a mundane conversation.
"Yeah, I wish I had Rainbow’s wings," sighed Scootaloo
"Well, with a simple surgery that could be arranged. I could catch her at...
Okay, no. Just no. I am not going to go learn a sleeping spell and then snuck into her cloud home after confirming nopony would show up and cut off Rainb-
...Time to go meditate for a few hours."
"Now Angel Bunny, that’s not nice," scolded Fluttershy after entering into the cottage.
It was good she came when she did. Mordane was a few seconds from using his magic to kill every animal in the place.
After all, no one likes to be tied up and hung over a fire.
A year had passed.
Scootaloo was showing off again. They had set up a half-pipe for her to do jumps and she practically lived on it now.
However, this day was different. She had some new trick to show off.
Mordane and the other CMC sat watching her routine. It was awesome, cool, and incredibly fast.
She did backflips, grinds, and well, more flips. Her show was interrupted when one side of the ramp fell down.
She shot off incredibly fast down the dirt path. He eyes were screwed shut and nothing else was on her mind but to go faster. A crazy idea came into her head.
”What if this is my destiny?”
The other crusaders gasped as a small pop sounded off, followed by a flash of light.
The three of them rushed up to her and found a cutie mark of a scooter wheel with wings laying on her flank.
Mordane was walking down the main square when he noticed there was some kind of commotion going on over by one of the stalls. The vendor, a mare with thick glasses and an almost offensively bright green mane, was shouting at a shifty-looking stallion. Seeing all the items in the bag it was easy to conclude that this was Shop Lifter.
"Yes you did! I saw you put them in your saddlebag." The stallion was clearly sweating and, true to the shopkeeper’s word, his bags were bulging with various objects. He shifted from hoof to hoof while glancing around nervously.
"Ma'am, I'm quite sure that I don't know what you-"
"I can see them! You've got so many that they don't even fit properly."
As if to accentuate her claim, a number of items fell from the stallion's bag, eliciting a gasp from the many onlookers.
"Oi, that's my hairclip!"
"And my baby's rattle."
"Hey, I remember this guy! We had to call the guards on him over at my shop because he kept stealing all of the quills. He would have gotten away with one of the couches too, if the guards hadn't shown up when they did. They said that his name is Shop Lifter, and that he was wanted in three cities."
Shop Lifter had a tight lipped grin while straightening his tie collar.
"I assure you fine folks, you've got the wrong stallion." He walked up to the green-maned vendor and put a foreleg around her neck, gesturing off into the distance with his free hoof. "You see I'm a traveler and these are just souvenirs that I legitimately purchased on my many journeys."
The vendor looked back to the stallion and promptly did a double-take. Her brow furrowed in confusion and she raised a hoof to her face and felt around her eyes.
"Are those...those are my glasses!" Sure enough, there they were sitting on the stallion's face. "And why is there another pair beneath them?"
"Those would be mine," spoke up Mordane.
"Um, I know that this looks bad, but these really are my glas-" Lifter continued to stutter and make excuses.
Mordane however was distracted by two mares, one teal green the other with mixed hair colors, both slipping into a nearby house. He happened to be standing at the right angle to see them open a box, take out guard armor and begin to slip it on.
"GET HIM!"
The stallion yelped and darted off down the street, leaving a trail of assorted knickknacks and angry townsfolk in his wake.
The two mares moved faster and in a few seconds two identical white male unicorn guards ran out the door.
"Huh, there are illusions on their armor."
"Halt in the name of Celestia!"
They ran after Shop Lifter and Mordane followed. Surprised that even their voices changed.
The stallion ran down the street, dropping items left and right, before he came upon a wagon being pulled by his twin brother.
"SMUT! I NEED YOUR CART!"
"WHAT? BUT, BUT, MY MARITAL AIDS!"
The pony jumped into the wagon’s back.
"RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN!"
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH"
The two ponies fled the town screaming and left behind a young colt laughing with all four hooves kicking into the air.
Another month passed.
Mordane sat alone in his hidey hole cradling a crying Kindle and surrounded by his shredded notes.
He contemplated life, death and the calling of power.
A flying zombie fish sat up in a corner munching on some paper. Its hollow eyes glowing as it floated up contently to munch on its prize.
"I warned you -AHHHH- about trying to use necromancy for good -WAAAHHH- but you wouldn't listen -WHAAA!"
