• Published 21st Aug 2012
  • 795 Views, 3 Comments

Living the Dream: Wisp - Wild Wisp

Human, ponies, adventure, secrets, lost legends, and....singing cockroaches?

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Prologue: the dreamer

Living the Dream: Wisp

Prologue: The Dreamer

“I’m telling you DJ, in just 3 minutes we’re all going to die”. DECEMBER 20th 2012, the streets of Austin were bulging at the seams with people, Dancing, drinking, and of course the occasional ‘the world is coming to an end’ rant. The city of Austin decided to hold an “End of the world Jam”. Think Austin city limits only bigger. A great time to be having a blast, ‘then why am I stuck in here with this Loon’ I thought to my self as Ollie went on another of his rants. It been going like that all night, Ollie ranting, john drinking his ass off, and jenny laughing at the scene before her, ‘well at least SHE’S having fun’ I sighed as Ollie began to change his rant to government cover ups.

I’m David, but everyone calls me DJ, I’m 20 years old, I work at Florias as a bust boy, and I’m at a lousy party, with two guys I Hardly even know, just to impress this girl I like, isn’t life great. As Ollie continued his rant I decided enough was a enough, “Give it a rest Ollie, the world isn’t going to end, and there’s nothing you can do to convince me” I stood up an picked up my jacket, “I’m going home” as I walked towards the door Jen called out, “come on DJ, there’s only 1 minute to midnight” I stopped and turned my head toward Jen, who was giving me the Saddest Puppy Dog eyes of all time, “Don’t you want to spend our last moment on earth together”. My heart stopped, my pulse rose, and a single word formed on my lips, “fine” I set my jacket on the ground and sat on the couch with Jen.

I looked at Jen, whose expression change from sad to smug and then she began to laugh, “I can’t believe you fell for it, I mean you always do, but its still funny every time” I could fell my face turn red ‘why do I fall for her tricks, how many times have I anyway?’ I began to counter her when John interrupted my train of thought, “Yo Jen, stop yer Laugh Attack, its time ta count” at that we all stared at the clock, even Ollie calmed down and started to count. TEN, ‘another night down the drain, what happens now?’, NINE, ‘is this all I’m going to be, am I destined to be a loser bust boy my whole life?’, EIGHT, ‘Sometimes I wished I grew up to be an adventurer, Going to distant lands, finding hidden tomes, and unlocking lost secrets’, SEVEAN, ‘But I know its just a dream and that’s all it ever will be, SIX, ‘ Still it would be fun to Have an adventure’, FIVE, ‘The Mystery, the excitement’, FOUR, I closed my eyes and sighed, THREE, ‘It would be wonderful, to be on an adventure, TWO, ‘ I WISH WITH ALL MY HEART, I WISH WITH ALL MY SOUL, GIVE ME A CHANCH, GIVE ME AN OPPITUNIY, AND I WILL PROVE TO YOU THAT.I.CAN.DO.ANYTHING’, ONE. I sighed, ‘another night wasted and gone, well I better get going’. I stood up and opened my eye, whose pupils immediately shrank to the size of pin pricks. All around me, as far as my eyes could see, I was surrounded, by nothing. I twisted my head like an owl, trying to see anything, a shadow, a piece of Ollie’s trash, even a dust mite, but no mater how hard I focused, all I could see was white. Suddenly a booming voice, echoed threw the empty void, “YOUNG DREAMER. YOU HAVE SURVIVED THE RAPTUER, AND NOW THOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN A CHANCH TO LIVE AGAIN”.


‘Ok, I’ve finally lost it’ I thought as I stood in the void of emptiness, suddenly my thoughts were cut sort as the voice spoke, “YOUNG DREAMER, AS A GIFT FOR LIVING A SUCCESSFUL LIFE, YOU-“, I exploded in to a fit of laughter cutting it off, after a few minutes I began to speak, “ok, now I know this is a dream, I mean do you even know who your talking too, all my life I’ve messed up every thing, how do you call that a successful life”. What happen next caught me off geard. It was the voices turn to explode in to laughter, as its laughter died down it spoke in a more jolly voice, “OH, BUT YOU HAVE, LIFE HAS THOWEN MANY OBSTACLES IN YOUR PATH, YET YOU ENDUERD, YOU CONTINUED TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH WAITING FOR WHAT EVER CAME NEXT, IF THAT WASN’T A SUCCESSFUL LIFE I DON’T KNOW WHAT WAS’.

