I wasn't sure if I'd even survive in Equestria. But it wasn't as bad since I live with Ditzy Doo, otherwise known as Derpy, and her kids.
Rated Teen for language and some suggestive themes.
Chapters (1)
p0nies4life
Joined 8th Nov, 2012 ·
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This is just a test run, I will most likely continue this but I'm not too sure. *shrug*
But thanks for reading anyway.
It's certainly better then a lot of terrible HiE fics, but I didn't love it either.
2.bp.blogspot.com/-SAPtMd1V9TI/T3BpLIn-q3I/AAAAAAAAAOU/XsC18UUxJ5Y/s1600/rambo.jpg
>looks up humanized equestria
>gets strictly HiE fics
>reads this
>fucking awesome
Well then.
dis gon b gud
I came.
1705391 Alright then.
1705396 It was glorious.
What on this wild blue and green Earth did I just read?
I think I might know why this story might of been getting dislikes...
>Romance tag has been enabled...
I'm pretty sure that many people will mindlessly dislike this story at the dislike tag, unless, it is not instant and actually takes a while to develop feelings between man and pony.
>Cliched opening
Person works at office. Check.
So, yeah, this is my theory.
I... don't hate this somehow?
Actually an entertaining read. Not totally sure why it's so downvoted, other than the obvious things like a generic intro, instantly ending up in Equestria, dealing with a well-known character suddenly, grammatical errors, quick pacing and not seeming too freaked out.
I like the fact that he isn't instantly integrated into society. For that, you get exactly one mustache.
Don't write the second chapter horribly and make me revoke it.
Also, when I saw:
I immediately thought:
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/434/303/a72.gif
1705413 For some reason I liked your wording of that comment.
Hi! Scribblestick the Chill here. Seems you're attracting an unusual number of downvotes. Let's see what we can do to fix that.
So I noticed you have both the "human" and "romance" tags. Obviously, I don't know if the human will be part of the romance, but he/she often is, and the romance is often rushed, uninteresting, and unconvincing. It's entirely possible that people are downvoting this based on that alone. But I'm willing to see where you go with this, so let's dive on into the story.
>reads story
Huh. This isn't half-bad. It's not ground-breaking or anything, but the pacing is decent, and your mechanics are mostly solid. I thought Steve adjusted a little to quickly to Equestria, but this was much better than the HiE fics I usually see.
Protip: The ROYAL CANTERLOCK VOICE should be used sparingly.
When a quote is followed by attribution ("I llike eggs!" said Spike.), the attribution does not count as a new sentence, even if the quote ends in an exclamation point or question mark, so the first word doesn't need to be capitalized unless it's a name.
Direct thoughts are usually put in italics or inside 'single quotes.' I prefer italics, but that's just me.
Typo.
When a quote is followed by attribution and doesn't end in a question mark or exclamation point ("I like eggs," said Spike.), then the quote ends with a comma, not a period.
So, yeah. Hope this helps!
~Scribblestick, TWE's notoriously friendly moderator
1705421
As someone with an HiE fic on my own account I obviously didn't dislike this story simply because it's HiE. I disliked this story because it falls into writing traps that should be easily avoided.
The silly dialogue and prose doesn't help the story stand on its own, and the writer uses emphasis on words to an almost painful extent.
It wasn't horribly painful to read like some others, but neither is it anything to be impressed with.
1705391
You do that a lot.
1705510 I've got a lot of stamina.
I don't normally read stuff with the human tag, so this is new for me.
I...didn't like it (sorry). The story moved too fast for any real character development. Who's Steve? Name: Steve, Gender: Male, Dislikes: his boss, Likes: cussing(?) I assume we are supposed to like Steve but it's kinda hard when we don't know anything about him.
I'm confuzzled. I see the thumbs down but don't see what's so bad with this story? Okay, it's several kinds of generic and it's got the cliche "accident sends him to Equestria" but it's not bad.
