Clopmaster7
Joined 15th Jan, 2013 ·
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Wow, never knew that these actually existed. I thought they were just stereotypes.
*photographs*
1967171
Honestly?
Because they think when they were writing this story in their incredibly horny attitudes (most likely in the wee hours of the night, i.e. 2 AM) that their story was GOOD. So they share it.
It's not good.
I'll never understand why people post their masturbation-fodder for others to see. Can you explain it to me? Do you really think people are going to say "YEAH DUDE YOU WANT TO FUCK HORSES I WANT TO FUCK HORSES TOO YEAH AWESOME LETS TOUCH TIPS"?
Please be a trollfic. For the love of God, please let this be a trollfic.
Also, a single question mark doesn't make a paragraph. In fact, it makes absolutely no sense at all.
1967171
No, I decided to try my hand at clopfics, and this is the result.
I'm not gonna lie this has caught my attention a bit and i'm curious so I will keep reading more as you make more for now.
1967214
Okay, but just remember the help me out on the upvote battle. Look! We are losing! To your battle stations comrades!
1967204
That's not the part I have a problem with. Clop is totally cool. I get that.
My issue is why it's about you and, more specifically, you having sex with a bunch of ponies. The only explanation I can think of is that you wrote this for yourself, which makes me wonder why you posted it for the public to see. Unless you actually think that other people care or want to read about you having sex with horses, in which case, you are sadly mistaken.
1967204
PROTIP
DON'T MAKE IT A SELF-INSERT
I just read this and...
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6313510912/h65AD53A4/
1967347>>1967240 Any specific reasons why?
1967228
Not me specifically, the character is just first-person...Ima change that though. Dislike bar speaks that people don't like it when its too personal
1967357 To answer for why you shouldn't write self-inserts it is because self-inserts are generally hated around FIMfiction and are rarely liked.
To answer why I said Dafuq? It is because I don't know why I read this.
Also heres a funny picture to brighten the mood
zacharyguitars.com/HappyWolf.JPG
1967357
There are two main reasons why you shouldn't write a self-insert.
The first is that you are not as interesting as you think you are. No one is. The only person who cares about you going on magical adventures in Equestria is, well, you. If you're writing for an audience, you'll want to make a character that the reader can identify with and care about. You are not that character.
The second reason is that people generally write self-inserts to live out some fantasy. They have a tendency to make good things happen to themselves, and that is bad. Every story needs conflict. The more conflict there is, the more interesting the story is. If you're just writing about how great it is to fuck Twilight Sparkle, your story will not be engaging and no one will want to read it.
fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/009/8/0/editors_logo_by_59caddyel-d5qz46g.png
Would you be interested in working with a long term editor/advisor? We can offer advice on plot development, character design, and general writing style in addition to patching grammar.
If you're interested, check us out.
1967496
Is this legit? And free?
1967485
Makes sense
I actually want to read this...Keep it up.
Let's get a proper motherfucking review here!
To start. The whole premise sucks. Really, I'd expect some sort of other shit, but this? I mean, the guy seems like a total average Joe, and not many stories are good with average Joe's (Except dodgeball)
At least he didn't go into bad-background-characteritis! That's good right?
Eh, slightly. While seeing a story with a guy who had shit for a past life before getting sent to Equestria is old, it's at least interesting. What's worse is that those stories are also self insert, and they make me question just how much they want to become "Their Ideal character." At least you didn't make me question your sanity, so okay...I guess
Well, At least it's got good grammar and stuff, right?
True, and the way he refers to himself in the third person is pretty refreshing, But it really doesn't sell the story for me. I've yet to see anything particularly wrong with this stories grammar and spelling, so he didn't just make a huge pile of shit.
Since you're so mad about this, how do YOU think you could help him?
I ain't mad, just a little disillusioned. I say he should get some more feedback, or go exploring the site and find stories he doesn't like, just to know what NOT to do.
A personal tip from me though. STAY IN GODDAMN CHARACTER! Do not, under any fucking circumstance, make the ponies act differently then they should. A story like this still has a sliver of hope if you can keep the ponies the way they are. IE Rainbow Dash arrogant and proud, but still a little insecure. Rarity Posh, but not too snobby. Twilight rather short tempered and inquisitive. Keep 'em that way.
Another, stay AWAY from the rut a lot of HiE's fall into, Easy attachment and Mary Sue. This fic suffers this WAY TOO MUCH! I can see the ponies get a little too close with a complete stranger here. Don't do that. Like, ever. Next, your character is just your ideal character YOU want to be. Not you personally, because a self insert should have your flaws, like a quirk or something you ain't particularly proud of.
Well, My work's done. Imma give a thumbs up for support, because I've been in a thumbs down rut too, and I feel like this story has potential, but it's getting nowhere.
See ya, comrade!
1971620
THANK YOU! CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM RULES! And, this story is supposed to be a bit random, and, don't worry, I think I have all of these ponies a nailed when it comes to personality.
1973209 That's yet to be seen, which is why I said that.
Good luck though!
Well I certainly
at the conversation between celly and robert mostly because how they worded it but other than that I'm sticking around if not for the imminent lols....
you might want to work on keeping the pov similar throughout the fic. there were times when it switched between third- and first-person in the same sentence...and then back again.
I find the story highly adictive and cant wait to read more!
Good story but surprising...
Very interesting...I have a feeling this is going to turn into a senseless clop-fic...
...But I've been wrong before.
It's also strangely addicting...very strange...hmm?
Well anyway I eagerly await future chapters.
MORE STORY DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!