”Never again…” Mordane thought “never again.”
Mordane banged his head against the desk in school. The struggle wearing down his soul.
Scootaloo’s eyes watering as she was looking at the paper between them.
"But I don't understand, I thought that was the division symbol there."
The colt stumbled in wet from the rain. The wince in his step pronounced. It was a simple spell to dry him off. Walking into his cubby hole he unclamped the Clandestine amulet..
He right wing is crumpled against his body. Weaker ponies would have been rendered unconscious after crashing in such a storm. He floated over Kindle and opened her.
"Kindle...show me alicorn wing anatomy."
The image’s eyes widened.
"You’re hurt! You should see a doctor!"
"I can't...just show me the data. At least the Necromancer’s knowledge will help some."
Gasps of pain were heard by no-one as he cut off feeling to the wing. Using the picture provided by Kindle and his mind's eye he slid all the bones into place and makes a spell to hold them there.
A hospital was too risky and a month later Mordane was flying again.
Mordane watched as Pinkie Pie cut the ribbon on the new 'Party King Anonymous: He's gone but we party on: Ponyville branch'. She hoped it would be the first of many.
Within an hour of opening, twenty members joined.
”SCREW THESE QUILLS!”
The colt had gone through three in a week and the ink was so much trouble.
"If only there was some way to combin-...wait."
The next week he was sitting in the library with his sleek new pen as Twilight came walking by.
" Hey Mordane, I just want- WHAT THE BUCK IS THAT!"
The mare was staring wide eyed at the cylindrical object floating over her students paper.
"Uhhh...it's a pen...I invented it."
"THIS WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING IN ACADEMIA!"
"..."
As Twilight babbled on the colt took a moment to actually consider the implications.
”The main source from quills is pegasus feathers, and if that goes out they will have to find another use for them. It will like result in the loss of thousands of collection and manufacturing jobs which will take some time to rebound after the transition. Businesses will close. Ponies may go hungry...should be fine though. I mean it can't be too bad.”
She broke out of her trance with a yell, "With this we can write TWICE AS MUCH!"
”OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE!”
Two weeks later Mordane was walking down the street. The quills and sofa salesman was crying into the sky.
"Why!"
He sat down at a table and began to read an article about how Twilight’s student Mordane had discovered such a great thing.
”Sigh, It’s too bad they don't have patents in Equestria.”
”Ok, this is it. It has taken an ungodly amount of effort to set this up, but finally the trap is ready.”
To the average pony it may look fairly simple, just a box propped up on a stick with a brown coated unicorn colt standing underneath it. In truth it is covered in so many layers of spells and enchantments that it will probably leave a minor stain on the area for years to come. It is all necessary though. Today is the day that Mordane will finally rid himself of the scourge that has been plaguing him for years now.
The colt suppressed an evil laugh.
The pony under the box was actually a highly detailed mannequin replica of himself that he had commissioned from one of Equestria's top sculptors and the ‘box’ was rated to contain young rampaging dragons. Together they had cost him a small fortune, but it was one that he had spent gladly. The stick he had just found on the side of the road earlier that day, but as far as sticks went it was pretty nice too.
He had lost count of exactly how many enchantments he had placed in the area, their effects ranging from an array of detection, counter-detection, and counter-counter-detection charms, through to teleportation dampening fields and a couple of meteor reflection spells. It was the only way to be sure.
Many of the spells had been so draining to cast that he had been limited to installing one a day, but there was no denying that it had been worth it. In truth the hardest part had been pulling all of this off without alerting his quarry.
”And speak of the devil.”
It was only thanks to the litany of detection charms that he was able to pick up as much as he had. Trying to spot his target directly was a lost cause so he had instead set these ones up to detect minute changes in the atmosphere and environment. At the moment, what he was actually 'seeing' were the tiny clouds of dust that formed whenever somepony's hoof made contact with the ground, and even they were requiring ludicrous amounts of concentration to spot. He did not look forward to the headache that this was going to cause, but that was something for Future Mordane to worry about.
Mordane grinned from his heavily camouflaged hiding place underneath an inconspicuous pile of hay. He waited until the dust tufts crossed the threshold and quickly yanked the stick out, causing the trap to slam down and activate its confinement procedure. In a process too complex for Mordane to fully comprehend the box ran through a series of folds, many of which should have been impossible in a three dimensional universe, until it reached its finished state, and at the same time, his web of spells activated, completing what was probably the most secure prison short of Tartarus. At this point even the likes of Discord would have trouble escaping.