I guess people just saw the HiE & romance tags and thumbed it down because of those. It's a shame that the fandom has come to this.
Other than a few weirdly put sentences I found this story quite good! I can't wait until the next part!
1705785
I have an HiE story with numerous thumbs up.
Please see my earlier comment for why I think it's getting downvoted.
1706798
And? So do I. Last time I checked though that had nothing to do with how good or bad this story actually is. If you want to measure success by that yardstick, while mine was never in the featured section it did get 50 thumbs up on it's first day out and was shown under the "Popular Stories" sidebar.
As I said, I was wondering why this was being thumbed down. It's a tad generic, but it's not bad. There's not a lot to go on with it so far but then the story is just starting. No thumbs up or thumbs down for me on this story, I'm just not moved by it one way or another.
1707499
What do you mean and?
It's not written well, it's that simple. If he picks it up I'll change my vote.
1707502
That was in reference to your statement:
That's very nice and you should feel proud of yourself but what does that have to do with this story? If you're using it to show that you know what it takes to make a successful HiE fic then I too know this and I must know more because my story has more thumbs up than yours. But in the end that's meaningless and has nothing to do with how good or how bad this story is.
1707517
I was using it as an example because you were putting forth the possibility that people were disliking it because it was an HiE story, when that is clearly not the case.
HiE stories get likes and dislikes the same way as any other story.
This story is not written well, therefore it gets dislikes. It's not because it's HiE.
Do I have to explain myself several more times now?
1707530
Actually, HiE fics are judged very harshly on this site especially if they have the dreaded "romance" tag attached to them. Typically it's because they're poorly written, first person, obvious self-insert, wish fulfillment type stories where the OC is actually the author and he wants to get it on with one pony in particular. 90% of the HiE fics fall into this category and it's for this reason that people have an actual hatred of HiE + Romance stories. It doesn't matter how good or bad the story actually is, people will give it thumbs down simply because of that without ever having read it. Or they allow that prejudice to colour their judgement while reading it and since it's not giving them anything new or exciting they then thumb it down and continue.
And I don't agree that's it's poorly written. I will agree that it's generic and the author needs to bring his "A" game to the table but it's not a bad story.
And I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just pointing out that you saying that you have more likes than dislikes on your HiE fic is not proof that they get a fair shake on this site. There's no reason to get defensive about this and I'm not going to get into a pissing match here. I'm just here to voice my opinion on the matter.
1707579
What more proof do you require? I see HiE fics make it to the featured box quite a bit. granted, there are a few fics that make it up there that don't belong.
Our stories ARE proof that HiE gets a fair shake.
I will agree that it's not as popular as other types of fics, but I'm not gonna sit in my corner and whine because someone doesn't like the fact that my story is HiE.
The people who will thumbs down a story for being HiE are fewer than you think. Most of the people who don't like HiE just don't bother to click on it, read, or even vote for it, they simply roll their eyes and move on, because it's not to their taste.
You are sitting here thinking there's this group of people who are prejudiced against a certain type of story, that's stupid. They are individuals, not the fandom. The fact that there are groups dedicated to well written stories of humans in Equestria is enough to prove you wrong, just look at the AiE or HiE groups.
You can disagree all you want, but the fundamentals of this story are broken and the prose is mediocre.
It's okay. Not great, not terrible.
That's not to say it's without it's problems.
Written in first person. Never do this for your first story especially if it's an HiE fic. It comes across as a self-insert. It's also too limiting in that the only action that can take place is what the narrator sees, hears or is somehow aware of.
Story is kinda thin, not much to go on at the moment. Blandy McBlanderson gets to Equestria using the tired and true accident method. Kudos for not having him meet one of the mane six right off the bat and points for the first pony being Derpy. You lose points however for having the OC be a bit of a douchebag who uses the ROYAL CANTERLOCK VOICE often and swearing when not necessary.
Beyond that, I don't know. This deserves a watch, you seem to have some promise but you would do well to expand what it is you have.
more please more