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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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this has been a long time coming.
Woah. I kinda hate the ponies lol.
While I can't blame the ponies for this, I do want him to be with Etheria!
its has been a long time but good chapter.
Finally...a fic where ponies don't bat an eye when someone says they eat meat.
Because it's a normal part of life!
Thank you, author...thank you.
Well, see you guys then in August 2017 for the next chapter.
Now that's a lot of plot (no pun intended)! So glad the story's moving along. I have been wondering when we would finally get to meet the other ponies. Finally! Wooo! Thank you for an awesome chapter!
I was on the edge of my seat this entire chapter.
And then I fell off.
I'm ok though.
And now we wait for another 6 months for the next chapter, just like the previous two
Eeeeyikes, poor dudes life took a wrong turn down the OhshitLane to Shitville. Here's hoping, things will get better and he doesn't end up a pony hating equicidal maniac.
6956664
I can understand their reactions given the circumstances. Finding him with Ethera's head in his lap, blood everywhere, then Mom shows up with the guards... Luna (the impulsive one) would have done more than just throwing him into a wall I'd bet. Since this is not a silly fic but a far more realistic tone, it all played out like I expected. He should be getting a nocturnal visit from Luna the moment he goes to sleep. Lord knows what she'll do in his dreams although forcefully replaying memories to find out what Ethera went through is highly likely. Until the little princess recovers from the gunshot wound, Alex is, as he said, a non-entity with no rights besides what they allow. At least some crazy pony isn't trying to take horrifying samples, such as pulled teeth or shaving his head/crotch in patches.
What surprised me was the lack of changelings. Not a single one was present from what I could tell. They would have known from across the castle Alex was all but hyperventilating in panic and confusion. At least the assigned nurse/doctor could see the obvious signs and tell the Commander to back down before they had to drag an unconscious human around.
This is what you envision as hell, Shac? Sure as fuck looks like it. Throughout at least 80% of it, I was on at least 110 BPM. And if I was like this, I'm downright amazed Alex's heart hasn't fucking exploded.
Damn these ponies are dense. Great job considering an entirely helpless and deaf magic-less unit a highly dangerous prisoner, the lefty most of all.
Although I'm not buying the instant jail cell teleport. That is waaaaaay too cliché to HiE with hostile ponies. Being held up inside a magical box by Celestia would have been more fitting considering magic is so functional in this universe.
I really really want Luna to understand she changed the situation from bad to worse in the next chapter.
This situation is only this bad because of the temper tantrum she threw back on earth.
...now we just need to wait for Etherna to tell everyone what they did was wrong, sure they assume he was a type of threat-- but I'm just waiting to see her telling them what they did was near bad an making Luna guilty for what she started in the first place....
6956800
Perhaps the doctor is a changeling?
6956837
Same, an apology is the least she can start off with to set things right, and I wouldn't even blame Alex for throwing it back in her face. Would be a normal and understandable reaction.
Love the story only wish it got updated more often
It's 1am.
I am tired and need to go to bed...
I check fimfic by mistake and see that this has been updated...
...
...
Sleep is overrated anyway...
Well... This should be interesting. A human in Equestria, with a high level of resentment for some of the authority figures. Violation of the mind (forcing in a new language), bodily harm (Luna on Earth), mental torture (force stripping him, and parading him around), physical abuse (moving him with magic disallowing him a say (since he could barely hear, let alone understand or speak the language) or retaliation method in the matter - resulting in a complete and utter submissive position he was forced into).
He's bound to keep some mental scarring from all of this, which will affect his interactions with certain ponies at the least, an potentially all ponies as a species.
On the pony side... One wonders how they'll react when they determine the extent of their actions on his being.
This should prove interesting to see what happens next.
It's always a treat to see a new chapter of this story pop up in my notifications
i'll read it ASAP
6956988
To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if he suffers PTSD from this. This much high stress and fear for his life with a complete lack of control are the perfect breeding grounds for it. If they don't act carefully, this could mentally cripple him. I hope the ponies have a really good xenopsychologist because they really need one.