”Finally my years of torment have ended!”
To say that he was pleased would have been like saying that Twilight was kind of fond of books. Nothing could bring him down at this moment.
"Well, that was a pretty good effort. Nowhere near close enough, but still a good effort."
Mordane's mouth dropped open as he slowly turned to the voice that had come from beside him. There was Child Stalker, wearing his trademark leer.
"I look forward to what you're going to try next, after all I am always..." -He leaned forward so that their faces were almost touching-
"Watching you!"
His scream of frustration startled ponies even in the middle of Ponyville.
Pinkie sat the Pie down in front of the smiling young stallion. He took a bite.
"Wow that's some good pie, Pinkie Pie."
"Thanks!"
She smiled as he continued to eat.
“So Pinkie how is the ummm Party King thing going?”
The mare blinked at him in confusion.
“What do you mean?”
The colt shifted nervously
“Well I was just wondering what you were going to do with it?”
She stood stirring a bowl of batter carefully considering her answer.
“...Well I hope to make it grow until we can open subsidiaries in all the major-”
Suddenly a cartload of ponies sped through the kitchen destroying everything.
“WHOOOOOO! PARTY KING!”
Mordane did not bat an eyelash. This had become the norm.
“Well, I’m just concerned that it may get a bit out of hoof...”
Time continued to move on.
"Now be careful Mordane," guided Fluttershy
The colt was shaking in his boots as Harry the bear was rampaging in front of him. Apparently something had woke him up early in the middle of winter.
"Approach softly and speak softly with soft words..."
Fluttershy had determined that this would be the best time to teach him how to calm animals.
"Ok soft...got it."
Mordane moved close to the bear, cooing. It continued to growl as it turned to face him. The colt moved closer locking eyes and speaking softly to the bear. Its growls quieted, in time he went back to his cave.
Applebloom came running up to the clubhouse shouting. The other three CMC joined her at the sight of a saw cutting into an apple on her flank.
Apparently the two days before, the barn had fallen down just as zap apple season started. Without a place to pack them, the harvest would likely be a failure.
Applebloom had volunteered to build the barn herself while the other two siblings picked.
When she stood before the completed barn a day later, it had dawned on her the importance of construction on the farm and for the family.
Her cutie mark had appeared at that moment.
Mordane stood stunned before his Kindle. Shocked at the implications of what he had found.
”A time spell, I can't believe. Why with this I could travel to see the dawn of time! Or go back and put money in a bank account with interest! I could go and get ancient lost knowledge. I could…”
It was at that moment the young stallion remembered his random promise a long time ago.
"..."
Star Swirl was standing in his laboratory when a flash of light shined behind him. Before he could react however, a swift kick in the stallion’s jewels sent him writhing to the floor.
Mordane quickly looked around the library and began floating beakers and other such items he would like to have but could not risk buying over to him.
"Who...why?" The stallion cried weakly on the floor.
"I can't tell you, it would cause a paradox."
"What's a paradox?"
"You know when you go back in time and do something that changes the future and makes it where you were unable to go back and do it."
"Time travel? That's impossible."
Mordane did a double-take at that as more items went into his bag.
"Really? You're the one who invented it...wait. Well you’re going to have to invent it now."
"Why?"
"So I can kick you in the balls."
"Why would I want that!?"
"I told you, paradox. If you do not make the time spell, I won't be able to come back and kick you in the balls, to tell you to make it."
"But...THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"
"I KNOW, PARADOX!"
With that Mordane disappeared leaving an unfortunate Star Swirl to work for the next two years towards a goal that will inevitably cause his past self to be kicked in the nuts.
Mordane limped, dragging Pinkie away from the burning building.
"WHAAA NOOO WHYYYYY!"
The party at Party King Anonymous had gotten out of hoof after a time. Somepony had 'accidentally' started a fire.
By pure luck and definitely for no other reason, Mordane had been on hoof to see that everypony got out safely.
As he stared at the flames thinking on what the organization could have become, he only thought.
"It had to be done."
Mordane stood on the porch waving goodbye to his parents as they were leaving from their yearly visit.
A chill ran up his spine. Blackheart’s memories of his parents had been...dark. It reminded him of his human ones, except worse.
