My Little Pony: Harmony at Play

by Prince Luna

Episode 2: The Second Harmonization (Drained of Power: Part 2)

Luna led the ponies into a close of the forest then promptly turned around.
"You gullible little foals." She said, darker than usual.
The ponies could only gasp as Luna grew and lost her colour. This was not Luna.
"Are you Anarchy?" Twilight asked.
"Indeed I am. And as SECOND revenge for my brother, I will get rid of you and your silly little Elements." He threatened.
"Girls! Together!" Twilight ordered.
The ponies gathered together and focused to bring their Elements to power. They all called their Element's name and it began to glow.
"This was a short fight Anarchy...looks like you've lost!" Taunted Rainbow Dash.
Anarchy only laughed as a large rainbow formed from the six and hit him, covering him in itself. Then it went away but Anarchy was till there. Only now he was the size of the ponies.
"Those Elements didn't get rid of me before. What makes you think they'll do so again?" Said Anarchy.
He put his hoof on a rock and began to take its colour and hardness. He ran into all the ponies, slamming them to the ground. He then touched a tree and took the characteristics of the trunk. He extended his hoof and started to hit the ponies hard with it, making them cry on the ground. He laughed maniacally before something zoomed in and kicked him hard in the plot, forcing him forward into a large rock.
"Lay off of them!" Said a familiar voice. It was Loopdeloop.
The other ponies slowly got up in awe of what the pegasus was able to do.
"And now here's me!" Laughed another pony, levitating herself with magic.
The unicorn then went out of control and knocked into a fragile tree, causing it to break and fall right on Anarchy.
"What luck..." Exclaimed Fluttershy.
"So that's...Hotcakes, right?" Asked Pinkie Pie.
"That's my name!" The cheery unicorn confirmed.
Anarchy slowly threw the tree off his back and slumped on the rock.
"Darn you...you ponies can't defeat me with strength!" He scowled.
"Perhaps not...but they have the right 'elements' to defeat you now!" A voice called from above.
On a chariot pulled by pegasus guards was Celestia and the real Luna, ready to assist with and witness the defeat of Anarchy.
"Now that the Elements of willpower and luck, Loopdeloop and Hotcakes, are here you are just as well as done for!" Taunted Luna.
Twilight smiled and nodded to the other seven to prepare themselves. They all focused and called on the names of their Elements.
Magic! Generosity! Honesty! Kindness! Laughter! Loyalty! Willpower! Luck!
The ponies began to glow and rise up with more power than ever before and fired a golden rainbow at Anarchy.
He quickly noticed that it would home in on him and he rushed behind the Princesses, who were hit with the blast and quickly turned to stone and collapsed to the ground.
The guards then angrily charged at Anarchy, who simply swept them away by Anarchy's magical powers.
"How...how dare you!" Shouted Fluttershy.
"You despicable, tricky ass!" Shouted Rarity.
"That was mighty uncalled for, you hear?" Said Applejack
"Celestia...Luna...YOU WILL PAY, ANARCHY!" Twilight raged.
Just as she said this, her tiara glowed brightly and the other Elements shot a rainbow beam at the gem on it. The Elements disappeared from the ponies' necks and Twilight began to glow herself.
"What's happening to Twilight?!" Pinkie Pie asked.
"HARMONIZE!" Twilight Sparkle shouted.
Twilight then grew large wings and her horn grew. Her purple coat turned into a darker shade and her cutie mark disappeared.
"Not this! Oh anything but this!" Cried Anarchy.
Twilight stopped glowing and began to fly on the spot.
"I only just have a clue what happened." Twilight explained, "You all lent me the power of your Elements of Harmony and I 'Harmonzied' as Luna did to defeat Anarchy before. The power of all eight Elements combined with anypony makes them extremely powerful. But for once enough chitchat."
Twilight then concentrated and shot a large beam of light at Anarchy. He began to get sucked in to the light.
"NO! YOU FOALS CANNOT DEFEAT ME!" He screamed, "NOT SO EASILY!"
His last breath was on a banshee-like scream as the light turned into an orb and floated to the sky. The orb then exploded and a large light filled Equestria. All Anarchy had turned wrong was made right again and all his destruction was fixed.
Twilight floated down softly as the other ponies clapped and cheered madly for her.
"When can I do that?!" Rainbow Dash asked.
"You were simply beautiful, darling!" Yelled Rarity.
"That was brilliant! Do it again! Do it again!" Cheered Fluttershy.
"That was SO AWESOME!" Shouted Pinkie Pie and Hotcakes.
"You're a rad pony, Twilight Sparkle!" Laughed Loopdeloop.
"I knew you could do it!" Exclaimed Applejack.
Twilight bowed and then looked over to the statues of the sisters. She closed her eyes and her wings disappeared into a similar orb of light, as did the growth of her horn. She returned to normal and the two orbs combined and shined on the royal sisters. They returned to normal, stood up and bowed to Twilight Sparkle.
---
Another award ceremony had been prepared for the eight saviours. Twilight Sparkle in particular. They were given medals and a new window depicting the alicorn Twilight and seven ponies destroying the outline of a mad colt.
---
Loopdeloop and Hotcakes introduced themselves. Loopdeloop was a brave pony willing to do anything and she loved to fly in the dark; she had the perfect eyes for it. Hotcakes was a hyperactive pony with amazing luck. She was an expert at baking cakes so Pinkie Pie decided to show her the Sugarcube Corner. Rainbow Dash took Loopdeloop to Cloudsdale. The ponies all got along well.