@Shachza
How everybody in the comments feel.
i.imgur.com/pcS8SrM.png
Finally! Though why doesn't anyone know about him already?
6956700 Well, it makes sense for them to not react if they've got griffins in their employ.
I can't really blame the ponies for doing this but I do expect some compensation be given to him for what he suffered both physically and mentally.
6956800 eh, I understand the situation, but since I don't tend to read in depth, I feel get the feeling as if when Luna invaded his mind, she may have taken something else as well... I mean, I would too in that situation, but still. Twilight seems to be kinda insensitive about the whole, 'unplanned extreme vacation", and even the guard captain are all in a mindset that I can understand. However, portrayed through Alex ' s mindset, and directly after a series of consequences that lead to all his stress, and then maybe about to be accused of murder of the FBI guys, it feels as if he is both alone and afraid.
So yeah, he's either going to be tormented by nightmares, visited by Luna, or dream less weakening to a harsh (maybe) interrogation by either the guadrds, or Luna, until Ethereal wakes up.
Of course, that being if this story updates within the next year.
Wow, a new chapter? *squeeee*!
It's 10 to 3 a.m., but I just gotta read this now!
6957158 imgur has blacklisted FIMFiction.
6956826
Considering her anger, a nice jail cell was probably not the first choice Celestia made before zapping him away. She always seemed the more thoughtful sister and you can't question a corpse (or a pile of ashes).
6957409 Probably. What I mean is that it's implausible that Celestia would be able to remote-teleport something exactly to a spot of a castle that isn't her own. If it were Canterlot Castle, I'd believe it, but so far this sounds a lot like the Crystal Palace.
Unless I misread the chapter and it is indeed Canterlot.
6957432 The thing is that this new creature, this human, is not a known quantity. There's no measure of how strong, fast, or magically talented he is. It also appears that he just injured or did something bad to a princess, indicating he must be fairly powerful. It would make sense to transport him away rather than attempt to restrain him.
6957461 I'm not questioning the motive. I'm questioning the implementation. I talked about it in this comment: 6957432
6957477 When I initially read it, I thought it was Canterlot. As I understood it, Etherea's been staying in Canterlot most of her life and it would make sense that she'd go there and not to the Crystal Empire.
6957487 Which is why I questioned myself.
It's probably juts the style this chapter was written in, due to the PoV character being so out of it, with stream-of-consciousness writing due to the injuries, but I did not like how this one out. It was nice and long, but basically nothing got resolved here, and nothing particularly interesting happening in terms of advancement of the plot.
I feel as though about 60% of this writing could have been cut to no ill effect, and it would have been better off for it.
Man Luna seems like such a bitch in this lol. Can't wait for the next chap!
Now the eternally long wait until the next chapter
I was feeling anxious the entire time I was reading this. Man, do you know how to write anxiety.
Good shit mate, good shit.
I'm super excited now for the next one. I'm liking that doctor, she's putting his needs before any kind of scientific discovery. Moar. SHE REMINDS ME OF FARAN!
This is awesome. I love that you are treating all parties as reasonably intelligent people. An unexplained weapon goes off right next to a military installiation? Investigate it. The only witness appears scared and won't talk about it? Look into potential hostage/intimidation scenerios. A strange creature appears in a princess's chambers and at the same time she becomes critically wounded (just guessing as to how bad she is, we never got any news on Ehterea this chapter)? Detain him and take no chanes. Can't find the means that was used to hurt the princess? Strip him and search for hidden weapons. No one is missing, and the apparent agressor is in distress, check him out medically and give him a moment to breathe.
All of this was masterfully done, and I love the way you put emotion into the narration.
The only things I'm frustrated with are that we didn't get to Alex's interrogation and that we got no news on Ehterea in this chapter. I know that a lot of time and effort go into these chapters, and that people have lives outside of fanfiction, but I'm really looking forward to the next installiation!