Silence, for next minute, the void was silent. As I stood there, I began to ponder, ‘this voice, is it telling the truth? Did I really live such I successful life, I didn’t even know it?’ suddenly I was broken out of my thoughts as the voice spoke, “YOUNG DREAMER, I HAVE COME TO YOU, GIVING YOU THREE CHOICES, THE FIRST CHOICE, BE SEN’T TO HEAVEN, THE SECONED CHOICE, BE SENT TO HELL”. I stood there speechless, thinking on what it said, ‘those are some though choices, I-, a thought popped up in my mind, “wait you said THREE choices, what’s the third?” i didn’t have to wait long for a reply, “THE THIRD CHOICE, YOU WILL BE SENT TO A WORLD OF YOUR CHOICE, IN THIS WORLD, YOU WILL ARIVE AT YOUR CURRENT AGE OF 20, YOU WILL RETAINE YOUR CURENT MEMORYS AND THERE YOU WILL LIVE A LIFE YOU CHOOSE .”.

I stood their, shocked, ‘is that even possible? No way it must be lying, but what if its not? Maybe-‘, suddenly, a thought popped into my head, ‘well if he’s lying or not, there is ONE world I always wanted to go to. Besides if it can’t send me, then that’s mean its lying’, I smirked as I spoke in a smug and clear voice, “what do I have to lose? What am I a girl? Well since your offering”. I then began to smirk, “then send me to equestria, as a unicorn.” I felt good as I stood there, expecting to hear silence, instead the voice replied. “HEHEHEH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I’VE HERD THAT TODAY. SO BE IT YOUNG DREAMER, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND WHEN YOU OPEN THEM. YOU WILL START YOU NEW LIFE, ALONG WITH THE OTHERS WHO CHOSED THE SAME PATH”. I stopped smirking, I didn’t expect it to give me an answer, and what did it mean by others. I was hesitant, half of me not trusting it, BUT a stronger half of me, wondered if it COULD be true, if I would go to equestria when I closed my eyes. My thought where interrupted as the voice continues. ”I HOPE YOU’RE CHOICE WILL YOU HELP SEE THINGS IN A NEW PERSPECTIVE”. ‘What did he mean by that'? Even thou I was still confused I began getting more and more exited, eventually my sense of wonder won. I closed my eyes.

A feeling of extreme nausea hits me straight on. A strange felling like wind rushing past my face hit me, causing me to snap my eyes open. Only to see i was pluming towards the ground about five thousand feet above, I panicked as the ground got closer. I didn’t know what to do. I knew I was goanna die I knew-. Then a bright flash of light clouded my vision and I found my self safely on the ground. I looked around and noticed I was in the clearing of a frost covered forest. I then promptly fell on all four and began to pant, my hooves stretched out soar and-. 'Wait I have hooves?' I looked again, true another instead of my hands and feet i had hooves. At that revelation I jumped on all fours (goanna take some getting used to that) and began to inspect my self, and I began to grin. I had a dark blue coat. i looked at my tail which was silver. 'so that means my mane is also silver. Huh guess I could call myself silver mane" i couldn’t help but laugh at my small joke my girlish giggle was soft and- "WAIT WHAT?" I was shocked, completely. I then began to examine my self more closely. And my eyes widened. What I failed to noticed earlier was that I had more curves then I expected and I was defiantly finner then I thought. Suddenly a horrible thought crossed my mind. 'Oh please be there, please be there'. I moved my left for Hoof towards my lower reigns. Hoping to find to my little buddy my amigo my-. My hoof reached its destination. Nothing was there. So what did I do next? Simple, I screamed so loud the entire forest shook and then I did most unmanly thing ever. I fainted.

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Comments ( 3 )

im a huge fan of the original LtD, but i think you should really get an editor/proofreader for this stuff


Now, you see... LtD might be popular, but... uh, from a literary perspective, it's pretty freakin' terrible. Now, this story is built upon that one, and so far, it doesn't look good at all, either. The grammar is absolutely terrible. First- or second-grade terrible. There's so many mistakes that it's hard to read. So many mistakes, ones they teach you not to make in school. School is good; stay in it and listen, your grammatical skills will improve. I'm going into tenth grade this year, and my grammar is good. You can do it too. Practice proper grammar in things like online games when chatting, and such. It helped me a lot. Now, back to the plot. Okay, generic SI W-F beginning, completely unoriginal Rapture dealio and all that, straight from the source material. No originality to this piece except for the main character's dreams of nailing canon characters--which is what all the characters from the source material seem to have in common for some dumb reason--being basically smashed from the beginning, which, considering the (and I quote) 'romance' theme of the original, will hopefully lead this to take its own--and more reasonable--direction.

I will not downvote this; I hate the original, and I don't like this so far, but I didn't come here expecting much, and I came to give advice, and there you have it.

1127029 Even thou that last comment pissed me off. i have to say you're right. i suck at writeing/typeing i admit it. but my ideas are begging to be let out. i thank you and truth betold i'm looking for a pre reader/editor. i want to make a story that will be remberd but i need alot of help. thanks agine for the comment. and if you know anyone who could pre reader/editor for me please send them my way. i suck worse then my brother at singing. Dear god thats horrible.

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