What happens when Rarity finds herself against a wall and the right thing to do happens to be a little bit illegal and worse of all, she discovered she got a talent for it and more surprisingly find herself loving it. Throw in twilight sparkle, the ever overachieving student of the princess hell bent in catching this new menace to pony society and you have this attempt at slightly comedic cat/mouse game of thievery and intrigue wich is probably more than I can manage but I will try.
Chapters (2)
Before reading:
I suggest you sort your description out. Make it grammatically correct for a start.
After reading:
Your grammar and spelling could use some work. Your writing style as well.
I can't really judge your premise because there isn't enough development and because I can't really be bothered at the moment.
very nice look forward to more
omg omg omg i got a like, and i know my gammar is not exelent english is not my mother tongue and the writting style.... well i am more used to reading things in spanish and sometime i am writting something and i know how to perfectly write it but alas is in spanis and it does not work on english.
But thanks for taking the time to read this, it actually means a lot to me
You could ask for an editor, preferably one who takes a creative writing class.
how does that actually work? i am a stranger to the inner workings of fimfiction
1726394
ask around, i'm pretty sure there is also a group
I really like the idea, but your wirting could improve in some points. Go more into detail (in a story like this especially about the characters, their thoughts, and what they expect the others to think in certain situations) and tell your story at a slightly slower pace.
Again, your ideas are good and the story really has potential. As for proper wirting, a good source of advice would be https://www.furaffinity.net/user/ookamkasumi 's articles.
1727594 Thanks rakaziel, i must admit that the seminaked snake man on the front page made me little esceptical (is that how it is written? i have no spell check at the moment), but i am currently reding the tips there and i must say they are really helpfull, they do hit the nail about my shortcomings so thanks again i hope to improve
Cute but need sokme work on spelling and gramar as well as too much telling rather than showing what's going on. I suggest trying one of the editing group on here as they're often filled with kind friendly folks who can help make your story even better.