He had spent much of their visit pushing down images of spikes.
"Do you want to go see a movie Mordane?" shouted Sweetie Belle
"...Whaaaa."
Mordane sat with the other crusaders as they waited for his response.
They have movies here?
"Movie?"
"It's like a story, with moving pictures!"
"...Right. Sure I would love to go with you girls."
A dull look came over Sweetie’s eyes before she responded
"Great! Meet you there in an hour!"
Then the three ran out.
"...Where do I go."
Luckily some ponies in town knew the way. Apparently, movies were shown monthly in the library using a projector of some kind.
Mordane was looking at the piece of technology and was unsurprised to see that it ran almost completely on magic. Even considering that, though it was unlikely to make a quality picture. In fact it would likely only be black and white.
”...lack of understanding of chemistry or willingness to apply it?”
"...Hi Mordane."
"Oh, hi Sweetie Belle...Where are the others?" The colt was still looking at the contraption he simply had only heard one set of hooves.
"...Oh, err, they decided not to come." She sounded nervous. Mordane turned around to speak to her.
"Really I wonde-...Sweetie Belle why are you in a dress?"
"...Well."
"..."
"..."
The filly was in a stunning purple satin dress and seemed to be wearing makeup that looked way overdone on one so young.
"Why the heck would she be here in such a dress unless..."
"...Am I underdressed?"
"What?"
"Well, I was just wondering, I mean I'm naked. You look nice in a dress by the way."
"Really?" She blushed and stammered, "Thanks"
"So, where are the others?"
"Ummm..." She shifted uncomfortably. "Something came up?"
"...Right. Who did the makeup?"
"...Scootaloo. Is it bad?"
"Yeah, give me a moment."
A few tissues from a box in a nearby desk floated over and rammed against the filly’s face. She would've struggled, but the colt held her firm.
"Aaaand there. Now you look even better. Whelp might as well not let the movie be ruined. Let's make a date of it."
"WHAT!?" The young mare shrieked.
"Just kidding, lets go."
Many of the other guests began to make their way to the seats. Mordane and Sweetie sat in the back. The film, by even the weakest of human standards before the former human left, was terrible. There was no acting. Just still pictures moved around a screen with one voice doing all the lines.
First of all, it was black and gray. You could see vertical black bars pass over the screen periodically as well. Which was acceptable, given the level of technology, but the story.
It was the worst ever.
The story was a telling of an old legend. One about Star Swirl and his search for his hat.
The gist of this story is that the hat was on his head, the whole time. A twist that Mordane had found kind of funny as a near baby colt.
This twist was undermined by the fact that the paper cutout of Star Swirl clearly was wearing his hat the whole time.
He searched a house, a cave, another house, under a rock, under a chicken. THIS WENT ON FOR AN HOUR.
Sweetie did not seem too interested in the movie, but she did seem cold to Mordane. After all she kept scooting closer.
After the move finished the two young ponies walked out of the library into daylight.
"So, where should we go?"
"Ummm..."
Suddenly they heard music in the background
Pinkie came around the corner with the entire town following her.
”Da freak?”
Mordane had yet to see one of these impromptu music sessions. It was surprising when he found himself marching along singing with the crowd. The tendrils of magic giving him clear directions.
What did surprise him however was when Sweetie Belle began to take the song lead. Her voice was strong and provided a great counter melody. Her eyes were looking out over the crowd from a box she had jumped on when a musical note appeared on her flank.
After the song ended Pinkie was the first to shout out.
"Hey look, Sweetie Belle got her cutie mark!"
Many ponies cheered and Mordane smiled as she came down to smile at her.
"Congratulations, little one," said a random stallion before turning to Mordane. "You should give your marefriend a kiss."
Many of the nearby ponies laughed.
"Oh no, we're not special someponies. Were friends."
SHUNK
The smiling Sweetie Belle looked like she had been stabbed in the heart.
"On second thought...she is more like a sister."
SHUNK SHUNK
"Yeah, I don't think of her like that at all."
SHUNK SHUNK SHUNK SHUNK SHUNK SHUNK
Luna walks up to her sister, who was eating cake on the patio.
"Sister, I would like to bring something to your attention."
"Really? What is that?"
"I cannot seem to locate Mordane's dreams."
"Oh? Not many teenage colts would care to have you in their dream...on second thought..."