Comments

[Ponaygurl]

*tracking* And now... I GO.

[Dash Is Best Pony]

This was a really fun read, and I loved the idea. I like your OC characters, anyways. Except for their names (which I don't like lol), you did a great job giving them personality and life in just two short chapters. I could seriously see them as characters on the show. Hotcakes sound like such a boss, luck was an awesome idea for an element!

No offense, but you have plenty of room to improve as well. Plus I have things I want to complain about, so here goes . The "Harmonize" idea is really cool, I like it. But I still feel it takes away from the whole point of the "magic of friendship", you know? As soon as harmonize got shouted it went from "we're going to defeat Anarchy" to "I'm going to defeat Anarchy". If you continue this I would recommend that you make sure to acknowledge the rest of the Mane.... er, 8 during those parts. It's cool if you let us know they're channeling the energy into Twilight or something, but it's just weird if Twilight uses everything while they watch. Why are they there if one of them can just take all the elements and become incredibly powerful without the others' help, you know?

I'm pondering this, by the way, so help me out here: What do Anarchy's powers have to do with... well, anarchy ? I don't know what anarchy has to do with storms popping up. Plus, him turning into the things he touches sounds like he represents harmony in some way, being able to harmonize himself with his surroundings and become part of them . The power was very awesome, and I'm not saying you did a bad job. I just think you could have come up with a better name, since that didn't really make sense.

In terms of the actual story, all I can say is that you shouldn't rush. When you did describe things, you did so well. I liked your word choice and descriptions. You skipped over a lot of places that could have been described more thoroughly, though. Like when everypony is congratulating Twilight at the end. You have this long, vertical line-up of dialogue with no description whatsoever. It made it feel really empty. Like, what were they doing while saying all these things? Standing still?
Try to have a more natural, flowing feel overall, I guess. That probably doesn't help much, but I hope it does!

Those are just my stupid complaints though. I thought this was awesome. I hope you plan on continuing it in some form or other, or start writing another fic. I'd read it! The way you write reminds me of anime, and I love anime! Thanks for writing this, I enjoyed it immensely.

[Dash Is Best Pony]

130324 So I forgot to ask. WILL you be continuing this story? Loopdeloop and Hotcakes just got added, so it'd be a shame to see this end.

[Prince Luna]

>>Dash is Best Pony
Thanks for the feedback! We could call these episodes trial episodes I suppose, I can work with your suggestions in later villain episodes :) and of course I will be continuing the series! The next episode is in writing as we speak!

[Dash Is Best Pony]

132044 Great to hear! Glad I could help. Good luck. (that's weird, all those sentences started with "G" )