Dear Twilight Sparkle,
I messed up. You of all ponies can surely understand my feelings on this, but believe me when I say, there was nothing you would have done differently. If you are reading this, then I succeeded, and my mistakes are undone. Still, I owe us both this story, if only as proof that what I went through was real. Take from it what you will, but please indulge me, if only in honor of my sacrifices.
Yours truly, Twilight Sparkle.
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Cover art sources:
http://helhoof.deviantart.com/art/September-PMV-Background-Destroyed-Ponyville-284811010
http://www.deviantart.com/morelikethis/312298354/scraps#/d4xef6o
Chapters (1)
Is good.
Well...nice beginning at least. But I would need to see how this will go on.
At the end, this is nothing more than prologue to me.
And I'd have thoguht of Mephisto as Iron Will - complete with motivational speaks and all
This has tons of potential but there's not enough here to really comment on yet.
I suspect the thumbs down you're getting are from people annoyed that you're indirectly disempowering Twilight by saying that her power came from someone else. I wouldn't worry about that. It's a fine premise so long s it's handled well. Incidentally...not sure if it's intended, but the way Mephisto phrased his conditions, the obvious favor for him to ask would be to have Twilight kill Celestia. Thus causing the sun to no longer rise and her to lose the power he gave her, thus robbing her of the ability to make things better.