Celestia smirked and Luna rolled her eyes.
"No, I mean every night. I've never even seen one."
Celestia paused for a moment before shrugging.
"What a pony dreams is their business. Not ours."
Years pass.
Mordane, Big Mac and Spike were all sitting on top of a hill with a hard cider in their hooves and claws.
The young alicorn, now sixteen years of age, was only a foot and a half shorter than the big red stallion.
Below him the cracks of trees resounded as the elements of Honesty and Loyalty fought below.
Something about 'All dem apples yah took'.
"Eeyup..." intoned Big Mac.
"Eeyup..." responded Mordane.
"Eeyup..." finished Spike.
The glasses of cider tipped and where downed.
Mordane turned to Spike and Big Mac.
"What would y’all say if I told you I was an interdimensional being who found his way into the body of a pony?"
The other two blinked.
"What if I told you I once rode on the back of a manticore?" responded spike.
"...I'd ask how you’re still alive."
"What if I told yah I was Celestia’s consort," chuckled Big Mac.
"..."
"Well then, I'd say you were crazy."
"Eeyup. That's what they all say," smirked the red stallion.
All three males drank...
"We gather together today to mourn the loss of..."
"Mr. Squirrel," Fluttershy whispered between sobs..
"...right. Mr Squirrel. A loving father and mate, who did gather nuts every year for his family in the winter-"
Twilight stood giving a eulogy for a square join by the elements of harmony, her student, both
princesses and the spirit of chaos.
It was a strange funeral.
It seems Discord had found out that Fluttershy was sad somehow and decided to come to Ponyville. Celestia and Luna decided to come as well in order to avoid...complications.
" -and so we commit this Po- one to the ground. So that-"
Honestly it seemed a bit overdone to Mordane. However, Fluttershy was the boss.
Rarity was glaring at Mordane as he walked past her boutique.
Honestly he had no idea why.
Twilights birthday was coming up...again. Mordane had forgotten it the year before, and she had
given...subtle hints about her displeasure of such a lapse in etiquette. This year however was different.
"Oh...wow Mordane, its beautiful!"
"The gem used to belong to my grandmother. I want you to take it. You're like a second mother to me, Twilight."
The mare was in tears and sighs filled the room at the party as she gave him a hug followed by a kiss on the cheek.
He squirmed out of her arms and looked at the floor, unable to meet her gaze.
"We gather together today to mourn the loss of Granny smith. One of the oldest ponies in Equestria. It was myself who gave this land of Ponyville to her father and his descendants nearly three hundred years ago. I still remember first meeting her as a little filly.-"
Mordane stood silently, a taut look on his face as the apple family shed their tears near him. He had come to see Applebloom’s grandmother laid to rest. Many of the town were there and more than you might think were generally sad.
What everypony did not see was Mordane gritting his teeth.
”A pony that has lived for nearly three hundred years.. nearly two pony life times.
no...that's not right. We should respect the dead.
True respect would be to put her to good use.”
The eulogy was quite long, but Mordane stayed for the entire thing, Granny Smith deserved it.
Time flows ever onward. It is not the great events that give us strength however. It is the mundanity of things. The cycle of life.
Mordane lived in Ponyville for six years. Sometimes he barely escaped being found; Other times he was bored.
He even helped his mentor during crisis. Most of all however, he grew closer to his friends and teacher.
These days would mark some of the best times in Mordane’s early life.
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Two lifetimes and still ignorant to the ways of women.
I sense a great darkness in the future of this story.
6877195 Dude. look at the comment after yours. I made the comment it replies to first.
This seems significantly more stable than last time, there's no fire to spontaneously go imperial.
ULTIMATE COMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~
But no that was sad, I know he's immortal and as standard for being male, oblivious. Even so...
FIND LOVE DAMMIT
6877235 yeah, this was written 3 years ago and is a reupload. I can't bare to read it myself. For the urges to burn it all. I hate my old writing. I do hope my new stuff will be better.
6877237 yes there will be a story conclision
6877389 fuuuuck. I forgot about that. I think what I realized is that fire does.exist. it is simply hot air and excited partials reacting to the atmosphere.
doctorwendigo.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/king_of_the_hill_alley11.jpg
Oh, I remember that ending and what comes next... I'm feeling a weird combination of anticipation and dread, and I love it.
So much potential...gone.
