Moonlight Angel

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Comments ( 23 )

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DerpedRainbow

DerpedRainbow #1 · Jan 18th, 2013 · 3 · ·

First story? I had a feeling that I hadn't seen your name before. Really well done, and not just the clop! To be honest, I expect this to be featured.

You did a good job here.

DerpedRainbow

DerpedRainbow #2 · Jan 18th, 2013 · · ·

Also, apparently RD thinks it's adorable trash. And it needs 20% more vomit.

RD is insulting everywhere

Drakkith

Drakkith #3 · Jan 18th, 2013 · · ·

1978463
Thanks!

canius

canius #4 · Jan 18th, 2013 · · ·

awwesome

Chaotic Mind

Chaotic Mind #5 · Jan 18th, 2013 · 3 · ·

Welcome to the Mile High club Dash. Literally...

lonleybones

lonleybones #6 · Jan 19th, 2013 · · ·

I thought this was pretty good for a first story!

Francois

Francois #7 · Jan 19th, 2013 · 3 · ·

That was rather nice. BUT, the dialogue mid sex needs some work. The 'just like that' thing specifically needs to go, mainly because it makes it sound like some corny porno. The words 'just like that' and all their variations should be banned from the scripts of all porno's everywhere, and shouldn't ever come anywhere near writing.

Arbokvorever1

Arbokvorever1 #8 · Jan 21st, 2013 · · ·

FlyboyI laughed so hard at that line, good job!

Jubilancy

Jubilancy #9 · Jan 21st, 2013 · 1 · ·

That was truly amazing, I love Soarin'Dash fics. I'll be watching you closely, my friend.

Drakkith

Drakkith #10 · Jan 21st, 2013 · · ·

1986150
Edited dialogue to take that out and cleaned it up a bit. Apparently what something sounds like when you write it isn't always what it sounds like when you read it three days later.

BobtheLurker