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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
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Name of Story: Omega (chapter 11)
Grammar Score (out of ten): 9.5
Pros:
1) Exe is a great character. He's tough, vicious, threatening, but refreshingly kind to Dissero. Plus, I love seeing non-equine characters given sentience.
2) Hooray for Nix! She's more than just a nurse now, she's a hero. I also love how you've got the rpg setup of the Omega crew, each specialising with a different combat style.
3) A new plot twist? Looking forward to what significance Thunder Shield's life/death will hold for Dissy.
Cons:
1) I legitimately
2) Am unable
3) To find any in this chapter
Notes:
Damn son, this chapter has it all. Nix no longer inadequate (something I've been hoping for this whole time), a friendly new partner for Dissero (I was really starting to worry about him), a mysterious orb in the fog... Some kind of cursed soul-binding totem? The intrigue! It compels me to continue!
*Applause*
Here's the skinny on the grammar as usual. Very nice chapter, only one criticism:
Only by? also, drop the second comma.
My pursuit of more story continues!
Adren