6877501 It isn't the best sure, but compared to 90% of the garbage on this site? It's excellent. I'm more than willing to overlook some grammar and spacing in return for a good story. I read through both parts of this like 4 times before you took them down.
Four years gone by and the Watchining goes ever on.... NOTICE ME STARGAZER-SEMPAI!!!!!!!
Poor sweetie belle...
Also, I got a link to a non existent story labeled as act two of this story. It was very confusing.
6877501
I didn't know that. Still it's pretty good compared to a lot of what I've seen. If it was truly awful is stop reading it. I was merely giving some critiques that could have made it better overall.
6878091 can you tell me where exactly?
6878086 noticed O_O
The pacing of this story was like being dragged over a highway littered with glass by a semi going 80, but this last chapter really picked it up. I didn't think it possible.
The issues I have with this story are many and I am happy that the author also recognizes that this narration would require a lot of work to make it better. Characters should not be forced into things for comedy (the three amoral brothers) nor should characters be given only one quality and have it taken to the extreme (Pinkie Pie). For Star Charmer's death to have any meaning to the reader, it would require a slowing down of events and expounding more on the budding relationship. Many canon characters felt OOC. Though I feel like this is a learning experience and hopefully the next stories will be able to avoid the shortfalls in this one.
6878206
It was in the similar stories section. Not something you can control.
6878499 definitely. I actually started to do that but the scale stopped me. :/
That's why I decided to put Back up the original
Im pretty sure that the time travel spell he used to kick star swirl, was the same spell from the episode 'It's about time'. Also technically the type of paradox this is, is a Bootstrap Paradox. (Google it)
Spike
BEST PARADOX EVER!
OK so whats the story about.
Just a slice of life
I can't find the story.
Look I love this story, its beautifully written. But it doesn't look like a story anymore more like a journal. What is the protag going to do, what is the point of this story?
6910278
Technically it's called the bootstrap paradox, and is rarely used in sci-fi. (Click here for an explanation of the paradox itself). And yes, I watch Docter Who
Title: Meh.
The actual story:
img.memecdn.com/transparent-screaming-bird-for-your-blog_o_5894405.jpg
there is actually a cinema in ponyville
7002706
HAHA The whovians shall double the fun!!!!!
8118551 You called?
oh god. this is.
glorious.
pure. fucking. comedy. gold.
.... Again, where are the "Random" and "Comedy tags for this story? I swear it feels like someone with ADHD hyped up on industrial-grade espresso wrote this.
8500717
Well it wasn't industrial grade
Needs more context.
Oh man,that's just savage! It's like forcing someone to dig his own grave!
This book is getting off track fast and it’s starting to lose my interest.
9118046
I'm sorry to hear that. I agree though that this is the worst mistake of my story. I shouldn't have done a time skip at all.
Still, I hope you will stick it out and enjoy it.
9118046
9118062
Weeeeeeeellllllll, the time skip isn't reeeeaaally a bad thing. In all honesty, the author didn't have much planned during the current canon events. As such, he did a time skip thing that brushed over his ups, downs, decisions, and obliviousness in CERTAIN situations.
8516156
Basically, Scootaloo thought that the addition symbol was a division symbol. Its one of those things that takes an eye for detail. No, it just takes common sense.
Good job with the updates! It was always a bit weird to me that Spike said he was Mordane’s best friend, but i never saw any evidence of that. You fixed that here, so good job!
so now that mordane didn't send the message last chapter and the search didn't happen does that mean the postal scene going to be changed out or edited as another crazy thing in pony village he deals with? will some of the scenes be longer as well?
I can't believe but...this chapter actually bored me enough to stop me from reading, I have already read this before but in this re-read I simply couldn't, so many snippets of scenes that had no importance and make me feel like the story needs the "random" tag added
I loved this story... I have no idea what could have changed to make me feel so unenthusiastic to read it
I think I'll just start skimming the chapters until I reach the part where he gets discovered and leaves... I recall that part being great...hope it still is
9542724 I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure it is simply the number of times seen.
Let me know your experience though.
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
9856826
Roll Tide!
AHA!! I CAUGHT YOU RED HANDED!! Reading everyones mail without their knowledge. Tia tia tia, you know you can hide it better than that.
Good chapter. The young life was nice. Hopefully he gets better control of his Blackheart.
Rest in piece granny.
And with this one sentence he was doomed
Just read the rest dear god