Can't say the other races are wrong. Hopefully someone finds an equalizer.

5753452
its an interesting point. if your one of only two good (mostly) immortals that support mortals what do you do to make things fair? the sisters could just leave equestrian but after being so invested in the country for centuries its impossible to turn their backs on it. least that's what I think would be the case.
also thanks for the comment :)

5753495

If I was part of a nonpony country I would look for some sort of artifact to make them mortal and make sun and moon cycle without magic.

5753628
I don't know if I'll touch on that more in my story but it would be cool to see other fanfics explore that idea. why are only ponies the race that has its own immortals? get faust on the phone! :D

Well, i m not happy about final Celestia and luna*s relationships, looks like a same that between NM and luna on the Moon. Still wait next chapters.

I'll come back to this story once completed. Til then I have it on my read later bookmark.

Well I have to say this is a very good story. I need a certain realism about a character for stories I read and you provide that. I am also a sucker for romance stories so naturally I will admit I was hesitant to start reading mlp fiction since it is about ponies. But after reading your story along with a couple others I eventually wound up on this site from fanfiction.net and have been satisfied with what I have found. This is my first official review on this website and I thought you should know that your story was a large reason for why I started looking for more mlp fiction. Great work and I will be keeping an eye on your story.

5766000
I feel the need to say thank you for this statement.

Well, I've just read the entire story, and I can say it's interesting, but needs a lot of work. By a technical standpoint it is surprising because, while the word choice and language is good, punctuation is off all over the place. You don't even properly do possessives. Okay, this is something you would write 'Lunas ear twitched," while it should be 'Luna's ear twitched.' See, 's is very important and I don't think I've seen you do it once. You also miss a lot of parentheses, both opening and closing, which makes it hard to distinguish between dialogue and prose.
Now, as for the story itself, it's very melodramatic at times and is beginning to suffer from too many subplots. Luna/Celestia is enough to build an entire story, but you've also got Noble, his goals and fight club, as well as the introduction of Trixie. Now, it's not necessarily bad to have a lot of different things going on, the introduction of each new sub-plot risks turning readers away because they me be more intrigued by one of the other ones and would rather not have to read through things they don't care for. Generally, keep the number of plots in a story to about two.
I imagine the bad technical writing is what has prevented this story from being more popular. Think about it, to miss basic punctuation and spelling is to show low of good writing skill, which leads readers to conclude that you probably aren't a good story teller either. Mistakes are the quickest way to turn readers off.

This was probably dropped but it was a good story. Hopefully some day it will return

I'm so sad I might never be able to see an ending to this wonderful story you've written but I come back to reread it often. Cheers.

I don't really know what to say.
Despite the strange antics once in a while I was euphoric about this story at first. Language was brilliant and I don't care about bad punctuation or wrong words as long as it is readable (and I'm not a native speaker).
I really loved the developement of Luna and the depiction of mental illness.
Sadly the main topic of the story changed from the characters relationships and mental instability in the beginning to "just ordinary" storytelling in the end.
We have lots of stories telling about intrigues and criminal villains opposing the sisters, but the constellation with Nightmare, Luna and Celestia in the beginning was unique and gripping.
I guess there was no real plan for the story in the beginning so it just "developed" away from the original theme.
Sadly.

I don't care for an ending because the story lost it's quality after the seventh chapter.
It would easily have been one of my favourite stories ending there and leaving out a lot of the scheming and sideplots and developing Luna's mental illness further (which is just... forgotten in the end).

I recommend to read it anyway although it's quite cloppy here and there.

Farewell, Caleb Serusa, and thanks for sharing...

You know finishing this story I have two issues

1. I need more reasoning for why Celestia has a sexual interest for her sister that has to be explored more. You can't just do it incest plot and not give the reasoning for the character to feel that way.
2. I believe that there is too much time spent on the background characters. I felt like in general that time and energy should have been put to exploring the sisters relationship.

The best part about this story is Luna I felt like she was well made overall but I believe we needed to spend more time with her and her recovery process.

Listen there's a lot of weird ass stories on this platform I don't care what people make but I need reasonings for why everything is happening at the very least.