As a side note, those breaks in conversation are really annoying. I assume that it's a combination of tinnitus and Alex loosing concentration for the translation, but I feel like we'really missing key points of the dialog. Like the reasoning Twilight gave for not listening to Etherea's story.
6956826 From their point of view, he managed to teleport directly into Etherea's room and managed to severly injure her.
So yeah, most likely highly dangerous.
Didn't take them much time to understand that it wasn't really the case. The first question asked were about is well being.
So. . . what? He's avoided eye contact his entire life or something?
6957640 During one of the broken bits of dialogue, there's some mention by Alex that he wishes they would talk slower. My guess is that he just wasn't able to properly understand them between needing to one-to-one translate every word and keep up with them as they speak at a normal conversational speed in a language that he doesn't properly know.
6957672 The first question that he could hear. Do remember that Lefty Sourpuss questioned him many times while he remarked in the narrative that he couldn't hear fuck all.
6957779 Good one!
6957830 We don't know what was asked. For all we know, it may have been variation on "why are you ignoring me?".
Anyway, "commander pony" is the probably just your typical militray douchebag with aggresive and paranoid reflexes. Nothing special to this from a human point of view.
Very grateful for another chapter. It is well done. Please don't keep us waiting for another.
That's being entirely too hopeful there buddy. Celestia teleported you to the jail where you were strung up and figuratively manhandled like a sack of meat. Then, despite it being RIDICULOUSLY obvious to anybody with even a quarter of a fucking brain (which every single one of them apparently lack) that you are utterly helpless. They strip you, poke and prod you, then merrily parade you out into the open to be a freak show just because they fucking want to. Add to that, Luna mind-raped you and knew every little thing about you, but decided not to say anything, DESPITE BEING THE ONLY ONE THAT COULD HAVE HELPED, AND KNEW THE SITUATION! In addition, you have an officer who really likes to be a complete dick and NOBODY FUCKING REALIZED YOU CAN'T SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OR HEAR!? Dude, you are fucking meat to them, an oddity at best. Don't delude yourself into thinking they care. If they did, they would have been at least somewaht nice. I'm done with this shit. Downvoted.
And the moral of the story is don't ever do the right thing. You'll just be physically and mentally raped then thrown into a cell to rot if you do.
In all seriousness though, I honestly hope Alex gets the justice and peace he deserves. In too many fanfics like this, all the ponies have to do is say sorry and the person they blatantly abused is frolicking through the fields of friendship with them with absolutely no repercussions for their actions whatsoever. I truly hope the same won't be said for this piece. Hope the next chapter comes soon.
It's so hard for me to relate to Alex...I just can't understand how someone can realistically have that much anxiety about everything. To me, it makes him not really believable as a character.
Do people actually have anxiety this bad in real life?
6958168 Short answer, yes.
Long Answer, depends on circumstance and certain mental conditions.
Damn. What a 'sad' chapter for Alex. I'm not going to lie. I'd be asking them just to kill me. Most call me a pessimistic, but I'm a realist. If I was in Alex's position I'd know, "That it's Game over man! Game over!" I'd just lose all hope. I mean Alex's life back on Earth is over. Plain and simple. Even if he goes back he will be immediately taken in by the FBI, Home Land Security and etc. He will spend the rest of his life in a prison at a place that does not exist. His only small hope is that Etherna is able to bale him out. If the other Princesses are willing to listen. And even then he will always be considered a threat and watched at all times.
After all humanity is a very destructive race and for all we know Lunas and the others could go into his mind when he is awake or asleep and find out about his world and species. I mean Lunas fucking went into his mind and force fed him the Equestrian language. He is lucky that didn't kill him or give him brain damage.
In the end I was excited for this to finally be updated. I just love/hate the cliffhanger he gave us dear author. Keep up the amazing work you and the others do.